The crazy things that happen while we sleep. I had a dream about Christopher. He was looking okay and wandering around like a ghost. I kept thinking he was a ghost until he bumped into me, at which time I turned and said to him (no foolin - honest dream dialogue)

"Oh pussycat, I don't care if you're gay, if you are an alcoholic, if you do drugs, or if you dress like a girl, you can do anything you want, just please don't die!"

Pretty heartwrenching stuff, eh? I thought so. The most relieving thing to me as I woke up from this was the fact that I remember what he looks like from memory. I don't have to resort to a picture. I know I will soon. His image fades more with each passing day.

Joseph is divorced. He told me March 2nd (in case you weren't sure why that page was all black and gold and sparkly with dancing people at the bottom) and we went to the mall and got his ring cut off.

We will be going back to the jewelry store in a week or so to see about matching earrings for the necklace he gave me. I didn't quite feel right about him getting the ring off and buying me stuff simultaneously, but I know one has nothing to do with the other, so it doesn't bother me horribly.

Three more days till Vegas. I really miss my brother and sister. I haven't seen my sister Sabrina in about 9 years now. As for Steven, I haven't seen him in about two. He is the only one of the Vegas contingent that actually got to meet Chris...I think. Maybe he didn't. Oh well, they will get to meet Joseph.

Had a really steamy conversation with Rob a couple of nights ago. Gosh I miss him. Every time I re-connect with him I think that this time I won't feel that horrible longing for him, but I do. Unfortunately every time I get NEAR Rob I end up hurting him, and know that I just CAN'T do that again. He's got to find someone nicer than me. I know he's capable. And cute. And funny. And smart. Anyone out there single and looking? He lives in New York, which is another reason I can't casually date him until I'm sure I won't be a bitch all over again. Gosh, if you want to meet or talk to a man with a true heart of gold and the chivalrous streak to match, email me and I will give you his email address as long as your name isn't "[email protected]" or "[email protected]" or "[email protected]" I know I'm being a brat being picky on his behalf...but he really deserves the best.

I am off to visit my great-grandmother tonight after work. I hope she's home, i just tried to call and there was no answer ... she's probably mad at me for not calling this weekend, but with the desk, and the birthday party, and Troy visiting Joseph, it's been hectic...gosh...more on those stories later! OH! and phyllis just got done hanging up on me from aol instant messenger after not getting a job and trying to get all whiny on me and I told her if she had as much faith in her personal deity as she says she does she would know that she would find the job that's right for her. So she hung up on me. Whatever *pfft*

More later, as usual.

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