April 14, 2000 ~ Friday
Strange things are happening. Marija, who I have been friends with since we worked together at the Munster Marathon (gas station) left me the most messed up message on my answering machine. The worst part is not that it's messed up, but that she called to bitch at me at 12:10am on a work night! I hate it when I tell people that if they really need to talk they can call me any time of the day or night, and then they go and abuse that by calling to be bitchy in the middle of the night. I'm really glad I was sleeping heavily enough that I didn't wake up, because I do not deal well with that kind of thing.
When I woke up, I picked up the phone and there was a message...I couldn't believe it cause I couldn't figure out who'd call in the middle of the night, and was really surprised that I didn't wake up. The phone usually gets me hopping out of bed and dashing to get it...In case someone had an accident or is in the hospital.
Following is an exact transcript of the phone message that was on my phone this morning....
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Date: Apr 14th
Time: 12:10am
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hey it�s me �um� I just wanna know �why everybody thinks �that um� what brian did to me was like�okay �how� people think im overreacting� or upset about no reason� how my best friend is still talking to him� how he is just getting away with whatever the hell he wants to do �I just� I just wanna know that I mean ..how come I�m getting no support in any of this how come when f***ing aj hits me, brian, my best friend of twelve years says well you know you pushed him or when I call you up and tell you what hes been doing to me you go and say he�s in a financial rut right now � I mean big f***in deal its like ive got no fucking friends all of a sudden. im overreacting with everything� it�s bullshit I don�t know why you talk to him. this is just bullshit.
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This had me a bit riled up. I couldn't believe someone would be coward enough to leave a message like that on my answering machine! And there were like five different issues she discussed...I drove to work thinking "How the hell am I supposed to deal with this?
Then I got to work, and checked my email, and lo and behold! What do I find? An email message from Marija. An exact copy of this message follows...
Subj: ..
Date: Fri, 14 Apr 2000 2:34:09 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: MARIJACROAT76
To: Dryads Solace
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ok, i was pretty upset when i gave you that message. chuckie told me you
called at his work today asking for brian. what gets me is that he is
telling everyone about how i am getting "too upset" about the rent situation.
he even told chuckies boss this. chuckie never talks about his personal
life to his boss and brian goes and tells Lee (the boss) but what he told lee
was that i was making a big deal out of nothing and of course he neglected to
tell lee that someone else moved in. so AS USUAL, he goes and tries to make
it look like he is the good guy in the whole situation. and i am tired of
it. and when i called you and you told me how much his is in a "financial
rut" and to not take it personally, well that kind of made me mad too. i
mean, i dont give a fuck about what rut he is in. he put himself in that
rut. and at the same time he was fucking me over and he feels no remorse for
it. he feels it is natural and there is nothing wrong. well, ok so think i
am a drama queen. he can go and fucking let everyone in the world know that
he is an angel and he does nothing wrong. well, i have known him for 12
years and i know how deceitful he is and he thinks i am naive about the whole
situation. well, i talked to the landlord and found out some very
interesting information. the fact is i feel that i have very little support
from you. you still contact him every day and this lets him know that its ok
for him to screw me over cuz he can still talk to you and let you know how
"he feels about everything", and how "he doesnt want to screw me over"
and he has good reasons not to tell me he didnt pay the electric bill and
made it $300 or that Verdice is living in the apt now. How do you know he
isnt lying? Oh, wait, why would he lie to you? Maybe, the same reason he
lies to me. Cuz either he dont give a shit, or he lies so much, he doesnt
know what the truth is anymore, or he knows you will talk to me eventually or
what the fuck ever. i am so hurt and upset at everyone and everything. and
of course i am going to take this personally. how can i not. how can anyone
not take this personally. should i expect 100% support from you or is there
now a conflict of interest cuz you talk to him everyday and he tells you
everything going on in his life. i'm not giving you an ultimatum. you do
what you want. i just want to know where you stand, so i can really know who
i can trust. cuz at this point, the foundation of one of my friendships with
someone i thought really cared about me and who i cared about crumbled. the
same friend who i said that he can live with me and chuckie for as long as he
needs it. the same friend who when i found out aj dumped him, i didnt go to
my night job, i immediately went over to the apt and brought him to me and
chuckies house. i'm just wondering what happens next. what the fuck is
going to happen next. am i still being a drama queen. good. cuz its about
time i fucking vent for a change. oh yeah, and the fact that you invited
brian to meet you family in vegas and not me, well, that hurt too. you
thought i wouldnt like to meet them. well, you thought brian was important
enuf for your family to meet him. and you said they are fucked up or
something well why did you spend a whole day with them if they are? maybe i
wouldnt have thought they were ok. am i still being a drama queen. good.
cuz its about time i fucking vent for a change. i'm going to let everyone
have it. this whole situation with brian has already put a strain on me and
chuckie. we already got into arguments about it. now, i just sit and end up
crying. do i deserve that? i guess i do if i am "making a big deal out of
nothing". if i am being selfish, let it be. its about time i do something
for myself. and i am not going to walked on by brian. this isnt over. so
the next time you talk to him, let him know how much i can overreact. i dont
care if he hates me or thinks i am a bitch. if you think i am a bitch right
now, well then kudos to all my wonderful friends
marija
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The most infuriating part of the email overall is the fact that she brings up so much crap, that there is no way I can deal with every issue she brings up without writing the next issue of War and Peace. There are contradictions, she is repeating herself, I don't know what to do. I think of a bunch of different ways to respond, and then it hits me, the part of the email that infuriated me SPECIFICALLY ~ she said I didn't invite her to meet my family. I invited her THREE times, and told her each time that we would ALL be going. That we'd make it a party to remember! I was really excited about it. Then Marija says "I have to talk to Chuckie" and never said anything else about it. NOT ONE WORD. I thought she was ditching my family because she couldn't handle seeing my sixteen year old little sister seven months pregnant. I was trying to make it easy on her by not asking her over and over and begging her to come when I knew that she didn't want to. She never ONCE said she thought that sounded cool. Or that it sounded fun.
Besides, it's easy for her to say that now, in retrospect, when at the time if i'd asked her right before we left, point blank, she wouldn't have wanted to leave the slot machines anyway.
I don't want to go into any more of the Vegas thing anyway. All I can say is that the whole Marija/Brian issue is not my issue. Of couse I talk to Brian. It's boring here at work sometimes. I don't see busy little Marija calling me. She didn't when she only worked one job, so that's no excuse. SHE NEVER CALLS ME. What kind of a best friend is that? You don't talk for a month and then call them yelling and crying in the middle of the night then you try and help them and they leave nasty messages on your voicemail and on your email.
I don't treat my friends like that. Marija knows this, because I treat her with respect and try and give her my HONEST opinions when she asks me. What kind of a friend would I be if I just told her what she wanted to hear??? But obviously that's what she wants or she wouldn't be going off on me for telling her what I thought was best. I mean, I barely even remember the phone conversation we had. IT WAS TWO IN THE MORNING! I was just trying to listen and let her know that I cared about her problem. Obviously that wasn't good enough.
Marija, I don't care what happens between you and Brian. It's none of my business. I don't know who the hell Verdice is or how long she's been living there *exactly* or how much money she's paid in rent *exactly* how the hell should I know? It seems like from one side you're trying to get me to not talk to Brian anymore, but at the same time, since you know I do talk to him you try and get me to tell you everything he says. Pick one. What you are doing is two faced.
I was not treated the way you treat a friend. You did not respect me by calling me at midnight, and surely not by that ranting email you sent me. I try my best to be honest and straightforward with you. Then you set it up so any way I try and defend myself I'm screwed.
You set up, with that phone call and email, a situation that I had no idea existed and you dragged me into the middle of something I don't want to be a part of. Asking me questions that no matter how I answer them it's going to be twisted into the wrong answer.
I'm here for ya. I always will be. But if you think that I'm not your friend, I'm not going to kiss your ass trying to convince you otherwise. That's not who I am, Marija, you should know that...and if you don't know what kind of person I am, were we ever really friends to begin with, or am I just your last resort who you call when no one else is available?
~Jennifer
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