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Song 1:

Sailor Senshi Hoedown
A l< "Hoedown" from Whose Line is it Anyway?
Spoof by JoAnne Shweid

Moon:
Being a Senshi really changed my life
Talking cats and powers coming from moonlight
But the moonlight lately made me a little crazed
'Cause last week I jumped into bed and I made love to Rei

(all senshi gasp in shock, and mutter until next verse)

Mars:
Being a Senshi; boy I'd rather not
Be talking about last night; it was really hot
Usagi, don't say a word, or I'l blast you with my fire

Moon: Too late, Rei-chan, 'cause I just called the National Enquirer!

(Mars screams "NOO!" and throttles Moon, everyone gets agitated)

Jupiter:
I'm a Sailor Senshi and it ain't that bad
When monsters come a crawlin' I really whip their ass
Supremu shunda, (supreme thunder) watch them demons fly

Except for that one yoma who looked liked my sempai!

(senshi groan, "not again, etc, get a life, Mako-chan, etc)

Venus:
Yes, I'm a Sailor, the first Sailor Senshi
I wore a mask and blue high heels, I was Sailor V!
Now all people know me from all around the world
With this cute butt and face I am so merchandisable!

(Moon mutters, "show-off!" Venus says, "You're just jealous!" tongue war starts, Neptune breaks them up)

Neptune:
I'm a Sailor Senshi, and it's a real treat
Being the mature one, they all look up to me
Multi-talent lesbian with coquettish charms
But there is just one problem; Haruka, I wrecked the car!

(Uranus shouts, "You did what!?" Neptune says sorry, Uranus looks really annoyed)

Uranus:
Boy, Sailor Neptune, this I can't believe
First the transmission, now the whole machine
Give me one good reason not to call the feds

Neptune:
I give you five good reasons, dear, tonight when we're in bed

Seiya:
Yes, I am a Sailor and an idol star
Fans with their love letters coming near and far
Girls swoon in my presence, boy it gives me kicks!

Taiki:
Except your fuku makes you look like a dominatrix!

(all senshi stiffle laughs and Seiya throttles Taiki. Taiki coughs and continues)

Taiki:
Well now this hoedown must come to and end
We've given you a lot of laughs, and we all must send
A grand farewell to all of you, support Takeuchi
Our great Naoko-sama, and screw DIC!

All Senshi in harmony:
SCREW DIC!!

_________________________________________

Telemoon
A l< "To the Moon and Back"
Spoof by Kou

They're taking the time
"Making up" in subspace
To justify all the powers inside
Guess they know
From the grin and the glint in their eyes
Everyone's got a theory of the sailor ones

(Bridge)
They're sayin'
Baddies never loved them much
Queen S. dun keep in touch
Don't make much sense but hey what else can I say
Gonna go to a quiet place
Get ready for the head rush pace
And now they hold their hands and start to glow eerily

(And they're going to...)

(Chorus)
They're gonna-
Teleport onto the moon and back
If they can, or they cannot make it
Gonna take it to the series I favor most
If they cannot make it back

They can't remember the time
When Moon Kingdom's reign ended
If they were right
Then they were under blinds
All their friends
Got attacked by youmas
And things that were never defined

They're sayin'
"This is like a barren place."
"Do you think that we'll be safe now?"
"Is like a journey but I wanna go home -- damn!"
"Come on, it's what we have to do..."
"Better join or I'll kick you, too."
They give the signal and they start to fly themselves to the stars

(An unpleasant dream...)

(Chorus x2)
(Bridge)
(Chorus x2)

_________________________________________

Sailor Senshi
A l< "Hero" by Miss Papaya
Spoof by Kou

In the middle of a fight
The senshi comes to rescue
I want to know who they really are
Sou ka, ne?
The youma's waiting right there
Just for me - only for me

But at the break of good
They are gone
Their duty's carried them away
I'd like to comment on their suits
How do they fit - somehow?

Oh Sailor Senshi
We love you
And all we want to know
Is if you'll be there too
Oh Sailor Senshi
We like you
Oh won't you save us today and make our dreams come true

A la di da da
Our Sailor Senshi
A la di da da
Oh oh oh
A la di da da
Our Sailor Senshi
A la di da da
Oh oh oh

Aren't they really outta sight!
'Cause they will come and save me
I can tell - Unless they tripped and fell
I don't know
If they can her me praising
Thank you, girls - Thank you, girls

But at the break of good
They are gone
Their duty's carried them away
I'd like to comment on their suits
How do they fit - somehow?

Oh Sailor Senshi
We love you
And all we want to know
Is if you'll be there too
Oh Sailor Senshi
We like you
Oh won't you save us today and make our dreams come true

A la di da da
Our Sailor Senshi
A la di da da
Oh oh oh
A la di da da
Our Sailor Senshi
A la di da da
Oh oh oh

_________________________________________

"Serena's Isle"
A l< The Gilligan's Island theme
Spoof by [email protected]

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale from the writer's crypt.
That started oh, 3 hours ago,
Because we lost the script...

The Mate was a mighty ditzy lass,
The skipper tall and dark.
Five Sailor girls set sail that day,
for a two-season lark..A two-season lark.

The villians started getting rough,
From the negaverse they were tossed,
If not for the courage of the Sailor Scouts,
The universe would be lost..The universe would be lost.

Two cats set ground on the shore of this,
Char-ted Pa-cif-ic isle... ((Japan))

(Porthole scenes)

With Se-re-na! <Serena saluting in a white bucket hat, brim down, Luna under her>
The Skipper too.. <Darien donning captain's hat>
The Billionaire, <Chad trying to clean the porthole>
And his Wife... <Raye pushes Chad aside and points out there's no glass>
The movie star! <Mina with Artemis, winking and blowing kisses>
The Professor, <Ami studying a book made from palm leaves>
And Mary-Anne! <Lita in two pig-tails giving the peace sign>

Here on Ser-ee-na's Isle!

(As end credits role)

So this is a tale about Sailor Scouts,
They're here for as long as they thrive...
They've got three seasons left to go,
But we'll never see to five.

The First Mate and her Skipper too,
Will do their very best,
To make it to a future time,
And start a family nest.

Miss dubs!
Cut scenes!
Lost episodes!
We'll all know soon enough,
Just what DIC has in store for us...?
Adaptation sure is rough!

So join us here each day my friends,
You're sure to get a smile.
With six-or-so heroic-types,
Here on Serena's Isle!

_________________________________________

"The Real Sailor Senshi"
A l< The Real Slim Shady by Eminem
Spoof by Lynx_13

Luna: May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real sailor senshi please stand up?
I repeat, will the real sailor senshi please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here...

Uranus: You all act like you've never seen a sailor senshi before
Jaws drop on the floor like Queen Beryl just burst in the door
Yeah, you thought you were the only senshi before
there were five, now there's more
But we're not your friends no more!
Neptune: We're your enemies, too-
Jupiter: Oh wait, no way, you're kidding
She didn't really mean what I thought she said, did she?
Moon: And the sacred fire says:
Mars: Nothing, you bakas, I can't get a reading! I don't know who these people are!
Venus: Let's go to the arcade then! Come on, come on, come on, I met this guy there, I liked him, you should have seen him, walkin around with this blue-haired girl, rides a motorcycle, too, yeah, he was really cute, though
Mercury: Yeah, I think you've got a couple of screws up in your head loose
Cause that 'guy' was a girl! They're cousins! (The dubbers want you to think so...)
Moon: Sometimes, I want to kick back and just let loose, but can't cause now these Deathbusters are all on the loose
Neptune: We need to find pure hearts, we need to find pure hearts
Because of this Holy Grail, we just have to make it ours
We have to beat the Deathbusters to finding the three parts
And expect you not to interfere, you'll only make it hard!
Uranus: Of course we're going to sacrifice three people!
To save the rest of the world, what else are we supposed to do?
Mars: They ain't nothing but vultures! Hanging over us like that,
just waiting til they can steal someone's heart crystal
Jupiter: But if they're trying to save the world like they say they are
They have a funny way of doing it, no better than a Deathbuster!
Moon: But if you feel like I feel we should give them a chance
They did give me my life back, sing the chorus, they'll be back!

*CHORUS*

We're the sailor senshi, yes, we're the real senshi
All you other sailor senshi are just imatating
So won't the real sailor senshi
Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

Venus: Haruka and Michiru are the outers! I don't believe it!
Moon: Well, I do! I'm suspicious of those two!
Uranus: You think you inners really concern me?
I'll take your leader's brooch so none of you can follow me!
Neptune: But Uranus, what about Eudial? Do you think it's a trap?
Uranus: Yeah, I think she'll just lie to get us here, but if the Grail is here, then we're getting near
Neptune: If only we knew what was going to happen here....
Being shot at with dart guns and getting our hearts ripped out
You know you have to give it up, there isn't any doubt
Jupiter: Inners to the rescue! Take action on this tragic scene!
Mercury: And now Sailorpluto, what is all this supposed to mean?
Mars: Here we go, Sailormoon, battle Eudial for the Grail
She'll win, Uranus and Neptune are alive-Ahhhhhhh!
Pluto: Sure Sailormoon can battle with the Grail's power, but she's not our Messiah,
We'd better find one if we're going to survive this!
Moon: Maybe now the outers will work with me, not be enemies, a two-sided war instead of three-
they gave the Grail to me, with Messiahs they seem to be
authorities, but all they see, is it's not me!

*CHORUS*

Moon: Just one more for us to introduce:
Sweet innocent Hotaru who becomes friends with bratty Chibi-Usa
Pluto: The only problem is she's the Messiah of Silence the outers want to kill her, but the inners won't go for that at all
Moon: Inners busy with twin witches, outers checking out Mugen
Chibi's heart crystal stolen by Deathbusters to awaken Mistress9, you think we can defeat her in time?
Pluto: The outers, midair in a chopper, it's about to blow up
I'll stop time to save you two, hey, don't I even get a 'thank-you'?
Hotaru: Inners fighting demons, Sailormoon captured by Mistress9 to get the Grail from her, the outers just in time to stop her
Uranus: Sailormoon is too soft to let the innocent die
She won't let us harm little Hotaru who is still inside
Neptune: So we watch as Saturn emerges from Mistress9
And those two go in to defeat Pharoah90
Mercury: So will the real senshi please stand up
Mars: Outers are gone, Hotaru's not grown up
Jupiter: But be proud that you've saved the Earth and your universe, too
Venus: So one more time, loud as you can, loud as it goes!

*CHORUS*

Luna: Ha ha, I guess there's a senshi in all of us
Let's all stand up

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