11/4/2006 Jealousy

This feeling will poison a human, if you want to possess something or someone, you will be disappointed someday, sooner or later, cuz you can never possess everything in the world, so why dont you learn to be contented? A lady bird told me a very good analogy of relationship - it's just like flying a kite, too tense, it may break; loose a little bit, the kite may fly even higher...

12/4/2006 Days of sorrow begin

Tonight, during practice of catching overhead flyball, when I ran backward and jumped to try to catch the fly ball…it's perfectly alright until I landed and walked few steps, I found my left forefoot very painful, I sat aside and tightened the shoelace…after about 30 mins, then the field practice ended, A teammate helped me to get some ice and after the batting excercise finished about 1 hr later, I was allowed to go. I was so grateful that a teammate volunteered to take me home, and let me lean on her shoulder. She accompanied me home until I reached my flat. I never expect anyone in the team will do that for me. And my pride and my shy character would not prompt me to ask for any help. But her help comes in the right time. I saw her not a teammate now, but a friend.

13/4/2006 Implication of the injury

A friend came and visited me after my injury, she dragged me to AED for consultation [ cuz one of her friends once had delayed xray showing fracture which resulted in chronic pain] . When she's helping me to walk thru the short yet seemingly very long corridor, seeing me panting for breathe, she offered," perhaps let me carry u on my back", I felt so touched.
In the AED, felt a bit wired, since I accompanied 2 teammates to AED few months ago for facial injury, this time is my turn, only that I am not in the baseball uniform.
Xray showed no fracture but a widened space between 1st and 2nd metatarsal. The SMO said if u need a good functional recovery, In some western countries, screws will be needed to stablise the area. This almost threatened me, I never have the concept that I cant recover fully...

After coming out from the ortho OPD consultation room, it's nice to have both best friends alongside when I need help: helped me put on and off the shoes, wheelchaired me anywhere in the hospital, take me to and from the hospital…I know it's my blessing to have such loyal friends. Despite how stupid I looked- with walking frame and square-patterned loose trousers- they did not abandant me. Anyway, life is better if we have friends around.

There are 2 lessons I learned:
1) it reminds me 3 yrs ago when I suffered from SARS…that time I planned a lot of things ahead and actually things were out of my control after the illness. I do plan a lot before this injury, I tried my best to swap calls so that I can join the festival semifinal of the softball league, I plan to have relaxing holidays or go to mainland for a short trip.
So practically can I say : I have not grown up since the SARS illness… In fact I am getting more and more ambitious instead of seeing the importance of eternity... think it's a good time for me to review what I should have learned 3years ago.

2) The importance of health. I forgot to thank God every morning, for I am healthy, I can breathe, I can walk with my legs...I take all these for granted but forgot that it's a precious gift that God give me everyday.

13/4/2006- 27/4/2006 Limping days, I wanna run, I wanna jump

The long vacation - kinda buzy, buzy with ice therapy, buzy with physiotherapy... I wanna recover as soon as possible, yet this is out of my control.

Really miss the feeling of running and jumping... frustration of poor recovery makes my days low, with all the help and love from friends, it do help me to pass through this low tide.

28/4/2006 Encouraging words

An extract from correspondance with a friend as well as being like a tutor to me in life:

" In whatever you do (career or sports), do it for God. Just like in "Chariots of Fire", the runner ran for God, and stopped running for God (on Sundays) too.
God's plans are the best for us (even though we may not recognise at the moment), and He will lead the way. "

Definitely I am not talented as the athelete in the film, but the words really help me to let go of the long recovery time cuz it does remind me that everything is under the Almighty's control