The Drunken Pirates
THE DRUNKEN PIRATES WAS.....(IN VARIOUS JAMS THROUGHOUT ABOUT 4 MONTHS)
CAPTAIN MORGAN - Rhythm & Lead GUITAR (FOUNDER)
JIM RUMMY - Rhythm & Lead GUITAR (FOUNDER)
HILLBILLY - 45 year old fat, burnt out acid head, prison bitch, rapist, classic rock, drummer. lived in weed & porn apartment. fat piece of shit. collected welfare, yet still had caller id to dodge practice. called him from a pay phone, he picked the phone right up. had greasy hillbilly friends that looked exactly like deliverence film. His only values were that you NEVER STOP on a cover song, & that some band in the 70's he toured the country with, slipped him acid, and stole his bass drum. He said in a hillbilly voice, "boys we're gonna be rock stars, but if you ever slip me acid & steal my bass drum, that's the only way I quit a band." Had a lunch box, & Milk Jug for his watering hole that was a 10 year old milkjug he acted like was super important. got super bent out of shape if you touched his milkjug the wrong way. Jim Rummy didn't know an AC / DC song all the way, and stopped. 2 weeks later we found out HILLBILLY QUIT, because JIM RUMMY STOPPED ON THE SONG ONE DAY W/ EVEN THINKING OR REALISING IT.
GOTH BILLY - jewish metal head w/ long 80's crimped hair, round pot belly, black gothic clothes, goth boots, bad bass player & horrible audio tech major. told us many a crazy prison story about HILLBILLY.
TRAVIS - greatest vocalist in the world from philly, shaved head, bouncer, tattoos, sung in the shower, (punches walls & cars in bouts of rage that come from nowhere) - Never became official member of the band yet, Band had already Broken up & He left for Philly the day he was maybe going to join.
John Stewart - 40 year old clone, drummer, recording equipment. Jammed only 1 day, messed up Black Sabbath Paranoid, said he had been playing drums for 20 years. - Never became official member of the band yet. - Never became official member of the band yet, Band had already Broken up
8/03/06 The Drunken Pirates really did exist. In August of 2000, in B-town a very special thing happened at a Stake N' Shake after dark & The Drunken Pirates became official. Well the real special thing happened a few weeks earlier, when Rummy basically came up with this vision for the band, and to make some insane slaying heavy metal with insane over the top image, but Captain Morgan was too jacked up for words to do anything the right way. Jim Rummy & Captain Morgan the duel lead guitarists & co-founders had jammed a few times previously to this date. They both enjoyed & jammed on some old school metal such as Black Sabbath, Ozzy, Metallica, Megadeth, Mercyful Fate, & Iron Maiden. They decided to try and find a bassist. Goth Billy was auditioned & recruited first. At first glance it seemed like he was willing to show up for practice, and knew the basslines to Iron Maiden's The Trooper pretty alright. Goth Billy knew Hillbilly, this stinky piece of garbage, excellent classic drummer, piece of shit prison inmate, and he was recruited under the supervision of Captain Morgan. Rummy didn't even know about this recruitment, therefore had no say in the matter, but by the next practice was persuaded into carrying this fat piece of shits bass drum, milk jug, and lunch box, up and down flights of stairs from his shitty weed reiking apt, to car, from car, down more stairs to practice room, then repeat later. Now from practice one, common sense told Rummy that this hillbilly drummer was a 45 yr. old piece of shit. This guy was so fucking wierd, mentally gone, and trashy it is almost beyond words. I've never seen or met another straight from beyond the Deliverence film since, before or after. The Drunken Pirates jammed in hillbilly storage sheds in the stix at midnight in the fall air, as more hillbilly's came to watch our practice. One guy walked into the storage shed one night, looking exactly like Crocodile Dundee, and sat on this couch in the shed, and just stared us down all night, shaking his head in approval. Next, we recruited this guy from Philly on lead vox. He was simply amazing, no other vocalist i've ever met to date compares to the talent this man had, he could mimick Priest, Dio, Dickenson, Ozzy vox perfectly but from second 1, he had some major major issues, as did Captain Morgan, & the Hillbilly likewise. I barely even met this guy, and from second one he was going off about something, punching walls, punching Morgan's car, fighting with himself and cursing into the night firecly. This quick Hillbilly quit the band, because he was too lazy to show up to practice. Instead he'd rather collect welfare, then use his money to buy porn, spam, soup & milk for dinner, smoke weed, yet he had a caller ID on his phone. He said he quit the band officially because Rummy stopped playing on an AC DC song in the storage shed a few weeks previous. Not that Rummy cared, he was extremely glad. Mr. insane "wall punching" for no apparent reason Vocalist quit, was gone and moved back to Philly within days, after he barely even auditioned, and already had a new vision for the band name, OMNIMORPH, which Rummy thought was insanely gay, Captain Morgan seemed willing to change it however, and The Drunken Pirates, under Captain Morgans insane shenanigan direction listened to Goth Billy, who couldn't play bass worth a shit by the way, and was the worst audio tech / sound engineer, Rummy had ever witnessed, decided to recruit Jon Stewart on drums. This other 40 year old grey haired engineer bachelor turned artist was trying to find himself in life living in a house himself with a cat and some paintings. Now he said he had been playing the skins for 25 + years, but on a Paranoid jam by Black Sabbath, the easiest song known to man, he seemed to fumble quite firecely, and looked like that of a beginner. Apparently he had some nice recording equipment however. From day one he showed us a Soundgarden cd, and he and goth billy both agreed that the drunken pirates should now go in the musical direction of Soundgarden, and should sound exactly like Soundgarden. Captain Morgan thought about it for a couple of seconds and basically agreed. The Drunken Pirates recorded very shantily clad under the direction of audio tech Goth Billy in one studio in the fall of 2000 on one all nighter, and recorded their very first original song (suprisingly wrote only by Captain Morgan the band dictator) on a 4-track over in Goth Billy's apartment with his black metal shrines, pills, cases of Jolt cola. Soon after Captain Morgan and Jim Rummy had a falling out due to numerous internal and external band issues. The Drunken Pirates were officially broken up by Jan of 2001. It would of been the best band in the history of earth but...............................................................these bunch of piece of shit scumbags had absolutely 0 clue, & 0 business skills to keep anything together. If we had a manager we problably would have made it, because we were scummy enough to draw a ship of fools.
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Edward Teach, aka Blackbeard
