Those of you who know me well know that I can not stand the eyeball. You all love to tease me by rubbing your eye, touching your eye, putting your contacts in, or turning your eyelids inside out. And then you all amusingly watch me gag afterwards. Maybe you all just still don't understand: i hate the eye. it is disgusting.Sure, I am very thankful that God gave us all two eyes to see all that He has made for us, but do we really need to even think beyond that? Okay, maybe some of you do, but not me! Why? Well, I haven't been quite sure why I freak out so much every time someone takes their contacts out or itches their eye, but the more I got to thinking about it, the more I understood. . . . .
I was sitting around the dinner table with my father. I was oh, I'd say around 5 years old. My brother was asleep, my mom was at work. (At that time, she worked at night a few times a week.) So it's just me and my dad, eating our dinner, which included a salad. I did not care for salad at the time (I was a very picky eater, and that trait still hasn't left me to this day), and I think I was eating macaroni or something like that. Whatever it was, it does not really matter. What matters is that my dad was eating salad. And my dad likes salad dressing on his salad. Italian dressing.Of course everyone knows you have to shake italian dressing to get it mixed up and to have the right flavor on your salad. So my dad starts shaking the dressing. He was shaking it horizontally, by the way. Not vertically, like a normal person. My dad and I were having a conversation, so naturally I was giving him EYE contact. So, my dad is shaking this dressing, with the top on of course, because no one is that stupid, and all of a sudden I hear this *POP*. The next thing I know I feel a burning pain in my eye, and I am screaming. What happened, you ask? The top of the salad dressing popped off, zinging behind me, and a stream of salad dressing from the bottle went zooming across the table, aiming right for my eye. And whaddya know, it didn't miss! So all I remember after that is my dad carrying me to the bathroom, and hanging me over the bathtub with rushing water that sounded like NIAGRA FALLS at the time, telling me to keep my eye open so all the italian dressing will flush out. Ew. . . . that was traumatizing.
You're probably thinking, "yeah, so what, ya got some salad dressing in your eye. It may have been a freak accident, but so what, it could have happend to anyone!" Well, let me tell you, it was a very traumatizing experience! To this day, I still scream whenever I see salad dressing on the shelf in the grocery store. Okay, not really. But it did take a few months before I trusted my father with an italian salad dressing bottle.
Well, I still have one more eye story! I had to flush BOTH my eyes out this time. And it isn't my dad's fault this time, it's my BROTHER'S!
It was a nice day out. A little dreary. But not too bad. I think I was seven or eight, and my brother was two or three. We were playing in the sandbox, having fun, even getting along! David, my little sibling, just had to throw some sand. Two fistfuls, into my eyes! I don't remember this incident as well as the whole salad dressing episode, but I do remember some. I don't remember running into the house, but I remember screaming, and more Niagra Falls. Ooh, and my brother got in such big trouble. But I actually felt bad for him, and remember through the water, sand, and tears, telling my mom not to yell at him because I didn't think he knew any better. I mean, he was only two! So the sand did eventually get out, but I remember that hurt really bad, and my dad got rid of the sandbox after that!
So there you have it. Now maybe you will understand why I don't like eyes. Maybe that isn't even the reason. Maybe it is just the fact that I don't like the human anatomy. Maybe my whole family has a conspiracy against me. Maybe my mom will be next! Ahhh! (Oh yeah, and I have had LOTS of bugs just fly right into my eyes, and my dad having to get them out with a Q-tip. Talk about a disgusting feeling!) I'm sorry if you didn't find this interesting enough to read, but I warned you!
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