president

Mike Schwab For President

We need a good candidate. One who is the smartest guy I know. One who totally rules. One who is the best. One who is the man. One who could whip Aquaman's ass. All these qualities can be found in only one man: Mike Schwab. This is why I feel he should be president. He says he doesn't know if he would make a good president because he doesn't know if he would want the responsibility. Deep down inside, he knows that he is the right candidate for the President of our country. I feel confident that if he were elected, he would not force the American people into slavery in order to build him a giant statue or tomb.

A picture of Mike Schwab at his home in Florida.

Here's why he should be President:

He has done a lot for our country. Here is Schwab training dolphins. Everyone likes dolphins because they're so cute. They can almost talk. AWWWW. One time he rescued one from a driftnet.

He was an astronaut. His many space explorations led to the creation of new technology in scape weaponry and the development of ways to clone monkeys.

He draws sharks on chalkboards for fun.

Here is a picture of him during his Red beret days. He was stationed inside a park in Canada, where his main duties included attacking mohawked punks who frequented the park wearing only underwear. He earned a medal for most punks attacked in a 12 month period.

President Bush waves at him frequently. (This picture was taken with candidate Schwab's camera.)

Here is a picture of Mr. Schwab dressed up in a tiger outfit and waving at the New York Stock Exchange Traders. Even though it says Kelloggs behind him, Kelloggs did not sponsor the event. Schwabb made them put up a poster behind him that says "Kellogg's" on it, because he likes that word.

Mike Schwab is an expert at technology. He was asked by Congress to come to Washington to do political business, and he didn't want to shave off his beard or take off his "shark huntin hat", so, he created a robotic exoskeleton to wear to Washington. When he has this on, he likes like your normal politician. The only way to tell it is Mike Schwab is when he fires his lasers. (Normal politicians have no lasers). Here are some pictures of him in Washington.

Here is a picture of Schwab (on the left), after he decided to go with exoskeleton head # 2, feeling it had a more "convincing political look." After his meeting he went to an old folks home and taught this unidentified man how to do the "Robot" during an unscheduled dance session.

Here he is on the day he arrived in Washington shaking hands with president Bush. They had just discussed matters including the technology needed to create robot monkeys.

Here he is (on left), telling a hilarious joke about foreign policy and robots.

Here he is (on left). laughing as some crazy old man tries to "raise the roof". Schwab then decided the crazy old man must be a Russian spy and shot him.

Here he is, (on left), calmly firing his laser at a robotic senator who attempted his assassination. He remained calm through the whole situation, and kept shaking hands with an old man who was visibly shaken from the attack.

Here he is, (on left), shaking hands with a foreign diplomat, while he fires his laser at someone who was trying to attack the foreign leader. He was given a bravery medal from the foreign man's country for saving the diplomat's life.

Here he is showing off his fireball power to a session of Congress, after they called him a wuss. Once he brought out the fireball, all members of Congress shut their whiny mouths, in fear that Schwab would beat the hell out of them.

This is his girlfriend, Maggie. She would be the first lady. She is very professional. She likes pink.

This is his cat, Whiskerpuff. This would be the presidential cat. AWWWW his cat likes soup!

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