House: The Legendary Journeys

-Ch 1-

Gregory House scowled darkly at the figure standing in front of his worktable, envisioning fireballs engulfing Lisa Cuddy. The High Priestess of one of the most renowned healing temples ever constructed in the name of the Goddess had called him in, again, for the sole purpose of yelling at him.

Not that it particularly upset him. While he was technically a servant of the Goddess, and therefore a servant of Lisa Cuddy, he felt little need to bow and scrape in her presence. He preferred non-magical healing despite the fact that he came from a long line of magical healers. He had abandoned the arts when a simple spell to heal his broken leg had misfired, leaving him crippled, and deeply skeptical of most magic users.

He was jolted out of his musings by the sound of Cuddy slamming her hand on the table, hoping to get his attention.

"House! Are you even listening?"

"No."

Cuddy sighed. "It doesn't even matter if you are. As many times as we have had this conversation you should have it memorized."

"Wait, is this the 'I'm madly in love with you' speech or the 'you've been neglecting your duties again' speech?"

"House, whether you like it or not you are a servant of The Goddess. It is your job to help those who come to the temple seeking our help! If you choose to do so by flesh and blood means, than so be it. But one way or another you have to be in the healing chambers at the appointed time!"

House glared, while still managing to keep his carefully honed appearance of lazy apathy. "The people in there are idiots. Half the time it's a splinter, and the other half it's a wart someone tried to remove with a dead cat. A two year old with fairy dust could do my job out there."

"Well then maybe if you would stop acting like a two year old you wouldn't be in there as much!" Cuddy barked, her eyes flashing with the power of the Goddess she served. "You're going and that's final."

House ground his teeth. "Yes, Mistress."

"Good. Now I've arranged for some young healers of various sorts to come join the temple. Meet with them and pick out three you want to work with you."

"What?!"

"Since you choose not to use magic you must have magic users at hand for our patrons who can't be treated mundanely. Some of the best and brightest healers from across the empire are in the healing chambers, practically wetting themselves at the prospect of working for you, Goddess help them." Cuddy mumbled the last part to herself.

"But I don't play well with others." House argued in a mock whine.

"You don't have a choice in this either, House! Pick a team!" Cuddy said sternly before turning and leaving.

House glared at her back considering going back to magic if only to throw a fireball at her head. The thought of Cuddy running out of the temple, hair ablaze, warmed his heart.

-Ch 2-

House poked his head into the office of his best friend, and fellow healer, James Wilson. He wrinkled his nose at the heavy smell of drying herbs. Like himself, Wilson preferred more earthy methods of healing. He, however, was not so hesitant about using magic when the need arose.

"Hey! Wilson, come on. I need your help."

Wilson looked up from his smoking cauldron. His shirtsleeves were rolled up and his arms wrapped around a giggling apprentice as they stirred the boiling potion.

House rolled his eyes.

"The Mistress of Pain has ordered me to hire minions. I'm not suffering though the idiots alone. You, you lucky soul, get to help me weed though the morons who couldn't even do a card trick, and try to find some at least half decent magic users, if there is such a thing." House turned to the embarrassed young woman. "I assume you can finish up on your own?" He spun on his heel, and limped out.

Wilson sighed and followed House out of the office, shooting an apologetic smile to his young apprentice.

"You do realize that I'm a magic user don't you?"

House smirked. "Duh. Come on."

They walked down the hall in companionable silence, for a brief moment.

"So who's that? The next former Mrs. Wilson?"

"What?! No! She's just my apprentice!"

"Suuure." House snickered, earning a glare from his friend. The healers at the temple, unlike the servants of some of the other Gods had none of the harsher restrictions against fraternization among the healers, something Wilson took advantage of.

"Watch it buddy or I might accidentally turn you into a toad!"

".... That'd get me out of healing duty! Quick! Do it! Do it!" House chanted, grinning.

Wilson rolled his eyes sighing. "Stop tempting me..." He held open the curtain to the healing chambers, bracing himself against the wave of chaos that hit them. He sketched a quick bow to House, smirking. "After you."

-Ch 3-

House's glare was darker than ever. For the last 20 minutes he'd had to deal with one idiot after another, each more stupid then the last, all trying to pass them selves off as healers. They were stumbling over themselves for a chance to kiss his ass, and most of them were depressingly inept.

He glanced over the last three papers in his hand. He was quickly running out of prospects.

Eric Foreman, Human. Trained in mundane healing techniques. After being sentenced to a temple as kid, when he was caught stealing. Interesting. A thief would be useful. Some small magical talent as well.

Allison Cameron, Faerie. Specializes in magical healing techniques. Raised and taught magical healing among her people before recently choosing to venture out to the human world. Faeries rarely lowered themselves to consorting with humans. He wondered what her motivation was.

Robert Chase: emergency, mundane procedures, frequently surgery. Born and raised in a distant land. House frowned at the lack of any other information on the guy.

He looked up, his eyes, scanning over the room, trying to guess which of the simpering suck-ups they were.

Instead his eyes were drawn to two young people working in tandem, almost dancing around each other, while treating, and sending on their way, injured and sick people.

He slowly raised an eyebrow and looked down at the paper. No. Maybe? Cameron and...Chase possibly?

He poked Wilson in the side and pointed out the two young healers. "What do you think or them?"

"Hmm?" Wilson studied them for a minute then looked impressed. "They're good." He gestured towards the dark skinned man. "He's obviously an expert at mundane healing." He turned his attention to the petite brunette. "And she looks fairly expert at magically healing." He squinted for a moment. "Looks like...Fae magic."

"Hmph. Seems Cuddy hasn't sent me a whole herd of losers." House said handing over the papers for Wilson to read.

"Huh. So who do you think the man is? Foreman or Chase?"

"Dunno. He look like a surgeon to you?"

Wilson tilted his head continuing to watch the two work.

House made up his mind quickly and stomped over to where the two were just sending off their latest patient. "You two! You're hired."

They looked up, wide-eyed, as a grizzled, cane wielding man in a long ragged coat advanced on them. The man recovered a split second before his partner "...what?"

House rolled his eyes. "You are here for the interview to work for Gregory House correct? Congratulations." He looked at the nameplates pinned to their uniform black outfits. They were already dressed in the standard sleeveless robes worn by the healers in all of the Goddess' temples. "Foreman, Cameron: You're in. For being the least incompetent."

Foreman startled to bristle, and Cameron looked like a kicked puppy, but House was distracted and took no notice.

He pushed past them, making his way to a corner of the large hall. He looked disbelievingly at the swishing tail of a palomino stallion standing in the healing chambers. The horse was halfway into an alcove reserved for patrons with emergencies, his hindquarters sticking out from behind the curtains. The other healers were simply walking around it.

"Alright! Who let the livestock in here?! How many times to I have to tell you morons no animals in the healing chambers?! It's called sanitation people!"

House smacked the horse's rump with his can in an attempt to get it to move.

The animal startled, dancing away from the cane with a nervous nicker. However it soon calmed, seemingly content to ignore the continuing annoyance of trying to be displaced.

House snarled and yanked back the curtain. He was a healer, not a stable boy! It was not his job to herd animals.

He blinked as, instead of a dumb animal stare, he saw a tanned torso and upper body of a man. His black vest was smeared with blood and he was up to his elbows in the gore of the patient on the table.

He shook him self out of his thoughts and glared at the centaur. "Who are you and what the hell are you doing?!"

"Saving this man's life. Now would you kindly get out of my light?" The centaur said in a sharp clipped, strangely accented, tone.

House narrowed his eyes. "Robert Chase?"

"Yes. And if you're going to stand there and gawk would you as least help? I need someone to keep this blood out of my way." Chase snapped, not looking away from quickly sewing back together his patient's innards.

House slowly smirked then called over his shoulder. "Hey! Minions! Get in here and help your new team mate."

"Congratulations." He patted the centaur on his blond flank. "You're hired."

-Ch 4-

Foreman and Cameron frowned down at the hastily scrawled map House had drawn up for them, directing them to their rooms. They looked up at the large wooden door in front of them.

"You think this is it?" Cameron asked uncertainly.

"Only one way to find out." Foreman answered, pushing open the door. They stepped into a large common room, taking in their surroundings. It was obviously meant to be their quarters. Their trunks were stacked up near the door.

The room itself was one large, long room. At one end was a collection of couches grouped around a fire pit and a stone stairway hugged the wall. A round wood table dominated the middle of the room, and an open, indoor courtyard stood at the other end.

There was a flash of movement in the courtyard and the two healers went to investigate. They had to cover their mouths to keep from laughing when they saw their teammate rolling in the lush grass. Chase froze when he saw them, quickly climbing to his feet and shaking out his coat. He coughed and dusted grass clippings off his vest. "Erm. Hi."

"Hi."

"Hi."

The three young healers looked at each other nervously, each waiting for the one of the others to break the uncomfortable silence.

Cameron was the first to speak up. "I- umm. Well apparently we're all going to be working together so we might as well get to know each other. I'm Allison Cameron. I'm a Faerie. I've been trained in magical healing since I was a child. It's what I always knew I was born to do. Help others."

Chase raised an eyebrow. "You're a pixie? Somehow...I pictured something...smaller. With wings."

She gave him a sharp glare and he danced backwards nervously. "I am not a pixie! I'm a Faerie. A magical being. but I am not a small, winged, giggling, pixie dust spreading, fairy! There's a difference! How would you like to be called a pretty pony?!"

Chase held his hands up in front of him. "Goddess! No harm meant! It's only what I'd heard! I've never actually met a...fae in person before."

Cameron took a breath then looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I'm a little...touchy on the subject. I err...I've never really met a centaur before either."

Chase sighed and flipped his long, floppy, pale hair out of his eyes with a twitch of his head, which had Cameron and Foreman biting their lips to keep from laughing at the shear...horsiness of the action. "I guess I'll go next then. I'm Robert Chase. I come from... quiet far away from here. My fore-sires were surgeons on the battlefields."

The dark skinned man introduced himself. "Eric Foreman. Long story short I did something stupid, got sentenced to working in the temple, and found out I like, and have a talent for, healing people."

"Ooh are we having story time? Wait let me get my baba!" All three turned at the sarcastic voice.

"Alright. Welcome my new little minions. I am Gregory House. Yes. Of the House's. I don't do magic. Which is why Priestess Cuddy made me hire minions. Hmm, although ironically I only ended up with one adept magic user. You work for me. You do my job; I get the credit. Know what that means? You're my employees. My subordinates. My bitches. I say jump, you say how high with both..Er..all feet already in the air. Are we clear?"

Chase snorted. "I did not sign up to be a slave. I came here to help people. Not cater to your whims."

"Oooh the horsy is cranky! Did someone forget to muck out your stall?" House asked in a mock sympathetic tone.

Chase drew him self up to his full height and glared down at House. A lesser man would be running away from an annoyed 8-foot tall centaur. House just looked amused.

"You'd be more intimidating if I couldn't see your danglies. Have to admit though I'm a little jealous."

Chase glared harder. "If I'm going to be treated like this I might as well just go! I will not be treated as a joke!"

"Oh don't get your..." House paused a moment looking at the centaur up and down. "Vest in a bunch. You're going to be a pissy little thing to work with aren't you?"

Chase rolled his eyes and snorted.

Wilson took pity on the new healers and stepped in, giving House a stern look.

"Welcome to our temple. I'm James Wilson, and this is Gregory House. Don't worry you'll eventually get used to him."

"Your rooms are upstairs." Wilson told Cameron and Foreman. "I'll be up there as well. He turned to Chase. "I have to apologize. We weren't expecting a centaur." He nodded to a large door adjacent to the garden. "That will be your room once we can convert it."

"That's my room!" House protested.

"It's his now. You can have my old one." Wilson offered.

"Your old one sucked! Come on, he's a horse, Horses love the outdoors. They don't need rooms."

"House, you're whining." Wilson admonished, with a smile.

"Of course I'm whining!"

"Would you rather have my room upstairs?"

"Yes. That's it. Pick on the cripple!" House huffed. "Oh, fine!" He glared at Chase, who just shrugged unapologetically. It wasn't his fault the living quarters were poorly designed. "But no tracking straw everywhere pony boy."

The arrangements having evidently been settled, House limped over to a large round table in the center of the room and picked up a piece of chalk, turning his attention to the dark slate board hanging on the wall.

"Okay little ones, time to get to work. We have a middle aged man complaining of nausea and double vision..."