Ok listen up people!
What the hell is wrong with you?! I mean my god!
I've never claimed to be the best fanfiction write out there but sweet lord next to some of you I'm a pro!
Ok first off: STOP HOLDING CHAPTERS HOSTAGE!!
Write for you! Write because you love the show (Movie, book, etc whatever it is) and want to fix plot lines you don't like, the show's over and you still want more of it, get together the couples you like, slash, whatever your reason! Don't demand that you get a certain amount of reviews or you won't post another chapter!
It's stupid, immature, and frankly even if I like the fic I won't leave a review out of spite!
If you're going to write fanfiction write it for you! Reviews should only be icing on the cake.
I'm not trying to say I don't just LOVE reviews! Everyone who's a writer loves them. I live for opening my e-mail and seeing "Review alert!" or a RE: next to my fics name! I love all my reviews weather they're long detailed things about what they liked or just "Cool fic. More plz." or just a "LOL! Great fic!"!
Reviews are wonderful and the only payment a fanfic writer gets. But they shouldn't be the ONLY reason you write!
I write because it's just not possible NOT to write. I write because I have these stories in my head, these plot bunnies nipping at me, and these muses babbling in my ears and I'd just go nuts if I didn't get it all out onto the computer.
And plenty of the fics I write I've never posted anywhere and have no intention of doing so ever! I just write them because I want to and I gotta get these plot bunnies and muses to leave me alone and writing is the only way to do it!
So please I beg of you stop holding your fics for ransom! Because seeing that "And I won't post another chapter till I get 20 new good reviews!" just pisses everyone off and can make what was a good fic now a pile of crap that's NOT going to get you the reviews you want!
And now for the second part of my Rant... STOP WRITING BAD MARY SUE'S!
I like Mary Sue's.
If you've talked to me at all or read my fanfiction, you know that. I think Mary Sue's can be one of the best types of fanfiction.
But only when they're good.
Most of them are NOT good!
For gods sake people do you really think that 20 year old or younger, beautiful, pirate girls who Jack Sparrow, for no good reason at all falls in love with even though she kicks his ass and treats him like her bitch, is good writing?! Unless you're doing a parody it's not!
I mean really people!
Look we've all done it. I got a hard drive full of fics that started as OC's but ended up Mary Sue's from hell. But wanna know the difference? I know that they're crap and while I still like them and keep adding chapters and writing I would never in a million years post them anywhere!
Look I know it's painful. I know how it is when you've slaved, and labored, and sweat, bled, and cried over a fic then to come to the point when you realize that some how at some point your character sprung a dozen super powers, married your favorite guy, turned into a world class hottie, grew talents up the yin yang and everyone other Mary Sue No No in the book. I know how much that can suck. But at the point you gotta either go back and do a MASSIVE rewrite and try to fix her (Or him though most of them are girls) or you gotta stick that fic in the "Written just for me" pile and move on to the next fic.
But sadly it seems most of you aren't doing that!
Really go to Fanfiction.net and look in the Pirates of the Caribbean or Lord Of The Rings sections! Almost NOTHING but daughters of Jack or Sisters of Elizabeth (not joking there's like 100 different fics like that!) or Elven princesses or magical beings of immense power with strange hair and eye colors and names.
Mary Sue's can be good. When the writer is fully admitting to it, when it's a real person reacting like anyone else would in that situation, it's great reading!
Wither it's the "Oooh I've fallen though a portal and now I'm in my favorite TV show(movie/book/play whatever)! Time to boink the hotties then maybe try to get home." Or if it's where you just happen to be living in that Universe and be like a character on the show only it's written just like you. Looks like you. Talks like you. Has your name or screen name. Only thing is she/he is interacting with the characters.
Now I know you're saying right now : "Hey wait a minute that sounds just like all those other fics you hate!" It's isn't. There's no Name: Violette Morningstar Eyes: Golden Emerald Hair: Luxurious Raven Scent: Antique Lavender Paranormal Power: Sees Dead People Specialized Skill: Heiress Distinguishing Mark: Sexy Foreign Accent Relationship to Major Character: Krycek's Love Child. (Heh taken from a Mary Sue generator thing I did years ago. ) They're more common in universes like say Buffy or whatever that are in normal times where a normal human man or woman could blend in just fine. And the other thing is we're admitting it's us. We're not insisting over and over "She's NOT a Mary Sue! She's an OC! Stop calling her a Mary Sue!" No we're full out admitting "Yup! That's me! Wheee! I'm boinking the guy I lust after! If you don't like it stop reading before you hit the end of the Authors Note!"
See the difference?
Now Good OCs can be done!
Hell I even say good Mary Sue-ish OCs can be done! But they take fantastic writers. And I'm sorry to say there are only a few of them out there. The writers on The Wandererverse, great Mary Sue-ish OCs (The whole Universe is named after the Main OC infact! He's a army guy who makes demons cry, is an Immortal, was the student of Duncan McLeod, and oh like a few days after moving to Sunnydale was dating Buffy, training all the Scoobies to fight and just about wiping out all the vampires in town. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!)
Neuropsych writes mind boggling great fics that are FILLED with characters you'd have to call Mary Sue's (IE Jack has a long lost son who ends up getting lessons from Thor and getting into the Air Force school at 14, Geniuses who wipe out the Gou'ld then move on to the Wraith, Genius dogs, ect...) but these are writers are so great that it doesn't matter that they break every single rule out there and and still claim their characters are OCs! You still love the fics and beg on hands and knees for more!
But unless you're one of the mind boggling great writers don't do it.
Please.
Stick to the fics with the characters on the show.
Stop sticking those OCs in there till you learn how to avoid turning them into Mary Sue's.
If the OC's turn into Mary Sue's but you still love the fic but it in your "Just for Me" fanfic file.
If you still want to write OC's get a friend who'll tell you the truth and not sugar coat it to read it before you post it anywhere and tell you the truth if it's turning bad and help you fix it.
KEEP WRITING! You only get better with practice so keep writing! This rant isn't telling you to quit fanfic. Keep practicing and you WILL get better. It's true. I've certainly gotten better since I started a few years ago! Hell I cringe when I read stuff I wrote a few years ago!
Ok so after this long rant I'm feeling a LOT better and just pray that some of you who've read this will listen and STOP posting those god awful fics and/or holding your fics hostage for reviews!
And if you're not one of those people who do that.... when you see them send them here!
New as of 6/4/05
Ok here's a big more about bad fanfic....
If you can't write tech-no babble, don't!
If you, like me, could not write a convincing medical or science scene if your life depended on it, then stop doing it!
Please!
No one is expecting a science or medical journal here but if you can't fake it well, stop faking it bad!
If say are writing a non-medical show but it's vital for the plot of you fic that something happens in a hospitable, catch a few episodes of ER or other medical shows, Google, find a doctor who won't mind Betaing for you and adding realism, anything for the love of god!
So you know how much it yanks you out of a fic when you see something like "Give her 5cc of Calming Serum stat!" in a fic?! Dude watch a single ep of ER and you'd have hand full of drug names you could use! Haldol, Atavan, etc.. (Ok yes most likely those are spelled wrong!) But all you come up with is "Calming Serum"?!?
Now me. I can't do medical or science stuff. I watch a million and one Medical dramas and Sci-fi shows but when it comes to sitting down and writing a fic I just can't write tech-no babble and not sound like a moron. So I don't put any in my fics! I don't write Star Trek fics, I don't write ER or House fics. And I try to avoid science conversation whenever possible when I write Stargate Atlantis fics.
If you're like me would it KILL you to at the very least stick a AN at the top saying something like "Ok yeah I suck at Tech-no babble stuff but this scene if vital to the plot of the fic and I just couldn't find a way to make it work without it so please try not to roll your eyes too much while reading!" so the reader isn't surprised when they get to it? With a warning it'd help keep from knocking the reader out of your universe where we're into the flow of the fic.
Now for something completely diffrent....
Do not. I repeat do not just put "Just read it" and nothing else as your summery!
The whole point of a summery is to make me want to read your fic. To tell me in just a couple of sentences why I should spend my limited Internet time on reading your fic. And "Just read it!" will NOT inspire me to do so!
Neither will just putting up with ship it is with nothing else!
I'm lousy at summaries. I know it and anyone who's read them knowns it.
But at least I make an attempt!
You want people to read your fic right? Well a great deal of us have only a certain about of time and/or are on Dial up so have to be very choosy about what we read. We can't just read every single thing because we don't have the time or can't afford to!
So your summery has to draw us in and make us want to read your fic in only a few sentences. And just putting "Just read it" the pairing, or R&R! is not going to do a darn thing to make us want to read it!
I hate it. It's one of my least favorite things right up there with naming a fic. But it has to be done!
So come on people! Get it together and make at least a weak attempt at coming up with a summery of your fics!
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