The Sweetest Revenge
by Cariann

Part 12

After leaving the party, Spike takes to the streets looking for a release. His first encounter is with a pair of vampires. He takes his time, beating them to an unrecognizable bloody pulp, before staking them. Thoughts of the slayer dance in his mind mixed with horrid images of the past.

The images flash by quickly. He sees her rubbing her hips against him, holding the stake to Drusilla's heart, smiling at him, fighting Angelus in the mansion, bandaging his wounds, pleading with that lunk head she nailed, standing in the school hallway asking him if they really need weapons for this, kissing him passionately, and finally of her fighting him, and thoroughly kicking his ass.

His mind quickly shifts gear to see images from further back. He sees Drusilla the day he met her, and when she was attacked in Prague. He sees Angelus draining him. He sees Drusilla clawing all over his sire, and his sire leering at him. He sees Drusilla leaving him. He sees Drusilla fucking the chaos demon she first left him for.

Finally he sees the wheelchair. It was the wheelchair that left him a bystander to Angelus', and Drusilla�s games. The wheelchair that made him feel useless, and led to his making a deal with the slayer. **The bloody wheelchair the slayer put me in.**

Furious, Spike storms up to the first person he sees. He drags the young boy into an alley. He holds the boy up off the ground by his neck.

"Let me ask you something, mate. If someone ruined your whole bloody life, could you ever love her?" The boy doesn't answer. He can't answer with Spike choking him. "Well," Spike shouts vamping out.

The boy's head lolls to the side as he passes out from not being able to breathe. Spike twists his hand sharply snapping the boy�s neck.

"You were no help," he shouts at the corpse as he lets the dead boy fall to the ground.

That night Spike asked over a dozen people the same question. None of them answered him, and he either drained them, or snapped their necks. He disposed of their bodies carefully, so as not to arouse suspicion later when he resumes his plan.

The only reason he stops is the impeding sunrise. As the sun begins to rise, Spike ducks into the sewers, and makes his way back to his old lair. He storms into his bedroom, and Harmony screams.

"Daddy's home sweets. Time to play."

Spike doesn't wait for her to answer him, or even utter a single word before he is on top of her, thrusting his mouth forcefully onto hers. He takes her without asking. As he slams into her, oblivious to her pleas, and tears, he curses the slayer in his head. He savagely rips into Harmony's neck as he comes, and she cries out in pain. When he's finished, he pulls out of her, and flops down on the bed satisfied.

**The slayer is not going to beat me. I'm going to kill her, and she is going to suffer even more now than before. Bloody bitch, how dare she make me love her.**

~~~

Buffy awakens just before dawn. Her whole body aches. She slowly climbs from the bed, and reaches for the phone. She dials her dorm room number. On the second ring, a groggy Willow answers.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah Will, it's me. I'm okay. I'm just calling so you won't worry anymore," Buffy flatly says.

"Where are you? Are you with Spike?"

"No, I'm at home."

"Are you okay? I mean with what happened with Spike?"

"No, Will I'm not." The constant tears form in Buffy's eyes again, and she chokes out, "I'm not okay. I feel empty, ashamed, embarrassed, ugly, repulsive, and alone."

"I'm sorry Buffy."

Buffy cruelly laughs, "God, and I practically screwed him in front of everyone. I'm such a fool."

"No, Buffy you're not. Spike cares about you. I think he loves you."

"Willow don't lie to me. It might make me feel better, but in the end I'll be worse. There's no hope. The sooner I realize that, the sooner things will go back to normal."

"I know, but I really think he does. The way he talks about you."

"Well, he's gone. Why do they always leave me?"

"I don't know, Buffy," is the only answer Willow can offer.

Part 13

Spike spends the two days after the party rebuilding his hatred for the slayer. When he feels he has refocused, he gets ready to confront the slayer again, and move on with his plan. He glances at Harmony chained to the bed, and sighs. ** I might as well let her go now.** Spike unhooks her from the chains, and she limply falls free. Not saying a word, Spike leaves the lair, and heads towards Buffy's dorm room.

He stands in front of her door. He's anxious, and nervous. **Make it believable.** He doesn't hear any sounds from inside, but knocks anyway. He finally hears shifting inside, and the door slowly opens. Standing in front of him, is the slayer. She is wearing a tank top, old sweats, and his duster. Her feet are bare, and her hair is pulled back into a sloppy ponytail. There are dark rings around her puffy eyes.

Spike almost loses it when he sees her. The pain in the slayer's gaze hurts him somewhere deep inside. He tries to reign in his emotions, but it is next to impossible to not feel his heart swell with love, and pain. He forces himself to see images of Drusilla to get his anger back up, but it comes in weak flashes.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry," Spike murmurs wrapping his arms around her small body.

Buffy collapses into his arms. She feels her throat constricting, and tears welling in her eyes. Spike senses her impending tears, and rubs her back.

"It's okay, baby. Don't cry."

Buffy melts into his arms. She inhales the distinct smell that is Spike. The smell that had lingered on his duster, and the reason Buffy had worn it non-stop since she found it the day after the party.

Spike steps back, and looks at Buffy. Buffy looks away from his gaze, and asks, "Why'd you leave?"

Spike tilts her chin up so she is looking into his eyes. "I was scared," he answers.

"I'm scared too," Buffy replies.

Spike shuts the door with his foot. He fingers the collar of his duster. The fact that she is wearing it breaks Spike's undead heart.

"You like my coat?" he quietly asks.

�You left it at the party, so Willow picked it up for you."

Buffy starts to shrug it off, but Spike stops her. "It looks better on you," he whispers.

Buffy's heart flutters in her chest. Spike winks at her, and picks her up. He carries her to the bed, and gently sets her down. He takes off his boots before crawling behind her. He lies on his side, and pulls her to his chest, nuzzling his head into her neck.

They lay there in silence. Buffy doesn't think of anything. She just lies there enjoying the feel of being in his arms. Over and over in his head, Spike tells himself to just stick to the plan, but seeing Buffy had put his perfect plan in trouble again. He desperately tries to not be pulled in by the slayer.

He glances down at her peaceful face. Her eyes are closed, and there is a small smile on her lips. Spike looks down to their hands. His hand rests on her stomach, and Buffy's hand rests on top of his. Her thumb unconsciously caresses the back of his hand. **Bloody hell. This was the stupidest fucking plan I've ever thought up.** At some point they both drift off to sleep.

When Buffy wakes up the next morning, she smiles. Spike's arms are still holding her tightly to him. She glances over to Willow's bed, and notices that she has already left for the day.

Buffy snuggles closer to Spike causing him to moan. Buffy stops moving, not wanting to wake him up, but she is too late. Spike opens his eyes, and smiles. He places a kiss right below her ear before slowly pushing his duster away from her shoulders, and kissing her bare skin causing Buffy to inhale sharply.

Spike continues to gently suck on her neck as Buffy's mind begins to swim, and her body tenses in anticipation, and need. Spike's hands slide down to her stomach. His hands play across her abdomen, and Buffy's trembles under his touch.

Spike slowly slides his hand lower, and beneath her sweats. He raises his eyebrows, and lets out a quiet growl when he finds nothing underneath her sweats, but her skin. Buffy gasps, and collapses against him as she feels his fingers enter her.

Spike rolls her over onto her back, and moves his mouth to hers. He gently coaxes her mouth open, and caresses her tongue with his. An incredible heat engulfs Buffy as Spike slowly moves his hand thrusting in and out of her. He moves his mouth from hers, and down her neck causing Buffy to gasp for air.

Spike removes his hand, and Buffy whimpers at the loss of his touch. He grins at her before sliding down her body. He lifts her shirt up, and places gentle kisses on her stomach as he slides her sweats down in one quick motion.

Buffy wiggles in anticipation as Spike moves his mouth further down. She moans as she feels his tongue flick across her clit. He repeats the action, and Buffy arches up against him. Spike grabs her hips, and plunges his tongue deep inside of her. Buffy digs her nails into his shoulders drawing blood. Her breathing increases as she feels herself being pushed over the edge. With one last flick of his tongue, Spike sends her over. She screams his name as the tremendous pleasure ripples through her body.

Spike looks up at her as she lies there trying to catch her breathe. He smiles, and climbs back up her body. He gazes down at her as she slowly opens her eyes to look at him. She reaches up, and without hesitation, pulls his mouth down to hers, and hungrily kisses him.

Spike presses his body against hers, and she can feel his hardness against her thigh. Buffy moves her hand to caress him through his jeans eliciting a moan from Spike. Her fingers fumble with his buttons. The desire burning through Spike is almost unbearable, and he removes her hands from his pants, and quickly unfastens his jeans.

The desire to bury himself deep inside of her takes over, and Spike rips at her tank top slashing it down the middle. He breaks away from her mouth, to yank his shirt over his head. Buffy lets out a little cry, and Spike jerks his head to look at her. Fear washes over him that he hurt her, or scared her. He stares down at the slayer. She can see the hesitation, and concern in his eyes, and she smiles up at him. She takes her hands, and pushes his jeans down, silently telling him it is okay.

Spike kicks his jeans to the floor. He positions himself to enter her, but hesitates. His mind starts to overload. **The plan. It's part of the plan. I love her. I want her. I want her to love me. Drusilla. Angelus. Wheelchair. Warm body. Buffy's body. Bloody hell I want her.**

"Spike?" Buffy whispers.

Spike snaps out of his thoughts, and looks at the slayer. She's nervously biting her lip, and looking up at him with fear, and love. Spike kisses her gently on the lips before slowly thrusting himself into her. Buffy gasps, and grips his shoulders tighter as he slowly moves in and out of her.

She wraps her legs around his waist urging him to move faster with her hips. Spike recaptures her mouth in a passionate kiss.

Buffy feels the pressure build inside her, and breaks away from his kiss to look into his eyes. Just as Spike locks eyes with her, she screams his name for the second time as her orgasm floods her body. She claws at his back as the pleasure washes over her. Spike watches her as she comes. **Bloody hell she's beautiful.**

With a few more quick thrusts Spike follows her over the edge. He growls, vamping out. He turns his head away from Buffy, and tries to pull away, but Buffy holds him inside her with her legs. She yanks his head back up, and attacks his mouth. His fangs slice her tongue, and Spike sucks her tongue into his mouth, tasting her sweet, powerful blood.

Spike releases her tongue, and instantly changes back to his human features. He stares down at Buffy. Her eyes are closed, and her face is glowing with perspiration, and pleasure. Her body is still slightly trembling underneath him. She slowly opens her eyes, and smiles up at him.

"I think we ruined your coat," she gently laughs.

Spike kisses the tip of her nose. "It was worth it."

Spike gently pulls out of her, and lies on his side propping his head up with his hand. His hand slowly traces patterns on her belly. Buffy closes her eyes, and just enjoys the feeling of being with Spike.

"Where's Red?" Spike curiously asks.

Buffy laughs, and opens her eyes. "She's not here, so no we didn't give her a good show."

Spike chuckles before saying, "Can you imagine the look on her face if she saw that."

Buffy grins at the thought, and adds, "She'd be redder than her hair."

"To say the least," Spike answers.

Buffy looks away, and nervously asks, "Spike?"

"What, luv?"

Spike turns her head so she is looking at him again. She looks up into his blue eyes. "Are you still scared?"

"More than ever," he answers staring into her eyes.

"Me too."

Silence descends on the pair, and Spike protectively pulls her against his chest.

~~~

The next two weeks quickly pass by. Buffy didn't tell anyone about Spike except Willow. She was supportive, but still warned Buffy to be careful. Every night Spike went on patrol with Buffy. They fought demons, and with each other. Occasionally on a slow night, they would spar with each other with both their fists, and with their tongues.

Though they slept in each other�s arms, they had not been intimate again. One reason was Willow was ten feet away. The other, more pressing reason was that they were both trying to sort out their feelings.

They spent a great deal of time talking. Buffy told Spike about her life, and about past slaying adventures. Spike shared some of his more tame exploits. As the days wore on, they became closer, and closer and shared their dreams, fears, and desires. On rare occasions they would even talk about Angel, and Drusilla.

The one subject they never talked about was their feelings towards each other. While they both knew they loved the other, the reality of it was still hard to accept. Neither could admit it to the other, and barely could admit it to themselves. A lot of time was spent lost in their own confusion, and frustration. The silence was never uncomfortable, but one of them would eventually ask the other what they were thinking about. That person would then reply with a secretive smile, "Nothing." It was a little game they played, but in actuality they both knew what the thoughts were about. The confusion that still surrounded the feelings prevented either from talking about it.

Spike would lie awake at night watching her sleep trying to find an answer to his problem. He had to force himself to hate her, and he had to force himself to remember the plan. The plan that was so perfect, and well laid out, now gave him doubts. He didn't know if he could kill the slayer now. The thought of hurting Angel didn't bother him, but thinking about losing the slayer scared him. He liked fighting with her. He liked talking with her. He liked the way she smiled at him, and touched his cheek when she said goodnight. He liked the way she smelled, the way she walked, the way she laughed at him. He liked kissing her, holding her, touching her. He loved her.

Part 14

Harmony looks up at the building, and checks the address again. She is at the right place. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts, and walks inside. She walks along the halls until she reads a sign that says, Angel Investigations.

Harmony opens the door, and walks inside. Cordelia is sitting at her desk filing her nails. She is talking to man Harmony doesn't recognize. When she shuts the door, both of them look up at her.

Cordelia's face breaks out into a frantic smile. "Harmony, oh my God, you're here. I mean in LA."

"Hi Cordelia," Harmony answers.

"What are you doing here?" Cordelia asks, checking her clothes before standing up.

"The usual, shopping, and stuff."

"Right. LA's great for that. We should get together, and go sometime."

Doyle coughs at Cordelia seeking an introduction. Cordelia ignores him.

"Right, that would be fun," Harmony nervously answers.

"So Harmony, what's new with you?" Cordelia asks, sitting on the edge of the desk.

"A lot of things," Harmony answers.

"So tell. What's the scoop on Sunnydale?"

Doyle coughs again. Cordelia swings her leg, and kicks him.

"Hey," Doyle yelps.

"Harmony, this is Doyle. Ignore him. He's not important."

"Nice to meet you," Doyle offers.

"Cordelia, you always had the strangest taste in guys."

Cordelia fumes, before answering, "We're not together. He just hangs around here like the complete loser he is."

"Hey, I work here," Doyle argues.

"Right, just like I do," Cordelia offers a fake laugh.

"What are you doing here?" Harmony asks confused.

"Just waiting for Angel."

"Oh, you and Angel?" Harmony asks.

"No, not like that. Friends. He has great connections in the industry, and well since I'm a rising star, we get thrown together a lot," Cordelia lies.

Doyle just snickers.

"Cool, so where is Angel?"

"You came here to see Angel?" Cordelia asks shocked.

"Yeah. I have something to tell him."

"About what?" Cordelia jealously asks.

�Stuff. It's kind of private. Can I talk to him?"

"There are no secrets around here, darling," Doyle answers. "If you want to talk to the big guy, you're going to have to tell us why."

"It's about Spike," Harmony answers.

Both Doyle's, and Cordelia's faces change. They remember the last time Spike came to town.

"I'll go get Angel," Doyle mutters before hurrying to the elevator.

"How do you know Spike?" Cordelia asks with interest.

"From around."

"Around where? He's a vampire."

"I know. Things change."

"Spike's not a vampire now?"

"No, he still is, but I've changed."

Cordelia looks Harmony up, and down. "I guess so, if you're hanging around Spike," Cordelia answers in disgust.

Angel, and Doyle return ending any more questions from Cordelia. Angel gets straight to the point, and asks, "Harmony, what do you know about Spike?"

"Can we talk alone?" Harmony nervously asks.

Angel finally senses that Harmony is a vampire, and instantly goes on the defensive. "Sure, why don't I meet you in that room over there in a minute," Angel says as he points to the office.

Harmony walks into the office, and shuts the door. Angel turns to Cordelia, and Doyle, and whispers, "She's a vampire."

"What?" Cordelia shouts.

"A little louder, so she knows we're talking about her," Doyle jokes.

Angel just gives Cordelia a pained look, before following Harmony into the office. He shuts the door, and tells Harmony, "You're a vampire."

"I know that. That's not why I am here though."

"Why are you here?" Angel asks.

"Because Spike hurt me," Harmony pouts.

Angel looks at the girl strangely. "How did he hurt you, and what does that have to do with me?"

"Well, first he told me he loves syphilis more than me, and then he staked me, but I had the gem of Amarra on. Well, then he practically ripped my finger off to get it, and then he left me."

Angel interrupts her, "So he broke your heart."

Harmony sniffles, "Yes, but then he came back promising to stay with me forever, and I believed him, but he left me again."

Harmony breaks down into sobs, and Angel awkwardly pats her shoulder. "How is it that I can help you?"

"Well, I want to get him back for being so mean to me. I loved him. I gave him everything he ever wanted, and he treats me like like like. I don't like what, but it's not nice, and then he chained me up, and was all rough, and hurt me."

"He attacked you sexually?" Harmony nods. "Well, I hate to say it, but that's just Spike. He likes chains, pain, and all that stuff."

"But he was never like that before. He was sweet, and gentle, and promised to take me to France."

Angel is growing impatient with the pathetic creature in his office. He thinks she just wants him to kill Spike. "Harmony, I don't think I can help you."

"But you can. You're the only one who can. If Spike doesn't love me, well then he's going to pay for what he did to me."

"I don't do revenge."

"It's only revenge for me. For you, it's helping Buffy." At the sound of her name, Angel growls, and his eyes flash. Harmony, seeing the change in Angel smiles. "That's right. Buffy's in danger. See Spike thought I was asleep, or passed or, or whatever while I was chained up. And he so talks to himself. It's weird to watch him pace, and mutter under his breathe. I swear he should see a shrink, because I think he's emotionally unstable, and a little crazy. If he wasn't so cute, I wouldn't even bother with him."

Angel grabs Harmony's shoulders. "What about Buffy?"

"Oh right, so he's pacing, and talking to himself about this plan he has. I swear he's crazy."

"The plan, Harmony. What is the plan?" Angel asks gripping her shoulders harder.

"Oww, let go," Harmony screams.

Angel releases his grip just as Cordelia, and Doyle burst in. "What's wrong?" Cordelia asks looking at the two. Angel is clenching his fists clearly worried, and pissed off, and Harmony is crying.

"Nothing. We'll be out in a minute," Angel shouts.

"Wow, chill out," Cordelia says annoyed.

Doyle drags her out of the room through her protests. Angel turns back to Harmony. "Tell me the plan?"

"Well, Spike wants to hurt you, and Buffy, so he started to help Buffy with her vampire thing."

"Spike is helping her? She's allowing him to help?" Angel asks shocked.

"I guess so. Anyway his plan is to get Buffy to fall in love with him, so he can rub it in your face, and then kill her. He figures you'll be all miserable forever because the girl you loved, loved him, and she's dead. It's actually a clever plan, even if it did come from Spike."

Angel cuts her off, "That plan will never work. Buffy would never."

"Well, he was all grumbly about how she tricked him into liking her, and how the plan was working perfectly except that he loved her. I mean really, he's crazy. Who would love that freak Buffy? I guess a freak like Spike, but really."

"He said the plan was working?"

"Yeah about how she was falling for it, and had let him kiss her, and everything."

"I don't believe you," Angel shouts vamping out.

"Oh, someone's a bit angry," Harmony smiles.

"Get out," Angel yells.

�But, you're going to get Spike back for me right?"

"Out," Angel yells slamming his fist into the desk.

Harmony runs out of the room, and right past Cordelia, and Doyle without a word. Cordelia, and Doyle wait in the main room for Angel to reappear.

"I wonder what she said?" Cordelia says.

"Whatever it was, it wasn't good," Doyle answers.

"Must have been about Buffy," she says as her voice trails off at the end as Angel reappears his vamp face gone.

"Well?" Cordelia asks, and Doyle shoots her a look telling her to shut up.

"I have to go back to Sunnydale. Buffy's in trouble," Angel answers heading down to his apartment.

"Want us to come with you?" Doyle asks.

"No, I'll go alone," Angel answers, and then disappears.

Part 15

Buffy kicks the feet out from under the vampire. He falls onto his back, and Spike shoves a stake in his heart.

"Hey, that's no fair. That was my slay," Buffy protests.

"I have to have my fun too, pet. You got to do all the beating. I was jealous."

Buffy giggles, "Poor little Spike isn't having any fun."

"Hey, I'm not little," Spike defensively argues.

"Believe me, I know," she says with a seductive smile.

Spike raises his eyebrows at her, and pulls her to him. "I know how I can have some fun," he growls in her ear while rubbing his hard on against her.

"Definitely not little," Buffy murmurs.

Spike yanks her mouth to his. His cool lips press roughly against hers. His tongue invades her mouth, sending tingling sensations through Buffy's body. She knows they have been moving towards this, and tonight she wants it, tonight she's ready for it. Buffy finally pulls away needing to breathe.

"I think we've patrolled enough tonight, don't you," she breathlessly says.

"Definitely," Spike answers knowing exactly what she means.

He pulls her into another demanding kiss. When he lets her up for air, they look at each other before taking off in a run to her room. They both know that Willow has an all night Wicca ceremony, and the room is theirs. They reach her room laughing. Buffy opens the door, and walks in. Spike kicks the door closed before pinning her up against it.

As their mouths clash, their hands roam each other's bodies removing clothing as they go. Buffy slides off Spike's duster before running her hands up under his T-shirt, and lightly scraping her nails across his smooth skin. Spike fumbles with the buttons of her top finally ripping them off in frustration. He quickly unhooks her bra, and pushes all her clothing to the floor, so she is naked from the waist up.

Still kissing her, Spike caresses her breasts causing Buffy to moan into his mouth. Breaking away from her mouth, Spike trails a path of kisses down her neck, and in between her breasts. Buffy leans back against the door panting, as Spike traces circles on her breast with his tongue before sucking her nipple into his mouth. Buffy gasps, and runs her fingers through his hair holding him to her. Spike moves to the other breast to repeat his attentions.

He pulls his head away from her grasp, and wickedly smiles at her, before grabbing her hips, and planting kisses, and bites all the way down her abdomen. He slowly licks the small traces of blood off of her stomach before continuing lower. He unzips her pants, and slides them off her hips kissing the newly exposed skin.

Buffy wiggles until they drop to the floor. She quickly kicks off her shoes, and steps out of her pants as Spike traces his tongue along the edge of her panties. She grabs Spike shirt, and rips it off of his body before hauling him back to her mouth. Buffy's hands glide over his cool, smooth chest, and abdomen as she explores his mouth with hers.

She unbuttons his jeans, and pushes them down. Her body reacts instantly when she realizes he is not wearing any underwear. Spike quickly kicks his boots, and jeans away, and picks Buffy up never breaking the kiss. She wraps her legs around his waist as he carries her to the bed. He gently sets her on the bed, and looks into her eyes. **Fuck the bloody plan. I'm never letting her go.**

Buffy grabs him by the shoulders, and drags him down on top of her. Spike runs his hands along her body. Buffy grabs him by his head, and slams his mouth onto hers. Spike's hand slides underneath her panties, and into her heat. He slides his fingers in and out of her as Buffy arches her hips to meet his thrusts.

Buffy breaks away from his mouth, and moans his name as she climaxes under his actions. Spike slowly removes his hand, and hooks her panties with his fingers. He slides them down her legs. At her feet, Spike kisses her toes, sending Buffy into a giggling fit. Spike looks up at her, and frowns. He crawls back to her, so he is face to face with her.

"What are you laughing at?" he demands.

"Nothing," Buffy answers between giggles.

"You're laughing at me," Spike says with hurt.

"No, really I'm not."

"Well, I'm glad the way I shag has you amused. That really wasn't the response I was looking for," Spike says angrily standing up.

"Spike, I'm sorry. I swear I wasn't laughing at you," Buffy pleads sitting up, and gripping his hand.

"You had bloody better tell me then exactly why you were laughing."

"You and me. Here, doing this. It's so unbelievable, and then you kissed my toes. I expected you to maybe slam me against a door, and ravage my body, but to kiss my toes is so sweet."

"Just bloody great. You think I'm a giant puff now."

�No, Spike. I just realized that this isn't so weird. I don't have that this is good, but weird feeling anymore. It just feels right, and I started to giggle. Plus it tickled."

"You think this feels right?" Spike asks glancing down at her naked body.

"Yes, do you?" she asks. The few seconds that pass before he answers are filled with the greatest fear Buffy has ever felt. She doesn't even breathe. **If he says no, I think I'm going to die.**

"I feel it too," Spike quietly answers.

Buffy grins. She yanks him onto the bed, and shoves him onto his back. Buffy slides her legs around him, straddling him.

"Let's feel it together," Buffy says before lowering herself onto his cock.

Spike growls as he is engulfed by her heat, and Buffy bites her lip as she feels him fill her. Buffy rides him slow at first, unsure of herself in this position, but she quickly picks up her pace as he urges her on with his hands on her hips.

Spike looks up at the slayer as she rides him. His heart fills with love as he watches her move up and down. Her eyes are closed, her head is thrown back, and her hands are lightly pressed to his chest. She opens her eyes when Spike grabs her hand entwining it with his.

He pulls her down so her chest is against his. He rolls them over switching their positions, their hands still entwined. Above her, Spike stares into her eyes, as he slowly thrusts into her. He raises his hand, and gently strokes her cheek. He doesn't want this moment to end. He stares into the love in her eyes, and kisses her sweetly.

Buffy feels herself tightening again, and wanting so much to release the pressure she lifts her hips quicker. Spike meets her thrusts, and they both explode shouting each other�s names. Spike vamps out, and slices her shoulder with his fangs. Buffy holds his head, as he licks the blood that trickles from the wound. Spike's face returns to his human features, and he softly kisses her.

With their hands still entwined, Spike lays his head on her shoulder, and listens to her heart pounding. As her breathing even outs, Buffy lifts Spike face to look at her.

"I love you," she whispers.

"I love you, pet," Spike murmurs back gently kissing her lips.

They both tense up when they hear clapping behind them. Both of their heads snap over to the door. Spike instantly vamps out, and growls when he sees his sire at the door. Buffy is in shock. All she can do is whisper, "Angel."

"That was a nice show. Touching really," Angel comments with disgust in his voice.

Spike pulls out of Buffy, and drops her hand before standing up. Angel throws him his pants, and Spike slides them on. Buffy pulls the covers over her naked body.

"Get out of here Angel, before I kill you," Spike threatens with a growl.

"You won't kill me Spike. That's not part of the plan. I'm supposed to suffer forever with the knowledge that dear Buffy here loves you," Angel mockingly answers.

Spike flinches, and both Buffy, and Angel notice. Angel turns to Buffy, and with pain, and sadness in his voice asks her, "Buffy, how could you?"

Spike lunges at Angel, and grabs Angel around his throat. He holds him up against the door. "Get out of here," Spike growls.

"I'm not going to let you hurt her," Angel growls back.

"You have no say in the matter anymore, mate. You left her, and now she is with me."

"Over my dead body," Angel threatens.

"If you insist," Spike answers. Spike lets Angel go, and faces him. "Come on Angel, you want to fight, we'll fight"

Buffy hasn't been able to speak. The joy of hearing Spike tell her he loves her, and then the shock of seeing Angel, and knowing that he had watched her, and Spike make love, overwhelms her senses. The words intermingle in her mind. **"Buffy how could you?" "I love you" "Buffy how could you?" "I love you"**

Buffy screams trying to silence the words in her head. Both vampires turn their heads to see the petite slayer crying. They instantly lose their vamp faces, and run over to her. Spike gets there first having been closer to her. He sits on the bed, and wraps his arm around her.

"Baby, it'll be okay," he whispers brushing a loose strand of hair away from her face.

Angel grips his shoulder, but Spike doesn't move. He continues to comfort Buffy much to Angel's shock, and disappointment.

"Buffy," Angel begins.

Buffy cuts him off, "Why are you here?"

"To protect you from Spike," Angel answers his hand still gripping Spike's shoulder.

"She doesn't need to be protected from me," Spike angrily answers.

"I think she does, and she would too if she knew about your plan."

Spike is able to control his reaction this time, and doesn't even move. "There's no plan you wanker. Just sod off will you," Spike answers his voice showing no emotion.

He turns back to Buffy. If his heart beat it would have stopped. As it is, he feels like his heart is breaking in two when he sees the distrust, and fear in her face.

"Buffy, don't believe him," Spike pleads.

"Buffy, this is all Spike's plan to enact revenge on us. He wanted to make you trust him, and love him so he could torture me with it forever," Angel tells her.

"Spike?" Buffy asks.

Spike is looking at the floor, his whole world crumbling around him. **She believes him because she loves him. She doesn't love me. She never will. It's all over. I've lost again.**

When he doesn't answer, Buffy lifts his head up to look at her, and she sees the tears streaming down his face.

"Spike," Buffy gasps as tears well in her eyes again.

"I'm sorry, baby," he chokes out before pushing past Angel, and running out of the room.

Buffy stands up, not caring that she is naked in front of Angel, and hurriedly puts on her clothes. She starts to take off after him, but Angel grabs her by the shoulders.

"Let him go. He was only going to hurt you."

"I can't," Buffy sobs trying to break away from him, but Angel pulls her to him in a crushing hug.

"He was going to kill you. It was all a game. Who you feel in love with was an act. It wasn't Spike. The real Spike is a cold blooded killer, who doesn't have the capacity to love."

"I love him," Buffy whispers as she cries into Angel's chest.

Her painful sobs tear Angel's heart apart. He knows she really does love Spike, and not him anymore. Buffy brings her knee up into Angel's crouch. He groans and collapses to the floor, allowing Buffy to dart from the room. She runs blindly trying to find Spike.

Buffy finally finds Spike's car parked at the cemetery. She can see him slouched in the driver's seat sobbing. She opens the passenger door, and climbs in. Spike looks up, and gets angry.

"What are you doing here slayer?"

"I want to hear it from you. I want to hear that you were going to kill me."

Spike stares at her. He sees the anger, and distrust, the pain, and the love.

"You want to hear it? Well, here it is. You pissed me off. I bloody hate you, and that fucking soul having poof you love. He took Dru from me. You made Dru leave me. You two made my life a living hell. I had no reason to live, except to make you suffer for everything you've done to me, including that bloody wheelchair. I wish that organ had killed me. It would have been worlds better than the hell that followed. So after you stole the ring from me, gave it to that wanker, and after he took it from me, I came up with a plan. During that whole torture, which I paid a pretty penny for by the way, the thing that hurt him the most was hearing about how his precious slayer had spread her legs for some weasel of a boy who had fucked her, and dumped her. Taking that piece of priceless information, I figured out the best torture for dear Dad. An eternity of knowing that the one woman he has ever loved, loved me instead, his despicable offspring. It's poetic you know, since I will have to live an eternity knowing that my princess, my black goddess, my Drusilla, loved him more than me. It was a perfect plan really. The only hitch being you had to love me. I stumbled here and there, but I succeeded. The slayer loves me, and Angel knows it. Hell even better than my plan, Angel saw it. I should be singing and dancing down the streets. I should be having tasty little treats of young beauties. Instead, I am sitting in my car crying over the slayer. This was not part of the plan."

Spike finishes his story, which the slayer has been listening to in stunned silence. He lets his head drop down onto the steering wheel.

"You were going to kill me?" Buffy whispers.

"I never said that," Spike answers.

"You told me the part of the plan that punished Angel, but what about me? Was my broken heart supposed to be my punishment? It's not your style, because you knew I'd get over it. There had to be something that I would suffer forever."

Spike sighs, and tells her, "Your punishment was supposed to be knowing that you loved a cold blooded demon, and that your Angel wouldn't be able to look at you. Which by the way happened. He may have wanted to protect you, but he looked at you like you were disgusting. He'll never love you again now. Which I suppose would be satisfying enough for a demon lesser than me, but it isn't. I was going to kill you. Your punishment being that for the few seconds it took to drain you, you would know how much you let down your friends, your watcher, Angel, your mother, and the world by being stupid enough to love a demon."

Buffy's tears fall silently. She doesn't sob, or scream. She just lets tears fall as she digests what Spike's plan had been. She is angry, and sad at the same time. Mostly, she feels a tremendous hole where her heart should have been. Buffy reaches out, and places her hand on Spike's knee.

Controlling her voice, Buffy says, "You're right it was a perfect plan. There's only one thing left to do."

Spike tenses under her touch, and her words. He can't believe what he is hearing. **The slayer wants me to kill her**

When Spike doesn't answer, Buffy screams, "Finish the God damn plan, Spike."

Spike vamps out, and yells, "NO."

"What kind of a demon are you? I want to die. There is nothing that can change what happened. I can't go on knowing what I have done, so please, if there is any part of you that cares now, or ever did, then kill me."

"I won't. I can't," Spike screams before tossing himself out of the car, and sprinting away.

Buffy gives chase, and tackles him. She shoves his head into the ground. Spike tosses her off of him, and tries to get up, but Buffy pulls him back down. She straddles him, and punches him repeatedly in the face.

"You coward. You fucking coward. Running away isn't the answer. You either finish the plan, or you love me. There is no other option," Buffy furiously yells.

Spike yanks her down into a hard kiss. His fangs rip her mouth, and tongue. He can taste her blood, and he savagely rips her mouth apart. He flips her over, and pins her down. He roughly yanks her pants down. Buffy raises her hands to undo his jeans, and frees him. Spike doesn't hesitate at all to begin slamming into her. He isn't gentle. He attacks her with hatred, anger, and love.

Buffy is scared, and excited at the same time. She can feel herself being pushed over the edge, and urges Spike on with her hips. She digs her nails into his scalp drawing blood. She feels his body tense before he explodes with a vicious animal like growl. He rips his mouth from hers, and sinks his fangs into her neck. **To kill this girl you have to love her.**

Buffy's body tenses. She can feel the blood disappearing from her body, and holds Spike's head possessively to her neck. **This is it. This moment is my life. I love demons, and in the end that love is going to kill me.** Buffy screams out his name as her orgasm shakes her from somewhere deep inside. Almost instantly she passes out.

Spike takes one last gulp before extracting his fangs. His demon vanishes, and he stares down at Buffy. Her eyes are closed, and a peaceful smile is on her lips. Spike lowers his head to her chest. He can hear a faint heartbeat. **She's going to die. She wanted to die. My love killed her.**

Spike quickly buttons his pants, and takes off in a sprint to the first phone he can find. He dials Buffy's number. Angel answers on the first ring.

"You'll find her at the cemetery, by the gates. Hurry."

Spike slams the phone down, and runs back to the slayer. He checks her breathing. It hasn't changed. He quickly jumps into his car, and roars off. On his way out of town he takes out the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign.

Epilogue

Buffy slowly opens her eyes. She blinks a few times trying to orient herself. The white walls, and sanitized smell tell her she is in a hospital. She groans, and closes her eyes again. She hates hospitals.

She feels someone squeeze her hand. "Honey, are you up?"

Buffy recognizes the voice of her mother, and opens her eyes again. She tries to answer, but her mouth is too dry to open.

"Xander get a doctor," Joyce orders.

Buffy hears the door open, and close. She tries to focus on the other voices. She recognizes Willow, and Giles instantly. They are both calling her name. She tries to move her head to look at them, but it is too painful.

The door opens again, and a man in a white coat stands over Buffy. "You are one lucky young lady." Buffy smiles weakly. "How do you feel," the doctor asks as he begins to examine her.

Buffy opens her mouth again, and in a raspy voice asks, "Water."

She hears someone scrambling around, and then Willow places a glass to her lips. She opens her mouth, and lets the liquid trickle in. When her thirst is sufficiently satisfied, she shakes her head, and the glass disappears.

"Are we ready to talk yet?" the doctor asks.

Buffy opens her mouth again, and says the only thing she has been thinking about.

"Spike?"

~ The End

You came so quickly
Right in and out of my life
I didn't know they came like that
But did I ever tell you how much I love to hold you
I didn't know they came like that.

It doesn't really matter if I live or die
The only thing that matters is you�re by my side
No turning back from this world

I judged too quickly
I've never been good at trust
I didn't know they came like that
But did I ever tell you how much I love to love you
I didn't know they came like that

It doesn't really matter if I live or die
The only thing that matters is you�re by my side
No turning back from this world

It's not that I don't want your love.
But I don't deserve your love.

-Descendents "Cameage"

The story continues in Blue Days Black Nights

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