In Dreams
by Cariann

Part 2

Sleep came to Dawn despite her best efforts to stay awake. She hadn�t slept in two days and her body refused to stay awake any longer. She slipped into her dream as soon as her eyes fluttered closed. A soft yellow light, comforting and familiar in an eerie way, surrounded her. It caressed her skin, and floated through her hair warming her. Dawn gave herself to the sensations as her mind floated away from her.

�Dawn listen to me.�

Dawn heard her, but she couldn�t focus as her mind drifted further and further away into the expansive yellow light. Dawn knew she should listen, but she didn�t want to fight the euphoria washing over her at the moment. She felt light, detached, and numb to all the pain. It felt so wonderful, and she gave herself to it.

�You have to be strong. Dawn.�

Dawn ignored her. The yellow wrapped itself around Dawn blanketing her in a cool fog and seeping into her pores. She became even more lightheaded and everything around her began to drift away even the yellow. She was disappearing�evaporating into the light.

She tried to scream no, but her mind was too far gone. The light danced across her skin trying to sooth her, trying to take her away.

�Be brave.�

�No,� Dawn screamed the sound shattering in her ears. The mist turned into sharp needles piercing her skin causing her to scream out in agony as everything became all too real again. �I can�t,� Dawn cried.

�The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.�

�You don�t know. You don�t understand,� Dawn shouted her voice disappearing into the light as she let the light take control of her again.

�I�ll always love you.�

A pair of hands reached out and grabbed a hold of her around the throat choking her. The world started closing in around Dawn.

�This is the work I have to do.�

And then it was all black.

~*~*~*~

Dawn gasped as she was ripped from her sleep her body drenched in sweat and trembling. She started coughing as she tried to breath air into her deprived lungs. It was just a dream she told herself, but it felt so real. Her hands flew up to her throat where she felt pain�the aftermath of being choked.

On shaking legs Dawn walked over to the mirror in her room. Even though it was the middle of the day, Dawn�s room was dark. She paused to flick on the lamp in her room before standing in front of her mirror. All the blood drained from her face as she stared at the vivid handprint on her neck.

Dawn stumbled backwards completely terrified. She had lied to Spike about her dreams. Buffy never told her not to believe her�not to trust her. The truth was Dawn didn�t believe her or trust her. In her dreams Buffy was trying to kill her.

Dawn ran for the door wanting to get out of her room�wanting to get away from her dreams. She stumbled down the hall her legs barely holding her up. She stopped outside of Buffy�s door and listened. From inside she heard a constant clicking noise. She cracked the door open peering cautiously into the pitch black.

�Spike,� she whispered as she opened the door further tentatively stepping inside.

She heard nothing in response, but as her eyes adjusted to the darkness she saw him sitting in the far corner knees drawn up to his chin. In his left hand he held his lighter which he clicked open and closed in a steady rhythm.

Dawn slowly walked over to him. He made no sign that he was aware she was there, or that she was approaching him, but she knew he knew she was there. She kneeled in front of him her hand closing over his left hand silencing the clicking.

Spike finally looked at her, and Dawn could see her own fear reflected in his eyes�the eyes of a demon.

�You�re afraid too,� Dawn quietly said.

Spike didn�t bother denying it, and Dawn almost wished he would. If he wasn�t afraid then maybe she had nothing to be afraid of either. What was it Xander said once�when scary things get scared, not good. Spike being scared was definitely not good.

�What are your dreams about?� Dawn asked finally letting go of his hand.

Spike looked at her and she could tell he was debating whether to lie to her. She didn�t think it was because he was protecting her, but rather protecting himself like she was doing.

�Her blood,� he answered and Dawn knew he was telling the truth, but only half the truth just like her.

Dawn sat back bringing her knees up mimicking Spike�s position. �Can I stay here with you?� she asked her voice sounding very much like that of a little girl�s.

Spike nodded, and Dawn crawled across the floor to sit beside him. Spike lifted his arm and pulled her close to him allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence neither wanting to sleep, but eventually both falling victim to their exhaustion.

For the first time since Buffy�s death Dawn did not dream of anything.

~*~*~*~

Her flesh was soft and warm beneath his hands as they glided over her body. He could feel her blood pulsing under his touch�she was so alive. He ran his hands over her hips as they arched upwards begging for more. Spike lowered his head running his cold tongue over her abdomen tasting the sweetness of her skin.

Wanting more, needing more, he licked his way up her stomach to the valley between her breasts, and up to her neck. He lapped at her pulse as it throbbed furiously with her quickened heartbeat. He sucked at the soft flesh of her neck his mouth suddenly filling with her blood.

The instant he tasted her blood, Spike tried to pull away, but she held him to her neck. Fear coursed through Spike as the blood flowed into his mouth�taunting him�enticing him. Spike fought against her and his demon not to drink it, to get away from it. His nails raked at her flesh making it bleed, but only causing her to hold him to her even tighter. Her blood flowed freely, uncontrollably, spilling down her neck.

�Drink,� she demanded in a lust filled moan.

Spike bit into her neck savagely causing her to gasp and release him. Free from her hold Spike threw himself off of her. She cried out in anguish as he continued to fall with nothing underneath him to stop him.

Spike closed his eyes as he free fell into an unknown abyss, and then he stopped. Not opening his eyes Spike dangled in the air suspended by an unseen force. He felt nothing around him except emptiness. Spike didn�t move as he waited for what was to come next.

He didn�t have to wait long before he felt her hair tickling his face and her fingers scraping down his chest. Spike opened his eyes slowly and found himself staring into her eyes. She smiled down at him as she floated above him a backdrop of sparkling blue stars behind her. She lowered her head to his chest, and her tongue darted out to lick the trail of blood left by her nails. Spike couldn�t control the groan that escaped his lips as her actions had a profound effect on him.

She entwined her fingers through his and then they started falling again. Spike couldn�t take his eyes off of her naked body as they tumbled through the sky.

�Close your eyes Spike.�

Her voice reached him as if carried on a breeze. He hesitated for only a moment before surrendering to her wish. He closed his eyes, and as soon as he did he felt the earth beneath him again. He reached out for her but felt nothing. He slowly opened his eyes fearing what he would find. He found himself lying on the floor of the Summer�s living room.

Confused Spike slowly stood up looking around him. A wave of panic washed over him when he saw the trail of blood. He sprinted out of the room and up the stairs following the bloody path. At the top of the stairs he suddenly stopped as a new sense of fear rushed through him. It wasn�t her blood. Spike crept down the hallway to Buffy�s room instinctively knowing that was where the blood was taking him.

He stopped in front of her door looking at his feet where he stood in a pool of blood. Taking an unneeded breath, Spike pushed open the door. He froze in the doorway, the horror before his eyes unfathomable to him.

�Will you drink it now?� she asked, as she stood by the bed still completely naked as she peered down at Dawn�s mutilated body lying on the bed.

~*~*~*~

Spike sat on the rooftop outside of Buffy�s window cigarette dangling from in between his fingers. The sun had just gone down, and Dawn was sleeping peacefully inside, or at least from what he could observe. His dreams had been bad before, but his latest one had finally been too much. He had cried when he had awoken holding Dawn tightly to him.

Spike was at a loss. His dreams were making him crazy, and he couldn�t take it anymore. He had to go talk to Giles tonight. He had to make them stop, and Giles was the only person who might be able to help him do that. Spike crushed his cigarette out against the sole of his boot before tossing it off the roof.

He crawled back into the window, and found Dawn still asleep on the floor a small smile on her face. At least she was sleeping soundly and hopefully without any dreams. Spike watched her as she slept wondering if he should wake her before he left. He didn�t want to just leave without her knowing it. She would think he abandoned her, but he hated the idea of waking her when she was probably getting the first good sleep in weeks.

Dawn opened her eyes suddenly as if she knew he might leave her. Spike gave her a reassuring smile.

�Did you have a nice sleep?� he asked.

Dawn sat up, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. �I didn�t dream.�

�Then that�s a good sleep.�

�Were you leaving?� she asked with a hint of accusation in her voice.

�I was waiting for you to get up,� Spike answered. �I�m not going to abandon you Little Bit.�

Dawn started to say something, but stopped. �Can I go with you?� Spike hesitated and Dawn rushed on. �Never mind. It�s okay you have vampire things to do I�m sure.�

�I�m going to talk to Giles,� Spike informed her.

�About your dreams?� Dawn asked surprised that he would want to talk to Giles about them.

Spike nodded. �Figured if any bloke knew how to stop them it would be him.�

�You had another one.� Spike slowly nodded. �What was it about?�

�The same,� Spike replied quickly.

He didn�t want to tell Dawn about his dream. He couldn�t tell Dawn about his dream. She didn�t need to hear that. His fear for Dawn�s safety was one of the things driving him to seek Giles� help. Yes he wanted the dreams to stop for fear that he would go mad, but he also wanted to protect Dawn. His last dream had made him fear for her life.

Dawn fixed him with a cold gaze. She knew he was lying. �Why won�t you tell me?�

Spike sighed. �Some things you�re better off not knowing.�

Dawn threw her hands in the air in frustration. �Great now you�re going to treat me like a child too.�

�I just want to protect you,� Spike argued.

�Like you did that night Spike?� she asked her voice hard, and biting.

Spike eyes flashed yellow as anger shot through him. He tried to control it, but found he couldn�t. She had hit him where it hurt the most�his failure to protect Dawn leading to Buffy�s death. The smooth contours of his face changed into harsh ridges and his fangs elongated. Dawn didn�t move.

Spike growled shaking his head and as quickly as they appeared his vampire features melted away and his eyes flickered from yellow to blue. His anger was replaced by pain. He took a step towards Dawn, but she did not back away.

�You want to know what my dream was about?� Dawn nodded stubbornly, and Spike took another step towards her. �Okay then. There was blood. A lot of blood. She wanted me to drink it. She wanted me to drink her blood.�

Dawn interrupted, �Did you?�

�No, but she kept at it she did.� Spike took another step towards Dawn so that he was as close as he could get without actually touching her. �She left me a trail of blood to follow�not hers though.�

�Who�s?� Dawn asked in a whisper.

Spike leaned in so that his lips were right by Dawn�s ear. �Yours.�

Spike could feel the tremble that went through Dawn at his words, but he didn�t stop. �She killed you�ripped your body to bits.� Spike grabbed Dawn by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. �Is that what you wanted to hear?� he growled.

Tears poured down Dawn�s face, and she shook her head though no words came out of her mouth. Spike let go of her shoulders, and took a step back from her.

�Some things you�re better off not knowing,� Spike repeated.

Dawn sniffled and Spike�s face softened. He hadn�t wanted to hurt her. He really hadn�t. Sure she had made him extremely angry, but he hadn�t told her about his dream as revenge. No, he had told her because she would never trust him if he held back. She wanted and needed him to be real, and he would be real for her even if she didn�t like it, and he didn�t like it.

Dawn wiped the tears from her eyes, and she took a few deep breaths before quietly admitting, �In my dreams she tries to kill me.�

Spike was taken a back by this. �What?�

It was a rhetorical question as Spike heard exactly what she said.

~*~*~*~

Dawn watched Spike silently as her previous words hung heavily in the air. In my dreams she tries to kill me. It was the truth�the ugly horrible truth, and she had verbalized it. It was out there and it couldn�t be ignored now.

Dawn could see the shock on Spike�s face�the confusion�the disbelief. Dawn�s stomach churned as uneasiness swept over her. What if he didn�t believe her? What if he believed Buffy? Dawn�s lower lip began to tremble again, but she forced herself not to cry. She wasn�t going to cry anymore. She had cried a million tears and they had done her no good.

Dawn lifted her head and looked at Spike silently challenging him to tell her she was wrong about her dreams. Spike closed his eyes, and when he opened them again they lacked the confusion from earlier. In its place was determination.

�I�m not going to let anyone hurt you.� Dawn opened her mouth, the inevitable question on the tip of her tongue, but Spike didn�t let her speak. �Not even her.�

Something passed between them at that moment, as they were both stripped naked of their protective walls. They had spoken the raw truth, admitted their deepest fears, and through that vulnerability they understood each other without having to speak another word. And for the first time in what seemed like forever Dawn believed. She believed Spike would protect her, and that everything would be okay. She believed in him; she trusted him.

The moment was shattered as the sound of the front door slamming reverberated upstairs. They both turned to look at the door, as the only sound in the house was heavy footsteps on the stairs. As they got closer to Buffy�s room, Spike turned to Dawn and took a hold of her arm.

�I have to go do something, but I�ll be back okay?�

Dawn looked up at Spike as she heard the sound of her name being called by her father and the opening of her bedroom door. He would check Buffy�s room next, and she really didn�t want him to find Spike in here. He wouldn�t understand, and Dawn had no way to explain Spike�s presence.

Dawn looked into Spike�s eyes, and she knew he would be back without a doubt. He would not leave her again. It sent a wave of comfort and strength through her. �I�ll be here,� Dawn whispered.

Spike held her gaze for a second longer, making sure she knew he was coming back, before he disappeared out of the window. The curtain was still moving gently from his exit when the door to Buffy�s room opened and light from the hallway spilled in.

�Dawn what are you doing?� Hank Summers asked.

Dawn turned away from the window, and faced her father as he stood in the doorway. She shrugged. �Nothing.�

Dawn watched as her father looked around Buffy�s room like he had never seen it before. He frowned slightly before remarking almost to himself, �We should pack this all up.�

Dawn stared at him with a mixture of astonishment and abhorrence. He said it like it meant nothing�like Buffy meant nothing. To him it may very well just be stuff to be packed away and forgotten, but to her it was all she had left. She may hate Buffy at times, and in her dreams Buffy may be trying to kill her, but she loved her still. Buffy was her sister, her blood; she couldn�t just pack her away as if she never existed.

Hank must have noticed the look in Dawn�s eyes, because he asked, �Honey what�s wrong?�

�I don�t want to leave,� Dawn whispered.

This took Hank by surprise. �What?�

�I don�t want to leave,� Dawn repeated her voice stronger and more confident.

Dawn waited, as Hank seemed to be searching for an answer. �I�m sorry Dawn. I know this is hard for you��

Dawn cut him off, frustration and anger seeping into her words. �You don�t know. You couldn�t possibly know. You don�t know me, or what my life has been like, or who I am. You know absolutely nothing.�

�Dawn don�t make this harder on yourself,� Hank warned his patience growing thin.

�Harder on myself?� Dawn asked incredulously. �Don�t you mean harder on you?�

�That�s enough young lady!� Hank shouted.

�Do you even see me?� Dawn asked refusing to suppress all the anger and frustration that had been building up inside of her and was now gushing out and on the verge of exploding. When Hank didn�t answer her question Dawn screamed, �Do you?�

Hank sighed and looked away from Dawn. He ran his fingers through his hair. �Dawn, I don�t need this right now. My nerves have been tried enough these past few weeks without you acting out.�

Hank�s words only succeeded in inflaming Dawn�s already red-hot anger, but instead of continuing to yell Dawn took a deep breath and calmly, almost too calmly, replied, �I�m sorry my grief is such an inconvenience.�

Dawn was fighting the urge to hit her father. She wanted to so badly. She wanted to just punch him, kick him, claw at him, make him hurt as much as he was making her hurt. Yet in a way Dawn couldn�t blame him. He had always been this way. He only had time for his daughters when it was convenient for him. Even before the divorce, he had been a father that was there to hug and kiss his girls when he walked in the door, but never listened to what they were saying before shutting himself in his study. He was the type of father, who told his daughters how proud he was of them, but never read their papers, or saw their artwork, or witnessed their accomplishments first hand. He was the type of father that saw his daughter�s Christmas presents for the first time on Christmas morning.

�Dawnie,� Hank started.

�Don�t call me that,� Dawn demanded through clenched teeth.

�What�s wrong with you?� Hank asked.

�What�s wrong with me? My mother is DEAD. My sister is DEAD. What the hell do you think is wrong with me?� Dawn screamed.

Dawn fought to hold back her tears. She wasn�t going to cry especially not in front of him. She dug her nails into her palm concentrating on the pain as her nails broke her skin. She wanted to be anywhere but here.

�I know you�re hurting Dawn, but what can I do? I can�t change anything. It�ll get better. Once we get to LA you can start over. Leave all the bad memories behind.�

�Bad memories? How are memories of Buffy and Mom bad?� Dawn asked in outrage.

�I just mean that�� Hank fumbled over his words clearly having no idea how to handle his daughter.

�These are the only real memories I have. I don�t want to leave them.�

�I�m sorry Dawn, but there�s nothing I can do. I can�t stay here, and you have to come with me.�

�No I don�t,� Dawn argued. �I could stay with Willow, or Giles.�

�That�s impossible. While I�m sure they are nice people, you�re only 14. You should be with your family.�

�They are my family. More than you.�

Hank reacted as if he�d been slapped. Dawn instantly felt both guilty, and satisfied. A part of her wanted to hurt him like he was hurting her, but another part of her clung desperately to the good memories of her father even if they were a lie.

Hank took a step back into the hallway. �Go to your room, and when you calm down we�ll talk.�

Hank turned and walked away leaving Dawn to stare at the empty doorway. She let out a single sob, but did not shed any tears. She refused to cry over that man. She unclenched her fists and looked down at her bloody palms. She didn�t even feel the pain.

Part 3

Spike kneeled down on the soft earth his knees sinking slightly into the dirt where grass was just beginning to grow over her grave. He had avoided her grave until tonight. He reached out his hand tracing the engraved letters of her name. Buffy Anne Summers. He had never known her middle name was Anne until tonight. It was just another thing he never got to learn about her until her death. Despite how much he knew he loved her, he also knew he didn�t know that much about her life. He didn�t know what her favorite color was, or if she cried at sappy movies, or what she ate for breakfast, or if she sang in the shower.

�What are you doing to me Summers? I�m a bloody mess.� Spike sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He brought his hands down resting his palms against the dirt digging his fingers into the earth. He shouldn�t have come here. It was too much. He had so many questions and he thought he might find the answers here, but all he found was more pain. The idea of Buffy�s body lying beneath the earth decomposing was too agonizing for him to bear.

But he couldn�t tear himself away. It was some sick perversion�a torture he was forcing himself to endure because he had to tell her something. Spike took a deep unneeded breath.

�What am I supposed to do Buffy?� A few stray tears slipped down his cheeks as silence surrounded him his question having no answer. �I just don�t know what to do. No one does really. I don�t think you knew exactly how much you meant to the people in your life. You were the strong one. The one everyone depended on to make things right. You held everyone together�they need you.� Spike paused before adding in a choked whisper, �I need you.�

A gust of wind whipped around Spike�s body though only seconds before the night air had been perfectly still. Spike shivered, as the wind seemed to invade his body, and then it stopped. The night was still again and Spike started to think he imagined it.

�I think I�m going bloody crazy luv,� Spike declared with a deranged laugh before asking, �But you always thought I was out of my mind didn�t you?� Spike�s voice became lucid as he continued. �Yet the sanest thing I ever did was love you. It was inevitable you know. Nothing either of us could have done would have stopped it, and I don�t regret it�not for one second�not even now,� Spike�s voice lowered and he let out a strangled sigh. �I miss you Buffy.�

In the distance a rumbling broke through the night and Spike looked upwards. The full moon shone down on him, but there wasn�t a single cloud in the sky. Spike looked back to Buffy�s headstone.

�I think the bloody world is ending. Is that what the dreams are about? Mine and Dawn�s?� he questioned knowing he would get no answer. �Just tell me what to do?� he begged his voice getting desperate as a clap of thunder erupted in the sky.

�You know what to do.�

Spike froze as her voice came to him as a whisper on an invisible wind. �Buffy,� he whispered acknowledging the voice for the first time.

The sky lit up as a bolt of lighting tore through the night. Spike fell backwards as the lightening crashed down on Buffy�s headstone shattering it into hundreds of little pieces. The chunks of marble rained down on Spike and he covered his head with his hands as the air around him crackled with electricity and the ground vibrated from the impact.

�Buffy,� Spike cried into the night, but it was swallowed by the wail unfurled by the night as it was ripped open and a torrent of rain unleashed.

The water pounded down on Spike quickly soaking through his clothes. The ground beneath him quickly became saturated and his knees sunk into the mud. He lifted his head and through the onslaught of rain he saw the empty space where Buffy�s headstone used to be and the ground around it littered with its pieces. Spike let out a scream that quickly turned into anguished sobbing.

His body shook, as he couldn�t stop the tears that came. He didn�t know if he was crying out of fear, frustration, or agony. It was probably all three. The air around him was ominously heavy, and he knew something was going to happen, and it wasn�t something good. He had been around long enough to know the signs of impending doom. Thoughts of Dru crept out from the place in his mind he had locked them away in. She always saw everything first, and he wondered if wherever she was she could see what was to come. Spike never thought about it, but Dru�s premonitions were oddly comforting.

He felt a pair of arms wrap around his back, and he struggled against them. Panic coursed through him as he tried to fight whatever was grabbing at him. They fell down into the mud struggling and blinded by the curtain of rain.

�Spike, it�s me,� Dawn shouted over the roar of the falling rain.

Spike barely heard her, but he did hear her and stopped struggling. He focused his eyes on her. She was lying in the mud underneath him her hair plastered in weird patterns over her face, but it was her. A sense of relief washed over him, and he buried his head into her neck and let his tears flow.

All of a sudden their roles were reversed. Dawn was the one comforting him, and making him feel safe. Spike didn�t let himself think about it. He didn�t want to think about how exposed he was letting himself be in front of her. All he cared about was that she was here. He didn�t know what was coming, but whatever it was at least he didn�t have to face it alone.

~*~*~*~

They made the trip to the Magic Box in silence both knowing that�s where they were going without having to verbalize it. Spike held her hand in his as the rain continued to beat down on them washing the mud off of their clothes, their faces, and out of their hair.

She had found him at Buffy�s grave like she knew she would. When he had left her house earlier she had known that was where he was going. When she had gotten there what she saw frightened her. Buffy�s headstone was shattered, and Spike was in tears. Dawn didn�t know what had happened, but she knew it wasn�t good. In fact she knew it had to be pretty bad. She was filled with a sense of dread at that moment, and hadn�t been able to shake it since. She sensed the same feelings in Spike. She only hoped Giles would be able to shed some light on what was happening. Knowing was half the battle wasn�t it?

They stopped right in front of the door of the Magic Box finally sheltered from the rain. Dawn looked up towards Spike and found him looking down at her. She didn�t know what they were going to say to Giles, and she really hoped Spike would do most of the talking, but Dawn sensed Spike was also hoping the same thing from her. Spike gave her hand a squeeze, an act Dawn mimicked before he dropped her hand and opened the door.

The bell above the door sounded as they walked through the door their sodden clothes leaving puddles of water on the floor. Giles looked up from where he was sitting at a table reading a book and upon seeing Dawn and Spike, soaked clean through, standing in the doorway, he closed his book and stood up.

�Dawn, did something happen?� he asked in alarm.

Dawn took a few steps towards Giles leaving Spike�s side. Giles looked from Dawn to Spike and back to Dawn again in confused questioning.

�Are you okay?� Giles asked as panic crept into his words.

Dawn could only shake her head no as she didn�t know what to say. Physically she was fine, but she was far from okay emotionally. Giles walked towards Dawn keeping his eye on Spike warily.

�What�s wrong Dawn?� Giles asked.

�Something bloody strange is happening,� Spike answered for her as he walked up to stand beside her.

Giles looked to Spike his concern for Dawn growing. �What do you mean exactly?�

�For starters it�s bloody pouring outside,� Spike answered his voice rising in frustration.

�Yes I noticed that, but it could just be an odd weather pattern,� Giles replied trying to stay calm.

�An odd weather pattern that just happens to send a bolt right to Buffy�s grave?� Spike challenged.

Giles� face clouded over with uneasiness. �What was that?�

�I was standing at Buffy�s grave, not a cloud in the sky, and the bleeding sky erupts. Shattered her headstone to little bits it did.�

Giles removed his glasses as he tried to process what Spike had just said. He pulled the handkerchief from his pocket, and wiped the lenses as he spoke, �What were you doing at her grave?�

Spike looked down. �Just paying my respects.�

Giles watched Spike suspiciously and Dawn, sensing his apprehension in believing Spike�s story, finally spoke. �It happened Giles. Just like Spike said.�

Giles looked to Dawn as he pocketed his handkerchief and replaced his glasses on the brim of his nose. �You were there?�

Dawn nodded knowing it was technically a lie, but it wasn�t really. She knew Spike was telling the truth, and she knew why Giles was wary of believing him. Giles thought Spike was trying to resurrect Buffy. Right after Buffy�s death, Spike had been fanatical about bringing Buffy back pushing the Watcher to do something, so Dawn understood Giles� suspicions. With Buffy gone, Dawn knew the others didn�t trust Spike thinking Buffy had been the only thing keeping him on their side. Now that she was gone, they didn�t know what to think of Spike or his motivations.

�Go get your books,� Spike impatiently demanded.

Giles stammered slightly, �It�s not that simple. It could be one of a hundred things. I need more to go on then just strange weather.�

�Tell him about the dreams,� Dawn whispered to Spike, but Giles heard.

�What dreams?� he asked apprehensively though with curiosity as well.

Spike sighed, and Dawn knew he wasn�t ready to talk about them even though earlier he had expressed every intention of telling Giles. She knew how hard it was to confess the entirety of the dreams. She had barely been able to tell Spike the truth, but they had to tell Giles. He was the only one who held any hope of figuring out what they meant.

�I�ve been having these dreams,� Spike paused before adding, �about Buffy.�

�What kind of dreams?� Giles pushed.

Spike walked past Giles and started pacing nervously. �I don�t really understand them. She talks to me.�

�What does she say?� Giles interrupted.

Spike fumbled in his pocket for his pack of smokes not answering Giles. Locating them, he pulled the pack out and removed a cigarette placing it between his lips before he started searching for his lighter.

Dawn walked further into the room and sat down at the table suddenly feeling very exhausted. Lack of sleep, lack of food, her dreams, and everything that had happened with her father and Spike that night had finally caught up with her. Her body felt heavy, and her head hurt. She rested her arms on the table and laid her head on them. She closed her eyes, and faintly heard the click of Spike�s lighter before everything went black.

It started out quietly at first hardly more then a whisper.

�Hush little baby don�t say a word.�

The softly sung words became clearer as they seemed to move towards Dawn.

�Mama�s going to buy you a mockingbird.�

Memories flooded over Dawn as the words caressed her in the vast blackness. Dawn was carried to a time she technically never lived, but one she remembered as if it happened yesterday. She was nine years old again, and lying in her bed at night.

�And if that mockingbird don't sing.�

In the living room she could hear her parents screaming at each other, she could feel the tears trailing down her cheeks, and she could feel the hand brushing through her hair.

�Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring.�

The hand moved through her hair brushing it back from her tear-streaked face.

�And if that diamond ring turns brass.�

The words soothed Dawn, and her tears stopped. She felt safe as the hand continued to brush through her hair.

�Mama's going to buy you a looking glass.�

Dawn turned slightly to look behind her at the person making her feel so protected and loved.

�And if that looking glass gets broke.�

Buffy smiled down at her, and Dawn smiled back. If Buffy was there everything would be okay.

�Mama's going to buy you a billy goat.�

Buffy reached behind her and Dawn watched as she picked up a pillow.

�Hush little baby don�t say a word.�

And then the blackness returned.

~*~*~*~

Spike took one last drag of his cigarette before dropping it to the ground and stomping it out. Giles didn�t even flinch at Spike�s action. He was sitting at the table in shocked silence. Spike pulled out another smoke, and quickly lit it. He had lost count of how many he had chained smoked since he had been telling Giles about the dreams.

Spike watched Giles wishing he would say something. His silence was annoying Spike more then when he was asking twenty billion questions. Spike began to pace anxiously. It had been difficult to tell the Watcher about his dreams. Here he was the big bad reduced to seeking out a retired librarian for answers on how to stop his nightmares. It was ridiculous really, and yet it had to be done. Not only for his sanity; but also for Dawn.

Spike stopped pacing, and looked at the young girl. She was sleeping with her head resting on her arms. She looked peaceful. Spike hoped she wasn�t dreaming. When he had seen that she had dozed off he contemplated waking her, but she looked so serene he couldn�t bring himself to do it. So instead he told Giles everything always keeping his eye on Dawn to make sure she was okay. The minute he thought she was having another dream he would wake her up.

Spike moved his gaze from Dawn to Giles who was sitting across the table from her. He looked shell shocked. This wasn�t a good sign. He knew Giles had undoubtedly seen and heard just about everything in his tenure as a Watcher, so seeing the man stunned into silence was not a good omen.

�Well?� Spike prodded trying to get the Watcher to snap out of it.

�I don�t really�I mean this is a lot of information to�� Giles� voice faded out.

Spike ran his hand through his hair in frustration. �Look I know this is bloody confusing, and all that, but something is going on, and if we don�t do something Little Bit over there,� Spike pointed to Dawn�s sleeping form, �is going to die.�

�We can�t be sure Dawn is in danger,� Giles replied and Spike could tell he more wished that statement to be true then he believed it to be true.

�The only bloody thing I do know is that she is in danger,� Spike shouted.

As if on cue, Dawn let out a strangled gasp. Her head shot up and she started coughing and choking air into her lungs. Spike was kneeling by her side in an instant. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and held her as her body convulsed as she forced air into her deprived lungs.

�Dawn, are you okay?� Giles asked and Spike finally realized he was kneeling on the other side of her looking at her extremely concerned. Dawn only nodded, and Giles asked, �Was it another dream?�

�Of course it was another bloody dream,� Spike shouted a little more harshly then he intended.

�She was there. She tried to�� Dawn�s voice trailed off, as she couldn�t say it.

�Everything�s alright now. I�m here,� Spike said soothingly brushing her hair from her face.

Dawn yanked her head away from Spike at his touch. Spike�s hand recoiled away in confusion. He started to ask her what was wrong, but she stood up abruptly.

�Don�t touch me,� she whispered fearfully before shoving her chair back and running for the door.

Spike stared after her in shock, as he was unable to comprehend what he could have possibly done to make her run away from him. He felt a rush of failure as the reality that she didn�t feel safe with him anymore crashed through him. Without a glance at Giles, Spike stood up and ran after Dawn.

He stopped right outside the door of the Magic Box as he found Dawn sitting on the ground her back resting against the wall and her knees drawn up to her chin protectively. She didn�t look up at Spike as the door slammed shut behind him. Spike peered out into the night noting that the rain had stopped and the moon was again shining brightly down on them making the wet sidewalk glisten.

�I have nowhere to go,� Dawn said quietly.

�Come back inside,� Spike urged.

�She�s always there,� Dawn continued as if she hadn�t heard him. �Making me feel safe and then�� Dawn stopped. �I can�t run away�I can�t hide�� Dawn looked up at Spike her brown eyes liquid with unshed tears. �It�s going to happen. Sooner or later I�m not going to wake up.�

Spike knelt down beside her, but didn�t touch her. He really didn�t know what to say. He didn�t want to admit to Dawn that he thought she was right. That he couldn�t fight her dreams.

�Why Spike? Why is she doing this?� Dawn asked desperately.

�I don�t know,� Spike answered helplessly.

He felt helpless and it was a feeling he was none to happy with. There wasn�t a demon for him to fight and without a tangible evil his hands were tied. He didn�t know what to do and he had no answers for Dawn. There was nothing he could even say at this point to make her feel better. He couldn�t even bring himself to tell her he�d protect her, because he knew he couldn�t really.

Dawn stood up and walked away. Spike could tell she wasn�t trying to get away from him. She was just walking, and he stood up slowly and followed her. The streets of Sunnydale were deserted, the citizens of the town actually seemed to have grown a few brain cells and had abandoned the dangerous streets that night.

They walked in silence with no destination and Spike turned over Dawn�s question in his mind. Why was Buffy doing this? She was dead for one, but some how she was very much alive in their dreams, but was it really Buffy? Was it his Buffy, the woman he loved more then his own life that was trying to kill Dawn? He had assured Dawn he wouldn�t let Buffy hurt her, but could he hurt Buffy to protect Dawn?

The questions wouldn�t go away, and Spike dug into his coat extracting his pack of cigarettes. He quickly lit one inhaling deeply. Spike dropped his hand as they continued to walk in silence. He felt her hand brush against his as she removed the cigarette from his grasp. He was going to protest, but instead watched as she brought it to her mouth and took a drag. She exhaled slowly as if she had done it before.

�Those things will kill you,� he softly warned.

�I�m going to die anyways,� Dawn shot back though there was no malice in her voice.

�You are not going to die.�

�I wish I could believe that.�

Spike stopped walking, as he grew infuriated with her fatalistic attitude. Dawn stopped and faced him her eyes begging him to prove her wrong some how, but he couldn�t. There was nothing he could say that would sound convincing.

�When I fall asleep again, will you hold me?� Dawn asked. �I don�t want to die alone.�

Spike grabbed her arm. �You�re not alone, and you�re not going to die. I�ll figure out something.� Dawn looked at him disbelievingly. �I will. I promised I would protect to you to till the end of the world and I am not going to break that promise.�

�You made that promise to her, and she wants me dead now.�

�No she doesn�t. Buffy died to save you. She does not want you dead. Whatever is in your dreams it is not Buffy,� Spike said his voice growing harsh as he defended his dead love.

�I knew you�d take her side,� Dawn responded angrily.

�Do you really believe Buffy wants you dead?� Spike demanded.

�What else am I suppose to believe,� Dawn asked her voice rising in frustrated anger.

�That I�d do anything to protect you. Anything.�

�What if that�s not enough?� Dawn asked her voice slightly trembling.

She met Spike�s eyes and he wanted to look away. He was looking into the eyes of death, but he forced himself to not look away.

�Then we�ll both die.�

~*~*~*~

Dawn watched Spike out of the corner of her eye. They were sitting on the roof of her house outside of Buffy�s room, and he was smoking yet another cigarette. Dawn thought about reaching for it again, but didn�t. She wasn�t a smoker, and though she had been casually smoking since Buffy�s death she suddenly realized how absurd it was�how absurd everything she had been doing was. Dressing up in Buffy�s clothes and meeting different boys late at night to drink and smoke and just lose herself. She couldn�t lose herself though. When she woke up the next morning she was still Dawn. She was still the key.

Dawn played with the hem of her shirt as she stared out into the paling night. Sunrise was coming soon and they would have to go inside, or at least Spike would, which meant she would too. She didn�t want to be far away from him. As much as she felt like she was going to die regardless, she did feel safer close to him.

But she also didn�t want to be in her house. Her earlier argument with her father replayed in her mind, and she knew she didn�t belong with Hank Summers. She was not his burden to bear. She had nowhere else to go though. She could of course go to Giles� or Willow�s, but they would baby her. She knew they didn�t mean any harm by it, and only wanted to protect her, but she didn�t want to be watched right now, or hovered over like a freak about to lose her mind even if it was close to the truth.

Dawn wondered if Spike would let her stay with him. Not that she relished the prospect of living in his crypt, but it beat moving to LA with her dad. Her dad would never allow it of course unless he never knew. She could run away. She wouldn�t be running far, but the last place Hank Summers would look for his missing daughter was a dirty old crypt. Then again Willow would know that�s were she probably was. Willow had told her she should go with her dad. She knew it wasn�t because Willow didn�t care, or didn�t want to be burdened with her. Willow just thought being with her father was the best place for a 14-year-old girl to be.

She would be fifteen soon. Her birthday was in a few weeks�July 30th to be exact. Not that being fifteen gave her any more rights, or freedoms, but it still would be nice to be a little bit older. Technically she felt much older then fifteen, but in reality no one cared about that. They only paid attention to the number of years she had lived, which in her case wasn�t even applicable. She had been alive less then a year, but considering everything she had been through she felt like she was fourteen going on forty.

Dawn glanced at Spike. She felt shy all of a sudden. It was silly really considering everything they had shared recently, and everything she had already asked or told him, but for some reason asking to go back to his crypt with him right now was making her nervous. Maybe it was because she was afraid he would say no, but then again she didn�t even believe that. She had a suspicion that he would not deny her anything right now. She didn�t know what it was. She looked away, and she felt Spike turn his head to look at her.

�What is it?� he asked.

�I don�t want to stay here tonight,� Dawn admitted.

�Where do you want to go?� Spike asked.

Dawn looked back to Spike. �Can we stay at your crypt?�

Spike seemed a little surprised by her request. �If you want.� Dawn nodded, and Spike looked out to the disappearing night. �Okay then we best get going �don�t want to burst into flames or anything.�

Spike stood up and offered his hand to Dawn, which she accepted.

�Just let me get a few things,� Dawn said and slipped into Buffy�s room.

She crept silently through the room and out into the hallway. She paused in the doorway checking for any signs of her father. Seeing nor hearing any, she continued to her room. She quickly threw some clothes into a backpack, and added her journal not wanting to leave it for her father to possibly find. She hastily grabbed her toothbrush from the bathroom before heading back to Buffy�s room. As she passed through the room towards the window her eyes fell onto Buffy�s bed. She paused to pick the stuffed pig off the bed before climbing through the window and back out onto the roof.

�Let�s go,� Dawn ordered as soon as she set foot onto the roof.

Spike led the way and Dawn followed him down the side of the house. As they crossed the lawn, Dawn didn�t look back. She knew she was never coming back here. She had made up her mind. She clutched Mr. Gordo to her chest as she trailed behind Spike. She knew what Spike had said earlier was true. Buffy loved her, and had given her life to save Dawn�s. At least the Buffy Dawn remembered. The Buffy that was dead. The Buffy alive in her dreams was someone or something else entirely.

~*~*~*~

Spike held Dawn in his arms as they lay on the top of his tomb. He knew she was tired. She had been nodding off all day, but he had kept her awake, but now exhaustion was seizing them both. In his gut Spike knew something was making them sleepy. He could stay awake for days at a time without any trouble, but now he felt his lids getting heavy against his will.

He fought it with everything he had, and he knew Dawn was doing the same. She was being so strong, and Spike knew in his undead heart that he did love her, and not just because she was Buffy�s sister. She was extraordinary on her own. His affection for her was completely innocent. She needed him and that was something Spike had always needed. He craved being needed.

�Don�t let me fall asleep,� Dawn begged quietly.

�I won�t,� Spike promised.

They just had to last a little longer. The sun would set soon and they could go back to Giles� and hopefully the Watcher would have some answers. Just a little bit longer Spike told himself as his eyes fell closed.

His eyes snapped open when he heard the creaking of his crypt door. He was instantly on his feet ready to fight the intruder if need be. The last light of the day spilled into the crypt as the door swung open, and Buffy appeared. Surrounded by light she approached Spike and he stood staring at her in stunned silence. Spike didn�t know if he was dreaming or not. She seemed like a vision to him. A beautiful sublime vision as her blond hair fell softly in waves around her face, and her simple white dress clung to her body the light behind her making the material transparent.

Spike was transfixed by her as she glided towards him ending up just inches away. Spike hesitatingly lifted his hand wanting to touch her, needing to feel if she was real, but he withdrew his hand when he saw her glance behind him with a small smile on his face. Spike tensed as protectiveness of Dawn rose inside of him. He quickly glanced behind him and saw Dawn curled up asleep.

�Thank you.�

Spike�s attention snapped back to Buffy, and he stammered, �For what?�

�For keeping your promise.�

Spike was rendered speechless an occurrence only Buffy seemed to be able to evoke in him. His defenses evaporated at her words of gratitude, and confusion clouded his mind. This wasn�t the Buffy taunting him in his dreams, and not the Buffy tormenting Dawn in hers. This Buffy was the woman he loved.

�Buffy,� he whispered his voice filled with emotion.

Buffy reached out her hand and rested it on his arm. His skin heated up instantly at her touch and Spike was convinced this wasn�t dream even though in the back of his mind he still had a nagging suspicion it was, but he ignored it, as he desperately wanted it to be real.

�You�re real,� he sighed.

Her thumb gently caressed his skin as she nodded yes to his question. Spike closed his eyes as the sensations overwhelmed him. He counted to ten before opening them again. She was still there looking up at him and he saw something in her eyes that made him believe her.

He reached out to her softly touching her cheek needing to feel her. She didn�t move from his touch, and his disbelief melted into happiness.

�You�re really here.�

He suddenly grabbed Buffy to him into a tight embrace. His arms wrapped around her petite muscular body crushing it against his. He lowered his head to her neck burying it in her soft curls. She smelled like apple blossoms a smell he was all too familiar with. Her heart beat against his chest, and the sound made Spike feel like everything was going to be okay. When he felt her arms weave around him and her hand glide through his hair he was sure everything was gong to be okay.

Then he smelled the blood. He knew immediately whose blood it was, and that everything was not okay. Before he could react, he felt Buffy�s lips on his. Soft and warm her lips caressed his and his mind started swimming. The smell of blood became more intense, but so did her kiss as her tongue explored his mouth and Spike instinctively reciprocated. He had dreamed of kissing her so many times and it was actually happening. A real kiss�not a peck of gratitude like before and not mechanical and cold like the robot. It was commanding and sweet at the same time, and Spike didn�t want to fight it even though in the pit of his stomach he knew something was very wrong.

Buffy ground her hips against his, and Spike�s whole body reacted to her movement. Spike felt his skin breaking as her nails dug into his scalp and back. The pain sent shockwaves of desire shooting through him. He pulled her closer to him as his hand entwined in her hair and he pulled her head back. He kissed her neck trailing his tongue over the smooth flesh and feeling her pulse beating beneath her skin.

�Spike,� they both called out to him.

One voice was a tantalizing, breathless moan that vibrated down his spine. The other was a whispered cry filled with fear and pain. Their voices mingled together�one indistinguishable from the other. They were calling out to him�begging him to choose. Choose�there was a choice here. Reality crashed in on Spike and the smell of her blood assaulted him making him sick. He wrenched away from Buffy so suddenly she couldn�t stop him. Buffy reached out for him but he was already at her side.

She was covered in blood. So much blood that Spike had no idea where it was coming from. Her eyes were open and she was staring up at Spike pleading with him to save her. He did the first thing that came to him. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her.

�Wake up�Dawn wake up,� he screamed.

It had to be a dream. It had to be otherwise he couldn�t stop it. He wouldn�t be able to save her. He shook her harder screaming as he begged her to wake up.

�She�s not sleeping,� Buffy told him.

Spike ignored her. �Wake up Dammit,� he demanded growing angry, frustrated, and scared.

The ground started shaking beneath them. Spike held on to Dawn ignoring the quaking surrounding them, and forgetting about Buffy. He was focused solely on the girl in his arms. Candles fell from their holders, cracks erupted in the stone of the crypt, and a loud roar drowned out Spike�s frantic pleas as the earth continued to groan and tremble beneath them.

And then it stopped as suddenly as it started. An eerie silence blanketed them and even Spike didn�t break it by speaking. He held Dawn�s body to his her blood soaking through his shirt. The tears came suddenly, and violently. The world had stopped moving, but Spike�s body shook with silent sobs at first and then his agonizing cries reverberated in the crypt shattering the silence.

�Shhh,� she quietly murmured.

Spike froze as his sobs instantly subsided at the sound of her voice. Disoriented, he pulled away from Dawn. He didn�t know if he was dreaming or not anymore. He didn�t know what was real or what wasn�t. He didn�t know anything, not even if Dawn was okay.

He looked down at Dawn and his eyes widened when he saw all the blood. His eyes moved over her body quickly, but all he saw was blood. It was everywhere soaking her clothes, covering her skin, and smeared across her face. Blood trickled down from her eyes, nose, ears, and mouth. But she was still alive. Her chest rose and fell with the steady rhythm of her breathing. Spike reached out towards her and his hands ran over her body searching for a wound, but he found none.

�Where is it coming from?� he asked himself more then her.

But she answered, �It�s over.�

Spike abruptly stopped. �What?�

�My blood. That�s what she wanted. She wanted my blood�her blood,� Dawn answered her voice distant and disconnected.

Spike looked at her thoroughly confused. He knew she meant Buffy, but he still didn�t know if this was a dream or not, and regardless he didn�t know why Buffy would want Dawn�s blood. Dawn wasn�t looking at him, and Spike was afraid she had gone mad. Her body swayed slightly and her eyes were glazed over and unfocused. The areas of her face not covered with blood were deathly pale. If her heart weren�t beating he�d say she was dead, but as it were he was afraid she had gone insane.

�And now she has it,� Dawn finished.

�Why?� Spike asked confused.

Dawn�s eyes became focused, and her voice became lucid. �She�s coming back.�

And then she passed out in his arms.

The End

Back to Main