'Till Death Do Us Part
by Babygirl

"Hell no, Slayer... I'm not your bleeding date."

"Spike, I don't mean "date" date. I'm just basically inviting you. So be ready by eight, got it?"

"And O'Connell?"

"Jarred? He's inviting a friend too."

"So, we're not going together."

"Of course not... I was just being --"

"Your annoyingly sarcastic self?"

"Right. So you'll come? I mean, it'll be the last time we really get to hang out, ya know?"

He thought about it for a moment.

"Yeah, I'll go."

"Thanks," she said, smiling.

Spike watched her as she began to walk away.

"Oh, and Slayer?"

Buffy turned around.

"About the other night... it didn't mean anything. I was just --"

"Don't worry about it," she told him.

He smiled at her and laid back down.

* * * * *

Eight o'clock came a lot sooner than Buffy expected. It the midst of trying to curl Dawn's hair, shave her legs, talk to Willow on the phone, and do her makeup, she sort of lost track of time. They didn't even leave the house until nine. She told Jarred she would meet him there, so he probably thought she was already dead and buried by now. Dawn whined the entire car ride, complaining about how unfair it was that Xander and Anya had to take her home at eleven, instead of staying out all night like everyone else. Buffy really wasn't in the mood for a party-deprived sister. And as soon as she pulled into the Bronze, she realized she had forgotten to pick up Spike. Just another inconvenience to add to her already ongoing list. She decided to make a quick appearance to let everyone know that she was still alive and breathing and to tell Jarred she would be right back. But, when Buffy walked in, she noticed Spike and Jarred conversing with each other at a nearby table. Conversing was the key word here. They weren't ripping each other's throats out, shocking as it may seem. She watched as Dawn skipped over to Spike.

"Come 'ere, Nibblet!" he called out to her.

She jumped into his arms and he gave her a big hug. Buffy couldn't help but smile at how friendly the two were. He was almost like a big brother to her.

Buffy walked over to their table, determined to find out what exactly the vampire and her fiancee were making small talk over.

As soon as Spike spotted her, he couldn't help but stare in awe at her beauty. She was wearing a short red dress with spaghetti straps and her hair fell elegantly over her shoulders. He smiled warmly at her as she approached.

"What are you two talking about?" Buffy asked.

Jarred stood up and gave her a sweet kiss on the mouth. Her eyes glistened with delight at his mere touch.

"Spike was just telling me about this onion thing... "

"Yeah," Spike agreed. "Jarred, here, gave me a ride... thought I owed it to him to suggest the menu."

"I see," she said, still unclear as to why Jarred would be within five feet of Spike, let alone give him a ride.

"So, I take it you guys are best friends now?" she asked.

"No," Jarred said.

Spike shook his head as well.

"Well, why are you guys talking to each other?"

They both simultaneously shrugged.

Thuroughly frustrated, Buffy gave up and strolled over to the refreshment table to greet her friends. They welcomed her with friendly smiles and hugs.

"God, I can't believe this is really happening, Will," Buffy told her friend.

Willow smiled and took her hand in hers.

"Buffy, if anyone deserves happiness, it's you."

Buffy smiled back, realizing it was, in fact, true. Her life had been nothing but Hell (literally) almost all of her life, and she owed it to herself to be happy. Even if it didn't last forever.

An hour passed, and Buffy basically just sat and watched as her friends mingled with one another. She was content, just sitting by herself, and letting all that was happening really sink in. Buffy didn't eat much when the food arrived. It all looked wonderful, from the steak to the flowering onion, as requested by Spike. Speaking of... she hadn't seen much him all evening.

Suddenly, Dawn ran up to her, an excited grin spread across her face.

"Buffy, check it out! Spike's break dancing!"

She nearly fell out of her chair. Spike? Dancing? Break dancing? Now this was something she had to see.

Preparing herself to go laugh her ass off, Buffy followed Dawn towards the dance floor. Sure enough, there was Spike, showing off his moves. Which he... surprisingly had. She had to blink twice, to make certain she wasn't seeing things. She didn't even think he could spin around two times without falling on his face, let alone dance the way he was doing so now. It was rather impressive. And what was even more shocking, was the fact that everyone was gathered around clapping and cheering him on! She was almost positive everyone would just stand there and laugh at him, but that definitely wasn't the case. Even Xander and Jarred began clapping in sync. After a few more minutes of watching him take over the dance floor with such grace and agility, she also decided to join in the acclaim.

When the beat finally died down, Spike stood up and took a bow. All the guests cheered and clapped for him. He noticed Buffy amongst the crowd and winked at her.

Buffy gazed upon the applauding crowd and then glanced over at Spike. He was looking at her. She gave him a small smile and he winked at her. As he did so, the weirdest thing happened. Was that... warm fuzzies she felt in the pit of her stomach? For Spike? Partially disgusted by the thought, she turned around and headed back to her seat. There was no way he was going to win her over by impressive dance moves, kind words, and stolen glances. He would never win her over, and that was that. It was just too wiggy... too weird... too wrong. Hello, getting married. Shouldn't even be thinking about this.

Buffy wrapped her arms around her and took a deep, much needed breath, just as a slow song came on. Her eyes silently searched the room for Jarred. She spotted him by the pool table with one of his buddies. Hopefully, he would ask her to dance. She needed to let off some steam.

Just as she was about to stand up, she watched as Spike approached Dawn with an extended hand. He was asking her to dance. And it had to be the cutest thing she'd seen all night. Buffy smiled brightly as Dawn giggled as Spike spun her around on the dance floor. Since when did a vampire have a knack for children? He was just unreal.

Not even realizing Jarred was standing there, she jumped back, startled by his sudden presence.

"I was going to ask you to dance," he told her. "But it seems you're having much more fun staring, googly-eyed, at your vampire pal."

"Jarred, of course I want to dance with you. And, no, I wasn't googly-eyed over Spike. I was just taking in how sweet he is with my sister."

Jarred smiled, assuring her he understood.

Buffy smiled back and put her small hand in the crook of his arm. He led her out to the dance floor and they swayed intimately together with the music being played. Unfortunately, the song was over before it even started. She looked up at her betrothed, but he had a distant look in his eyes, like there was some other place he'd rather be.

"Aren't you having a good time?" she asked him.

His gaze fell upon her.

"With you? Always."

She smiled and they broke apart as the song came to an end.

"I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat, is that OK with you?" Jarred questioned.

Buffy nodded.

He walked away and a sad smile played across her features as another slow song came on. She missed the protective embrace of Jarred. She sighed to herself and decided to go sit back down. But, before she could step off the dance floor, a hand came into view. She turned around to see Spike standing before her.

"May I have this dance, Summers?"

She paused for a moment before accepting, and smiled softly at his well-mannered tone. Sometimes she really forgot he was a vampire.

Spike pulled the blonde Slayer to him, and placed his hands gently on her hips. She hesitantly held onto his shoulders as they swayed to the music.

Buffy listened to the words of the song that directed their rhythm.

You gotta leave me now
You got to go alone
You gotta chase a dream
One that's all your own
Before it slips away

"You know, Buffy," Spike whispered in her ear. "I'm really going to miss you."

Buffy could feel the warm fuzzies again at the sound of his voice. What was wrong with her? Why was she suddenly feeling this way?

When you're flyin' high
Take my heart along
I'll be the harmony
To every lonely song
That you learn to play

"But I want you to know," he continued. "I'm always here for you, got it?"

He felt her head nod softly against his chest.

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down

Spike couldn't help but hold her closer. He wrapped his arms around her waist, waiting for her to push him away, but she didn't. The song lyrics echoed in his ears, as he let the feel of her take over his senses.

I'll keep lookin' up
Awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be
That you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire

"Spike?" she asked, her voice barely audible.

"Yes, love?"

"I want you to know that... I - I'll miss you too."

He smiled.

I'll be the other hand
That always holds the line
Connectin' in between
Your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

And I'll be on the other end
To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly
And if you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall

Buffy needed serious help. There she was, actually letting Spike hold her and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. At her engangement party! Of all the places...

She should just go. Walk out of there and never look at him again. Now.

Your memory's the sunshine
Every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

Well, the song was almost over, anyways... another minute wouldn't hurt.

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down

"Take care of yourself, Buffy."

Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down

He hugged her to him one last time, before he finally let her go.

Buffy stayed in his arms a heartbeat longer than necessary and took a step back from him. She was going to miss him more than he knew.

When you come back down

* * * * *

Buffy, reluctantly, let Dawn stay out until two in the morning with her and her friends. And you would think she'd be conked out by now... but no, she was very much awake and being more obnoxious than ever.

"It's OK, Buffy," Dawn told her, during the car ride home.

"Dawn, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you do. And don't think you have to feel guilty or anything. He's too old for me in the first place."

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"But, wait!" she continued. "I'll keep getting older, and he'll still stay the same age...."

Dawn smiled at her new-found intelligence.

"How cool is that."

"Dawnie, listen to me. I don't have feelings for Spike. I'm getting married, for Christ's sake."

"So?"

"So, I don't have feelings for Spike."

"Buffy, I may be a humanized ball of energy, but I'm not stupid. Please, it's so obvious you want each other. It's almost disgusting, really..."

"Shut up, you're giving me a headache."

"Just 'cause you're not ready to hear the truth, doesn't mean --"

Buffy slammed on the brakes, while Dawn looked at her wide-eyed.

"I don't, OK? Now let's drop the subject before I get really cranky."

Still, Dawn shook her head.

"Not until you admit it."

"There's nothing to admit!"

"I saw the way you two were dancing. And you, being all googly-eyed..."

"What the hell is with the googly-eyed nonsense?! My eyes are so not googled! Especially, not for Spike!"

"Lying will only make it worse, sis. Besides, you can't tell me that you're blind, 'cause I know you're not."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, Spike's hot. Don't tell me you haven't noticed."

"Spike's a vampire. I've noticed that."

Dawn frowned.

"A good-looking vampire!"

Buffy smacked her forehead against the steering wheel before looking back up at Dawn.

"Dawn --"

She was interrupted by the sound of someone tapping on her window.

Buffy screamed. Dawn laughed. Spike just stood there.

"W-What do you want?" Buffy asked, realizing who the tapper was.

Spike smiled at Dawn.

"Car trouble?" he asked, returning his focus to Buffy.

"No, we were just --"

"Discussing the fact that you were hot," Dawn interceded.

"Is that right?"

Buffy's jaw dropped.

"No, Spike, that is so not --"

"Yes, it is," Dawn continued, looking back up at Spike. "I'm trying to get her to admit her feelings for you. I mean, it's so obvious she wants you. I don't even know who Jarred is these days... you're all she ever talks about."

Spike knew very well that Dawn was trying to set them up, but he decided to play along, anyway. He loved seein' the Slayer all tongue-tied.

"All she ever talks about, eh?"

Buffy wanted to smack that smug grin from off his face. And just smack Dawn for the hell of it.

"Spike..."

Buffy grabbed him by the shirt, roughly, and pulled his head inside the car. She was about to tell him what she really thought of him. When their faces were practically touching, Buffy immediately realized that was a very bad idea. They locked gazes and her stomach got all fluttery.

Not again. Not again. Not again... she kept telling herself.

Before she cracked and did something she knew she'd regret, she pushed him away from her. She then, promptly, rolled up the window and sped away, leaving the vampire in the dust.

"Dawn, you're grounded."

* * * * *

Spike approached Buffy's front porch late the next evening. He knocked softly, and after a few moments passed, Buffy entered the door in her pajamas.

"I need to talk to you," he told.

"Look, if it's about last night --"

"No, nothin' to do with last night. Look, I got some info... thought you might be keen on knowin'."

She yawned and gestured for him to come inside. She really didn't want to deal with Spike at the moment... especially, since he'd been randomly entering her thoughts the whole day. She didn't know why, either. One minute she was talking to Dawn about cookie dough ice cream, and the next she was thinking about that bleached vamp that certainly had a way with her. Not really seeing a connection between cookie dough ice cream and Spike, she would brush the thoughts aside... until a half an hour later, he would re-appear. It was horrible. "What is it?" she asked, as she flopped down on the couch.

Spike took a seat next to her, but she noticed his features were unusually hard today. Like the information he had for her wasn't something she wanted to hear.

"It's about Jarred," he said.

Buffy immediately sat up and faced him.

"W-What about him?"

Spike looked down at his black boots, before answering her.

"He's not... he's exactly the perfect bloke you think he is."

Buffy's heart was beating like a freight train.

"Expand," she said.

Spike looked into her luminous eyes, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out some sort of needle-like contraption. He handed it to her.

"And this is supposed to mean something?"

He paused.

"Buffy, are you feeling OK? I mean, are you well?"

"I'm fine... please skip ahead," she demanded, although she had been feeling a little out of it the past few days.

"I think it's what's been used to drug you."

"What? What does this have to do with Jarred?"

"Well, I took it upon my own to check out his flat yesterday, before he got home... you know, to see --"

"No, I don't know. You broke into his house?"

Buffy was livid. Jarred would never do anything to hurt her. Ever.

"Not really... well, yeah. I did. But, it was for a good cause. Like that."

He pointed to the needle, that Buffy was holding in her quivering hand.

"I found it in his place. And there's a lot more from where that came from. Go see for yourself."

Buffy just glared at him, not believing a word he said.

"I don't believe this," she said.

"I know --"

"No, I don't believe you. How could you do this to me? A week before my wedding and you just had to find some way to break us up, didn't you? I knew it. I knew it all along. You may have a frickin' chip in your head, but it sure as hell doesn't stop you from causing other people pain."

Spike shook his head.

"Buffy, I was just tryin' to protect you. I --"

"Don't! You of all people should how much I don't need to be protected."

"From nasties? Of course not. But, from things like this? Buffy, you get so blinded by how you feel, that you miss out. You miss out on things you should be seein'. This Jarred guy isn't all that he seems. Now, I don't know why he'd ever want to hurt you, but I'm not lyin' to you, love."

"I'm not your love," she said coldly.

Spike just looked at her.

"I know Jarred. I know everything about him --"

"Do you? As I recall, you just met not a bleeding few months ago."

"That's none of your business. The point is, is that you don't know what the hell you're talking about. You think you know me, Spike, but you don't. You never will. There are things about me, you couldn't begin to puzzle out. And most of all, I'd never want you to. I've let you become a part of my life...I actually trusted you. Then, you go behind my back, a week before my wedding day, and spring this on me? These lies? I know you like me, Spike. I can tell. And that's all the more reason for you to stoop this low. So from here out, I want you out of my life, understand? I want nothing to do with you."

Spike's undead heart broke at the sound of her words.

"Buffy --"

"Get out," she told him.

She could feel the tears start to well up in her eyes, and she knew if he didn't get out of there fast, she would break down. And when he didn't attempt to move, she forced herself to make him move.

"Get out!" she screamed.

Spike rose to his feet. And without looking back, walked out.

With the slam of the door, Buffy fell to her knees and wept.

* * * * *

An hour passed, and Buffy's eyes were still swollen with tears. She was laying on her couch when she heard the front door open. She jerked her head up to see Dawn come prancing through the door. She had forgotted Dawn wasn't even home. She had gone over to her friend, Amber's house for dinner.

"Dawn, it's almost eleven... why are you so late?"

"Sorry, Buffy. Me, Amber and Kayla were all talking on three-way with Kevin! It was so great. He said..."

Her cheery voice drifted away when she noticed the distraught look and puffy eyes on Buffy's face.

"What happened?" she asked, approaching her sister.

"Nothing," Buffy replied, sadly. "I don't even know why I'm crying."

"Right. Tears are a funny thing. They'll come when you least expect it... but, really, Buffy. What's wrong?"

Buffy sat up and ran her hands through her tangled hair, as Dawn sat down next to her.

"I just... it's about Spike."

Dawn's eyes widened.

"Did he hurt you?"

She nodded.

"But, the chip --"

"Not like that. He lied to me... he told me terrible things, lies rather, about Jarred and then... I sorta told him I wanted him out of my life forever."

"Buffy, are you sure they were lies? I mean --"

"Yes."

She paused before going on.

"And the strangest thing is..." she looked down at her feet, as the tears started to fall. "... is that..."

Buffy couldn't bring herself to say the words, so Dawn helped her out.

"Is that, right when you were beginning to have feelings for him, you pushed him away and sent him packing?"

Buffy looked up at her intuitive sister with misty eyes and nodded gently.

"But why? Why Spike? Why now? I mean it's just so --"

"-- unbeliveably common?" Dawn asked.

Buffy just looked at her.

Dawn sighed.

"Buffy, it's kind of hard not to fall for Spike. And I understand why you would want to push him away. But, I think you should really go talk to him. You know, tell him how you feel. Find out the truth about Jarred, and why he would lie to you. Because you can't marry Jarred with out settling this first."

"Dawn?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop being so insightful. You're scaring me."

Dawn smiled, before going on.

"I'm serious though. Go talk to Spike. Get your feelings out in the open and go from there. You might find out in the end, that Jarred, in fact, isn't your perfect match. Maybe it's someone else... someone that's been there all along."

Buffy thought about it, but then shook her head.

"I can't. I don't even wanna look at him right now. It's too soon."

"Or maybe it's too late," Dawn suggested.

Buffy narrowed her eyebrows at her sister.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Dawn shrugged her shoulders and stood up.

"Hey, what do I know, anyway? I'm just a glowy Key thing. Do what you want."

And with that she walked off, leaving Buffy to think.

What did she want?

* * * * *

Buffy decided to go for a quick patrol. Work off some of her pent up anger, her worries, frustrations... guy problems.

Guy problems. The story of her life.

With an irritated sigh she searched the cemetery for unwanted vamps. Unfortunately, she sensed none. Not even the familiar presence of one she desperately needed to talk to. But, she didn't dare go to his crypt. Not now.

Suddenly, a vamp jumped her from behind. She flipped it over her scurried to her feet. It charged at her and Buffy snatched a stake out of her back pocket. It dodged it, and pulled her legs out form under her. Taking a moment to catch her breath, she jumped back up and faced the creature, breathing heavily and feeling a bit dizzy. It charged at her once again and Buffy spun around and thrust the piece of wood into it's heart. It dissolved into dust at her feet.

She bent over, trying desperately to steady her erratic breathing. What if Spike was right? What if Jarred did drug her? But why?

No. Jarred would never do something like that to her. She trusted him with all her heart and soul and she wouldn't let a jealous vampire break that trust. It just wasn't going to happen.

Buffy stood up straight, her breathing finally back to normal and decided to take Dawn's advice. Avoiding never solved anything. She would go there, talk to him, tell him what was on her mind... and then go from there. This thing had to be settled once and for all.

* * * * *

"Spike?" she asked as she entered his muggy crypt.

Buffy slowly stepped inside and adjusted her eyes to the dark.

"Spike, are you here?"

She frowned when she realized her vampire senses weren't kicking in. Suddenly, a feeling of dread washed over her. She quickly rummaged through his candle collection, found the matches and lit one. After walking around a bit longer, telling herself that he didn't just get up and go, Buffy finally stopped when she noticed a piece of paper sitting on his bed. Her heart started to beat rapidly, fearing the worst. She hesitantly picked it up, brought the candle down so she could read it, and sat down and his bed.

Buffy Anne Summers, I am in love with you.

As she read the first line, her heart stopped beating altogether, and her breath caught in her throat. She forced herself to read the rest. But, I know that nothing will ever come of it. You told me before you wanted me out of your life, but I didn't listen. After hearing those same words once again, I've decided to take you up on it. I know you bloody don't believe me, but what I told you was the truth. Take it or leave it. I'm sorry I just left, but I figured you didn't want to see my sodding face after what happened.

If you're reading this, I'm already long gone. Don't quite know where I'm heading, but anyplace is better than here. You deserve to be happy, Buffy, and if that wanker makes you happy, so be it. Nothing I can say can change that. I wish you nothing but the best and hope your life is more fulfilling, now that I'm gone. Take care of yourself, Slayer... and I'll never stop loving you. - Spike

After re-reading his letter about five more times, Buffy decided to do what she did best.

She cried.

* * * * *

It was the big day. The day she had been waiting for almost all her life, but never thought would come... it was her wedding day.

Then why wasn't she happy?

Buffy sat in her dressing room, wearing the dress, Spike had helped her pick out. Willow had done her hair and makeup, and Buffy knew she looked beautiful. Her hair had been swept up into a mountain of golden curls, and a few small tendrils graced the sides of her cheeks. Her eyes were covered in smokey eyeliner and frosty white shadow. Her rosy cheeks were perfectly rouged and her lips were pale pink and glossy.

And she kept wishing her mom was there to see her.

Buffy heard a light tap on the door, and called for them to come in. Willow poked her head in and smiled at the bride-to-be.

"Hey, Will," Buffy said, glumly.

"Buffy, what's wrong? Why the long face?"

"That's what I'd like to know."

The red-head sat down next to the Slayer, who was staring at herself in the mirror.

"Nervous?" she asked.

Buffy shook her head and looked down at her white silky shoes.

"No... it's not that. I just feel like something's missing."

"Do you still want to go through with it?" Willow asked her friend.

Buffy nodded.

"I think so... but, what if I'm making a mistake? What if Jarred's not the one for me, afterall?"

"If that's how you really feel, then you have no business marrying him, Buffy. This is usually the most important and waited for experience in a girl's life. A-And if you feel like it's not gonna work out... you should tell him."

Buffy continued to stare at herself in the mirror, her expression unchanging.

"I just keep thinking about what Spike told me. You know, about the drugging thing. That's what's really been bothering me," she half-lied.

"But, I thought you searched his apartment and didn't find anything?"

"I did. But, Spike... I don't think he would make that up."

"A-And you're thinking about this now? Ten minutes before you have to say 'I do'?"

Buffy let out an exasperated sigh and stood up.

"I don't know what to think. Part of me is telling me to just go through with it. That I'll never find another guy like Jarred and never have another chance like this for the rest of my life. Another part is saying no. It's saying that I'm making a huge mistake and that maybe there's someone else out there for me."

Willow looked up at her friend with sympathetic eyes.

"Well, I guess you have to decide which part is your heart."

Buffy glanced at her.

"I know what my heart is saying, Will. It's saying --"

She was interrupted by Dawn barging through the door.

"It's time, Buffy!" she said, before turning back around and running out.

Willow stood up and began to walk out. She looked back at Buffy and smiled, warmly.

Buffy smiled back and looked sullenly at the ground.

"It's saying... that I'm in love with someone else."

And with that, she took a deep breath and walked out.

* * * * *

Buffy could hear the muffled sounds of her friends and others through the double, wooden doors. Willow, Tara, and Anya stood directly in front of her as her brides maids, along with Dawn, who was the reluctant flower girl. She tried to keep up with her wild heart beat, while she waited for the music to play. Although, she wasn't nervous, she was still unsure and unsure was never a good thing. Still, it was just too late to back out.

"You know, Buffy," Willow turned around and whispered. "It's never too late to back out of this."

Buffy silently laughed to herself and gave her friend a small nod.

Nevertheless, she wouldn't break Jarred's heart. She wouldn't let him down and she wouldn't walk out. She had to be the strong one. The one willing to take chances... even if her heart did belong to another. Then again, that "other" had walked out on her and was out of her life for good. She had no reason to feel guilty.

Guilty. Maybe that was what she was feeling. Maybe after her and Jarred got situated, her feelings of guilt and regret would wash away, and all there would be was Jarred. The love of her life.... well, almost.

Then the music started.

"Here we go, Buffy!" Willow told her as the doors swung open.

Buffy just closed her eyes and held her breath.

This is it. Be strong, Buffy. You can do this.

She walked slowly into the small chapel, one step at a time. When she finally opened her eyes, she saw Giles and Xander in the front pew, along with a few other of her friends. On the opposite side, all the pews were filled with Jarred's friends and family.

Buffy smiled softly to all who watched her gracefully walk down the aisle. The ever annoying "Here Comes the Bride" theme, echoed in her ears, partially blocking out her heavy breaths and racing heart.

As her brides maids and sister moved apart, Buffy looked up to see Jarred standing there, along with a pleasantly plump priest. She gave Jarred a winning smile and he nodded at her. A little put off by his curt response, Buffy focused on her feet, the rest of the way up the aisle. When she finally reached him, he took her arm in his and they stopped in front of the priest.

Buffy's head was racing. Jumbled thoughts were scattered about her confused mind. She completely drained out the words of the pastor, all the while thinking about where she'd rather be and who she'd rather be with. Jarred was a great guy, he really was... but, someone else had stolen her heart along the way, and even though he was gone, he would always be a part of it. And that was a scary thought, realizing she was standing before a priest, with a man she supposedly loved, on her wedding day. Then again, there was nothing she could do about it. He was gone, Jarred was there, and why throw away a perfectly good opportunity for a person she may never see again? It just wasn't worth it.

Buffy's thoughts were interrupted by the husky sound of the priest's voice.

"If there is anyone here, who wishes these two not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Buffy froze. She wished no one would speak up, but at the same time, she desperatley wished they would. Then, she wouldn't have to go through with this, and it wouldn't be her fault. Still, she wanted to go through with it. Just to prove to herself that she could very well live a semi-normal life and grow to love Jarred all over again.

Buffy stood there and held her breath, not wanting to miss the slightest sound. She looked around and all she saw were heads turning around to see if anyone else had objections. No one did.

Relieved and disappointed at the same time, she turned back around and faced the priest.

"Very well then. Let's --"

Suddenly, Buffy heard the two double doors burst open.

Oh God, she thought.

She listened as everyone turned around to see who the intruder was, including Jarred. But, not Buffy. She didn't dare move.

She knew very well who it was.

"Buffy," the oh-so-familiar voice said.

She shut her eyes as tight as she could, but her feet still remained glued to the floor.

Nobody moved. They just stared at the person who had walked in on Buffy's wedding, waiting for him to proceed. Waiting for him to say something. Waiting for somebody, anybody, to say something.

Finally, Buffy turned around. She did it so slowly, it felt like an eternity went by. But, at last she came face to face with the one person who had plauged her every thought. Who had invaded her every dream. Who had witnessed her times of tears and moments of joy. The one who had let her heart know it could love again, only to break it with good-bye.

The one who went by the name of Spike.... the vampire that made her life miserable and exhilarated at the same time. The one that she loved to hate and hated to love, but couldn't help but love him anyway. She looked into his blazing blue eyes and saw the exact same emotions reflected in his.

"Buffy," he said once again.

"Spike," she whispered back, so softly, that only his heart could hear her.

"What the hell is this?" Jarred demanded, turning around to face Buffy.

Her moment of contentness was broken by Jarred's hard tone. She looked up at him and then back at Spike, realizing right then what a bad position she was in. What was she supposed to do now? She decided to find out what Spike wanted, before she made any rational decisions.

"W-What are you doing here?" she asked him.

Spike paused for the briefest moment.

"I've come to..." his voice trailed off, as if he had changed his mind on what he was going to say. "I've just come to enjoy the show," he finally said.

Buffy's heart sunk, as she heard all of the sighs of relief wash over the room. For some reason, she had wished he had come to change her mind. To let her know what she already knew... that she was, in fact, making a mistake.

Buffy nodded at him and turned back around. Jarred rolled his eyes.

"Can we go on then?" the priest asked, impatiently.

"Yes," Buffy replied, reluctantly.

The priest went on and all Buffy could think about was Spike. All she wanted to do was run down the aisle, jump into his arms and tell him how she felt. Maybe that was why he didn't stop her... he still probably thought that she hated him for lying to her. Well, he could never be more wrong. Him being gone, only made her love him more.

"Jarred Tyler O'Connell, do you take Buffy Anne Summers to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?" the pastor asked.

Buffy's heart was pounding as she turned around to face him. She swallowed hard and glanced over at Spike. He was leaning against the wall, nonchalantly, and he eyed her intently. She once again faced Jarred.

"I do," he said.

"Buffy Anne Summers, do you take Jarred Tyler O'Connell to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?" he repeated.

Oh no, oh God, what do I say... someone just shoot me now. Everyone was watching her, holding their breath as Buffy made her decision. She once again looked over at Spike. His gaze made her go weak in the knees... how could she marry Jarred, when she was so in love with Spike? It was just... wrong. But, then again, just being in love with a vampire was wrong. It didn't matter. Her mind was made up.

Buffy kept her eyes fixated on Spike as she said the two small, but powerful words.

"I can't."

Gasps and shocked sounds echoed off the walls and Buffy closed her eyes, not wanting to see Jarred's face. When she opened them, he was staring down at her with hate and disgust in his eyes.

Spike stood up abuptly, when hearing the Slayer's remark. What the bloody hell was goin' on? Wasn't she completely in love with the lyin' wanker? And why did she keep lookin' at him like that? Again with the what the bloody hell was goin' on?! Tears started to form in Buffy's eyes, as she looked up at Jarred.

"I - I'm so sorry, Jarred. But, I can't marry you."

"Why?" he asked, coldly.

"I'm... in love with someone else."

She felt the hard slap across her delicate cheek, before she even saw him raise his hand. The tears sprung to her eyes and started rolling down her face. She started to run down the aisle, and met Spike half-way.

"Buffy... what - what the bloody hell? What's going on?" he asked, frantic.

She grabbed him and held him tight as the tears flowed like a waterfall.

Spike instictively put his arms around her, as he felt her body shake with sobs. The small droplets dappened his black shirt against his shoulder.

Suddenly, the whole church was in an uproar. Everyone was gathering around Jarred and heading towards her and Spike. Buffy pulled away from him.

When she looked behind her, Jarred was standing there. She backed away, afraid he was going to hit her again. Everyone watched as the two stood before each other.

"You know why you really disgust me?" he asked. Buffy blinked back the tears and tried to regain control of herself.

"Why?"

"Because you act like you're hot stuff, but you're really just another worthless ho I could have picked up off street. You think you're so powerful, and I thought so too. Why the hell else would I drug you?"

Everyone fell silent.

"But, today I realized you're just a scared little girl... weaker than anyone could imagine."

"Is that so?" Buffy asked.

She punched him as hard as she could in the nose, breaking it. He cried out in pain.

"Funny, I don't seem so weak to me."

"Bitch!" he screamed.

He charged at her, but she forcefully kicked him in the groin with all her might, and he doubled over.

"Get out of my life," she told him.

He lay on the ground, looking up at her, out of breath.

"Happily," he said.

Buffy suddenly felt a gentle hand on the small of her back. She turned around to see Spike standing there with worry in his eyes.

"You alright, love? Did he hurt you?"

She shook her head.

"Buffy, oh my God!" Willow called out.

All of a sudden, the whole group was surrounding her, asking questions, giving hugs, and telling her "it'll be OK."

Buffy explained everything to them and they were all very supportive. It felt like hours had gone by before she finished talking. She told them everything from Jarred drugging her because he didn't like how much stronger she was than him, to how she had feelings for someone else. How she was in love with someone else. How she was in love with Spike.

That hadn't gone over too well, but Buffy knew, with time, they would learn to except her decision. Speaking of, where was he?

"I'll be right back," she told her friends.

Buffy searched through the church and looked in all the little rooms, but Spike was nowhere to be found. Had he just left her, once again? And, still, she had yet to confess her true feelings to him. How could he leave... didn't he want to know what was going on? What had happened? How sorry she was for not believing him? Guess not. Because, once again he was gone.

And this day could not get any worse.

* * * * *

Buffy had told Dawn to go home with Xander and Anya. She desperately wanted to be alone. She hadn't even changed out of her wedding dress yet, she was so depressed. All she wanted to do was go to her room and cry herself to sleep.

Buffy contemplated the idea of going to Spike's crypt and explaining everything to him, but she feared there would be another note, telling her that he had left once more. And Buffy just couldn't bear to go through that again.

She entered her house and walked glumly up the stairs, her long wedding dress, trailing behind her.

"Ow!" she yelped as she tripped over the dress and fell flat on her face.

Forcing herself to stand up, she kicked open her bedroom door, preparing herself for a many hours of restless sleep and disturbing dreams. But, she most certainly was not prepared for what she found.

"Spike?" she asked.

He was sitting on her bed. He stood up when she walked through the door.

"W-What are you doing here? I thought you... left."

His bleached blonde hair was a touseled mess, and she couldn't help but notice that he looked sexier than ever. She remained in her doorway, waiting for him to respond.

"I came to see you," he said, taking a step towards her.

She looked down at her feet.

"I need to talk to you," she replied.

He nodded for her to go on.

"I'm sorry," she said. "For not believing you and forcing you out of my life. You were right, and deep down I did believe you. I just couldn't bear to hear the truth."

"I forgive you," he said.

"Thanks."

"Was there anything else, love?"

She nodded and took a deep breath.

"I - I... I think I'm in... love with you."

Spike froze. He must have been hearing things... the Slayer didn't just tell him that... but, she did. His eyes locked with hers.

"You think?"

"Yes... I mean, no. I mean, I know. I know that I'm in love with you. Spike, I can't help it. I don't know how it happened or when. All I know is that, you complete me. You do. When you left, you're all I ever thought about. I would cry myself to sleep every night, praying for you to return. And... I can't live without you. I need you."

He took another step towards her, and brushed the blonde tendrils from off tear-stained face. Without warning, he dipped his head down and locked lips with hers. She put her hands around his neck, pulling him closer.

"Buffy..." he whispered into her mouth.

She held on tighter, their passion igniting. They ran their hands through each other's hair, not able to get enough of one another.

Spike, then, picked her up and gently placed her onto the bed.

"I love you, Buffy," he said.

He crawled on top of her, so his face was right above hers. She smiled and put her arms around him. He kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"Stay with me forever?" she asked, her voice filled with longing.

He lifted his head, his eyes burning into hers.

"'Til death do us part, my love."

The End

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