RAPE AGGRESSION DEFENSE In the fall of 2000, I took a two-day course in self-defense. I decided to register for the Rape Aggression Defense (RAD) course, sensing that this course would somehow be useful to me in the near future. I thank Corporal Ted Boyer of the University of Texas at San Antonio Police Department for this training experience and urge all women to locate a RAD course or similar program. When I initially reserved my spot in the course, I thought I was taking it to prepare myself for a new work setting where I will be counseling women who are rape or domestic violence survivors. I realized that, although I was highly aware of the counseling process, I had little awareness of what law enforcement experts would say were important self-defense actions that women could take when faced with a potentially dangerous situation. Yet, before the end of the first day's training, I realized I had been in situations where I, too, could have used this training for my own safety. As a private practitioner, I found myself alone with clients at my practice, often in the evening hours in a desolate office building. My office was the sole mental health counseling practice on a floor with attorneys and accountants, although there was a nonprofit domestic violence intervention program on the floor below. It is interesting to note that this agency was politely asked not to renew its lease my first year in the building. At an unconscious level, I sensed that office decorum was an important value in this setting. What I didn't realize was that this implicit message set me up to accept "keeping the peace" as a norm for doing business at my practice. So when I was forceably restrained and cornered one Friday afternoon by a former priest [yes- that's right]--that should have been a red flag!]. At the time, I sensed that I was somehow at fault. I realize now that I've had the RAD training, that I had two trances going that caused me not to fight back: one as a business person in a "respectable" professional buiilding, and one as a mental health professional who is the responsible party in any professional relationship. My immediate thought was to keep quiet, rather than yell for help. Afterall, the dignified atmosphere of the office building would be violated and I could be evicted. And as a mental health practitioner, I believed that the professional was always the one with more power in the clinical setting. So I felt responsible. I had erroneously interpreted this situation as a potential harrassment situation, where I would be blamed for sexual harrassment if I were to report it. Clearly, any woman who works independently is at risk of violence or unwanted sexual advances and owes it to herself to increase her awareness of risk as well as take steps to reduce risk. It is not paranoid behavior to be cautious in the face of inherent dangers. Sometimes our trances and conditioning are so powerful that we must fight to free ourselves from harm that can be caused by ritualized behaviors. Women in domestic violence situations often find themselves responding in similar ways. And although I have never been in an abusive relationship with a significant other, reflecting on this experience helps me to better understand how women in such situations may blame themselves or shrink from acting defensively |
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| So tell me what you think . . . Experts estimate that approximately 80% of rapes are done by people the victim knows. Consider also that rape, now termed "sexual assault" by law enforcement agencies, is an act of aggression--not sexual gratification. Consequently, the perpetrator is someone we have trusted to some extent. Do you think that you could be victimized? Most women don't believe they will become a target because they don't meet the "typical vicitm" profile. But the truth is, rapist pick targets of opportunity. There is really no such thing as a rape victim profile. Anyone who trusts is vulnerable. Anyone who accepts the challenge of living a full and meaningful life may find themselves a target. Consequently, it is up to you to let the potential rapist know that you won't be a victim. You can yell, even if your conscience tells you that doing so will embarrass or shame yourself or the rapist. He's counting on you not yelling and not fighting back. He's hoping you'll be shamed into not putting up a fuss and not reporting it. Women are vulnerable to rape because they are often in one-down positions with men in the work place, for example. Being one-down we often think we will be protected in the long run. But nothing can be further from the truth. Being one down makes one vulnerable, for example, to manipulation. |
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