| HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF RICH BY BEING A FOOTBALL CLUB CHAIRMAN |
| If you own a lot of shares, you put the football club on the stock market. |
| The value of those shares immediately shoot up, and as major shareholder you get a big capital payoff. |
| The value of those shares then plummet, but you've made money initially, so sod all those other shareholders who invested because you told them it was wise to invest in the club. |
| You subsequently don't buy better players to improve the squad, and make the team's best players get medals at better teams who make the effort to keep their players. |
| When these players leave, you sell them for lots of money, and keep the money for yourself instead of ploughing it back into replacements. |
| You start by naming a stand after yourself. |
| But you use some of that money to build a new stand that the club doesn't need, and also name that after yourself. |
| You ignore the needs of your customers, who set up their own independent association WITHOUT getting paid for it. You tell the world they're stupid, and that they should respect how wonderful you are, since you do that yourself every day in front of the mirror. |
| You keep coming up with excuses as to why the club can't spend money on players, but when the club makes a loss, you still pay out a dividend to shareholders, and you can make lots of money if you're the major shareholder. |
| You tell people to stop moaning about the continuing declining share price. You also tell them to stop moaning about continuing reduced attendances. |
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