~(Padfoot and Moony return to HoggywartyHogwarts by Anrion)
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"I'm Hoggy-warty-Hogwarts' first security guard!" Sirius said proudly, puffing out his chest. "I guard the insecure! Guard of the secureness. Security of the guard! Wait... I *am* an insecure guard-"
"Black..."
"- Guard of the security! I guard *their* security! Secure their guardedness! I-"
"BLACK! *Shut. Up.*"
"I am the guard of shutting up! I guard the shut up! Shut up that guard! Shut up *of* the guard! I-"
"Sirius..." Remus warned behind him, pointing to a fuming Snape.
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"Lesson three: Always listen to the little leprechaun that tells you to burn things." ~Sirius~
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"There's the Lake!" Sirius panted, pointing.
"Why are we going to the Lake?!" Remus asked.
"To swim to safety! DUH!" Sirius said, as though this had been the most obvious thing in the world.
Remus stared at him, but said nothing, just silently following what he had officially declared the insane Padfoot toward the Lake.
"SWAN DIVE!" Sirius crowed, doing a perfect dive right into the "water".
"New invention!" Remus echoed, "WEREWOLF DIVE!"
They both came up spluttering.
"ARRRRRRGH!" Sirius yelled.
"My eyes! MY EYES!" Remus yelped, pawing wildly at his eyes.
"It's... it's..." Sirius started.
"YOGURT!" they shouted together.
"*Now* I remember that big beginning of term prank!" Sirius yelled.
"Too- sticky- can't- turn back-" Remus said, struggling madly.
"We'll have to swim for it!" Sirius said acting frantic, though he looked as if he were having the time of his life.
"It's yogurt, you idiot!"
"I know that! Swim, Moony! Swim like never before!"
They started swimming, slowly. VERY slowly.
"Too thick." Remus panted after a few minutes and two feet worth of what Sirius called "swimming".
"We'll have to eat our way out!" Sirius cried, taking a huge bite of the yogurt.
"Ooh! Blueberry!"
"It's strawberry, twit."
"No, it's blueberry!"
"Strawberry! I remember *pulling* this prank! I specifically made sure that all of the yogurts were *strawberry*! I have the lids to prove it!"
Sirius groaned. "Remus, you are the only person I know who would keep a record of what kind of yogurt we used to fill up the Lake."
"Sorry to interrupt this wonderful little conversation Siri, but... I can't help but wonder why the yogurt tastes like blueberry when I *know* we used strawberry."
Sirius groaned, "I don't wanna know."
They had traveled slowly to the other side of the lake by now.
Remus stood up, his face contorted with disgust at being covered in yogurt which they didn't know if it was strawberry or blueberry.
"Can't... go on." Sirius panted pathetically, "I- I'm DROWNING! Go on Moony! Save yourself, swim!"
Remus cocked an eyebrow. "Uh, Sirius?" Sirius stopped flailing and looked up at Remus. "It's three feet deep, Siri."
"Oh." Sirius grinned sheepishly and stood.
They turned, and:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"What the bloody-?!"
"Sirius, I beg you, don't finish that sentence." Remus pleaded, before turning back to Dumbledore who had just appeared, "How'd you get here before us Professor?"
Dumbledore smiled, "I have my ways. One of them includes WALKING! Isn't that fascinating?"
Remus cocked his head, "Yes, that is quite interesting, as a matter of fact I went on an excellent walk just the other- RUN PADFOOT!"
And back into the lake they dove.
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Remus winced, "Why'd we do that?! Now we have a high-pitched shrieking, annoying, FLYING Dursley to deal with."
Sirius pointed his wand at her, "SHUT UP!"
There was immediate silence.
Remus looked at his friend curiously. "That's not a spell."
Sirius shrugged, "I guess I just have that affect on people."