Vedic a$trologers are a pestilence upon the land. Their murdering, thieving, and dishonest ways are known far and wide, yet they still claim hundreds if not thousands of victims every year.

If they would only police themselves, and disavow and condemn the bad apples among them, but no- it seems to be part of their makeup. The age old question appears to be, which came first- the criminal, or the vedic a$trologer?

Remain calm. A solution is on the horizon.

As you read this, a number of concerned citizens are making the necessary arrangements to purchase a plot of unused property near the famous Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Storage Facility, to create a new and wonderful way to deal with the problem of vedic a$trologers.

The proposed P.T.M. Vedic A$trologer Reeducation Camp will be an ultramodern, escape-resistant facility with the sole task of reeducating and reforming vedic a$trologers, using the latest in scientific techniques.

By day, vedic a$trologers will be trucked in from all over the nation. They'll make useful crafts, work in our experimental agricultural field with its wildly unusual Yucca Mountain Brand™ of mutated fruits and vegetables, and, and move barrels from one location to another.

By night, the most modern and effective treatments will be applied- often at high voltage- in special soundproof rooms so as not to disturb local fauna.

We expect to achieve a 75% success rate with a recidivism rate of approximately 33%- over twice as successful as other leading clinics and camps.