| The practice bass drum beat matched the footsteps they shared as they walked through the wood stepped wet ground, downhill to the summer camp looking club. There was already a large group of kids milling around the outside yard, already passing the �door� and down the steps. I held onto John�s arm to stabilize myself as we went down. He laughed at me. �Are you sure you should have had that last drink?� he asked. I nodded vigorously, and let go of his arm, placing my hands in my back pockets. We passed through the money-guzzling arena and passed onto the cement, baptized with a late afternoon shower, and looked inside through the patio doors. There was practically no one inside, and it was still early. I took a deep breath, and pulled my cigarettes out of my front left pocket, the lighter out of the right. It hung from my lip as I watched sexy indie boys walk by in their anorexic states. Messy hair. Tight pants. Plaid shirts. Small shirts. Protruding hip bones. It was disgusting, but so attractive. I shook my head and illuminated my face behind my hand. �So you do this a lot?� he asked me, as I let a trail of smoke fall into the sky. �Yeah,� I said. �You?� �Not like this�..� he said, looking at the gathering of people. I gave him an �hmmm� with the cigarette in my mouth, bouncing a bit, as I straightened out the front of my pinstripe button up shirt. I checked my sleeves, preparing for a fashion showdown, and then fell back into bad posture, and put my hand in the back of my dark denim cuffed blue jeans. �I�m getting another drink,� I said. �You want one?� He looked at me and nodded. I came back with a beer for him, and a triple sized helping of vodka and cranberry juice for myself. �Did you get enough?� he asked, sipping his dark amber lager from the bottle. �Maybe.� I smiled. I finished a couple more cigarettes, and we watched people walk by. Some I knew. Some I only wish I knew. None of them were familiar to him. (It was the wrong coast for heaven�s sake!) My drink was 2/3�s empty, and I was beginning to float around the club. I walked inside and used the bathroom, John following with wide eyes. He grabbed a hold of my back pocket before I wandered off too far. �Where you going?� he asked me. I shrugged. He laughed at me, noticing my tipsiness. �I�ve got all you want right here,� he joked. I winked at him, and turned around twice, looking at everything quickly. I did it again, starting to stumble when I saw Ian. He was the evening�s entertainment. His gapped toothed smile, meshed with cro-magnum man jaw---large Mongolian Afro�tight brown pants, and black jacket. If you sneezed, he�d fly across the room. He whined like a girl on the records---squealed like a slaughtered pig. �I wonder what noise he�d make if I cornered him,� I said, mistakenly allowed. �What?� John asked, eyes wide, watching me drool in Ian�s direction. My eyes were locked. I was breathing rapidly, and my hands were cold and going numb. I shook them to get some feeling. John looked at me�and at Ian�and back at me�. And then Ian looked at me, and my stomach shot to my throat, and out through my little toe. I gasped for air. I lost my balance. John grabbed my arm and took me outside, where it wasn�t stuffy. I soon pulled away and got another drink. Same thing. Same size. My skin was beginning to feel cold and my blood was boiling. John was talking�..but I couldn�t hear him over the music that wasn�t playing. I smoked a few cigarettes furiously, and they made me feel even more on the verge of meltdown. The new drink was gone. My stomach was swollen, and over full. The music began, and I pushed through kids in my way to make way to the stage. John followed, and I pulled him close as we approached a nice nook between the stage and speakers. �Ian�is mine,� I said, and he nodded at me playfully. �I thought he was mine,� he joked. I grew furious. My eyes opened wide, and I dropped my fists to my side at attention. �Bitch, he�s mine! Don�t make me fight you for him,� I said, my speech beginning to slur. �Honey�..you have got to be kidding. He likes dick.� He said. I looked at him shocked, and faced the stage. He held my shoulders and ran his hands down my side, and I got the chills. He whispered in my ear �You can have him. I want to be the girl, anyway.� Ian took the stage a few feet away, and wrapped the microphone cord around his hand. I lunged forward toward him, the crowd shifting, and John stood me up again. I turned and smiled at him, and pecked his bottom lip. I turned around again, facing Ian, and then turned again, and kissed John harder. He tried to pull away�but I didn�t let him. Ian introduced the band. �Whoooooooooooooooooooo� I hollered, my arms and hands up in the air, as Ian looked at me. They started the drums and the bass, and my ass began to move without my control. It had a mind of its own. Ian started singing, and shaking his hips, and I stared at the crotch of his pants. I licked my lips and felt my hands squeeze into fists trying to deny myself grabbing at him. He kept lunging into the audience, and singing. Screaming. Sweating. Dancing. I felt him a few times, and let go again. John was watching the crowd�I couldn�t tell if he enjoyed it or not. I looked back at Ian, and his hairy belly was in my face. I reached out and licked it, tasting the salty goodness he had to offer me. He looked down at me, barely noticing in the chaos. I licked my lips at him, and he turned away. John looked at me alarmed. �You need to calm down..� he said. I shook my head and shook my ass. I started dancing with my arms swinging at my sides, and threw them in the air with Ian, and some other girls, synchronized. When Ian left the stage I wandered outside, forgetting anyone else was there, and stuck a cigarette in my mouth. I couldn�t get into my pockets---someone had sewed them closed, so I had to walk against the wall until a window would light my cigarette. I stood there leaning against the puddle until I saw Ian fly out past the club, and walk through the wall. The bush offered me another light, since the window had left, and I graciously took it, thanking him profusely. I had two cigarettes going, and Ian was within grasp. I walked up to him, somewhat cornering him in a dark corner, but it was really just the sidewalk where no one was standing because they were inside. He looked up at me with his Lilliputian teeth and they yelled out at me. I hooked my thumb around my belt�and played with the button of my pants. I was looking at him, and he was pretending I wasn�t there. I began to undo my belt, and he looked down at the ground with a crooked smile. �Just give me a kiss�� I said. I threw my cigarettes on the ground, and grabbed him by the neck and stuck my tongue down his throat. John came out through the crowd, followed by a large group, and grabbed me by my back pocket. �Jen�what are you doing? Who is that?� he asked. I looked at him, squinting to recognize him. �It�s my sexy rockin� boy,� I said. He looked at me with concern. Ian walked past and my jaw dropped. �There is two of them!� I exclaimed loud enough for Ian to hear, look at me strange, and skip off faster. I looked back at the boy I had been kissing, and his similar clothes, but his face wasn�t right. I kissed him again. I didn�t care. It was Ian. John pulled me away, and tried to convince me to leave. �We need to head home�.� He said. I fought out of his grasp and stood back, my hands in my pockets, a new cigarette hanging from my lip. �But I want to make out with Ian some more.� I said. �But Ian is inside,� John said. I shook my head and pointed at the boy a few feet away. �No no...He�s right there,� I said. John buried his head in his hands, and sighed loudly. �You need to go home,� he said. I looked at him, and up at the sky, catching the lights alongside the club as I went. Everything began to spin, and I could feel all of my liquid goodness begin to find it�s way back up my throat. He grabbed a hold of me as I tripped over my own feet, dropping my cigarette in a puddle for the chickens that were chirping loudly to smoke. We began up the stairs, when I sat down on them, and took a deep breath, ready to spill my guts. He picked me back up and carried me to the street where I could walk evenly. �I�m sorry john�I�m really sorry�� I said. He smiled at me. �It�s okay..� he said laughing at me trip occasionally. �It�s entertaining.� I turned to him and smiled. I slapped my ass, and winked at him. �Give me a kiss,� I demanded. He looked at me in honesty, and shook his head. �What?!� I shrieked. �I don�t want to ruin your mouth�..Since you kissed Ian and all.� He coughed as he said it. I looked at him puzzled for a minute, and nodded. �Yeah�. that�s right. Thank you. Thank you so much.� |