| three days of poetry. |
| day three. |
| 18 March 2002 back of my head. I found what I wanted my whole life And I lived gloriously from off its rays Smiled and rested My heart just couldn�t despise And someday somehow my life walked away The things I had found refused to be held They screamed so loud��you cannot have!� And I tried to put my life aside I shed some tears and tried washing it away But to no avail, it was here to stay �you cannot have!� it demanded so but when I let go it never walked away somedays it nuzzled closer somedays it just disappeared it just couldn�t decide so you ask why I am what I am? Why I say such things in bouts of pain? I have to laugh if you just don�t show promise Perhaps you�ve been played more than you know Imagine not to imagine! To place possibility in the trash! I�m not the joke. I�m the answer. 18march2002 Today I want to blacken out you face I�m too tired for the bullshit I�ve fed myself I could put the picture frame down And remove my European dream from off my wall Hide all of my records And close my eyes But you�d still be there And I�d scream at you to be gone, so go But your stubbornness has latched inside Has bled inside And wont come out. And I�d be beating you inside, with my cold fists Tears streaming and blood unconfined You�d scream back But I�d only be fighting myself. I�m always fighting myself instead of you It�s a tiring activity I can�t deny Somedays I just as soon die But not yet. Not till you try. Retraction As many words of anger are there words of love�words that savor your being, time and place I�m dreadfully sorry if it comes personal My sanity pulsates in waves�as does my patience for you Today is quite different from the next And yesterday is quite different from today Some day I�ll have my peace But for now my words create the security So forgive their meanings take them as seriously as you take me perhaps someday, as you wish they would, they�ll go away but I sadly say today they stay |