three days of (bad) poetry.
16march2002
Fie on you
For making me act the way I do
It used to be fun
I thought it silly
But now it�s just sick

I have such harsh words
And when they come out I dare not say them
My love sugarcoats everything
Even the basis of knowing right from wrong

Vodka in my stomach
And passion on my breath
I�d like to show you what I�m made of now

If you weren�t scared before
Your legs would buckle with my first sound
And you�d be stuck listening, writhing like I do
You can�t walk away from me.
I warned you.


16march2002
Things are so turned from what they once were
the smiles have become frowns
the lines have become barricades
the comfort has become contempt
my love has become indistinguishable, and a hermit
hiding from you and your sorry lies
away from the pain
away from the drain
away from the hands that play with it and make it insane.

I never thought you�d change me.
I never thought you�d be this way.
I guess I never thought at all.
(but completely the antithesis..i thought you my way.)


16march2002
I always prayed I�d be able to wrap my legs around you again
Hold you close and feel you push
And now I wish I could wrap them around my own neck
Save myself from the trouble of action
Save myself from the action of passion
Save myself from the passion---it�s only appreciated in my heart anyway
So you go on
You fool yourself with smiles
And you�ll forget me
And you�ll forget how I felt
And maybe I will too.

But I doubt it.


16march2002
should I rely on one single pill
to alleviate myself from myself?
Until he came, I didn�t feel any shame
I was proud of natural state
Thankful for the obsessive mind
And now I see
How I ruin what I want
How I kill the possibilities in everyone else�s eyes
�Someone will understand. Someday he�ll come�
It�s a joke I know, but I like to fool myself
But can I fool you too?
Have I already bled outside the lines
Succumbed to a point of no return
Leaving an impression not to be forgot

I�d let you slip the pills in my food
Drug my drink
If I could just be with you.

But it�s stupid to think that would matter
You don�t care either way
Again, I�ve fooled myself past reality
How dare you play with my heart.

I�ll choke it down.
When you learn to feel.
day one.
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