overdue.page

19august2000.

overdue.
A screenplay by Jen Hagen.

Preface:
"my head hurts, and my eyes throb. i cant sleep.
that is how i know that my mind is on overload. i'm thinking about something and i don't even know about it. i'm thinking and thinking, and someday it will all let me know. it will reveal itself to me someday, and i'll be amazed, and shocked. i'll cry and i'll laugh, and it wont matter because everything i've ever questioned will be answered. i'm thinking about my screenplay when i'm not. it's not jen anymore, but the screenplay. the words take over me, and i don't understand it.
i wonder if miller ever felt this dub narcotic bliss.
i wonder if miller felt anything close to the elation i posses when i am surrounded by my words. my phrases. my incomplete sentences, and misspelled words.
they are so perfect, because they come out so clean. they come out and i type them. there is no thought...there is no search for the perfect word. they come out like water runs from a faucet........like blood drips from a wound. they get their first taste of air, and they gasp from the swollen joy.....and they multiply, and grind their way to the top. they are overdue.

breathe. breathe with them.
breathe."
Letter to colleague, 20aug2000.

Chapter one.
Tuesday.
[song one.]
The package read : "Not to be opened until day of trip." Madison's hands felt around and tapped on the top hollow type surface with a burgundy colored nail. She sat down and composed a small letter on her computer, smiling. The package laid beside her.
"It's funny�." She typed quickly, looking at the clock often, "I made you a tape too. I sent it two days ago."
She sent it, and shut down her computer and placed the package in her bag. She searched through her room for a package of batteries, and little items in which she continued to shove inside her small bag which she considered luggage. Everything was folded down small, and neat. She sat on her bed and sighed deeply and left the room.

"I knew she'd think of it," Rudyard said, pulling the package out of the mail. He held the plastic tape casing in his hand, and checked the play list. He nodded acceptingly, and shoved it inside his black coat pocket and continued to walk down the street. He placed a cigarette in his mouth, and moved a stray black lock of hair from his eyes. He passed through alleyways and soon happened upon a record store in a rundown part of Washington DC.
"Rudy!" the man inside called upon seeing him. Rudyard smiled and went inside, leaving his jacket in the back room. He grabbed a fistfull of records and began filing them according to name.
"So you're leaving tomorrow to meet that girl, huh?"

Madison placed the stack of books on the desk, and grabbed ahold of the child whom was crying slightly. She lifted her up, and the child began playing with her collar which stuck out of her black sweater. As soon as she stopped crying, Madison put her near a stack of blocks, and continued across the room toward the older kids. Parents were picking up kids constantly, and more kids were coming in at the same time. It was a chore to keep them all signed in and out. Madison looked at her watch, and took a deep breath at the sight that it was 5. She shuffled through the mesh of people, and grabbed her black pea coat and clocked out. As she walked away from the school she heard children fighting on the playground and parents scolding them.

"Yeah. Madison Mae�..in about three days its gonna be me and her." Rudyard said, his skinny belly pressed against the bins.
"Madison Mae�.is she pretty?"
"Yes. She is very pretty. But most of all, she rocks. She is smart too."
"What a catch. And she lives, where?"
"That is the only problem. She lives in San Diego."
"You two live in different universes!"
"No�just different coasts."
"So you've never met her�and you live a few thousand miles away�and you are taking a bus to middle America to see her."
"Yep. Its so perfect�.."
"You are one strange mother fucker."
"You're just jealous." Rudyard said, smiling and throwing a 7" at him. He ducked and shook his head as Rudyard pranced onto the other side of the store.

"I leave at 4am for my trip�.remember?" Madison asked her roommate.
"Oh yeah�and how long are you going to be gone?"
"2 weeks."
"And you are going to be with that Rudyard Berendt you always get mail from?"
"Yes."
"Well, at least I have a first and last name to use when you don't show up for awhile�..you don't even know him Mad�"
"I do. And I wouldn't be traveling across the US to see him if I didn't care for him too. This is one of those risks you take while you are young�.."
"You are a wacky young lady. Does he still reside at 4something something lane in DC?"
"I am not wacky. And yes he does." She said rolling her eyes. "Can't you see how perfect it is? How artistically wonderful it is? It's something out of a modern storybook. It's a movie waiting to happen."
"I can't see anything. I'm not blinded by love."
"She's not called?" Madison asked.
"Nope. Nevermind her though. Don't forget to take your scarf." He handed it to her, and she smiled."You look nice in that scarf. You have to bring it."
"Thank you Steve. Really."
"No problem. And if your mother calls?"
"Tell her I�..um��I don't care. I'm too preoccupied to think of anything right now."
"You are so funny when you are in love."
"I can't help it. I'm so excited."

[song 2]
4am in Washington Dc is dark, foggy, and very cold. Rudyard could see his breath as he walked quickly down two miles to the bus station. He carried a small bag across his chest, and had another in his hands. His hair was done perfectly, and his jacket fit him snugly, revealing his thin tall frame. The black frames on his glasses could be seen from feet away before anything else. He sat on the bench and pulled his ticket from his coat pocket. He ran his fingers across the cold plastic of the tape case, and he smiled as he brought it to the loading area.

"You've got everything?" Steve asked, walking Madison to the right bus terminal.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Go back home and get some sleep. Thanks for the ride."
"You are going to call me right?"
"I will. Once we get settled."
"Okay. Don't take any shit from this one."
Madison smiled at him and he waved as he walked back to his car. Madison put her cold hands in her pockets, and looked at the lady in front of her whom resembled a beach bum. Madison ran her hand down the front of her nice jacket and poofed her hair on the sides, and smiled.

[song three.]
The bus loaded, and the seats were filled. It smelled strange inside, and the seats had a worn texture on them. Everyone looked slightly asleep, and slumped in their seats, or propped their heads against the windows.

The busses begin to drive toward each other.

Wednesday.
[song four]
Both Madison and Rudyard step off their busses, and onto another for their final transfer. Rudyard falls asleep immediately, headphones cradled in his arms, empty tape case in hand. Madison rests her head against the dimly lit window. Her breath creates fog, and she squints past it to see the fields outside go by slowly.
(((((((((((more about her being scared to lose him, or gain him even.)))))))))))))

Chapter three.
Madison stops. And sits. Delayed. Four hours.
[song five]
"He's going to leave. He's going to think I didn't come, and he's going to leave. He is going to wait miserably in the cold for hours, and leave. And never look back." She repeats to herself, rocking in her seat while listening to his tape.
Madison's breathing gets short and fast, and stops abruptly when the bus begins to move again. Her eyes open wide, and she looks around quickly.
[song six]
"Onward. Fast." She mouthed in her seat.
The elderly lady seated beside her looked uneasy, and wrapped in her sweatshirt and returned to her crossword puzzles.
(((((((((((more insecurities, and nervousness.))))))))))))))
[no track]
Rudyard victoriously unloaded himself from the bus. He strutted off from his seat, and was first to grab his baggage. He looked around at the seated folks waiting to either come or go�.in some sense. He shrugs and lites a cigarette before checking inside.
Six cigarettes later, and two hours sitting outside, he inquires inside.
"I'm inquiring about a passenger�Michelle Slade�..she should have been here two hours ago�"
The lady behind the desk typed the name in and checked the computer.
"Ah! We have information now."
"Great�" he said, biting his thumbnail.
"She was delayed in New Mexico. Four hours. Her expected arrival is at 8 pm."
"Fantastic. And what time is it luv?"
"5.45."

[song seven.]
Rudyard walked out and took a deep breath of air, and looked around the street. The bus station was in a decent part of town. The town, essentially was too small to have bad parts, but surprisingly it was well centered. There was a shopping center, a grocery store, and a few nice hotels right near by. He began down the street and began checking rates. He also discovered a park with beautifully changing leaves and a nice walkway behind one of the hotels. (((((((He spent much of the evening there, smoking and writing.))))))))))
[song eight.]
By 8 Rudyard was back at the bus station with hotel keys in hand, and the room fixed up with drinks and munchies. He had unpacked, and checked out the diner situation around them.
At 8.15 Madison's bus pulled up and she pressed her face against the window and saw Rudyard. She wanted to scream out to him, but instead she was stuck behind dozens of old slow people who were busy stretching instead of walking. She pushed by them rudely and forced her way out into the cold biting air. Her jacket was open and she looked tired.
"I am SO sorry��..I was so afraid you would leave�.and I had no way to get ahold of you to tell you��" she said in one breath, repeating herself twice. She gently pulled on his jacket sleeve while she talked. She demanded eye contact.
"It's okay.." he said, taking her shoulders. "I actually got a lot done�.and the ladies inside checked stuff out for me, so I knew you were okay."
"I'm still so sorry you had to wait�.." she said, eyeing the luggage.
"It's okay." He smiled at her. She grabbed her bag and walked back over to him.
[song nine.]
"I'm Rudyard." He said, shaking her hand.
She laughed and shook her head apologizing again.
"Sorry again. I was so upset�" she said. "I'm Madison."
She slicked her coat and shook his hand.
"You hungry?" he asked. She nodded.
"There's a place behind our hotel." He said taking her bag and leading her in the right direction. She watched him walk, falling behind occasionally. Their breaths followed them. He was taller than her, and had a thin strut which placed his hands on his hips when they werent in the warm comfort of his front jacket pockets. His scarf hung around his neck perfectly, not moving with any step. Michelle took two steps for each of his, trying to keep up. They didn't speak, but walked with intention of a destination which Rudyard had decided.
Rudyard took a sharp left and soon they were cutting across the yellow lit parking lot of the hotel he had checked them into. He steped inside the side doors, holding it clear for her and lead her through a narrow corridor leading to the main elevators. They stepped inside, and he hit the number 4. The doors closed.
[song ten.]
Madison tried to muffle her breath which was increased in pace from her maniac walking. Her senses were heightened, and the lights seemed that of a severe acid trip�or the best substitute to one she could imagine.
Each of the numbers which lit above her dinged out loud. She looked over at Rudyard resting his lanky body against the wall to her right. She could hear the sound reverberating in her head, and ever so slightly fade just before the next would ding. A 30 second elevator ride took hours in her head. She observed, and savored as long as she could.
Rudyard jumped from the elevator and shook the key in his hand as he walked towards the door.
406��.405��404��..403. He put the key in the door and held it open so the light shined in between his tall frame until he could flip the light switch. He put Michelle's bag down on the bed, and looked around the room.
"It seemed like a steal�." He said.
"It's fine. It's perfect�" she said looking in the bathroom.
"Good."
He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at her as she dumped out a few belongings on the dresser top. She could see his reflection in the mirror, and she glanced occasionally so as not to get caught.
Rudyard's brown eyes were wide, watching her place her scarf and some bobby pins on the dirty oak top. The bobby pins fell inside a water ring which was a faint yellow, and the scarf slid onto the floor. He followed them with his eyes, and he shifted on the bed's coarse top cover. Madison watched him, and when he looked back up they were eye to eye. She stared intensely for a few moments, and smiled, breaking away uncomfortably.
"Have you showered and stuff? Or�.." she asked.
"No�.I was going to wait until before bed��I was busy doing other things." He said looking at her in the mirror, searching for eye contact. She turned and faced him, sitting on the dresser.
"So�.lets go get some food and call it a night then�." She said. He nodded and stood up and stretched so his hairy belly peeked out from his jacket. Madison watched closely, and swallowed hard when it was covered again.
They walked to the diner below, across the parking lot, and took a smoking table for two. Both lit a cigarette immediately, and chose their dinners with ease.
"So�how was your trip?" she asked.

Chapter four.
[song eleven.]
Rudyard inhaled deeply and held it in momentarily. The smoke began to seep from the corners of his mouth as he responded, short of breath.
"Good. Not too long�.I listened to that wonderful tape, and wrote a little�I did a lot of staring out the window." He said.
"Yeah�..same here. Minus that transfer delay.." she said, exhaling abruptly. "That really pissed me off."
"You got here safe though. That's the only concern really."
"Yeah." She smiled, nodding. "Yes."
"The who is managing the record store for me was being weird yesterday, so I had a little trouble getting away�." He said. "But it's all settled now."
"Is that Josh?"
"Yeah. He's always causing trouble."
"I've heard some stories�" she chuckled.
"Did I tell you about when he��"
(((((((((((more)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[song twelve.]
"Who ever gets to the room first gets the shower first�." Rudyard said, bolting across the parking lot. Madison jogged behind, letting him rush up the stairs. She took the elevator and found the door open when she returned to the room.
"I'm far too tired to race you hon," she said. He had already picked out sleep clothes, and was running water. She sat on the bed and undid her shoes.
"I wont be long." He said. "I promise."
Madison found all of the things she needed to shower and sleep, and set them out. As soon as she did that Rudyard was out of the shower, and laying on the bed watching her. She gathered her things and went inside the damp bathroom and turned the wet knobs which let the lukewarm water seep from the drizzly shower head. She put on flannel plaid sleep pants and a tee shirt and walked into the main room to find Rudyard sleeping on top of the covers.
[song thirteen] She chuckled, and let an "aww" escape her throat. She replaced her things in the room and locked the door. She turned out the lights and pulled the covers down on her side as much as she could. She shimmied them around him, and somehow got him covered so he wouldn't freeze. She was closest to the window, and the cold bled through the thin orange curtains which barely covered the viewing portal, which allotted no visual stimuli. She laid facing Rudyard, and looked at his silhouette against the cold gray wall. She looked closely until she fell asleep. (((((((((((((More. Don't let all this racket disturb you. Thinking about everything with him�him�being with him�.how she cares. What shes doing.)))))))))))))))))

Madison woke the next morning to be more on Rudyard's side of the bed than her own. She looked at him embarrassed, and began to move away.
[song fourteen.]
"Hello�" he said his eyes swollen from sleep.
"Hi�" she said looking at him. "Wow�this isn't awkward or anything."
"Nah�" he said, shaking his head sarcastically.
"Yeah." She said pulling the covers close.
"You cold?" he asked, facing her on his side.
She nodded, and he pulled her arm toward him. She soon was nestled against his chest and he kissed her forehead. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"I've been waiting so long for you to be this close�" she said. He pet her hair and took a deep breath. Both fell back asleep.

[song one.b.]
Madison awoke some three hours later alone in bed. The door was cracked open, and dusty sunlight was falling over her feet. She stretched in bed, and got up, tripping over excess bedding on the floor. She peeked outside and found Rudyard smoking on the steps.
"Good morning," he said, squinting in her direction.
"Good morning," she said, leaning on the door frame.
They silently looked at the city before them. A few older cars drove by, and one person walked down the street in a five minute lapse.
"This city's pretty different than home, eh?"
"Yeah�" he said, putting his cigarette out and standing up. "But it's new and different."
She nodded as he walked closer to her, and passed into the room. She closed the door behind them and sat on the bed as he sprawled out on it.
"I don't understand how you get more tired sitting for a long amount of time, than you do if you were running around all day." He said.
"Neither do I," she said chuckling. "But I like this bed a whole lot."
She laid back and her head hit Rudyard's elbow.
"Sorry�" they both said. He pet her head, checking for damage.

"So yeah. Lets�..um�.." he said looking at her. She was looking at him.
"Lets get some cheap groceries, and go lay in the park."
"Yeah�..that sounds decent." She said.
"Decent?" he asked, insulted in a joking manner.
"Yes. Decent." She said.
"I'll show you decent�." He said, throwing a pillow at her face. She sat up and grabbed the one from under her head and smothered him with it. He grabbed a hold of her sides and tickled her, and she fell to his side without energy.
"No one wins." He said. "No one."
"I have all week to try!" she said, smiling.
[song 2.b]
He moved a strand of hair from in front of her eyes, and touched her cheek. He looked at her closely, and closed his eyes and exhaled.
Madison grabbed his hand and kissed it, putting it against her cheek. He opened his eyes and looked at her sincerely, and smiled slightly.
"If this is my view for the day, I don't think I want to go to the park," he said. "I've got more beauty and comfort right here."
Madison pushed herself closer to his face, and looked at him. His jaw was slightly unshaven, and his eyes were dark and peering back at her. She ran her finger on his laugh lines and kissed his forehead softly, looking at him. His eyes were closed and he was breathing calmly. She softly, and dryly kissed his lips and pushed her cheek against his, and closed her eyes.

[song three.b]
"Did you want some of this too?" Rudyard asked, holding a salad in a plastic bowl up towards Madison. She shook her head and lifted the deli sandwich she had in her hand. He nodded, and came over in line with her. He lifted her arm and looked at her sandwich.
"There's enough for both of us�" she said. He laughed and nodded, putting his armful of things on the conveyor check out belt. He put his hands on her hips and moved her to the side, and took place in the paying area.
"I can get it.." she said. He shook his head and put a finger up to her lips and 'shushed' her. She looked at him, her eyes sparkly, and sighed. She watched the cashier check out the groceries, and Rudyard.
"Anything else?" the girl asked, barely 16, and with baby fat.
"No�that's it." He said smiling at her. She looked at him closely, and batted her eyes when he smiled. Madison wanted to laugh, but she stood in admiration instead.
"Have a nice day," she said to Rudyard as he grabbed the bag. Madison followed, and she got stared down.

"That girl wanted you," Madison said as they walked towards the park a few blocks over.
"Yeah?" he said, looking at her.
"Yeah." She nodded. "She would have taken you then and there."
"That's too funny." He said smiling at her. He bumped into her and she grabbed his arm so as not to fall.
"You're worse than a grade school kid." She said. "What next�.are you going to chase me to the park?"
"Don't give me any ideas," he laughed lighting his cigarette, a plastic bag hanging from his wrist.
"Yeah. Forget I said it." She said pulling his cigarette out of his mouth and putting it in hers. It hung from her lip after she took a drag. She ran in front of him and stood tall a few feet ahead. She put her nose in the air and took a long super model like drag and looked at him.
"I'm Rudyard�." She said. He looked at her hungry, his mouth missing his usual stick of happiness. She walked back alongside him and let it hang from her lip again, and looked at him.
"It's a shame you have to kiss me to get it back." She said, skipping ahead.
The park was across the street now, and she was five feet ahead, smoking.
Rudyard walked behind her calmly as they began walking on the cool grass, and he threw down the bag and grabbed her from behind. She dropped the cigarette, and he pushed her gently on the ground and kissed her before she got the chance to exhale. The smoke came out his mouth as he picked the nearly dead cigarette from the ground.
"Wow�" she said teasing him again. She stood up and he pulled her back down in his lap.
"Hi there," he said. "You owe me�"
"Owe you what?!" she asked, struggling to get away.
"A cigarette, a kiss, and your company for the next week."
"I think I can do all of those�.and probably stick in some freebies." She said. He smiled at her and touched her cheek again, kissing her softly. She got up and smiled at him, walking to get the bag.
They sat in the grass and unwrapped their food from their cellophane cocoons.

"This town is pretty small," he said. "I've not seen a record store yet."
"Don't speak too soon hon�." Madison said, pointing at the sign at the end of the block. He smiled largely and they walked to it.
"Small. And pretty mainstream." He said.
"You have to realize�you carry the east coast indie�..and my place carries west coast indie�.so who knows what middle American indie they may hold."
"And that's true. But still."

Rudyard flipped through the vinyl quickly, as Madison wandered toward the flyer area. The boys working in the store were punk rock in a conservative way. They looked at her and Rudyard with a confused eye.
Madison picked up a few pieces of colored paper and brought them to the counter and the boys looked at her shocked.
"Hi." She said. They muttered out a "hi" very tightly from their throats.
"I have some questions for you. Firstly, where is the Static Factory?"
"It's um�..it's about 2 miles north of here�if you take a right on the first street here, it's 2 miles up.. on Lincoln." One boy said, shoving his hands inside his blue jeans, which exposed his pyramid studded belt.
"Okay. And are the shows there any good?" she asked.
"It's an okay place. There aren't many kids really, around here�but the shows are good. It's a nice bar�.but I wouldn't know anything about that."
"Are there any post rock�. indie core places around?" she asked.
"Huh?" one boy said.
"Nevermind. Is there a paper with a listing of the clubs?"
"That's the first one over there in the bin." He said, pointing.
"Thank you very much." She said, grabbing one and stuffing the flyers in her pea coat pocket. She wandered towards Rudyard while flipping through the pages.
"So there's this show�." She said.
"Oh really�." He said, still flipping quickly through the sheet protected records.
"Yes. It's at a place called the Static Factory�and it's an indie club about two miles from here."
"Who is playing?" he asked.
"Only bands I've read about�.." she said. "But I'm desperate."
She handed him the flyer, and continued reading.
"Yeah..it looks pretty promising. I've seen the headliners before�they are quite dancey."
"I like dancy."
"I know you do," he smiled, shoving the flyer back in her pocket. He brought a record to the front, where the boys were watching them curiously.
They looked like a puppy shying away from an abusive hand.
"Do you have the original pressing of this anywhere?" he asked. "You have the first in the second release�and the second pressing�is there more in back or anything?"
"Um��." One boy said.
"What is out there is all we have." The other said. Rudyard nodded and walked back to the bin he was digging in.
Madison returned to the desk and laid her open newspaper on the counter.
"Now what about this place?" she pointed at the ad.

"Where are you guys from?" the one boy asked as Madison leaned on the counter, waiting for Rudyard to finish his mini inventory.
"I'm from San Diego�.Mr. Record Consumer is from DC."
"I knew you weren't from around here." He said. Madison laughed at him innocently and closed her paper.
"I can only read funny personal ads for so long�.come on kid." She called out into the store.
"All right." He sighed. She smiled at him and he walked towards her and they left.

"So we have a date tonight." She said. "Pick you up at 7?"
"Sounds good." He said. "But don't make me walk this time."
"Fine. I'll borrow the neighbor kid's bike."
He laughed at her and shook his head. She walked beside him and put her hand in his coat pocket, and gently brushed against his.
"Hi." He said, looking at her hand.
"Hi. I think we've already met." She smiled, pulling it out and batting her eyes at him, walking farther away.

"So you owe me a couple drinks," she said.
"Why is that?" he asked, fixing his hair to go out.
"Well, I don't know. But you do." She smiled, pulling her collar out from the inside of her sweater.
"Okay. I guess that suffices." He smiled. She looked at him, his hair perfect, and she sighed.
"You are making my knees weak you are so hot." She said, laughing. He smiled at her, and shyed away. She continued to smooth her outfit.

They grabbed their jackets and buttoned them up firmly, adding gloves which were bundled together in their pockets.
Rudyard walked quickly up the street, leaving his breath floating behind him so Madison could walk through it.
"Slow down, yo." She said. He laughed at her and apologized quickly.
"Some of us aren't as tall as others."
He walked with her and the club appeared closer than they anticipated. The front was decorated with a few smoking fellows, wandering from conversation to conversation. They submitted their ID's at the door and paid a $6 cover fee, and soon, were inside.
James Brown was playing over the speaker system, and both danced softly on their way to the bar, checking the place out.
They watched as a group of shaggy men dressed nicely in black set their instruments on the stage, and checked the sound.
"He's got nice hair." Madison said to Rudyard who looked at the said boy on stage, and then at her.
"Mine's nicer."
"True. But still."
They smiled at each other and reverted to watching the people milling around on the stage.
When the band finally started, Madison rushed up close and watched with large open green eyes. Rudyard stood slightly behind her, but next to her. She brushed against him while she rocked, upon occasion. He stood and watched her move from side to side, alternating rhythm between her shoulders and her hips. The guitarist before them ate it up; he continually came in front of her and thrusted himself at her. She'd shake her head and step back a few feet, still rocking.
Madison looked over at Rudyard, glancing to observe his enjoyment. He was looking at her. She smiled, and brought her attention to the band again.
"Let me hear you say Ye-ah," the singer said. The audience replied. "Ye-ah. That feel's good. It feels good."
Madison looked at Rudyard again, and he was still glancing at her. She blushed and tore herself from his attention.
The start of a new song began, and Madison brought her hands up and clapped until they became sore.