| Lump |
| A lump In my throat Like a lump in the butter maple sauce I drench my walnut blondie with To comfort myself. But the sauce-lump dissolves. I'm not so lucky. Unless it dissolves Through my eyes and nose Down my throat Back into my stomach To be formed tomorrow After class On the drive To somewhere But not the library. Passing houses Seeing families Wondering what they do for a living Wishing I could be them. To be done with this all Relaxing with their bills And their children. Or to be the children Carefree When it was all black And white And no one cheated And no one lost the Birthday party games Like I am losing now. "You've come so far." I wonder Is that an accusation? Have I wasted money, Time, effort? Quit now Or be humiliated. Pack the car, Drive through the streets To home To those who have no idea What it's like I can remember What I thought When a friend quit a job Because it was too hard And I thought I was better. And I can remember Hearing about those In my class Who were now education majors (an admission of inability as a science major) And I thought I was better. |
| And now Will they think that of me? Perhaps I am The only vindictive one. No. That's doubtful. But I am The only one Who gets What she deserves. Like a slap, A push down. I came to the party. I sat in the front. The host asked me to retire to the rear. And now what? And now the lump. Graduation Is futile When there's nothing Waiting at the next turn. And so this lump. And I cannot call Anyone Because it would be An admission Of defeat. I can remember My sister saying "You'll never make it." And I cried then. And she was sorry. She gave me a picture With an inspiring phrase. But she was right. And this was before All the hard stuff. Everyone is Unsympathetic And I suppose I deserve it. |
| superb! show me more! |
| pathetic! let me go! |