Lost For You (Part 10: Good Mother)

Beth swung her legs over the edge of the bridge as she stared down at the smooth surface of the water. She glanced over at Max, who was staring down the path they'd come from. She watched as he looked down at the ground, studying his sneakers, and then brought his eyes back to the path. Reaching for his hand next to hers on the ledge of the bridge, she squeezed his hand gently.

He brought his eyes to stare at hers and she gave him a smile. Max returned the grin, his features easing into a quick smile. They both looked when they heard footsteps coming from the path. Beth hopped down from the ledge of the bridge and found that she couldn't let Max's hand go.

Everything depended on his father meeting them that afternoon. She'd always felt as though their lives were in a kind of limbo because their mothers held out for the reappearance of their fathers. If her father came back, everything would be exactly how she'd always dreamed. Max squeezed her hand as his father came into sight. She breathed a sigh of relief as Max walked up to them and tentatively gave both of them hugs. She was surprised, but pleased.

"You kids look so much like your mothers," Max said, his voice amazed.

Beth looked at him, puzzled. "Really? Mom, Aunt Liz and Aunt Isabel have always said how much Max looks like you. I know I look like Mom, and she says Mike takes after our father," Beth grinned, a dimple appearing in her cheek.

Max smiled, he remembered that Maria had the same smile as Beth. "I see so much of Liz in you Max, her eyes especially," Max said, studying his son's face.

"I guess we see the people we love reflected in each other," Max replied, catching his father's eyes with his own.

Max looked back at him, understanding what he was saying and nodded without a sound. Finally, he tore his eyes away and quickly looked at Beth. "Michael's on his way, or at least he should be soon," Max said, knowing she would want to know.

Beth's heart stopped and she blinked back tears. The thought of seeing her father left her speechless. She managed to nod and reach for Max's hand, squeezing it gently to show her thanks.

"Did you tell them? Liz, Maria, Alex and Isabel, did you tell them I'm here?" Max asked softly.

Beth laughed out loud. "Do you think it would be just the two of us here if we had?" Max asked his father, his eyes laughing.

Max shrugged, honestly unsure of what to expect from Liz or anyone after he'd been gone for ten years.

"We split up from Aunt Isabel, Belle and Mike a little while ago. We can't be gone for long. Max, why can't we tell them? Don't you think they've suffered enough?" Beth pleaded with her Max.

"I know Beth, I just have to make sure Mom won't get her heart broken again. And I won't do that to Maria and Isabel," Max said, turning his eyes back to his father. "What do you want to do?" he asked, deciding the straightforward approach was the best.

Max sighed, putting his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the bridge. "I've been thinking about this all night. I didn't even sleep. Meeting you two has really proven something to me. I've missed so much. Seeing Liz in the museum yesterday made me realize how much I still love her. I know she's missed me, and I know she'll be happy to see me. I also know she'll be angry that I left like I did. My only defense is that I thought I was doing the right thing," Max said, his eyes fixed on the two kids.

"She knows that. She does, really," Max pressed on when his father didn't object. "I think that if she knew you were here, she'd want to know. We all have a second chance here. Actually, our mothers have the second chance. It's our first chance to know what it's like to have fathers."

"Even if she can forgive me, I'm not sure I can forgive myself for everything that I haven't been there for. I wasn't there when she was pregnant, when she and Maria came here all alone. I wasn't there when you needed me either. Maybe I've missed too much," Max said, his voice lowering to a whisper.

Beth unzipped her backpack and pulled out a book, leather bound and thick with pages. She handed it to Max, who looked at her in surprise. "Max said we should bring this to you, to show you. Mom made it a long time ago, and she made it for you, for when you came back," Beth said.

Max ran his hand over the smooth surface of the book, his heart beating rapidly as he wondered what was inside. The kids jumped up to the ledge of the bridge, sitting on either side of Max as he opened the book to the first page.

It was dated simply July 16, 2002 with a picture of Liz standing in front of an old apartment building in New York City. Her arms were held up high as she gestured to the dark cement shape. In Maria's angular handwriting, underneath the picture of Liz read: "Our first apartment". Max grinned at the picture, imagining what the two girls must have felt once they'd made in to New York on their own.

"Aunt Maria owns a photography studio in Greenwich Village. She started taking pictures, chronicling what happened while you guys were gone so they could show you when you got back. Maria made this one mainly about Mom and her pregnancy to show you," Max told his father.

Max shook his head, amazed at Maria generosity and love for Liz. Because Maria knew Liz would want him to see the pictures.

Max turned the pages carefully, not wanting to bend the edges or put fingerprints on the glossy surfaces of the photos. Each picture told an amazing story. He watched as Liz grew bigger and rounder as the pictures progressed. There were pictures of Liz measuring her stomach every few months, pictures of Liz and Maria together, their stomachs both swollen.

Max felt tears come to his eyes when he came to a picture of Liz and Isabel, sitting on the couch. Liz was leaning back, her feet propped up on the coffee table. Isabel was leaning over Liz's stomach, her ear pressed to the side. Liz was smiling at Isabel while Isabel had her eyes closed. His sister had an expression of calm on her face, and her hands gently on Liz's stomach, she almost seemed to be cradling Liz.

"Mom said that when that picture was taken Isabel was so happy. Aunt Isabel said it was the first time she felt close to you since you left," Max said.

His father nodded, understanding that Isabel must have felt utterly alone without the feeling of Max and Michael nearby.

Max continued to turn the pages until he stopped at a picture labeled January 1, 2003. He stopped breathing at the sight of Liz, over eight months pregnant.

She looked beautiful, curled up in the window seat of their apartment, her feet tucked as close as her stomach would allow. The picture was in black and white, the shades of gray giving away the wintry day outside, which announced itself in the soft snowflakes falling. Liz was staring outside, unaware that Maria was even taking the picture. Her hands were gently wrapped around her stomach, and Max drank in the sight of her body, rounded in pregnancy. From what they had done together, from their love.

Reluctantly, he turned the page, which showed Liz holding her son. He looked at the date, which read January 4, 2003. Searching his memory, he tried to recall where he and Michael had been the day his son was born. Narrowing his eyes, he finally remembered. They'd gone to the west coast of Mexico around Christmas time and stayed until late spring. Neither of them had seen the Pacific Ocean before and Max had spent hours staring out at the green and blue waves, wishing Liz had been there with him.

"Beth and Mike were born two days later," Max said, turning the page to a photo of Maria holding both of her babies. On the opposite side of the page Max smiled at the sight of Liz holding Max, Maria holding Beth, Isabel holding Mike and Alex standing in between his pregnant wife and Liz. They looked like a family, Max thought.

He wasn't blind though, he saw the tired look in Liz's eyes in the pictures, how sad she looked. He also saw how her eye lit up in the pictures of Liz with her newborn son and Max realized that their son had been Liz's sanctuary. In a way, Max thought that maybe their son had saved her.

"Aunt Isabel had Belle March 8, we were all premature by about a month. Really soon after that Grandma and Grandpa came up," Max said as his father flipped to the pictures of his parents holding their grandson.

He couldn't believe how happy his parents looked, his mother holding Max and his father holding Belle. "Do they know?" Max asked, suddenly wondering how his parents had taken their disappearance.

"Yeah, Isabel told them before she and Alex came to New York. She needed them to understand why you two had left and what it had done to all of them. They understood, and they come up here a couple of times a year," Max said, anticipating the next question, he continued. "None of our parents have ever gone back to Roswell."

"What about Liz's parents? Yesterday you said they wouldn't support her, but didn't they come at all?" Max asked.

His son fell silent and looked away. Beth looked at him sympathetically before she explained. "Aunt Liz's parents have never met any of us kids. They never came when Liz sent them pictures, she sent them a few letters telling them when we were born, but they never responded, so she stopped. Max has never met them," Beth said softly. She knew it was hard for her Max, he didn't understand what kept Liz's parents away.

Max looked at his son and felt sad that Liz's parents had not been apart of his life. He put a hand on his son's shoulder. "You must know it has nothing to do with you. Liz's parents always had certain hopes for Liz, and when she and I were together they thought I was changing those hopes too much. I don't know that they ever realized that Liz was following her own hopes. They thought I distracted her too much, that we were too intense. They didn't understand that Liz and I were meant to be," Max said.

Young Max nodded, meeting his father's eyes once again. "When did you know that you and Mom were meant to be? I mean, what was the exact moment that you realized that?" Max asked.

His father smiled easily, knowing the answer right away. "I knew there was something special about Liz the second I saw her, getting off the bus with Isabel that first day of third grade. We knew each other for the next few years, but we never really got close until that day in the Crashdown when Liz got shot. But I knew from the first time I saw her," Max replied, smiling as he turned his gaze back to the photos.

Max and Beth's eyes met as his father continued to look at the pictures.

Suddenly, Max's head shot up, which caught Beth's attention. She knew instantly why he's moved. Isabel must be calling them back, communicating with Max. He hopped down from the ledge and faced his father. "We have to go, Isabel is going to start looking for us if we don't get back," Max said as his father reluctantly handed the photo book over.

"Thank you for bringing that. I can't tell you how much it meant to see those pictures," Max said as Beth put the book back in her pack.

"Do you think you're ready to see her again?" Max asked his father.

Max sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "I don't know, I just don't know if I can yet, if it's the best thing for her," he admitted, staring at his hands.

His son considered his answer for a minute before he spoke up. "You can think about it until tomorrow. We'll meet you on the terrace of Belvedere Castle tomorrow at five. How's that sound?" Max asked.

His father nodded and the kids quickly packed up their stuff before they ran down the path towards Isabel. Max watched them go and resisted the urge not to follow. He knew he could see his sister, his friends, the woman he loved, but his uncertainty won out in the end.

The next day, Liz was packing up her papers and books after a long day of teaching. Midterms were finally over, but that didn't stop her class schedule from being busy. She flipped through the messages Shelby had given her and smiled when she came across one from Isabel, reminding her about a prearranged girl's night for that evening.

Alex was going to be on babysitting duty as she and Maria and Isabel went out. She slung her bag over her shoulder and left her office, turning the lights of as she went. She checked her watch and saw that it was four thirty. She walked across campus to the subway stop and got on, gazing out into the dark tunnel as she thought back to what Max had asked her the night before.

"Mom, when did you know that you and Dad were meant to be?" Max had asked.

She'd been putting dishes back into the cupboard and she'd frozen at the question. It had been the first time that Max had referred to his father as "Dad". She'd thought for a second before answering, somehow knowing that her answer was very important to her son.

"Even though we didn't really fall in love until high school, I knew there was something about Max from the first time I saw him, with Isabel in third grade. I didn't know it then, but later I realized that even at seven years old, Max and I were meant to be," Liz had replied.

Max had merely nodded and smiled. That morning, he'd asked her to meet him in the park at five. She was heading to Belvedere Castle to see what her son had planned.

"Max, are you sure this is a good idea?" Beth asked nervously, pacing a little as Max stood calmly next to her on the open terrace of Belvedere Castle.

"Relax Beth. At the rate my father is going, he's never going to know that he's been ready to see my mother again since the day he left. I'm just speeding the process along," Max stated carefully.

"But, what if she's mad?" Beth asked fearfully.

Max shrugged. "She probably will be, but that's not what's important. What's important is that I know how much my parents love each other. There's no reason they should be apart," Max replied, glancing over the edge of the castle terrace.

It was getting close to five and the sun was getting low in the sky, casting long shadows over the park from the tall buildings. He was a little nervous about bringing his parents together, especially about deceiving both of them, but he couldn't wait. Ten years had been long enough.

Max looked up as his father came around the side of the castle, catching sight of the kids and coming over. He waved and smiled. Beth gave him a tight smile, which he caught and looked at her, puzzled. "Everything ok, Beth?" he asked.

Startled, she nodded. "What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just dandy," she replied, almost a little too sure of herself.

Max shrugged and turned to his son. "So, did you kids have anymore questions? What did you have planned for today?" Max asked, enjoying the prospect of spending some time with his son and Beth. He suddenly realized that Max was staring behind him, over his shoulder to the path he'd just come from.

He turned his head to look.

Liz walked up the rickety and uneven path to Belvedere Castle, choosing her way carefully on the stone steps. She finally came to the top of the rise and she caught sight of the tower of the castle poking above the trees. She knew she was a few minutes late, so she hurried her steps. She was out of breath as she came round to the terrace of the castle and she looked around, distracted as she searched for her son.

She was puzzled as she saw Max and Beth standing with a dark haired man whose back was to her. Max's eyes seemed to lock on hers and she cocked her head at her son. His gaze was so intense and serious, she felt her heart speed up. Beth looked scared and Liz grew worried. She took a few steps closer, wanting to know why the kids were talking to someone who obviously had them upset. She stopped in her tracks when the man turned his head to look at her.

Oh my God.

Liz's thoughts echoed and roared like a train as her eyes met those of Max Evans. She drew a shaky breath and felt the blood pound in her head. She was frozen in place as she looked at the man she loved, standing in front of her after she'd been longing for him and missing him for ten years.

"Max!!!"

Crawl

Faces I remember
I still see
Places in a memory
Hold onto me
And I can't wait to crawl out of my shell

Promises you tell me
In a thousand ways
Moving on forever
Living life this way
I can't wait to crawl
I can't wait at all
I can't wait to crawl
I can't wait anymore

Cause if I wait too long
How am I going to reach my destination?
Now I know the time has come
It's all right here
It's all so clear to me

I can't wait anymore

Lost For You (Part 11: Crawl)

Liz felt her body begin to shake violently, as if she'd been out in a freezing snowstorm and had only just come inside. When she called his name she wasn't even sure if her voice had come from her. She'd been dreaming of the moment when she would see Max again since she was eighteen years old.

Time almost seemed to stop. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but Liz felt like an eternity passed as she focused on Max and the rest of the world disappeared. He looked exactly as she remembered, his dark hair, soulful eyes and sharp jawline. His broad shoulders were turned towards her and her eyes darted down to his large hands, which looked so gentle.

A sob escaped from her throat as she looked at him. Her vision blurred and her knees began to weaken. Somewhere in the back of her mind she acknowledged that her shoulder bag had slumped to the ground as all her attention was diverted to Max. The tears began to fall down her face as she cried and tried to take a step towards Max.

Her feet didn't seem to want to move, but Max saw her crumbling and his eyes softened. Crossing the castle terrace, he opened his arms and she fell against him. He closed his eyes as his hands automatically went around her waist and up her back to cradle her head. For the first time in ten years Max felt her hair between his fingers.

He felt her shaking and he heard her sobs against his ear. Her small body fit so perfectly against his and the pain of separation seemed to evaporate. Everything felt better when he could feel her warmth and hear her heartbeat against him.

Liz gripped Max as if he were her lifeline. Her fingers dug into his shoulder and her hand around the back of his neck threaded through his short hair. She couldn't stop crying because she had forgotten what it felt like to be held by Max. She thought she remembered, but her memories paled in comparison to the real thing. The pain started to ease and Liz realized that she was no longer crying from sadness, she was crying because she was the happiest she'd been in years.

"I'm so sorry," Max murmured in her ear.

She burrowed her face against his neck, trying to sniffle back her tears. He continued to comfort her, rubbing her back, stroking her hair until she stopped shaking. Finally feeling strong enough, she pulled back, still keeping her hands on his forearms so she could look at his face. With one hand she stroked his face, touching him everywhere. He closed his eyes as she touched him, enjoying the feel of her light fingers over his skin.

He lost himself in her touch so much that it took him a few seconds to register the feeling of her lips on his. He kept his eyes closed as she increased the pressure of her lips against his. Deepening the kiss, he parted her lips and traced her lips with his own. She sighed against him and Max's knees nearly buckled. Liz's mouth on his had such a potent effect on him, it was being drunk. When he finally reluctantly pulled back she gazed up at him with such sad eyes.

"Max, I've missed you so much," she said, her voice low and trying to rationalize who she was speaking to.

"I know. I had no idea how much I would miss you," Max replied, gently touching her face with his fingertips.

"Why did you and Michael leave without telling any of us? God, Michael! Where is he? Maria will want to see him," Liz exclaimed, as she suddenly realized what Max's appearance meant.

"Michael's in Venezuela, but he should be here soon. I left a message for him to come. You know why we left like we did," Max said softly, knowing that even after as long as it had been, Liz would still understand his way of thinking.

"Because you thought you were protecting us all," Liz replied, dropping her eyes to the ground.

He nodded mutely and they fell silent for a few seconds. Max could sense Liz's anger and the sadness she had lived with for years. He wondered if she would be able to forgive him for the pain he'd caused.

Suddenly, her shoulders straightened and she looked at him right in the eye. Her gaze was steady and strong as she refused to look away. "I understand why you left. I even love you for it. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering where you are, if you're alive," Liz glanced behind them at their son, who was standing off to the side with Beth, watching his parents with a wide grin. "And I don't want our son to wonder who his father is."

Max nodded, knowing that he had a lot to answer to for the actions he and Michael had taken. He knew that the decision that he had agreed to with Michael had done more harm than good and that he was lucky to have a chance to start over.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I won't ever run off again," Max replied.

Liz shook her head and pressed a finger against his lips, stopping him. "Don't be sorry. Just remember who your family is and who will stand by you, no matter what," Liz replied, running her hands up Max's shoulders.

He finally nodded and smiled, a gesture, which Liz had forgotten, could elicit a smile from her on sight. She smiled back and found that she couldn't stop laughing as Max leaned closer, hugging her tight against his chest. She almost couldn't draw breath, but the feeling was a pleasant reminder of who held her close.

"I love you," Max whispered.

Liz felt the tears gathering in her eyes, she'd wondered if she would ever hear those words from the man she loved. "God, I've missed you," she replied before she pulled back and leaned in for another kiss. Against his lips she murmured to him. "I love you."

Across the terrace, Max and Beth watched Max and Liz, both kids grinning. Beth had clutched at Max's hand when Liz had appeared, she'd been so afraid of what her aunt would say to them. When Liz and Max had embraced, Beth felt as though a huge weight was lifted. She and Max had managed to help bring his parents back together.

"Look at them," Beth whispered to Max.

He nodded and squeezed her hand as his parents kissed. They looked at each other and Beth froze, Max's dark eyes seemed to soften as he looked at her and her eyes drifted down to their
hands, fingers interlaced. Beth felt her breath catch as Liz and Max walked over to them. Max let go of her hand to hug his mother.

"Max! Did you do all this?" Liz asked as she pulled back, looking straight into her son's eyes. He nodded and she looked at Max and back at their son. "How did-how long have you known Max was here?"

"Just since the field trip two days ago," Max said.

Liz closed her eyes almost painfully. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

Max sensed this was a conversation between Max and his mother, so he stepped away, next to Beth.

"I didn't want to get your hopes up, or disappoint you if he wasn't going to stay around," Max replied, his voice low.

Liz sighed, realizing her son and Max did have quite a bit to catch up on. She knew without a doubt that Max would never leave her and their son once he knew there was no danger, but her son didn't know his father enough to realize that. "You are so like your father," Liz said, embracing her son once more.

They pulled apart and Liz smiled at Max, them both knowing that things were settled. Max looked at his son and Liz and felt a twinge of envy at their easy non-verbal communication that seemed to flow so easily. Liz caught his gaze and held out her hand for him, which he took without hesitation.

Liz sighed at the feeling of her son's and Max's hands in hers, something she'd always wondered if she would feel.

"Shouldn't we tell the others?" Beth asked, not wanting to interrupt the reunion, but she knew the rest of the family would want to know Max was back.

Liz looked at Max again, unable to stop glancing at him. "Yes, we should," she replied, reaching for her cellphone.

"Did Liz say what this was all about?" Alex asked as he and Isabel entered the elevator of Liz and Maria's apartment building.

Isabel shrugged her shoulders. "No, she just said to come to Maria's place right away. Maria and Mike and Belle are already there and Liz has Max and Beth, so I don't know," Isabel replied, trying hard to cover the initial fear she'd felt at Liz's urgent call. At first she'd been concerned for the children, and her relief at their safety had not been lost on her husband.

"They're ok, Isabel. You haven't let Max and Michael down," Alex said, stroking Isabel's long blond hair, which was swept up in a ponytail.

She eased back against him and he kissed her cheek. Sometimes she felt like Alex was the only one who understood how afraid she was that something would happen to Max and Michael's children and that it would be her fault for not protecting them.

The elevator bell dinged as they reached the top floor and Alex nudged her out into the hallway with a gentle bump of his hips. Alex walked next to her slowly and Isabel smiled at his attempts to slow her down, at his attempts to calm her.

They knocked on Maria's door and Mike answered, letting them in. Maria came from the kitchen with Belle following closely behind. Her eyes were curious as Alex and Isabel entered the living
room. "We don't know what all this is about," Alex said, sitting down on the couch.

Isabel walked over to the window and stared outside at the city lights, just starting to come on in the dim remaining sunlight. Belle sat down next to her father and he put an arm around his daughter. Mike walked over to Isabel and she put an arm around him, instinctively pulling him closer.

"Is everything ok?" Mike asked Isabel.

She looked down at him and tried to muster a smile. "Something's different," she paused, then her eyes shifted as she thought she heard footsteps in the hallway outside the apartment. Her voice sounded strained even to herself. "Max . . ."

"Max is fine, Aunt Isabel, he's with Beth and Aunt Liz," Mike said, trying to reassure her.

Isabel pulled away from him gently and quickly walked to the door. Alex looked up as she passed him and he knew her look of determination meant something had happened. He stood to follow Isabel, but stopped when she yanked open the front door and came face to face with her brother. "Max . . ." Isabel's voice trailed off and she smiled at Max, who stood next to Liz, Beth and his son. She knew she was crying when Max reached up and brushed the tears from her cheek.

"Hey Iz," Max whispered.

Isabel sobbed and reached for Max, his arms automatically going around her waist as she held on tight. For the longest time they just stood and held each other. Slowly, she felt him coming back to her until she could feel his presence filling a space in her mind that had been achingly hollow.

Somehow, Maria got everyone inside the apartment and she shut the door. The kids were talking excitedly with Max and Beth as they told the story of how they'd found Max in the Park. Maria and Alex naturally gravitated towards Liz until they stood facing each other. Maria and Alex saw Liz's smile and the happy light in her eyes and they hugged her, the three of them embracing for a long time.

After a few minutes, Isabel finally pulled back from Max and she kissed him on the cheek. She felt the loss of his arms around her as Maria edged over and pulled Max into a hug. Isabel reached behind her without looking, sensing Liz standing right there. Liz gripped her hand with hers and they both looked at Max, standing in Maria's apartment and looking as if not a day had passed.

Maria finally stepped back and she shoved Max slightly. "That was for whatever compelled you guys to leave in the first place. Where is Michael?" she asked, her voice dropping quickly to a hint of desperation.

Max touched the side of her face, trying to comfort her like he had her daughter. "He's on his way. He's been in Venezuela and he should have gotten my message by now. He'll come straight here and right to me," Max promised.

Maria's eyes mirrored her disappointment, but she managed to smile and hug Max once more, happy her friend was back. She moved back and Alex stepped forward, giving Max a hug before he stepped back and gripped his shoulder. Max caught his eyes and held the other man's gaze. "Thank you for taking care of them, all of them," Max replied.

Alex smiled and nodded, leaning forward. "It's been a pleasure Max. It's good to have you back," Alex replied.

Max shook his hand, then gestured to the wedding ring on Alex's finger. "So, you married my sister?" he asked.

Alex grinned and glanced over at Isabel, who stood off to the side, holding Liz's hand. "Well, you weren't around to ask for a blessing," Alex joked, putting an arm around Max.

He laughed as Alex pulled him over to the kids, knowing their curiosity was the only thing keeping them as quiet as they had been. "I'm guessing you know Max and Beth, this is Beth's twin, Michael," Alex said, gesturing to the boy standing next to Beth. Max held out his hand and Mike shook it, his grip tight.

"Mike," he corrected.

Max nodded, making a mental note. He blinked as he looked at the boy, who gave him a slightly crooked smile. "Maria, he looks just like . . ."

"Michael, yes, I know," Maria answered ruefully. She ruffled the spiky hair of her son.

"And this is Belle, our daughter," Alex said, pulling the girl next to Mike over.

Max kneeled down on his knees and looked straight into her eyes. She had light red hair with a touch of blonde to it, like her father, but her smile was vintage Isabel. Max smiled at her and when he saw her smile back, he suddenly felt as though he were ten years old again, looking at his sister.

"I knew you'd come back," she said confidently.

Max cocked his head to the side. "You did? How?" Max asked. He hadn't even known that he would come back.

"Because of everything that they've said. There was no way that could all be true and you would not come back," Belle stated.

Max's face softened into a smile and he nodded, not really trusting himself to speak after being so quickly accepted into these children's lives. He felt like he'd always been apart of their lives. They looked at him not as a stranger, but like they knew him. As Max stood and turned to Liz, walking into her arms again, he realized that they did know him. Maria, Liz, Isabel and Alex had made sure that their children knew who he and Michael were.

And finally, as she held him tight and whispered his name near his ear, Max began to cry. He was finally home.

"What happens now?" Isabel asked the group. They sat sprawled around the living room. Maria was perched in the window seat nearby, Isabel sat with Alex on the couch, his head in her lap as she stroked his hair. Liz was curled against Max on the loveseat next to the couch. Max took a deep breath, they'd been talking about the last ten years, what had happened to them all, for hours. The kids had gone to bed an hour before, but the adults had stayed up.

"I wish I knew when Michael would get here. He doesn't know about the whole situation, I just told him to get here right away. He'll come as soon as he gets the message," Max replied, feeling helpless as Maria returned her gaze to outside the window. He felt powerless in his inability to give
Maria a better answer.

Liz stirred against him slightly, he'd felt her body loosen and ease when she'd fallen asleep against him half and hour ago.

"What do you want to do now?" Alex asked pointedly. He couldn't stop protecting all the women he loved for an instant, and Max realized that as he met Alex's fierce gaze. And he was grateful for Alex's slightly defensive tone, even though leaving had been a mistake, he and Michael had known that Alex would take care of Isabel, Maria and Liz.

"There's so much I want to do. Most of all, I want to try and make up for all the time I've wasted without Liz and my son. But I also want to fix some of the problems we left behind in Roswell," Max said, knowing his sister would object.

She didn't disappoint him as she looked up, startled. "Problems? What problems Max? Mom and Dad already know everything. If you want to see them, they can be here by tomorrow night," Isabel replied.

Max shook his head, stroking Liz's hair. "I do want to see them, but that's not it. There are things to straighten out with Liz's parents and with the sheriff. It's been over ten years, and it's been long enough. I can tell Liz and Max have suffered and I want to make things better for them," Max replied.

"You want to leave right away?" Isabel replied, her voice hurt.

Max met her eyes and was startled by the vulnerability he saw there. "Not right away. I just want to go back soon. Maybe it's time for us all to go back and get some closure," Max replied.

Maria stood up from her seat and faced the group. "Max is right. We've avoided Roswell like the plague and it's time that we stop running. Once Michael gets here, I think we should all go back. We can leave the kids here, I'll call my mom," Maria said, walking to the kitchen.

Max watched her go, knowing that Maria needed to do something while she waited for Michael to return. "Why is she calling her mom?" Max asked.

"Amy can come and watch the kids while we're gone," Alex replied.

Max nodded and then leaned back in his chair, listening to Liz breath softly against his chest. He looked at the clock on the wall and then at Liz. "It's getting late. I think I'll get Liz into bed," Max said.

He carefully shifted and put his arms underneath Liz, lifting her and trying not to shift her too much. She automatically put her arms around his neck and snuggled against him as he carried her towards the door. He was amazed that even after ten years she still responded to him so naturally, as if her body hadn't forgotten what it was like to he held by his.

Maria held open the front door and handed him a key. "Straight down the hall, last door on the left," Maria said softly, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek gently.

Max walked with Liz down the hall, wondering at how she barely weighed heavier than a feather. He unlocked the door to the apartment and carried Liz in the direction of the bedroom, declining to turn on any lights so he wouldn't wake Liz. Their son was staying at Maria's and Max was determined not to leave Liz that night.

He settled her onto the bed and she instinctively moved under the blankets when he pulled them down for her. At the loss of his arms around her, Liz reached for him and he sat down next to her. She slept quietly, her mind drifting between being awake and asleep. He unlaced her shoes and after pulling his own sneakers off, joined her under the covers.

She fit against him perfectly, melding every space and curve of his body as she relaxed with a sigh. Max closed his eyes and traced the edge of her spine with his fingers. He ached to touch every inch of Liz, he'd missed how in tune with her body he was.

When he feet tangled with his for warmth he smiled, remembering back to the winter when they'd first gone to Snowmass. Her feet were always cold and his were always warm, so she naturally moved towards him. He never minded, it merely reminded him how close she was, and after as long as it had been, it was a welcome feeling.

Max breathed deep, smelling her everywhere around him, on the sheets, pillows and right in his arms and he fell asleep easily for the first time in ten years.

Baby I’ve been searching like everybody else
Can’t say nothing different about myself
Sometimes I’m an angel
And sometimes I’m cruel
And when it comes to love
I’m just another fool
Yes I’ll climb a mountain
I’m gonna swim the sea
There ain’t no act of God girl
Could keep you safe from me

My arms are reaching out
Out across this canyon
I’m asking you to be my true companion
True companion
True companion

Lost For You (Part 12: True Companion)

Liz blinked her eyes sleepily as sunlight filtered in through her eyelids and imposed on her dreams. She sighed and tried to ignore the bright beams, snuggling closer to her warm pillow. Suddenly, her eyes popped open and she sat up quickly, staring down at Max next to her in bed.

Her hands flew to her face as her mind registered the shock of seeing him sleeping next to her. She’d almost completely forgotten the events of the last day when Max had finally come back to her. Her movements startled Max a little and he mumbled in his sleep. “Liz?”

She softened at his whispering of her name. She brushed the rumpled hair away from his forehead as he settled back into a peaceful sleep. Carefully, she slid off the bed and watched Max for a minute. She held her breath, realizing she felt as though she were waiting to wake up from any of the countless dreams she’d had of Max coming back. Reassured that he wasn’t going to leave anytime in the next ten minutes, she resolved to shower before he woke up.

Max stirred when he heard the sound of running water from the bathroom. But his bathroom in his apartment was on the other side of the room. He opened his eyes and smiled when he remembered that he was in Liz’s apartment. And her bed was much more comfortable than his was.

Now that it was daytime, he could see where Liz and Max had lived for the last ten years. He padded out to the living room and to the tiny kitchen, pouring a glass of water before he went to the main room.

He froze when his eyes settled on the dozens of framed pictures covering the walls like a collage. He felt tears prickling his eyes as he looked at the pictures of him and Liz. And all the pictures taken from their high school days back at Roswell. He didn’t think he was ever going to be able to repay her for how she and the others had not given up on him and Michael.

Frowning, he checked his watch. He should probably call Corrine in Venezuela to see if Michael had returned from Angel Falls. Max really wanted to give Maria and her kids a better idea when Michael would be joining them. Max grinned, knowing that Michael would never be able to leave once he heard there was no reason to and once he caught sight of Maria and their children.

“Hey.”

Max turned quickly at the sound behind him and smiled as his son walked through the front door. He put his glass down and faced Max, who yawned as he walked up to his father.

“Too much excitement last night?” Max asked, causing his son to grin.

“Yeah, but only the good kind,” he replied.

“I never got a chance to thank you, for bringing Liz to the Park yesterday. Without you I don’t know if I would have gotten the nerve to confront her,” Max admitted.

His son nodded and looked hesitantly at him. “I know this is kind of new to you,” Max said, gesturing to the pictures and the obvious remnants of his life back in Roswell.

“It’s a lot to think about, but this is all something I’ve wanted, so badly, for as long as I can remember. I know that this is where I belong, even if it’ll take some adjustment,” Max replied, more convinced than ever. “I do wish that I’d been more a part of your life though, Max.”

Max looked at the father he’d always known that he had and he was silent. More than anything, he’d wished for a father who was there on birthdays and for every occasion from Christmas to baseball games. But he’d never doubted that he had a father, and that his father would care about him.

“Me too, Dad,” Max said quietly.

His father’s head shot up, and he struggled not to grin too widely when Max called him Dad for the first time. “We can start from now on, I’ll be a part of your life from now on, and you’ll be a part of mine,” Max promised and his son nodded in agreement.

“Mom said that you liked to play baseball back in high school,” Max mentioned.

“Yeah, I started to play on the school team junior year,” He agreed.

“I play first base on the team that Beth, Mike, Belle and I are on,” Max said.

“Really? That’s the position I played.”

Liz watched from the doorway of the living room, watching her son and Max, talking as though they’d known each other their entire lives. She knew they had catching up on to do, but seeing them together made her heart swell. She wondered if Max realized that their son looked exactly like him when he was the same age. She was staring at them when Max looked up at her and smiled.

“Hi Mom!” he said, walking over to give her a hug before he went to his room. She kissed him on the forehead before she walked towards Max.

He tentatively reached for her and she easily walked into his arms. She felt him sigh and she looked into his eyes. “What is it?” she asked, slightly concerned.

“I just never expected to be able to walk back into this life,” he replied. She thought for a minute.
“Max, it’s almost like you never even left. I know things have changed, but they haven’t changed for the worse, have they?” she asked, suddenly fearful that all the adjustments he was making were too much.

“Oh, God no, Liz. Things have changed for the better in every conceivable way. I just can’t believe that I have you, I have our son, and that we’re all together. It’s been ten years since I last heard my name from anyone from my past other than Michael. I was worried that Max was gone, and that thought, the thought of what we had being gone, scared me more than anything,” Max said, stroking her face with his hands. He touched her soft skin and her damp hair with gentle fingers.

“So you’ve gone by a different name all these years?” Liz asked curiously. He nodded and she nudged him. “Well, what was it?”

“Parker Maxwell.”

Liz smiled softly, realizing that all through the ten years they’d been apart, Max had held a piece of her close by, and that he’d thought of her every day. When he leaned down to kiss her she melted against him and closed her eyes as his hands cradled her face and neck.

As his mouth opened to her she groaned against him, her hands squeezing his shoulders. “Missed you,” he murmured against her lips.

She laughed a little and Max smiled, he’d missed the velvety sound of her laugh. “I can tell,” she managed to whisper back, pressing against him.

Max caught his breath and groaned at the feel of her soft body, almost closer than his own skin. "Baseball.”

Liz pulled back and looked at him quizzically. “Baseball?”

“Max said there’s a baseball game in the Park in less than an hour,” Max said, his finger tracing her collarbone through the neckline of her shirt.

Liz groaned and closed her eyes. “I forgot. Don’t forget where we left off, we’ll continue this later,” Liz said pointedly as she reluctantly backed away, heading for the kitchen.

Max smiled and watched her go, knowing there was no possible way he could forget.

“So, what has Michael been doing in Venezuela all these years?” Liz asked Max.

They were sitting next to the baseball diamond in the Great Lawn where the kids were in the middle of the fifth inning for their game. Maria had gone to buy some popcorn and left them spread out on the blanket. Liz sat crosslegged, with Max next to her, and she kept a watchful eye on the game and the kids.

“When we first got to Mexico Michael and I didn’t really do much other than the occasional odd job so we could eat and pay rent. One day Michael read about a UFO sighting in Venezuela and he wanted to go. I didn’t care too much, so I went with him. We ended up living in Caracas where Michael would go out for a few weeks at a time, find nothing and come back. I stayed in town and wrote until I left five years ago. Michael was always so determined, he kept searching even though he never found anything,” Max said, his eyes wandering up to the blue sky.

“Why did you leave?” Liz asked, trying to better understand how Max had ended up in New York City.

“I just couldn’t take the silence around me. I felt like I needed noise, people all around to hide me. I felt restless all the time, like I needed to keep moving. I was even feeling that way when Max found me. I’d just decided to return to Venezuela when Beth came running down the path with Max behind her,” Max said, looking at Liz.

She’d frozen at the thought of Max leaving, that she would have missed him again. “What made you decide to leave this time?” she asked softly. When Max hesitated, she took his chin in her hand, forcing him to look at her. “Max, what made you decide to leave?”

Max opened his mouth, suddenly fearful of what she might say when he told her he’d decided to leave because he’d seen her. Finally, he took a deep breath and knew he had to tell her the truth. No more secrets.

“I saw you in the museum the other day. I was doing an interview and someone told me you were married. I didn’t think it was safe for me to be near you still, but I knew that the thought of you so close, even in the same city, I knew it would be impossible to stay away. I couldn’t risk your safety,” Max said.

Liz nodded slowly and closed her eyes, both understanding and pained at the same time. He’d almost left again. If not for their son, they wouldn’t even be sitting together and he wouldn’t have come back to her. “I’ve been telling people I was married for years. It was just easier. And then there were less questions about Max,” she held up her left hand, drawing his attention to the wedding band on her finger.

His eyes widened and he wondered how he hadn’t noticed that she still wore the ring.

"But Max, I’ve been married to you in my heart for ten years. Probably longer. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember and that feeling hasn’t changed or faded with time. I think that’s why I could never let go of you, I didn’t want to and my heart wouldn’t let me,” Liz replied, tears gathering in her eyes as she recalled the unhappy years they’d been apart and the happier years before then, when they’d all been together in Roswell.

Max stroked her face gently, touching the soft skin of her neck and murmuring to her. “I couldn’t stay anywhere, even with Michael around. Everywhere I looked, I thought of you and wished you were there. So I kept running. I’m just glad I ran here,” Max said, pulling Liz into his arms.

She moved to lean against him, wrapped up in his arms and close enough to press her ear against his chest. She smiled as she listened to his heart thud quietly. With his hand playing with the ring on her finger, Liz sighed with content and watched their son on first base.

“Liz?”

“Hmm?” Liz’s voice was slightly sleepy as she looked up at Max. His eyes were hopeful as he looked down at her.

“Marry me?”

For just a second she wondered if he was kidding. His question had been so out of the blue from where they were and what they were doing. Watching their son play a baseball game, not in some fancy restaurant, like the Rainbow Room, with candlelight, champagne and Max down on one knee. Her smile widened as she thought about how much more perfect those two words had seemed because of where they were, because it wasn’t that fancy restaurant.

“Yes.”

Max grinned, hearing all the answer he needed as he leaned down to kiss her lips.

“Hey, Parker! Who’s that guy with your mom?” Jimmy, right field, yelled to Max as they waited for the next batter to come to the plate.

Max glanced at his parents, his mother sitting in his father’s lap and he grinned. It was like a dream come true. His mother had Max back, she’d never looked happier, and he finally had a father. “That’s my Dad,” Max said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Jimmy nodded, looking a little puzzled. Everyone knew what Liz had told them, that she was married, but they’d never seem Max’s father until that day. He didn’t know how he would ever get used to saying he had a father, and being able to point right at him.

He glanced at Beth, who was smiling at him. He noticed the sadness in her eyes, behind her
smile, and he wished that Michael would arrive. Max felt uneasy, like Michael should have been there by then, but he didn’t want to worry anyone, so he kept the thoughts to himself.

His thoughts were scattered as Beth called his name and he whipped his head around to watch as the batter hit the ball and it came straight for him. Snatching it out of the air, he touched the base quickly before hurling it at Beth on second base as the first base runner barreled for her. She met his eyes and caught the ball easily, and they completed the double play with practiced ease. Max grinned as he heard his mother cheering and he looked back behind him as his father’s voice joined in. Beth ran up to him as they started to head infield.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” she asked quietly.

Max turned to look at her and smiled widely. “Yeah, it is. He’ll be here soon Beth,” Max said, trying to sound confident.

“I hope so,” Beth replied, jogging ahead of him.

Max followed her and tried to shake the discomfort he felt. As much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, something didn’t feel right.

After they won the game, the kids joined Max, Liz and Maria by the side of the baseball diamond. Beth grinned when Max’s father lifted her up and placed her on his broad shoulders, and he grinned at her laughter. Max had seen how Beth naturally gravitated towards his father, he had a feeling it was because Max was the closest anyone had been to her own father.

Liz was pulling Max over to her and then she called to her son. The group fell silent as Max and Liz traded shy glances until young Max exploded. “What is it?”

“We’re getting married,” Liz said, reaching for her fiancé’s hand, interlacing her fingers with his.

Max looked at his parents, shaking his head in disbelief. As if there had been any doubt, he thought. But looking at them, he realized they might have doubted it, ten years had made them a bit tentative.

After Maria finished giving Liz hugs the two women began to talk about wedding plans and they all began to walk back towards the apartment. Without saying a word to Max or Liz, Maria managed to get the kids back at her apartment, giving Liz a pointed look as they walked down the hall.

Liz pulled out her key and tried to unlock the door of her apartment, but she found that her hand was shaking. Max stood closely behind her, she could feel his breath on her neck. When his arm came around her, to help steady her hand and unlock the door, she heaved a sigh.

Somehow they made it inside and Max turned her around, trapping her in his arms against the door. She swallowed nervously as his eyes trailed up and down her body. Sensing the tension in her body, he ran a hand over her long hair, trying to calm her. “Liz, what is it? We don’t have to do anything, I’d be more than happy to just hold you,” he said, and Liz felt the tension leave her body at his words.

“It’s not that. I just, haven’t done this in such a long time,” she stammered. “Not since we were together.”

“I know, neither have I,” Max replied.

They both realized that their breathing had synchronized and that Liz’s hands had come to rest on his shoulders, gently pushing his leather jacket off. He watched her as she removed the coat from his body and when she finally looked back up at him, he claimed her mouth with his. Liz felt as if the last ten years melted away and she was eighteen years old again, loving Max as if no time had passed.

Rolling over gently, Max kissed Liz’s bare shoulder before he pulled on his jeans as he got out of bed. She was sleeping quietly, and he was careful not to wake her. It was warm out, so he left his shirt where Liz had tossed it on the floor and he padded barefoot out to the kitchen.

It was late afternoon and Max looked outside, watching the sun lowering in the sky. Just yesterday at that time he’d been in the Park, meeting Liz again. He smiled a little at the thought, wondering at how everything had changed in twenty four hours. He ran a hand through his hair and went to grab the phone. Dialing quickly, he waited as the phone rang. After the fifth ring he started to grow impatient until a voice finally picked up.

“Hello?”

“Corrine, it’s Max.”

“Max! Good to hear from you, how is Michael? Was his trip uneventful?”

At Corrine’s words, Max felt a chill run through his body. “Michael’s not here yet Corrine. When did he leave?”

“Goodness, he left five days ago Max! He got back into town and left immediately upon receiving your message. What could have happened to him?” Corrine’s voice began to take on a hint of worry.

“I don’t know, but I’ll find him. I’ll keep in touch.”

“Please do. Max, be careful.”

Max nodded to himself as he said goodbye and disconnected the call. He placed the phone on the kitchen table and turned to stare back out at the city. He’d been so preoccupied with the last few days that he hadn’t even begun to notice the uneasy feeling in the back of his mind. Something had happened, but he didn’t know what.

He whispered to himself as he tried to tamp down the dread. “Where are you Michael?”