Nothing but skin. That’s all he could see. She was wearing clothes, of course. After all, they were in a public place. However, none of it seemed to register in Michael’s mind. The tight tank top had only ridiculously thin straps to interrupt the continuous curve from her neck across her shoulders and down her arms to her long, delicate fingers. It dipped low on her back, boldly teasing him with the view of her smooth, soft skin. The front wasn’t as cruel, but it was pulled so taut against her breasts that he needed to readjust himself on the seat.
This was his favorite way to watch Maria. From a distance, when she was oblivious to the world around her. It was the safest for him – minimal possibility of contact and he could study her movements without arousing suspicion. He didn’t have to worry about conversation, where his eyes were falling, or how it would feel to run his hands over her curves, pressing her body against his. No, from his vantage point across the darkened room there was no chance of anything like that happening. Anything that would send him home to lie hopelessly awake in his bed, thinking of her… skin.
Her hands raised above her head, moving around in circular patterns. Her eyes were closed and there was a look of such peaceful contentment on her face. That was another reason he liked to watch her here. It was if the whole world had melted away ~ all her troubles, all the people ~ and she could let it all go and just be. Michael was completely unable to take his eyes off of her, not that he wanted to. A small smile hinted at her lips while her eyelids continued to shut the world out. The lights from above sparkled around her, and all her surroundings faded from his vision. There was a slight glow around her which only added to her ethereal appearance.
Now her hands crossed behind her head and started down towards her neck. He could see her fingertips dancing lightly against the dip into her shoulder blade. Michael groaned quietly, remembering the many times his lips brushed against the sweet silkiness of that same area. Finally, her hands disappeared, only to reappear on her sides, smoothing her shirt down. Sliding past her breasts, they kept traveling until they rested on her hips, sitting above her fitted jeans.
"How long am I going to keep doing this to myself?" Michael grumbled and slammed down the rest of his soda. It had been some time since he’d watched her last, getting more and more difficult to distance himself each time. Still, when he overheard Liz and Maria making plans, he couldn’t resist the urge to stop by – inconspicuously, of course. In fact, he never left the side wall. It would be easier to make a speedy exit that way.
His daze was broken by the seemingly abrupt change in music. He looked up to see that Liz had now joined Maria on the dance floor. She had brought over a glass of water, and the two started giggling about something. They moved towards the tables in the back and Michael decided that it was time to go. Glancing over one more time, he caught himself smiling at the sight of Maria leaning over the table laughing, probably recanting one of her typically flaky stories. Zipping up his jacket, he pushed past the crowd that was making its way into the club.
Michael was almost to the end of the parking lot when he felt the rock that was pelted into the middle of his back. He angrily whipped around, fists clenched in preparation for a fight. But no one was there. He stood still, confused, until the sound of footsteps grew louder.
"I knew I couldn’t catch up with you." Maria came into view, breathing heavily. "You had a pretty good lead on me."
"So, you hit me with a rock?" He asked, trying to sound more annoyed than nervous.
"Well, I wanted you to stop. I didn’t know how else…" she paused to catch her breath.
He looked past her, and then back into her face. "But, how did you? I mean, you were pretty far away."
"Softball, five years."
"Wow," Michael nodded his head, impressed. "Remind me never to – "
"Shut up. Just shut up, okay?" The girl interrupted him, her tone bordering on fury.
Michael didn’t move. He knew he was caught.
"Are you ever going to talk to me? Or are you planning on hiding in corners and watching me for the rest of our lives?" She straightened herself and scratched the back of her head nervously.
"I don’t know what you are talking about." He was finally able to break her gaze. Staring off towards the road, he continued. "I just… just stopped in. I didn’t feel like going home, and Max and Isabel aren’t around. It was on the way. I didn’t even realize that you were there."
Maria closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head, exasperated. "Give me some credit here. I might not have some big powers from the great beyond, but I know when you’re around me." Michael looked back at her in surprise. Taking a deep breath, she nodded her head. "I always know," she admitted quietly.
"Why didn’t you…" He broke off.
"Say anything?" She shrugged her shoulders. "I figured that you had your reasons. And I guess I liked knowing that you were around. Even if you were doing it in a creepy-stalkerish kind of way." Michael looked down at the ground, and kicked a few stones around his feet. "But I’m getting tired of playing this game. I just want to know… are you planning on following me around, or will you actually talk to me – not in the context of the group?"
"Maria – I talk to you."
"No." She stated firmly. "You don’t. You make comments, you’ll refer to me – and hardly use my name, mind you – and I get these intense looks that I feel even when my back is turned. But you don’t talk to me."
"What, what do you want me to say to you?" Michael cocked his head in condescension.
"You know what? Forget it. Don’t say anything." She turned around to go back. "No, no. While I have you here, I want you to make a decision. Either decide to actually start being ‘a friend,’ or stop all this and just leave me be."
He looked at her blankly. "Okay, then. I’ll leave you be." He stared at the girl in front of him for a moment, as if to etch her image permanently into his brain. Then he started back towards the road.
"God!" Maria cried out in anguish. "Don’t you get it, space boy? I don’t *want* you to leave me be." She jogged up to him and grabbed his arm. "I’m not asking for everything. I just don’t understand why it has to be nothing."
It was when she touched him that Michael literally felt weak. There was something about her touch – whether she was clenching his arm or running her fingers through his hair, that would cause an inner trembling that almost nothing would quell. The only thing that he had found to calm it was her kisses, but that was probably because he was paying more attention to her lips, her breath and her body beneath him, and feeling himself flow into her. He concentrated on his breathing, trying to control his urge to press his lips against her ruby red ones. ‘Stone Wall.’
His silence drove a knife into her heart. "You can’t even give me that, can you?" Maria said, failing to keep the emotion of out her voice. "Ok – I get it. I’ll go now." She let go of his arm and crossed her arms tightly around her for warmth. "See you around, I guess."
"Maria."
Michael’s voice called out to her in the darkness. Maria stopped dead in her tracks and turned around. With a painful smile, she shook her head at him. "I can’t do this anymore. You don’t get to have me when you want, and ignore me the rest of the time. I’m not going to push something between us any more – but you have to respect my wishes, too."
He walked over to her and stared down into her face. "We can’t do this, you know that. It’s not…"
"Oh spare me the ‘It’s not safe’ and ‘I don’t get intense’ speech. In fact, I’ve heard enough of the ‘I’m a loner’ one, too. Get over it, Michael." She snapped. "And maybe you should ask yourself why you keep following me if it’s ‘not right.’"
"I wasn’t… oh, forget it. It’s impossible to talk to you. You just don’t get it." Michael looked up into the sky, anything to get away from her glaring eyes.
"Yeah, I forgot about that one too. You know, you really should come up with some new reasons that you can’t be with me – because these ones are getting pretty old." Maria stepped in close to him. He could smell her sweat mixed in with the jasmine oil she had put on earlier. It radiated off her and started to make his body quiver. "Tell me that you don’t like me. Tell me that you aren’t attracted to me. Tell me that you can’t stand to spend another minute around me." She poked him in the chest with every demand. "Tell me those things and you will never have to concern yourself with me again."
Michael grabbed her hand in his, knowing that he was about to step off into the abyss. Before she could protest, he entwined his fingers in her hair, crushing her against his lips. Her unexpectant mouth had been slightly open, so Michael took the liberty of sucking her bottom lip between his own. She whimpered softly, a sweet little cry of pleasure. Michael freed her momentarily before gently coaxing her mouth to open wider. As he dipped his tongue into her mouth, he caressed her fingers with his thumb.
Everything melted away as it had done before. Only this time Michael was actually with her, in her glow, feeling her breath become his. This is how he wanted it to stay – the two of them in their own world apart from everyone else. There was no one to judge them, no one to come and rip them from each other. Michael relaxed his grip on her hair and cradled her head in his palm. They were surrounded by blackness, and the only sounds he could hear were the beating of her heart and the little gasps of air between furious kisses.
His usual uneasiness subsided – ignoring the knowledge that this moment shall come to an end as they all had done before. This is all he wanted, all he could handle at this point in time. In his life, Michael had come to expect that everything could fall apart at a moment’s notice. With Maria, he tried to knock it down before he got too involved. Problem was, ever since that trip down to Marathon, he was more involved than he could have ever imagined.
Dropping her fist, Michael pressed his hand against the other side of her head. This was still safe – as long as he wasn’t actually touching her *skin,* he’d be okay. The walls he had up would stay standing – he could keep himself from being any more entwined into her life, into her. She moaned as he brushed her hair with his fingers, needing more. Breaking past the invisible barrier he had put between them, Maria slid her hand up his chest and around his neck. Michael flinched at her touch.
Feeling his reaction, Maria pulled away from him angrily. "You can’t do this to me anymore. It’s not fair. I’m not some girl you can kiss when no one is around, when *you* feel like it."
To her surprise, Michael didn’t make some snide comment or stalk off. Instead, he rested his forehead on her shoulder, placing one hand on her opposite hip. She tenderly rubbed the back of his neck, combing through his hair with her fingers. He exhaled deeply, and she didn’t miss the profound sorrow in his action. Her anger didn’t dissipate completely, but an understanding swept through the both of them. Maria was touched that he would let her see him in such a vulnerable state.
"Michael," she murmured against his temple, still caressing his hair. He grasped her hip tighter, as if she were his own personal safety blanket. Tears sprung to her eyes and she kissed him. "I’m here, Michael. I’m not going anywhere."
Once again, it had all gone so terribly wrong. Only this time Michael accepted the fact that he didn’t have all the answers – or any answers, for that matter. Thrusting her from his life had only succeeded in making him feel even more miserable and alone. He hadn’t expected his latest reaction, either. It was as if his body took over, insisting that it knew what was best. To be next to Maria. Her skin, seconds earlier almost reaching a fiery temperature, had now cooled, soothing the headache brought on by her directed anger. Not just her anger, but her decision to leave him. Without even trying, Michael had fallen back into his old routine – pushing her away as soon as she’d gotten too close.
‘Too close.’ What exactly did that mean? Could Maria ever truly get too close to him? Most of the time, Michael felt that she wasn’t close enough. His lips had covered much of her body, yet he always ached to get closer. As she described his very runaway fantasy in her own words, and he realized that she was the one who understood. So what did it mean for her to be ‘too close’? Michael repeated those words over and over in his head until they ceased to make any sense. He wondered how they ever did.
Maria curled her arm underneath Michael’s, lightly running her fingertips up and down his back. He sighed again, this time pulling her closer to him, wrapping his arm all the way around her waist. She let out a little noise as he suddenly moved, taking her by the hips and boosting her up on to the car behind them. Michael placed his hands on her knees and kissed the tip of her nose. The girl raised an eyebrow in confusion, there had never been time for such delicateness before.
Pressing his forehead against hers, Michael spoke hesitantly. "You’re not just some girl." He paused, closing his eyes. "You’re Maria."
Maria laughed in embarrassment, immediately hoping that he wouldn’t think it was directed at him. She had accepted her lot in life as "Liz’s wacky friend" – an average student who had found her own niche. But acceptance was a lot different than being content. Maria had long since given up on believing that being ‘Maria DeLuca’ was anything worthwhile. After all, it didn’t seem that way to her father.
"Yeah, well, what does that really mean, anyway?" She sniffed, looking away.
Michael leaned over and brushed his lips against her cheek. Stopping just short of her ear, he whispered, "A lot."
She snickered, and lowered her head. Shaking her head softly, Maria started to rub her eyes. "I told myself that I wasn’t going to let you get to me like this anymore." She looked up into the intense hazel eyes that were now staring down at her. "Why do you do this to me? Why can’t you just be… normal?"
Michael stepped away, sliding his hands off her knees. "I’m… You’re right. I shouldn’t be doing this." As he turned away, Maria grabbed him by the wrist.
"No, dammit. Every time I bring up anything about us, you get all distant and stoic. Not this time, buddy." She tightened her grip. "You’re not getting away so easily. And you are not getting a choice in the matter." Pulling him towards her, Maria took hold of his other hand. She could feel his body recoil from her for the second time that night. Letting him go, she leaned back on the car.
"Why do you freak out when I touch you? I can feel the intense panic that you start to…" Maria stopped short. "Wait a minute. You haven’t touched me all night."
Michael rolled his eyes. "Excuse me? Where have you been? I believe there’s been quite a bit of touching. You can’t lay that on me."
"That’s not what I mean," Maria said, trying to piece together her thoughts. "You’ve pulled away every time I’ve touched you. Your skin." She scrunched her eyebrows. "And you’ve been pretty careful not to let your hands run to places unclothed." Meeting his eyes again, she questioned him. "Why? Is it something about me? Is there something I should know about? What are you afraid of?"
"Me? I’m not afraid of anything," he scoffed. Taking a meandering visual cruise down her body, Michael added, "Especially not you. I’ve touched you before. It’s not some big scary thing."
"Do it then." She dared him.
"Oh, so you think I’ll do something just because you’re taunting me? Sorry, sweetie, it doesn’t work that way."
Maria took his hands in hers. "Show me how it works." Without breaking their gaze, she placed his hands under her shirt, above her hips.
Michael inhaled sharply, and immediately felt the rush of excitement, anxiety and anticipation surge through him. This is what he was afraid of, what he couldn’t tell her. That it would take over and he’d once again be vulnerable. It always started with one little thing. A look, a kiss… a touch. Sometimes it was the touching that affected him the most. In fact, it was the smallest things, the unexpected way her hand would brush against him in comfort that got to him more than anything else. So he distanced himself physically from her as much as he could. To keep the walls up, to keep everything out. Maria always had a way of breaking down the walls he constructed, whether she meant to or not. Right now, he felt a few more bricks tumbling to the ground.
"Oh God, Maria."
It felt as if there were sparks of electricity between her skin and his fingertips. Maria drew him towards her, their lips experiencing the same tingling. Michael crushed against her passionately, his arms holding her steady as he lay her down on the hood of the car. She mindlessly began to play with Michael’s hair while her legs snaked around his. His hand flew to her thigh, gripping it, making Maria moan into his mouth. He left her lips momentarily, marking a burning trail of kisses down towards her breasts. Maria arched up towards him, and he took the opportunity to skim his fingers against the worn denim up towards her hips. Hooking his first two fingers inside her jeans, he moved them towards the zipper.
Maria’s hands quickly flew to Michael, jerking him back up towards her lips. He found her mouth warmer than before, her tongue inviting him in. She squeezed the back of his neck gently, but forcefully, speeding up her kisses as she felt his hand work its way towards her belly button. When he unsnapped the top button, the sudden brush of air on her stomach broke Maria out of her animalistic hunger.
"Michael, Michael." She held him an inch away from her body. "Not here."
Not comprehending what she was trying to say, he scrunched his eyebrows and kissed her neck. "Is here better?"
Maria giggled, then pushed him further away. "No, I mean, not this. Not here." She caressed his face with the tips of her fingers. "I don’t want this to be here, in some cheesy parking lot. There has to be somewhere else we can go."
Nodding, he balanced himself between her legs. "Where do you want to go?"
"Um, let’s see. Well, my mom is home, with friends. So that’s kind of out."
"Hank is probably passed out somewhere, but you wouldn’t want to…" Michael caught himself mid-sentence. He couldn’t believe that he just said that. The last place he’d want to take Maria was to his trailer.
"Yes."
He shot her a confused look. "Yes, what?"
"Yes," she repeated. "Yes, I would want to go… to your house. With you."
"No…" Michael looked away. "I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m sure there is somewhere else…"
Maria sat up and buttoned her jeans. "It’s where you live. I want to be with you, where you live."
He just shook his head. "Trust me, you don’t want to be there. *I* don’t want to be there."
Reaching for his hand, Maria smiled. "All that matters to me is that I’m with you. I don’t care about anything else."
The loud thumping bass from the club broke into the silence. Sighing heavily, Michael acquiesced. "Ok…ok."
Her smile growing broader, Maria slipped off the car. "I just have to tell Liz that I’m going." She handed him the keys. "Go get the car, and meet me in the front?"
"Yeah, yeah." Michael grumbled. "You just love to take advantage of me."
"Ooooh… that’s what I’m doing." She crossed her arms. "*I’m* taking advantage of *you*."
Michael fingered the keys and smirked. "Shut up and go tell Liz. I’ll be waiting for you." He met her eyes in nervous anticipation. "Hurry up."
Feeling strangely triumphant, Maria kissed his cheek and ran off in the direction of the music.
***
"So, everything cool?" Michael asked as Maria snapped the seatbelt into place.
"Yup," Maria nodded. "It’s all good."
"Liz is cool?"
Snickering to herself, Maria answered, "Liz is cool. Suspicious, but it’s fine."
"What do you mean," his tone suddenly on edge, "’Suspicious’?"
"You know Liz and her…" She paused. "I guess you don’t know her looks. Well, when I told her that I had to go, she gave me a disbelieving ‘Uh-huh,’ and her ‘I won’t ask now, but you better tell me what’s going on tomorrow’ look."
"Uh," Michael said, refusing to look at the girl next to him. "What are you going to tell her?"
Maria turned her body to face him and gave him her most mischievously innocent voice. "Well, I don’t know that yet, do I?"
Part 2
The trailer park was ominously quiet as they pulled in, the wheels crunching over the haphazard piles of stone. Michael got out of the car and waited for Maria – if Hank was home, then he was probably passed out by now – but he didn’t want to take any chances. She walked around the car to meet him, and they silently walked up to the front door. There were no lights on inside, but Michael couldn’t relax quite yet. He stepped up on the small stair, holding his hand out behind him for her to hold. Opening the door, he paused, taking it all in.
"He’s not here."
Michael led her through the trailer, towards his room in the back. Maria kept her eyes hard on his back. When they got to his room, he turned on the light and let her go in first. Dropping her hand, he whispered, "I’ll be right back."
The blonde nodded, then took a long look around his room, surveying the situation. She knew that it was a rare opportunity to be able to take a small peek into the world of Michael Guerin. Something on the opposite wall immediately demanded her attention. She walked towards it, completely mesmerized. The confident strokes of colour, careful detail and poetic symmetry told of a hidden side of the person who lived in this room. Her fingers caressed the textured layers of paint, drawing her in deeper. Maria never heard the door click or his soft footsteps across the carpet. So, when Michael’s hands slid down her arms, pulling her into his chest, she nearly jumped out of her skin.
"Michael…" she said, her voice trembling. "This is… incredible. I never ~"
"Thought that I could do something like that?" He interrupted.
"No," she shook her head. "I’ve never really had such a reaction to a piece of art before." Maria leaned back into him. "You *are* incredibly talented. Thank you."
"For what?"
"For letting me see this. For sharing it. Thank you."
Michael smiled into her hair. He brought his arms around her, hugging her to him tightly. Maria brought her hands up to his, holding on to his forearms. She was getting better at taking the moments as they came, and Michael was getting better at letting them come. He squeezed her, then let his hands fall to her sides again.
Sliding his hand underneath her shirt, Michael flattened it against her stomach. Her body stiffened for a second, then melted into him. Dipping his pinky finger behind the button of her jeans, he bent down and kissed the sensitive spot where her neck glided into her shoulder. That same spot where her fingers had danced earlier. Maria mewed softly, reaching back to grab his other hand. Michael took her hand in his protectively, firmly lacing his fingers with hers.
While his thumb lightly stroked the satiny skin under her breast, Maria craned her neck further, giving Michael more area to cover with his lips. He kissed the spot behind her left earlobe, taking his time as he moved down to the base of her neck and over to her shoulder, nudging the strap off. She reached her hand behind her, grabbing a handful of his hair gently. Michael groaned into her ear, then slid his hand to her other breast, cupping it firmly. Feeling her knees go weak, Maria fell back into him for support.
Before letting go of her hand, Michael placed it towards the back of his thigh. She clenched his jeans tightly, unsure of her capability to stay standing much longer. His fingertips glided over the length of her arm, then down the front of her top, ending their sensual journey at her hips. Abandoning her breast momentarily, her other hand found her opposite hip. Michael brought his hands up to her ribs, the thin cotton folding over his hands.
"Just tell me if you want me to stop."
Maria shook her head, unable to speak. Michael let his hands continue their upward climb, waiting for some kind of reaction from her. There was none. "Are you sure you’re okay?" He asked, worried that he had gotten her into something that she didn’t want.
Maria barely nodded, whispering, "Don’t stop."
Michael kissed her cheek and brushed his lips against her ear once again. "I need you to let go for a second." As if on cue, her fingers immediately released their grasp. He gently tugged the tank over her head. She gasped as the final bits of fabric passed over her fingers. Tossing the top to the floor, Michael quickly returned to her. Sliding his hands over her breasts, he held her to him. Unable to wait any longer, Maria spun around and jerked his head down to kiss her.
Their bodies, tired of the stop-and-go sexual torment, ignored any semblance of rational thought and sought out what they needed. Maria swung her arms around his neck, bearing down with her forearms. His fingers freely roamed her now-naked back, faster and faster, leaving no part of her untouched. Through his t-shirt, Michael could feel her hardened nipples against his chest, which only hungered him more. He kissed her voraciously, his mouth covering hers in a fight for dominance. She let her arms drop, then raked her nails down his back suddenly, causing him to moan in unexpected pleasure.
Maria stepped back to catch her breath, but her foot slipped out from under her, causing her to land on the bed with a resounding ‘oomph.’ Michael looked at her, confused and a bit stunned, then immediately dropped down between her knees. Without missing a beat, she ripped his shirt over his head, then… stopped.
Taking his face in her hands, Maria stared at him solemnly, gently tracing over his cheekbones with her thumbs. Michael didn’t dare move – not one single muscle as her eyes studied his entire being. Then, she smiled – like a ray of sunshine finally breaking free of the clouds. "Whatever will I do with you, Michael Guerin?"
Bringing his lips to hers again, Maria kissed him more delicately than ever before. He returned the gesture, quickly breaking apart and pressing his forehead against hers. His hands slid up her thighs as he lowered his head to her collarbone. Kissing an imaginary path down her chest, Michael heard the girl whimper when he took the small reddened bud of her nipple into his mouth. She squeezed her legs together, locking him between them, close to her.
"Michael," she murmured, "Oh, Michael."
Raising one hand to her breast, Michael cupped it gently. His thumb traced small circles over the hardened nipple as his lips moved down towards the other. Maria dug her nails into his shoulders. His tongue teased her, first licking, then sucking harder. A small cry escaped from Maria’s lips, but this time Michael didn’t stop anything. He circled one nipple with his tongue, and rolled the other between his thumb and forefinger.
He gently guided her back onto the blankets, kissing and nibbling his way down towards her jeans. Unbuttoning the top, Michael paused for a moment to see if she would protest. When he felt her fingers running through his hair encouragingly, he smiled against her stomach and pulled the zipper down. The jeans that had once seemed too tight now slipped easily off her body.
Once again, he positioned himself between her knees, enraptured by the sight of Maria lying there so surprisingly unselfconscious. Raising himself, he pressed tentative kisses across her inner thigh. Maria gasped at the sensation of his cool lips against her burning skin. Gently making his way up towards her hip, he let his tongue trail against the edge of her panties. Maria whimpered at the agonizing pleasure, her lower body beginning to thrash lightly against the bed.
Grasping her hips to keep her steady, Michael kissed a steady line across her stomach, every so often slipping his finger underneath the blue satin. As long as he stayed in the moment, his mind wouldn’t wander and obsess about the inevitable end to their epic. Michael didn’t quite know what to do next, his intuition was beginning to fail him. He feared going too fast too soon, and at the same time he didn’t want to waste the rest of the night pondering the ramifications of every single touch.
Finally, he slithered up her body slowly, without removing another stitch of her clothing. Truthfully, it really didn’t matter how much she was wearing – Maria would have been able to feel his hot breath against her skin even if she was ten blankets under. As he crawled between her legs, Michael ventured one quick brush of his lips against her. Maria cried out, locking her legs around him, almost begging him to recreate that intense, albeit brief, explosion. But he ignored her signals – he missed her too much.
Her hands reached down for him as he returned to her embrace. His body had cooled down considerably, so she held him tighter, trying to warm his with her own. Prolonging his torture, Michael didn’t meet her lips right away. Instead he buried his face into her neck, where the sweet scent of jasmine still lingered. She caressed his face, then let her fingertips trail down his arm, meeting his hand that was covering her breast. Humming in contentment, Maria edged herself down and found the button of his jeans with her right hand. With little problem she unsnapped it, and slipped her hand down against the skin of his hip. Michael bit her neck softly as he felt her thumb run against the bone, reaching lower.
Kissing his shoulder, Maria let her other hand fall down his back so that it could loosen his jeans. Her feet curled around his calves in an attempt to assist her hands in pushing the denim off his body. Michael reached down for her hands and brought them up over her head, holding them in place. He pulled himself up, finally allowing himself the delicious pleasure of tasting her lips.
Finding her arms temporarily restrained, Maria wrapped her legs around his hips, arching up to him. Their kisses mimicked the rhythm of their lower bodies, which by instinct had begun to fluidly grind together. Maria’s knees were clenched tightly against his hips, and with every thrust they pulled the boxers lower. The flannel gave even less resistance than her satin panties. As Michael’s lips headed back to her neck, Maria became acutely aware of the sensation of skin touching skin.
"Michael," she said, slightly alarmed.
"Mmmmm…" he murmured against her ear.
"No, Michael, wait."
Michael froze, then lurched up and held her face, looking to see what he did wrong. "What happened? Are you okay?"
"More than okay," Maria smiled. "I was, I was just thinking…" she blushed. "Well, I just wanted to be sure that you had something… in case, uh, this goes any further."
Relief washed over Michael’s face and he nodded. He moved over to open the drawer of his night table, but it was just beyond his reach. His jeans were twisted around his ankles, doing nothing to stabilize his balance. Michael rolled off the bed and landed on the floor with a loud thump. Maria sat up immediately and began to giggle uncontrollably at the sight of him, half-naked, angry and embarrassed on the floor.
"I’m so glad this amuses you."
Maria clamped her jaw shut in order to stop the laughter but it only resulted in a snort. "I’m sorry," she squeaked, turning red. "You just, I mean, oh I don’t know what I mean." She giggled. "It was… perfect."
"Perfect?" He asked, annoyed.
Lying back down, she spoke to the ceiling. "Yeah, I needed that. Things were getting a little…" Maria rolled on her side and smiled at him. "…intense."
"Oh."
"Come here."
"I don’t know if I want to," he huffed, his pride still wounded.
"Don’t be silly, come up here." Maria slid her hand up and down the bed next to her. "I’m lonely," she pouted.
Michael ran his eyes up her body, over her hip, down her arms to her fingers, back around her breasts, pausing at her lips before settling on her eyes. Her sparkling green eyes. Eyes that he could get lost in for days. Ignoring his pride, he kicked off his jeans and scrambled into bed next to her.
"Intense, you said?" Michael teased, his hand retracing the route in reverse. "I thought you *liked* intense." He rested his hand on her stomach, then moved down to meet her eyes directly. Maria bit her lip, nervously anticipating his next move. He watched her expression intently as he slid his hand beneath the flimsy satin guarding her. Her eyes widened and he heard her catch her breath. A small smile crawled across his lips.
His fingertips buried themselves beneath her silky blond curls. Maria inhaled sharply, but never left Michael’s eyes. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, in time with his gentle motions. It was as if every blood cell was rushing around her body at breakneck speed. Michael could feel the emotion, the physical pleasure building in her – with no knowledge of what it was heading towards. She subconsciously moved herself closer to his hand, lifting up off the bed. Each little whimper encouraged him – his fingers worked faster, bringing her to the edge. He searched her eyes, waiting to see where she was going, if he could take her there, but Maria only stared back, her lips slightly parted.
Michael leaned in and laid his lips on hers. That was all she needed. Maria cried out against his mouth, her whole body shuddering in sweet release as she rolled into him. Michael held her close, kissing her temple as she had done earlier. She threw a leg over his hip and pulled back, taking his face in her hands.
"That was…" Maria stopped to catch her breath.
"Intense?"
She smiled at his hopeful tone. "Intense," she nodded.
Kissing her fiercely, Michael grasped her thigh, sliding his hand down toward her knee. Her fingers roamed through his hair, quickly moving to his middle. Maria fingered the elastic waistband of his boxers, then pushed it past his hips. Michael groaned into her ear, rolling her over onto her back. He maneuvered himself between her legs, and bit down lightly on her bottom lip.
Maria placed her hands inside his boxers, her fingers gently tickling his highly-charged skin. As he nibbled down her neck, she slid the flannel down lower until she could feel him kicking it off his feet. Michael moved over, his hand returning to the dampened silk. Concentrating on the feel of her skin, he pulled her panties over her knees, smiling as she brought her feet up to aid him.
"Michael?" She asked the darkness.
"Yes?" He came up and propped himself on one elbow.
"Don’t fall off the bed this time."
"What?" He snapped back, then realized what she was saying. "Oh. That shouldn’t be a problem."
He reached behind him to open the drawer which was much closer than before. She held his waist firmly, not even letting go when he rolled back and smiled at her.
Maria suddenly scrunched her eyebrows and ran her finger down his chest. "Um, question. Is there something I should know?"
Michael looked at her strangely. "Know?"
"Well," she paused, "I guess I’m a little curious as to why *you* have condoms so readily available. I just… well, um…"
"About month ago."
"What?"
"I bought them about a month ago. Just in case." He glanced away from her.
"Just in case?" Maria snorted. "Just in case you enticed some willing young girl into your bed?"
"No," he whispered. "You."
Maria blushed, smiling in spite of herself. She caressed his face with her fingertips, her grin growing wider when he looked back at her. Rubbing her nose gently against his, she leaned in and kissed him - his lips, his cheek, the spot between his eyebrows. Michael opened the package, and slipped the condom on, jumping when he felt her hand stroke him.
"Oh God, oh God, Maria."
Maria leaned in and licked his lips, slipping her tongue past his teeth. Her fingers ran the length of him, her thumb caressing over the top. He inched over between her legs again, and she could feel him brushing against her. She wrapped her legs around his, her hands coaxing his hips towards her. Michael pushed himself up, and looked down at her intently.
"Are you sure?" He asked her very seriously.
"Completely sure."
"We don’t have to do this, I don’t want you to feel like we have to."
"I don’t feel like I have to do anything. I’m here because I want to. We’re at this point because I want to. Do you want to?"
He smiled sheepishly. "Oh, I want to. Trust me."
She chuckled softly. "Are you sure you’re not confused? I would hate to think that I was taking advantage of you."
Without a snappy comeback, Michael pressed his lips to hers to quiet her. Maria pulled him back down, feeling him start to enter her. She squeezed her eyes shut, her entire body clenching up. Michael watched her face contort and he winced at her pain.
"I can stop…"
"No," Maria cut him off. "Just take it… slowly."
"Maria."
"Michael," she opened her eyes and tried to smile. "I’m okay. Really."
Michael still didn’t move. Everything about her begged him to stop, although her words and her eyes told her to keep going. "Do you trust me?"
Maria smiled and cocked her head. "Implicitly."
Michael kept his eyes fixed on Maria’s as he slowly slid in, her body relaxing as she grew accustomed to him. His arms gave out, but he caught himself before he collapsed on top of her. At first, he didn’t do anything, but buried his face in her shoulder. He was too afraid to move, waiting for the moment where she started to yell at him, or for the alarm to go off and drag him from this precious dream. But neither of those happened, Maria just traced lines up his back, one hand nestling in his hair.
"I’m fine, Michael. Really." She whispered to him.
With her sweet comforting tone, he calmed down. His body once again took over where his mind failed, rocking their hips together in tandem. Once he settled into an easy rhythm, Michael finally met her eyes again. She kissed him hard, not thinking of the pain, not thinking of where she was, just reveling in the way that her whole body tingled at the realization that she was in Michael Guerin’s bed, in his arms, making love to him.
"Maria," he moaned, temporarily breaking lip contact. Michael now understood where she was before, speeding towards that cliff that fell off into Nevernever land. His hands clamped down on her hips as he thrusted faster and faster into her. Colours – amazing, vibrant colours swirled in his head, mixing in with the strong scent of Maria. Michael had always thought that she smelled good, he had no idea that she could smell this incredible. "Oh, Maria."
He said her name like it was holy and sinful at the same time. Any question of confusion or doubt went out the window – Maria could feel it calling out to her from every pore of his body: she was the only person that he wanted, she was the only one that he needed. Helping him attain the same intense explosion that she had felt earlier, Maria raked her nails down his back to his bottom, and grasped it tightly.
Michael squeezed Maria to him, his body trembling and falling upon her. Breathing heavily, he kissed her collarbone, then laid his cheek against her breast.
"Intense?" she asked.
"Intense," he laughed into her chest, his hand gently stroking her side.
Tracing circles on his back with her fingers, Maria inhaled the musky scent of Michael’s sweat mixed in with the overpowering smell of their lovemaking. She kissed his forehead, relaxing as she listened to their synchronous breathing – all the surrounding noises from the trailer park seemed to disappear.
"Sometimes I wish we could just lay here for days…" Maria thought aloud, not really meaning the words to come out.
"Maria."
Looking towards the window, she tensed at his tone. "Please don’t say it, not now. I know, I know it’s never going to happen." She started to play with his hair again. "Just promise me something?"
"I’ll see what I can do."
"Don’t make me wake up alone. Just… just don’t up and leave me." Her voice wavered, and Michael understood that she was talking about more than just tonight.
"I won’t. I couldn’t even if I wanted to." His breathing grew deeper, and she could tell that he was falling asleep.
Maria closed her eyes and wrapped herself around Michael protectively. He sighed, then pulled the blanket over both of them. Just as she was drifting off to sleep, Michael hugged her to him and kissed her neck. He thought about the things she said to him in the wood shop, and when she told him that she kept the napkin holder. He thought about how scared she looked in the cave that night, and how she kissed him at the convention – right there, in front of everyone, not concerned about what anyone would think. Then, he thought about how she had just given herself to him without expectation, without trying to make him into something he wasn’t.
Michael looked up and saw the drunken look of contentment on her sleeping face. A car door slammed in the distance, immediately sobering him up. It wasn’t Hank, but there was a good chance that he’d be home soon. Without waking her, Michael slid out of bed and double bolted the locks on his door. At this late hour, Hank would barely be conscious enough to make it to the couch, much less to Michael’s room.
Taking a moment to watch the moonlight illuminate Maria deep in slumber, Michael placed another blanket on top of her. He crawled in, this time holding her head against his chest, his arms cradling her warm body to him. Maria mumbled something incoherent and snuggled up closer to him. Stroking her hair, Michael kissed her head and willed himself to stay awake. It was going to be a long night, but it would be the first sleepless night that he wouldn’t mind.
************************************************************************************
From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea
The Cure
Every time we do
this
I fall for her
Wave after wave after wave
It's all for her
"I know this can't be wrong" I say
(And I'll lie to keep her happy)
"As long as I know that you know
That today I belong right here with you"
Right here with you...
And so we watch
the sun come up
From the edge of the deep green sea
And she listens like her head's on fire
Like she wants to believe in me
So I try
"Put your hands in the sky
Surrender
Remember
We'll be here forever
And we'll never say goodbye... "
I've never been
so
Colourfully-see-through-head before
I've never been so
Wonderfully-me-you-want-some-more
And all I want is to keep it like this
You and me alone
A secret kiss
And don't go home
Don't go away
Don't let this end
Please stay...
Not just for today...
"Never never
never never never let me go" she says
"Hold me like this for a hundred thousand million days"
But suddenly she slows
And looks down at my breaking face
"Why do you cry?
What did I say?"
"But it's just rain" I smile
Brushing my tears away...
I wish I could
just stop
I know another moment will break my heart
Too many tears
Too many times
Too many years I've cried over you
How much more can
we use it up?
Drink it dry?
Take this drug?
Looking for something forever gone
But something we will always want...
"Why why why
are you letting me go" she says
"I feel you pulling back
I feel you changing shape"
And just as I'm breaking free
She hangs herself in front of me
Slips her dress like a flag to the floor
And hands in the sky
Surrenders it all...
I wish I could
just stop
I know another moment will break my heart
Too many tears
Too many times
Too many years I've cried for you
It's always the
same
Wake up in the rain
Head in pain
Hung in shame
A different name
Same old game
Love in vain
And miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
Away from home again...