Myra Breckinridge, 94 minutes, Color, 1970, Twentieth Century Fox. Directed by Michael Sarne. Starring Mae West as Leticia Van Allen, John Huston as Buck Loner, Rex Reed as Myron, Raquel Welch as Myra Breckinridge, Roger Herron as Rusty, Farrah Fawcett as Mary Ann and John Carradine as surgeon. Schlock-meter rating: 1/2 of one star out of 10.
I had heard many times how bad Myra Breckinridge was. So much that I've wanted to see it for a long time. It popped up on Encore one night so I popped a VHS tape into my VCR. How bad is Myra Breckinridge? Hands down the worst film I have ever seen. And that includes Beast of Yucca Flats and The Creeping Terror. Myra Breckinridge is such a disaster that it ruined director Michael Sarne's career. He was forced to become a waiter to make ends meet soon after the film's release. To that I say good, he deserved that fate for piling this dreck onto the screen. There is a plus though. The film permanently stalled critic cum wannabe actor Rex Reed's career. After Myra Breckinridge, Reed appeared in only one other feature, the Moonie-produced disaster Inchon, which like Myra Breckinridge, is virtually impossible to view today.
The plot: Myron is having a sex change operation, conducted by drunken surgeon John Carradine, the only semi-bright spot in this film (but he's gone before the credits start). Turned into beautiful Myra Breckinridge (Welch) Myra goes to Hollywood to wreck havoc on the entire male race, starting with her sexist, aging former cowboy actor uncle Buck Loner (Huston) who runs a movie studio. Myra teaches acting, slaps Loner around a few times, rapes an aspiring male film star (Herron) and tries to seduce his girlfriend (a very young Farrah Fawcett). Throughout the film Myra is accompanied by her alter ego Myron (Reed) who simpers and giggles his way through scenes. At the end, it's all discovered to have been a dream Myron suffered while recovering from being hit by a car. It's as bad as it seems. Director Sarne has no concept of pacing. Several times the film's action is intercut with scenes from old movies, including Shirley Temple and Laurel and Hardy. They bear little relationship to the plot and go on for too long. Also, there are several scenes in the film that appear tacked on, with no bearing or sequence to the plot.
And then, there's Mae West. While most of Myra Breckinridge is just plain awful, the appearance of the 77-year-old former diva turns the film into a horror show. Watching this old woman with a wax face pulled so tight that it's incapable of expression purr sexual innuendos to men 50 years her junior is both revolting and embarrassing. West looks like a 55 year old woman -- whose been dead for five days. Just listening to her tell a tall, 6 foot 7 inch actor that she wants to focus on the seven inches would send an entire airplane audience reaching for the barf bags. It's disgusting, and sad to see the great West deluded and used like this.
The competition for worst scene is intense. Contenders include Welch strapping on a dildo and raping Herron; a judge smoking a marijuana joint; any scene with West, including her song; Rex Reed waking up and asking where his tits are; Welch trying to seduce Fawcett; Reed masturbating. Reed is an awful actor; Huston appears drunk through the film, Fawcett has the depth of Marcia Brady. Welch tries to be chic and self confident. She manages to attain mediocrity, which makes her one of the better actors. Notes: TV sitcom stars Jim Backus, Andy Devine and Kathleen Freeman have small roles. A very young Tom Selleck appears. He's listed in the credits as a stud. Poor Mae West embarrassed herself eight years later in Sextette, an unreleased film where the 85-year-old married a young Timothy Dalton. The pair sing a duet, Love will Keep Us Together. west died in 1980 at 87.