The work of Phil Pope?

The Night E-mail

This is the e-mail crossing the aether,
Taking the place of the phone heavy breather.
E-mails good, e-mails bad,
E-mails almost unbearably sad.
Mails from babes in Miami Beach,
Actually nerds in Luton called Keith.
Mails from geeks, mails from freaks,
Mails that clog up the system for weeks.
Pages of carefully scrambled up digits
Which can't be decoded without the new widgets.
E-mails from unsolicited vendors.
E-mails that bounce straight back to their senders.
Wrongly addressed ones from half-witted newbies,
Scantily dressed ones with pictures of  oobies.
E-mails bursting with internet questions,
More of them bursting with kinky suggestions.
Whingeing to BBC Radio 4
That the internet programmes not on any more.
E-mails spreading conspiracy theories,
Posing the stupidest technical queries.
E-mails from females, e-mails from blokes,
Many whose gender is clearly a hoax.
Pages of unfunny internet jokes.
Newsgroups created by fans of John Noakes.
Binaries, smileys and arcane notations,
TLAs, three letter abbreviations;
URL, IRC and FTP
In my humble opinion it's C-R-A-P.