Thursday, March 27, 2003 5:07 pm 

Dr. Finbar Compiles a Secret Report 


Hello again,

Sorry for this second incursion into your week. However, we probably 
won't get around to sending you an update next week, hence here we are 
now. This is also a bit longer than usual...

THE WAX LYRICAL SONG COMPETITION

Last night we went along to the Esplanade to play in Heat 15 of the 
Australian Songwriting Association's Wax Lyrical Contest. We arrived 
to find that they were charging $5 on the door - for a song 
competition???

This is the story of our evening.

We begin our story with Sam rearranging himself in a urinal. To his 
surprise and chagrin, he discovers that his zip has broken. That would 
not be much to worry about in normal circumstances, but owing to a 
previous incident which Sam is curiously silent about, his button had 
fallen off. Add to the mix the fact that he wasn't wearing a belt, and 
you start to get a feel for the situation.

Anyway, since there was nothing he could do about it, Sam sauntered 
upstairs with as much nonchalance as he could muster and played in his 
underwear. We introduced ourselves as the Dr. FunBar Trio, the crowd 
errupted, and we were immediately ejected from the hotel and the 
competition.

Well, OK, it didn't happen quite that way. Sam is clearly much more 
resourceful than this. In truth, he rigged up a temporary solution 
involving a shoelace. The solution was entirely adequate, and I doubt 
that anyone caught much more than a glimpse of his underwear for the 
entire evening. 

Two acts went through to the semi-final, and one gained direct entry to 
the final. Unfortunately, we did not fit into either category. The 
acts that got through were indeed worthy winners, and were, to be 
honest, much more professionally set up than us.

However, before we shambled off at the end of the night, the guy 
running the competition gave us our report cards! Here they are:

Judge 1

(a) Interesting tongue in cheek lyrics.
(b) Once again! Cool lyrics.

Nice jazz thing going. Maybe you should engage the audience a little 
more, even if it is relatively small as it was. But well done & good 
luck.

Judge 2

Excellent Guys! You exude that energy and originality of those classic 
indie-acts of yore like the Sugargliders/Steinbecks. Lyrically honest 
and accomplished musicianship. Obviously your connection to the 
audience was limited due to the early slot but I could envisage a solid 
rapport in the right circumstances. Keep up the enthusiasm & good luck.

Judge 3

-Cool swinging sound.
-Classic originalable.
-More audience interaction.
-Had a solid set. Knew what they were  doingg. Songs showed talent.
-Professional.

Well, it is certainly comforting to learn that we know what we are 
doing! However, these guys are obviously going to try and "talk you 
up" a bit, so these comments need to be refracted through the Prism of 
Truth. After refraction, the message looks like this:

Songs OK, Musicianship OK, Showmanship needs work. That's a fair 
assessment; certainly, none of us are raging exhibitionists in real 
life. (Well, maybe Pete is, but it's hard to see him, stuck behind the 
drumkit as he is).

FUTURE GIGS

We should be playing some more gigs soon. We've pretty much got a 
definite gig at the Vibe Bar, Smith St., Fitzroy over the Easter 
weekend, and some other things are panning out for us. We'll let you 
know of anything definite once it materialises.

3AK

Tuesday afternoon, from 12.20 to 12.50, Neil will be on 3AK on behalf 
of the Centre for Public Philosophy at Monash Uni. He'll be crocking 
on about something or other that he knows next to nothing about, 
possibly the relationship between reason and emotion. Fortunately, 
since it's on 3AK, no-one will be listening.

Well, that's all for this week, and for next week as well. In a little 
under a fortnight we will return, with news of a revamped Dr. Finbar 
website, mp3s of new songs for you to download, and possibly the latest 
installment in our Dr. Finbar competition series.

Sleep long and well,

The Dr. Finbar Trio