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Reflections
on my Time in Russia
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An
email to friends and family written after my first trip to Russia in January
2001
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| As most
of you know (especially those who were there with me) I just returned from
a missions trip to Russia. I wanted to write all of you to share some of
my reflections and testify to God's amazing love and faithfulness. Things
are still fresh in my mind and I don't want to miss the opportunity. This
trip was unlike any other I've been on. Never before have I experienced
God's presence so clearly. I had no idea what to expect going into this
trip. I knew we were going to work with orphans and maybe visit a boy's
prison and some needy families. What we would be doing with all of them
was a mystery. I was just open and excited to see what God had in store
for us. Before we even left I sensed that this trip would be different.
Part of the American team was from Seattle and we met weekly to talk about
the trip and pray. One of the main things we prayed for was unity. Jesus'
prayer in John 17 kept coming to mind during those meetings and in my own
devotional and prayer times. More on this later. Anyway, another thing that
happened before the trip was some e-mail and phone conversations with my
teamate Wes. He and I were able to be open and honest with one another and
set up accountability for the trip. God was already working and preparing
the team. When we finally got to Russia I was amazed at how well everyone clicked. Not only did the US team get along, but we enjoyed wonderful fellowship/friendship with the Missionary family and their staff of translators. The amazing thing is that God continued to grace us with a unified team throughout the trip despite growing more tired and being stretched beyond all limits spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. What a blessing! There has never been a time in my life where I experienced that kind of fellowship. Our team prayed, worshipped and shared together; sometimes planned, sometimes spontaneous. We encouraged one another, worked and ministered together...we were together. I felt like I was experiencing the early church described in Acts. If anyone had any kind of a need someone stepped in. I cannot describe how awesome that was. And I'm so sad now because I fear losing that fellowship. My spiritual walk has been so complacent and isolated here. I know we can't always have "mountain top" experiences, but when we are in the valleys of life it is important to not only keep focused on God, but to let God use others to walk with us and not isolate ourselves, like I usually do. There are two words that are imprinted on my heart because of this trip. Love and faithfulness. As most of you know my mom passed away Nov 13th from a three month battle with breast cancer. I prayed, fasted, prayed and prayed some more pleading God's mercy for her healing. It was very discouraging to see her die despite that. I had also been discouraged with other things in my life like watching kids in the youth group I work with make bad decisions. Work, although steady and challenging was becoming a grind (it still kind of is). There are other things too, but overall I had been very discouraged. I wondered if God really wanted to answer my prayers. I wondered if He cared about my dreams. I wondered if He had any plan for me and if He cared to use me. I even wondered if He loved me. Now, as the trip went along I still was discouraged. While others were being used for leading worship, sharing their testimonies, even leading someone to Christ, all I was doing was joining in on the prayers, hauling bags of flour, rice, macaroni, and potatoes around, and playing with the orphans. I felt like anyone could do that and I asked God why He really wanted me to join His work on this trip. Well, there were a lot of different things that God did after that point. I will share some, but I am still processing a lot of them. There was one day where we visited a baby orphanage. Earlier in the day, the guys on the team went to a boy's prison to bring some gifts and put on a little presentation of worship, a skit, sharing of testimonies and an invitation for prayer and a relationship with Christ. [A side note: the trip out to the prison was amazing! We had no idea what we were going to do, but God started puting it together and it turned out great. It was a tough crowd, but it seemed like we had been working together for a long time. God is so cool that way.] Anyway, I didn't really get a chance to do much at the prison. I helped sing, but I didn't get to share my testimony or play guitar, and I couldn't think of anything to say to the boys afterwards. Later, when we met up with the team and arrived at the orphanage, we discovered that we weren't going to get to hold the babies and pray for them like originally planned. Instead we decided to sing some songs, pray, and a few people shared their testimonies. Again, I didn't get to do much here except join in the prayer. On the bus ride back, feeling useless and starting to get sick, I cried out to God. Well, not more than a few minutes after that, one of the russian staff members, named Luda, asked if she could pray for me. Friends, I tried unsuccessfully to hold back the tears. As she started praying for me (in Russian by the way- I had no idea what she said!) I heard the still small voice of God say "David, I love you." I was blown away and could only cry "thank you Jesus, thank you" He didn't have to answer me, but He did. God loves us. If you doubt that, cry out to Him. He is faithful. For the remainder of the trip Luda and her son and daughter were God's loving hand extended to me. I will always remember them fondly for their smiles, and love. When talking to Luda later I found out that God had placed me on her heart. She felt that people were praying that I would feel loved and encouraged and God wanted her to pray for and encourage me. It meant so much to see and know that God answers prayers too. Oh, speaking of answered prayers, there were four female workers at that baby orphanage that started talking to some of our team after we sang and shared. Most of us had gone back to the bus at that point and we decided to pray for those ladies. Well, less than a minute after we finished, one of the team members inside ran into the bus looking for bibles to give away. Those four ladies had just accepted Jesus! Now I know that God knew those ladies would commit to Him that day, but the fact that He allowed our team to be involved in that through the prayers in the bus and leading up to the trip shows how cool He is and that He does want to use us. That was another answer to my question for Him. He didn't need me there, He didn't need anyone from the team, but He choose to let us be involved. In what way to be involved largely depends on the gifts He gives us and our willingness to be used and our stewardship of those gifts. Wow, there are so many thoughts coming to mind now, but I will have to share most of them later. There was one other thing I wanted to talk about in this letter...the kids. We had the opportunity to visit several orphanages. Our "door in" was to bring food for them. Once we did that, they allowed us to share with them. This was one of the biggest blessings of the trip. Essentially, we were allowed access into primarily secular institutions to be able to share the hope of God in Christ Jesus to these kids and staff who are so starved for it. We got to share, to sing, to put on puppet shows, to hold them. We got to be Jesus' hands to them. What an honor. Pray for these children. Their stories are heartbreaking. Many accepted Jesus, but there was a sense that a lot of them did it because there friends did and that they didn't know what they were doing. The good news is that we showed them that they have a Father in heaven who loves them and the Way to being in relationship with Him is Jesus. I don't know what seeds we planted or what we watered...that is God's work. But being faithful to His call on our lives for these two weeks was the important thing. It will be neat to see what God has in store for all those kids. The last few days of the trip, some of the orphans came to Moscow with us. We stayed with them in the Hotel and took them to a Dolphin show, the Circus, the Ballet, and to pizza. I had two boys named Losha and Antone in my room. I didn't know how I would make it at first. I was so tired and sick and I couldn't speak their language. What would we do when we were at the Hotel? The first night, Losha was smoking in the bathroom! I was struggling. But you know what? It all worked out ok. First of all (Praise the Lord!) Losha didn't smoke in our room anymore...he went outside or to the public restrooms! All I really needed to do for them was to help them enjoy their time (it was a rare treat for them), be a good example, and let them know that they are loved. I made sure to tell them I loved them and that I would be praying for them when we said goodbye. Antone gave me a hug after that that broke my heart. I wish I could stay there with them and tell them that everyday, to be the steady presence that I am with my nephews and nieces. I'll just have to leave it in God's hands. Well, there are volumes more to say, but my hands and heart grow weary. Thanks to each one of you for your faithful friendship, prayers, and support for this trip and throughout the years. Please pray for my adjustment to life back in the states. I have been depressed since we left and you can probably imagine that it isn't a lot of fun. May each of you come to know God in a fresh new way today. God bless you. By His Grace, Dave |
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