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December
2002
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12/29/02 Well, I just returned from the church service in Wenatchee. Thanks to everyone who prayed for me concerning my talk this morning. The Lord is awesome. He calmed my nerves and helped me gather my thoughts so that I was able to say everything I wanted to say and testify to His on-going work in my life. God is so faithful. It was such a blessing to talk to people in the church afterwards; especially older ladies who have watched me grow up. It means so much to me to know that they will be supporting me in prayer. I was also blessed to hear a few of them share about my mother and how she had prayed and hoped that I would someday be able to have this kind of ministry opportunity. It is always nice to know that so many people still think about my mom. The sermon today was excellent. The subject was envy and there were many good points. Pastor Jerry said one thing at the close of the message that really made me think. He said that he often prays for contentment in any circumstance; that he will be happy with whatever happens to him. He went on to say that in those times he thinks about the words of John the Baptist: "I must decrease, so that He (God) may increase." Pastor Jerry mentioned how he will say, 'Lord I want more of You' and then the Lord will remind him that he needs to remove some of the things in his life, so that God could fill those areas with more of Him. God is willing, but we need to turn away from our selfishness and turn to Him. Envy is just one of those things that needs to be put aside, so that we can receive more of what God has for us. (I Peter 2:1) 12/27/02 I was thinking the other day that I am a person who has this incredible fear of missing out on things. The thing is, in my worrying and planning over what things I should be doing, I end up missing out on a whole lot. It's quite sad and humorous at the same time. The other part of it is that I often get my priorities messed up over what is really important. For example, I will end up watching a big sporting event so that I can say I saw the big plays when they happened, but I forfeit meaningful time reading God's Word or sharing a meal or conversation with a loved one. In the end, it is the meaningful time spent with others that I really remember, not the big plays of a sporting event or some funny line on a particular sitcom. And when I do remember the event, it is usually because I was sharing the moment with someone I cared about. So, I'm throwing up a few more prayers these days for God to change my thinking so that I may start to understand what is really important and what really constitutes TRUE life; that Christ, not myself, is at the center of fulfillment. 12/26/02 A belated Merry Christmas to everyone! I'm sorry that I haven't written anything for a while. I usually make edits to this page at work during my lunch break, but lately the web-editor I use on geocities hasn't been loading. I thought that it might have had something to do with a change in network security here at work, but apparently it was just a geocities thing. I'm really not sure what to write about. I suppose that a lot of things have happened, though it feels like I am in this perpetual state of waiting for the next phase in my life. The anticipation of moving to Russia in a few weeks kind of puts a cramp in my current productivity. I struggle a lot with living in the NOW-HERE (Brennan Manning says) and walking in the fullness of life I have in Christ. The 19th was the first day that Olya's church could ask about my invitation. It didn't come. The government office there told them to call back in a week. So, yesterday they called them again and it still wasn't ready. They said to call back on the 30th. It sounds like it might actually be ready then. Of course, things don't get any easier because the office over there doesn't have the capabilities to 'telex' my invitation to the Russian Consulate in Seattle. (I have no idea how a telex is different from a fax, but it is.) So, they will have to mail the original to me directly and it won't arrive until FOUR days later! Ugh. The lesson in patience continues. Please pray that the invitation arrives swiftly and safely once it's ready. This Sunday I'm traveling to Wenatchee to speak at the Wenatchee First Assembly for a few minutes about this ministry opportunity. I am very nervous about it. I have no idea what to say. I don't even have my visa yet, but I am talking about how I will go and be a part of this ministry. How much do I share? How much background do I give? How do I make it interesting for the listeners? I need your prayers for this. I need God's help, big time. Yesterday was OK. Since our family Christmas celebration was this past Sunday, I spent Christmas eve and day with the Brewer family. It was nice to be around a loving group of people, but Christmas morning was a lot harder than I anticipated. I was fighting off tears as we unwrapped presents in the morning before breakfast. I had to go into my room afterwards to cry for a while because it was just too much. I'm not sure why I was so emotional. I guess it was just weird being away from my family on Christmas day for the very first time. It also continues to be hard not having Mom around during holidays. I miss her presence. Anyway, I am thankful for the family I have in Christ and never feeling completely alone because I have Him. He is my Prince of Peace. 12/5/02 They accepted the application for the invitation! Praise God! There is even a possibility that the invitation could be available in two weeks. The timing all depends on how long it takes to check my profile against their databases. Awesome! I am so excited to get to this point and I am full of thanks to God for allowing it to happen. Please continue praying that the invitation would arrive in a timely manner without problems. In other news, today I visited a dentist for the first time in over 3 years. With my past dental history of being the poster boy for kids with cavities, I was expecting to see the dental assistant shriek in horror at the horrible condition of my teeth. Then I thought I would see the dentist pass out in shock for all the money he would be making off of the corrective work. Instead, God was extremely merciful to me; I had ZERO cavities! This is also a huge praise report. I didn't deserve those results, but I am incredibly grateful. Now I feel inspired to start flossing regularly. I'll leave you with this quote that I heard from a comedian a few years ago. His name is Mitch Hedberg: "People tell me: 'You don't know how hard it is to quit smoking man.' I say: 'Sure I do. It's as hard as it is to START flossing.' " 12/4/02 Well, while we sleep tonight Arina from Olya's church will attempt to turn in the application for my visa invitation. Thanks to all who have been praying about it. I hope that I will be making a trip down to the Russian Consulate in a month (or less if God wants to work a miracle) to turn in my paperwork for the actual visa. Here is a big praise report: Yesterday afternoon I received an email from an American missionary in Olya's church who is marrying another missionary there at the end of this month. He asked me if I would be interested in taking over his apartment since he will be moving in to his wife-to-be's place. The rent is slightly high for Vladimir, Russia, but it is only a 10 minute walk to the church and a 10-15 minute bus ride to Olya's. It is a two-bedroom place that comes furnished. This guy has lived there for the last 4 years and has enjoyed it, so that is another bonus. The other cool thing is that it will be a 6 month lease. So, if Olya and I decide that we would like to start our married life together in a new place, I won't have to wiggle out of another lease. Instead, I could move in to a new place a month before we marry and get it ready for when Olya moves in the next month. Pretty cool. We have been praying about this for a while, so it was so exciting to hear about the opportunity yesterday. The one drawback is that it won't be easy for me to live alone. Please pray that God would prepare me for it and provide some strong accountability over there. God is good! 12/3/02 I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. My was interesting. In some ways, it was a lot of fun. My nephews, my brother, and I went to my old elementary school in the morning to play some basketball and soccer. Besides getting whacked in the face with a basketball, it was great. The rest of the day was just weird. In some ways I was overwhelmed with all of the people around. I was so thankful to se everybody, but there were so many that it was somewhat chaotic. There were 6 people cooking in the kitchen at one point. Crazy. Kids were running around (indoors and outside) laughing and yelling. Some adults watched football, others just hung out and talked. Honestly, it was pretty typical of a normal family gathering. I usually wind up playing with the kids. This past Thursday was a bit different though. I was pretty down emotionally. There may have been a few reasons for it, but the one thing that I did realize was that I missed my mom tremendously. Two years ago, Thanksgiving was a week and a half after my mom died. At that time I think we were all pretty numb emotionally. Last year, I honestly don't remember a thing about it. I don't remember any emotions. This year though, I definitely FELT that mom wasn't there. Even now tears form thinking about it. On Friday, my dad and I went to the cemetery to place flowers at mom's grave. It was hard. I cried when we got back to the house. My dad summed up my feelings very well: "You would think that it would get easier over time, but it hasn't. In some ways it's harder." My heart is glad that mom is with the Lord, continually praising Him. She is in a far better place. Still, I miss her terribly because I enjoyed being around her so much. I am so thankful that God gave me a mother that loved me so much and that I miss so much. I don't have time to write much more now, but I hope to write a bit about a book I finished reading this week. It is called "Abba's Child" and it was written by Brennan Manning, my favorite author. I need to read it again more carefully, but one of the dominant themes is the importance of living life with the understanding that we are truly loved by God, not in spite of our sins, but with them. Anyway, I hope to share some of my thoughts about it later. One other thing. It sounds like the church will try to apply for my visa invitation this Thursday. Please keep praying about it. Apparently, the government office where they apply said that they didn't need the document from a different office certified that the purpose was ministry and not work. That is very encouraging. Things can change though, so I am praying that this will still be the case this week. I am doing better with discouragement now because God has reminded me that He is completely in control and that he has ordained this delay out of His love for me. Praise God for His faithfulness and amazing love! I also thank Him for His patience with me. |