| CARTOONS! |
| That's right boys and girls! Cartoons! And who knows Cartoons better than the wacky, delicious Dr. Dave?! No one but Fuzzy the Bear, that's who! And Fuzzy works for another website...stupid Fuzzy...grr... So, sit back and enjoy these cartoon recommendations and some brief commentaries! |
| 1. Super Ted-Kudos to any of you that actually remember Super Ted. For the millions of you that are saying "huh?" right now...your answer is thus:Super Ted was a cute little teddy bear that was discarded and thrown away by the teddy bear making factory because he was "flawed". Well, a spotty man from outer space found this little bear and brought him back to life with magical cosmic dust. Then the spotty man took the Teddy to Mother Nature who makes Ted into Super Ted. Super Ted then fights zany villians such as Texas Pete. I know, this sounds stupid, but it's British. To them, Teddy Bears fighting Texans is just as common as dim-witted presidents. |
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| Ok. I'll be the first one to admit it. He-Man is not exactly the poster boy for heterosexuality. I mean here's a guy who runs around in tights only telling his secrets to a few and keeps the whole thing away from his girlfriend. It's hard for He-Man to be sure, the hottest girl in the universe is his sister and incest is frowned upon even in Eternia. However, he isn't all tragedy. He gets to run around in nothing but fuzzy underwear and no one goes "Ewww..." like when I do it. So being Master of the Universe has its perks, I guess. |
| The Flintstones are another of those shows that made every other cartoon possible. Without their silly prehistoric antics, we would never have the Simpsons and other better cartoons. I'm not really a huge Flintstones fan. I always thought Betty was hot. Wilma was too butch. Fred looked butch too...actually it's sad because do you remember the Flinstones live-action movie? In that Roise O'Donell looked more like Fred than John Goodman. Then we found out Rosie was gay. Ha ha ha! Fags! lol!!!! |
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| Finally, Garfield. This cat is my idol. Yes, a cat is my idol. What did you expect? His utter disregard of health trends has given me the faith I need to keep participating in my detrimental lifestyle. Garfield is a true badass. Some people like James Dean or Marlon Brando, but all they did was smoke and ride bikes and other gay garbage. Garfield ate all he wanted, slept all he wanted, kicked dog ass, and sent annoying people to Timbucto or somewhere really far away. For that, I name Garfield the most important person in my life. |
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| The Simpsons, quite possibly America's favorite TV show. It is, however, everyone's favorite thing to talk about. Yes, I've wasted many a class period reminiscing about Simpsons episodes and their many wild escapades. Do you remember that time Homer joined the circus and ate more peanuts than an elephant and then Homer had to go to Doctor Hibbert and get cured because he had been sneezing peanut butter? Or how about that time Bart fell in love with the preacher's girl and then he fell in glue and insanity ensued? Yes, great times. Many people say the Simpsons sucks now. Does it? Sometimes, but it's still the best thing we got...well...pretty darn close. |
| Yes, yes, yes! It's Family Guy! The best cartoon America has ever seen. How can I say it's the best? Well, what other cartoon features a gay dog, a megalomaniacal baby who constantly tries to kill his mother, and a fat guy who is confused about where his penis is? None other than Family Guy. Unfortunately the network that first bought the show...Fox...is run by morons and canned this brilliant show. Quite fortunately, Cartoon Network picked it up and runs it at 11:30 every night....I think. I'm not really sure. I don't get cable. I asked this guy to tape it for me. He hasn't. He sucks. His email address is [email protected] Send him malicious emails and viruses if you wish. Take that. Shazam! |
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