| Famous Artists |
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| Jacques Louise David-You know, I'm not too sure about his first and middle name and I'm far too lazy to look it up, but I know his last name is David. He's a man after my own heart, I do tell you that. He drew a bunch of pictures of Napoleon because Napoleon is the man and he made the pictures look very cool. He also drew a picture of a man killed in a bathtub (not shown). It was cool. He was dead and there was blood. Hee hee. Murder is funny. I bet his mum hung all his pictures on her Frigidare. You know, they didn't have General Electric refridgerators back then. Yum. |
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| Michelangelo-No, he's not just the oddest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Didn't it suck to try to spell his name? I'd rather spell Leonardo. It's the easiest to spell. I liked all the Ninja Turtles at different times. Except for Donatello. He really sucked. He was always like the gay Turtle. "Come on, guys. Put the pizza up. Let's do calculus." Umm...Michelangelo was an artist too. As you can see in this painting, he liked hands and later you learn he liked male genitalia as well. I don't really know why he liked male genitalia so much. Some people say it was because he was gay. I think it was that he was just amazed by me and had to make a statue showing off my beauty. David, he called it. I kept telling him to call it "Dr. Dave". He wouldn't. He said it would get weird if he said that he saw me naked and that he needed to be able to pretend it was the Biblical David. Sure, like anyone knows or cares what that Goliath killer looks like. Pish posh. |
| Andy Warhol-I really have no pictures of Andy's works. Nor do I know much about him really. He painted odd stuff and I like him for that. Plus, David Bowie sung a whole song about just him. It was a cool song. Andy Warhol...ah ah ah ha. |
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| Idiot Monet-The creator of impressionism. Impressionism-the worst thing to happen to art since the color yellow. I mean look at this worthless crap. There is nothing artistic about it. I could draw better than that. Why is it that mounds of poo get so much glory in the art world? Can I draw my poo and win awards? I can draw poo well. I'm the best drawer of poo in the world. Want to see my poo? |
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| Now an homage to the drawer of these weird clipart thingies. Oh, dear clipart drawer, where art thou today? Thy fruity paintings and drawings and portraits of everyday objects hath given us hope. Not hope merely to keep believing in art, but hope to believe in all of mankind as well. It is your work, your diligence that hath given man an incentive to rise above his pathetic sorry state and achieve greatness among the stars. Without you, clipart drawer, our society would be nothing and the world would be a barren wasteland full of nobodys and do-nothings. May you achieve immortality and the blessing of the gods. For thou, thou are the worthiest of men! |