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NLP'ers ask the question,     "If another person can have fun playing with their pet spider,

then what can we learn about them that we could teach the phobic person, so that they can play with spiders too?"     (Or something like that).

The spider-lover would most likely have an image representing spiders that was proportionally correct and at a reasonable distance    and possibly other factors    not worth getting into right now. Knowing the difference,

the NLP'er can use one of many techniques to help the phobic person relearn their reaction to spiders so that it is similar in nature to the spider-lover's (Hopefully less of the lover part).

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