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03/26/02 - I�m filled with emotion at the moment ... and it�s fantastic! I�ve needed my emotions sparked. Actually, I�m always emotional, emotionally involved. It�s that passion thing, can�t hold it down. Even before last weekend, I was experiencing some very heavy passionate, emotinal feelings, and guess what provoked them? ... Reading! Yeah, it doesn�t take me much. There�s some weeks that I have music around me 24/7 and that brings much passion. When you have a hole, you�ve got to fill it. An empty hole could be dangerous. So I fill. I�m glad I�m not sensitive though. No, not much of that. I have been through too much to be phased. But emotion, that�s different for me. Tell me something, something that may even be hard for me to hear. Tell me with honesty and sincerity. Tell me with passion. I will not be offended. I may become sad, I will definitely become emotional. But, it�s the hurt that cures. There�s a word for that kind of cure ... homeopathy. And then there�s Homeostasis: the tendency of a system, esp. the physiological system of higher animals, to maintain internal stability, owing to the coordinated response of its parts to any disruptive situation or stimulus. I�m working on that coordination now, I feel it in my parts. I once discussed loneliness with an old friend and he told me that when you feel that, you�ve just got to, well, feel it. Then you have to love yourself. I think that�s a very homeostatic suggestion. I was at the grocery store this afternoon and a few things caught my attention. First, the background music the store was playing was blues. (My grocery plays the best canned music ever, I always enjoy it.) But blues, got me swaying down the isles, keeping a sort of beat. As I got in the check out line I read the back of the tee-shirt worn by the man ahead of me. It said, �Be free to be yourself.� Ah, words of wisdom on a worn out, holey tee-shirt, who would have thought. Of course I had to comment, but he couldn�t remember what the shirt said. I had to read it to him. He smiled. As I was putting my groceries in my car I was deep in thought. I noticed a young man carrying his daughter across the parking lot, but I didn�t notice enough. I guess I heard her say �hi,� I guess I heard her say �HI� a little firmer, and then I heard �HI?????� At this point I really noticed, it was like she was saying, �Hey lady, I�m talking to you!� Well, my emotions took over.� HI CUTIE!� I yelled, waving and blowing her a kiss. Her father smiled. It�s everywhere, the passion. It really is. |