What does that jackass think he is? Taking my beer away and saying I’m a redneck has-been….

 

Ha!…..Has been…Yeah right!

 

If he ever says that in my face again….when I get through with him… He’ll be the has been around here.

 

I didn’t know where I was heading…my mind felt a bit dizzy. Maybe the jerk was right.

 

Maybe I did have a bit too much to drink.

 

Nah…I’m fine….Yea….I can count to ten…..perfectly.

 

He did sorta feel nice in my hands…

 

What the hell? 

 

I am so not thinking this…Oh no…

 

Looks adorable when he’s upset…

 

For the love of god… No.  Stop... stop…

 

I threw away the beer as far as I could.

 

Yea….it’s the beer…Its making me think of things I don’t want to think of…

 

It has to be the beer.

 

I couldn’t stop but let out a sigh as I lean against a wall. I look around… its kinda dark around here… and quiet…. Must be some part of the arena….abandon…

 

I slid down to the floor, laying my head against the cold wall.

 

Paralyzed.

 

That’s how I feel inside. Always have.

 

Nothing's ever got through to me. I always wanted be something I could never be.

 

Someone like Kurt.

 

Oh…god he’s in my mind again.  I have to stop thinking about him.

 

I close my eyes… Yeah, I'm gonna do it again! I know…some how that boy is getting to me…Don’t know how…don’t know why…

 

I’m sick of this…as I’m sick of my life. I'm tired of everything in my life.

 

Not tired of Kurt.

 

See I knew it….I’m thinking about him once more. I open my eyes as I heard sound of footsteps.

 

Talking about the devil himself…. Or in his case the angel himself…

 

“Taker…..Taker….I figured you be here…..I…” I sighed and looked up to him from where I was sitting. “You figured I’d be here huh Angle?”

 

I noticed him nod, “Well yeah! I mean you like the oh dark and creepy thing…”

 

I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at him. I notice his eyes widen a bit…

 

Surprise? Maybe. Scared? Always.

 

I saw him cross his arms around his chest and as always there’s the small pout… The one that’s adorable…cute….sexy even…

 

I mentally kick myself for thinking these things. I see him staring at me.

 

“What?” I growl out. He jumps a bit at it.

 

He opens his mouth a bit and he huffs a bit before speaking. “Aren’t you going to apologizes for what you did to me earlier?”

 

I close my eyes. Oh no not this again. I sighed and push myself up so I could be face to face with him.

 

I notice him back away a bit. I walk closer to him though, I even place my hands on his waist to steady him and hold him. I feel him tense up but doesn't move. My face is inches away from his as I lean down and whisper to him. "Never...ever come looking for apologizes from me boy...I can beat your ass to the ground for fun...You hear me?"

 

He nodded and I notice him breathing hard, I could feel the heat from him. It makes me weak in my knees....

 

I look into his eyes for a bit.  Trying to find some reason..some logic to what he's doing to me. 

 

I feel him tremble it makes me want to smile. I hear him whisper, "Please don't hurt me..."

 

I must be to close to him...I don't want to let him go... His red lips must be tasteful.... I want to taste them so bad... I lean down hard placing a brutal kiss on your lips. 

 

Never planned this... Never asked for it...

 

But wanted it so bad...

 

I feel Kurt tense up once more, feeling him try to fight me, but I held him down. Slowly he gave up the fight.

 

The kiss started to turn from brutal to gentle...

 

I broke away at that moment. I look into his eyes... I still get lost in them...and it seems that I can't live a day without you... Even if I want too...

 

I can't help it, I can't stop it if  I tried. I beaten everything I've come across with. I overcame any obstacles...but I can't overcome this. Somehow you snaked your way into me.

 

You're in my mind...Maybe today was the day I notice it...but I figured you always were on my mind. I never trusted  or felt happy with anyone. Ever since I'm stuck with you because of Vince I felt like I was whole. But I never paid mind to it.

 

I notice you looking at me and I see you lift your hand and place it on my shoulder, I jump at that.

 

No...this can't be happening. I can't let you into my heart anymore. Got to take you out of there...yank you out anyway possible...This is not right... You don't belong with me....even if you wanted to be with me....

 

I'm nothing but a empty shell inside.

 

It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.

 

I want you... but I'm not giving anything.

 

Goodbye to you.

 

I look into your eyes once more and whipser, "Goodbye Kurt...." I turn and start to walk away.