DreamInColour © 2004
“It’s Saturday morning do you know where you are sleeping?”
Hope was starting to wonder what kind of radio station she was listening
to when she felt someone’s presence directly above her she opened her eyes and
let out a blood-curdling scream.
“Fuck me woman are you trying to make me deaf!”
“Where am I?”
“In your bed, jeez Hope.” He was
rubbing his ears.
“Okay then why are you in my bed?”
His grin was from ear to ear, “It
was earth shattering Hope you made sounds I’ve never heard a woman make
before.”
She smacked him with a laugh,
“Answer me Blue or I’m gonna have to hurt you.”
“You got piss ass drunk and I wasn’t
letting you drive home so I dropped you off but you couldn’t unlock the door so
I did it for you. THEN you fell face first onto the front mat so I had to carry
you into the house and into your room. At that point I was so exhausted I just
crashed.”
“I got that drunk?” She asked.
“Well once Liv got there you two
bonded over the fact that you were the only women and ended up drinking every
last bit of vodka that Orli had. If you think you were bad you shoulda seen Roy
trying to drag Liv outta there it was fuckin’ hilarious.”
Hope shook her head, “If I got so
drunk how come I’m not hung over?”
“Cause I made you drink so much
fuckin’ water I’m surprised you didn’t piss yourself.” He said with a laugh,
“OH and thanks by the way you made me 50 bucks.”
“How?”
“You didn’t fuck Orli.”
“Of course I didn’t ‘fuck’ Orli why
the hell would I do that?” Although she had to admit that the idea was quite
pleasing if she allowed herself to think about it.
Elijah shrugged, “Most women want to
so it goes without saying that if you spend extended amounts of time with him
you’ll have sex with him. It never fails, at least it hasn’t as long as I’ve
known him.”
“So then why did you bet that I
wouldn’t?”
“Cause I’ve known you longer.” He
said with a laugh, “Now get up we’re going over to my mom’s for breakfast.”
Hope was just being dropped off from her breakfast at Elijah’s when it dawned on her that her car was still at Orlando’s. Not only was it there; but she also couldn’t remotely remember how to get there. She was contemplating this problem when her best friend Allie knocked on the door.
“Where have you been?”
“Out for breakfast, you?”
“Sobbing into my pillow that my best friend went out last night without
me.”
“It was last minute and I didn’t know where I was going.”
“So this is a good reason to ditch me.” Allie eyed her friend, “What
exactly did you do?
“Well Lij stopped by the office yesterday.”
“Ahh how is the little blue-eyed wonder?”
“Persuasive.”
“Really? Finally had sex with the boy did you? It was only a matter of
time. So tell me are they really all vigorous at such a young age? I’m thinking
lithe, was he at all lithe at any point in time?”
Hope smacked her friend hard on the arm, “Allie really, that’s
disgusting even for you.”
“Pity, he really would be a damn good romp, you gotta admit that.”
“No I don’t, because that’s revolting the boy is like my little
brother.”
“Okay so you didn’t bang the hobbit, what did you do then?”
“Have you heard of Orlando Bloom?”
Allie stopped breathing and slowly turned to stare at her friend, “Come
again?”
“You hadn’t had you? Cause until yesterday I’d never heard of the guy…”
“Are fucking kidding me? Do you live under a box? He is probably the
hottest thing walking. My god, don’t tell me you met him!” Allie was pacing.
“The party was at his house actually.”
“Sweet merciful heavens you met Orlando Bloom. Is he really that good
looking in real life, if you didn’t boff the young one tell me you at least got
laid by the elf. Aww damn that’d be good.”
“Honestly Allie get yer mind out of gutter. No I didn’t get ‘laid by the
elf’, I did apparently get drunk WITH an elf though.”
“Huh?”
“Liv Tyler.”
“Let me get this straight you went to Orlando Bloom’s house and got
drunk with Liv Tyler.”
“Right after some guy named Dom ran me over naked.”
“Dom?? As in Monaghan? You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me. You got naked
with Dom Monaghan?”
“Shit Allie! NO! HE was naked…something about being pantsed by Billy,
now he was a sweetheart had the best Scottish accent.”
“Merry and Pippin!!”
“Who?”
“You hung out with Merry and Pippin!”
“I don’t recall meeting anyone by those names, I don’t think I was that
drunk.”
“Dom and Billy are Merry and Pippin.”
“How can they be two people?”
“Lord of the Rings!”
“What?”
“Okay Orlando’s the elf, Lij is Frodo and Dom and Billy are Merry and
Pippin.” Allie prompted, “I can’t believe you don’t know this. I don’t think we
can be friends anymore.”
“Well I’m sorry I have no idea what you are talking about.” Hope could
never keep straight the many characters involved in that particular movie.
“It’s been fun then. I’ll see you around.” Allie went for the front
door.
Hope rolled her eyes, “Okay fine we’re breaking up, do you think you
could at least do me one more favour before we cut ties?”
“What?” Allie turned.
Hope smiled, “I left my car at Orli’s.”
Allie’s pallor went a lighter shade of pale, “You want me to drive to
Orlando Bloom’s house?”
“Well no actually I want you to take me back to Lij’s place cause I
can’t remember how to get there so we’ll need him.”
“Omigod I love you!” Allie jumped on her friend and gave her a huge hug.
“I thought we were breaking up.”
“If you can introduce me to a hot and sexy elf I’ll consider myself
vindicated. It’d be nice if I could meet the naked hobbit too.”
“Scaringly enough I’m sure the latter can be arranged. So will you help
me?”
“Are the youngin’s eyes blue? Hell yeah.” Allie pulled on Hope’s arm,
“Let’s get a move on I have an elf to seduce.”
After three detours and a phone call they finally arrived at Orlando’s
house and there was the red Honda right where Hope had left it. As the three
approached the front door it opened before they could knock. A dishevelled Orli
stood there with a bright pink bra hanging from his finger, “Is this yours?”
Allie looked at Hope, “Interesting.” She peered over his shoulder. “Do
you have a naked hobbit anywhere in there?”
“Looking for me?” Dom appeared in the front hall with nothing but a
towel wrapped around his waist.
Hope rolled her eyes, “Do you ever wear clothes?”
“On occasion, when they make me.”
“So…” Orlando dangled the undergarment in Hope’s face, “This…is it
yours? Cause I’m sure it’s not Liv’s and I do recall asking to see your breasts
and receiving this as a consolation prize.”
Allie leaned in and whispered loudly in her friend’s ear, “Breathe hunny
you’re going purple.”
Hope snatched the bra out of Orlando’s hand, “As a matter of fact this
is mine thank you for…ya know I honestly can’t remember.”
Orlando got a wicked smile on his face, “Best I’ve ever had.”
“And that’s saying a lot.” Dom interjected.
Allie put her hands on his shoulders and steered him out of the room,
“Come naked man let’s find you some clothes.”
“Aww do I have to?”
“Yes, yes you do.”
“It’d be easier if you just got naked with me.”
“As tempting as that is I’m saving myself for the elf.”
“Aww fuck, shot down again for the damn elf. Will it help if I said he’s
not that good of a snog?”
“No actually that’s just disturbing.”
“Right. Clothes then?”
“Smart move.”
Hope shoved the bra into her purse while Elijah calmly lit a smoke, “I
did mention that she was cool didn’t I? Was I wrong?”
“She’s definitely entertaining.” Orlando watched her with a smirk.
“You talk about me?” Hope eyed Elijah.
“Yes, crush…remember…I have a crush on you.”
“I didn’t think that implied discussing me with your friends.”
“Actually if truth be told, I mostly talked about what you might be like
in bed, but now I know. It’s a mixture of puke and vodka not much of a turn
on.”
“Your welcome for that by the way.” Orlando said to Hope.
She looked at him funny, “What?”
“For the vodka you thanked me a grand total of 98 times and then gave me
your bra…best present ever. Even though I do recall asking to see the
breasts…the offer still stands in case you were wondering.”
“Thanks I wasn’t. I have to say I don’t think I’ve ever been this
embarrassed. I think I’ll just turn now with my tail between legs and remove my
vehicle from your driveway.”
“I could say so many things about tails right now, but ya know it’s damn
early and I haven’t eaten yet.” Orlando laughed then winked at her, “Care to
stay for breakfast?”
“Already ate.” Hope turned again to leave.
“What about elevensies?” Billy’s voice came out of nowhere.
“Aww fuck Bill you did not just say that.” Elijah rolled his eyes.
“Billy! You’re still here?” Hope asked.
He smiled, “I was hoping for some more Hope actually.”
“All right if you’re here then I’ll stay, but I’m not eating anything
the elf makes.”
“What? Why? I’ll have you know I’m a very good cook.”
“Anyone who let’s me remove all the vodka from their home cannot be
trusted.”
“Have you ever tried to wrestle a bottle of vodka from two drunk women?
I wouldn’t recommend it, very dangerous. I think you drew blood. I chose not
intervene after that point.”
“So Billy you were going to feed me.”
“Right this way luv.”
Home Story
Index Chapter
Three