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Scene 7 A room in the Jail. AT RISE: VELMA and the MATRON are seated at a table with a radio between them. The MATRON listens intensely. MARY SUNSHINE speaks into a microphone on the Bandstand. During the scene, her voice seems to be coming out of the radio on the table. MARY SUNSHINE: Mrs. Hart’s behavior throughout this ordeal has been truly extraordinary… VELMA: (Sarcastically, over SUNSHINE’s commentary.) I bet it has. MARY SUNSHINE: Seated next to her attorney, Mr. Billy Flynn, she weeps… But she fishes in her handbag and cannot find a handkerchief… VELMA: Handkerchief? MARY SUNSHINE: … finally, her attorney, Mr. Flynn, hands her one… VELMA: That’s my bit. MATRON: (Shushing her.) Shhh… I wanna hear. MARY SUNSHINE: The poor child has had no relief. She looks around now, bewildered, seeming to want something. Oh, it’s a glass of water. The bailiff has brought her one. VELMA: A glass of water! That’s mine too! MARY SUNSHINE: Mrs. Hart, her usual gracious self, thanks the bailiff and he smiles at her, she looks simply radiant in her stylish dress and elegant silver shoes. VELMA: (To the Radio.) With rhinestone buckles? MARY SUNSHINE: With rhinestone buckles. (Lights fade out on MARY SUNSHINE as she exits. VELMA clicks off the radio and picks it up ready to throw it. MATRON stops her.) MATRON: Velma, take it easy! VELMA: (Upset.) But those were my shoes and she stole ‘em! MATRON: Well, you shouldn’t have left them layin’ around. VELMA: First she steals my publicity, my lawyer, my trial date, and now my shoes. MATRON: Well, waddya expect? She’s a low brow. The whole world’s gone low brow. Things ain’t what they used to be. (Music up.) VELMA: They sure ain’t Mama. It’s all gone. "CLASS" VELMA: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO FAIR DEALING? AND PURE ETHICS AND NICE MANNERS? WHY IS IT EVERYONE NOW IS A PAIN IN THE ASS? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CLASS? MATRON: CLASS. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO, "PLEASE, MAY I?" AND, "YES, THANK YOU"? AND, “HOW CHARMING“? NOW EVERY SON OF A BITCH IS A SNAKE IN THE GRASS? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CLASS? VELMA & MATRON: CLASS! AH, THERE AIN’T NO GENTLEMEN TO OPEN UP THE DOORS THERE AIN’T NO LADIES NOW THERE’S ONLY PIGS AND WHORES AND EVEN KIDS’LL KNOCK YOU DOWN SO’S THEY CAN PASS NOBODY‘S GOT NO CLASS! VELMA: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO OLD VALUES? MATRON: AND FINE MORALS? VELMA: AND GOOD BREEDING? MATRON: NOW NO ONE EVEN SAYS "OOPS" WHEN THEY’RE PASSING THEIR GAS VELMA & MATRON: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CLASS? CLASS. AH, THERE AIN’T NO GENTLEMEN THAT’S FIT FOR ANY USE AND ANY GIRL’D TOUCH YOUR PRIVATES FOR A DEUCE MATRON: AND EVEN KIDS’LL KICK YOUR SHINS AND GIVE YOU SASS VELMA: (A beat behind.) AND EVEN KIDS’LL KICK YOUR SHINS AND GIVE YOU SASS VELMA & MATRON: NOBODY‘S GOT NO CLASS! (ORCHESTRA up, lushly played.) VELMA: ALL YOU READ ABOUT TODAY IS RAPE AND THEFT MATRON: JESUS CHRIST, AIN’T THERE NO DECENCY LEFT? VELMA & MATRON: NOBODY‘S GOT NO CLASS MATRON: EVERYBODY YOU WATCH VELMA: ’S GOT HIS BRAINS IN HIS CROTCH MATRON: HOLY CRAP VELMA: HOLY CRAP MATRON: WHAT A SHAME VELMA: WHAT A SHAME VELMA & MATRON: WHAT BECAME OF CLASS? (Elevator sinks slowly on the last note.) LIGHTS FADE OUT |