On Wednesday morning at 8:00 a.m., I wake up from a dream. This dream caused me to wake up prematurely, about 45 minutes earlier than my alarm clock suggessted on this day. The reason that I wake up from this dream is unclear. It is not one of a negative or scary nature so there was no reason for me to escape. The most interesting thing about the dream that I had is the recurring theme. The setting and the people involved may change, but the point is clear within each one. Each time I have a dream like this, I wish and try to remember it as much as I can for as long as I can. It mirrors an aspect of my real life, but since the dream is perfect in some respects, there is not much reason to wake up and escape from it for a long time. Here is the thing. The dream I had this morning involved me hanging around with others in a classic setting of a room in an unidentified house. A little weird twist to it is that these other people are anonymous individuals, except one who is a really, really good friend of mine. The interaction between us two are like we are in the real world with just a little exaggeration in being slightly more playful. Even though this dream only had one identifiable friend in it, it is very similar to other dreams that involved my friends. I'm pretty much having fun and enjoying their company. These recurring dreams tell me and show me my appreciation for having great friends...and also my fear of losing them.
These days, I value my friends more than I ever have before. The reason behind that recalls of a lesson in my life that shall no longer be persistent these days. It started back when I was nine years old and I knew one kid who was quite possibly the greatest friend I have ever had at the time. I have always referred to him as my best friend, even lately. I had known him for only six months and we had the nicest times together. Then, one day he moved away from my neighborhood. I still remember much of that day well. I was with him in those last moments of being in my company. After that, it was not the same without him. I did have my other really great friends before and after him, but having him around completed my circle of friends. I remember constantly for many years after, I would hope and pray that he would return one day, at least for one time. When he left that day, it only started a trend that would last in my life for many years. Whenever I had great friends, I lose them in one way or another. I would never lose them in a bad way, like having a fight or letting something come between us. Yet, there are two factors that work against me in this: time and distance. As time goes on, bonds between friends stretch to the point of being thin, and then dissolve. For example, I had some really great friends when I was little. Two girls that I knew from way back were two of my longtime and best friends ever. When I moved away from the neighborhood, as a result of my mom splitting from my dad and finding her own place, I was never away from there permanently. I always able to come back and be with them for my dad still stayed in the house that I lived in for most of my childhood years. This neighborhood separation thing happened twice by the way, but that's somewhat beside the point. I always had my connection to that neighborhood, up until the year 2002 when my dad finally had to move out for a few reasons. I no longer had that connection. Yet even before that connection was gone, I saw the two (and some of the others) less and less in my later years because I was not in the neighborhood nowhere near as often. There wasn't much there for me at that point. I didn't have to go to school in that area anymore, and I only visited my dad once a week. The last I have seen of them was between 2001 and 2002. Since going off to college I have grown, and I'm sure they have too. They have probably moved on to other things just as I have. They probably do not care as much or at all anymore, at least from where I can see.
Now, moving back up to life today. Being in college has changed me a great deal. Within the first year, I grew as a person in the aspects of being a little far away from home and actually talking to people more. However, it was during my sophomore year that things would change for me socially. Being placed in areas of work and classes that involved more interaction, it allowed me to develop even more. In some cases, people took the initiative to talk to me because I normally would not have done so. It was a big deal for people to actually think enough to actually speak to me. I was highly appreciative for that. I still am, especially for those who first befriended me during that year. Since then, my presence is more known among others. Some of my friends would tell me that I know everybody since I would at least greet people in public one way or another. In most cases, I would actually know the individuals. I like how far I have come. This has been my most social period in life since my younger years. I try to make my current life like my past one in that respect. In a way, it's actually better because I have a lot more friends these days than I've had back then. However, the amount does not matter. Although my greatest times of my life were when I was a kid (thanks in part to my friends from back then), the enjoyment that I have gotten then and now are similar in some respects. Back then, everything in life was so carefree so I was totally happy. These days, the only reason that I would be even remotely happy is thanks to the friends I have now. They help me to temporarily escape what could otherwise be a bad day, or they could heighten a good day. Either way, I am thankful. However, I feel like I should not get too happy to have them thanks to another life lesson that I know. Whenever anything positive occurs or is brought to me, it ultimately does not last. The negative persists. Therefore, I have the fear that the same thing that has happened then will happen to me now. I might eventually lose them. I am afraid of that happening. I think that is why I have these dreams. Sometimes, there are dreams filled with fictional moments involving friends from my past. Then, there are those that play out great times with current friends. They are a constant reminder of how I should appreciate the friends that I have. It is safe to say that for the rest of my life, I will be haunted or graced with these dreams. I hope that all of these great people would stay in my life always. I do know that there are things beyond my control that can and will change that. Still, I want to find a way to control that situation. I believe that the major way is to let my friends know how much I appreciate them. So, here it goes. First, to my great friends of the past, I thank you for the happiness that you have brought to me back then. The moments can never be replaced. If I never had you all back then, I would probably not have had as good of a life then and I wouldn't have been able to gravitate and try to create similar moments of today. To all of my favorite people that are in my life now, I want to thank you for thinking enough of me, hanging with me, and making me happy. I may or may not tell you how I feel in person, but I would like to let you know at least once before it could be too late. I appreciate you being a part of me more than you might ever know. You have helped me to become a better person in these recent years of my life. For all of that, I love you all...I really do. With that said, the dreams will not stop, and I know they will help to give me a reminder of all that is great in my life. I can only wish intensely that none of the greatness will fade.