AN UNDETERMINED JOURNEY�IN THE DARK

AUGUST 3, 2002

 

Stepping out

I attempt to take a journey without a purpose

Why must I go?

It is time to leave�time to make a getaway

The beginning

My footsteps are slow as I wonder where to start

Wait a minute�

I start right here

Where I am standing

In the dark

 

Nighttime�my favorite part of the day

I have no kind of distractions to bog me down

There�s no one around me, so I�m all alone

No need to share this �enjoyment� with anyone

I commence to go on my way

Don�t know where I�m going, but I�m going somewhere

In the dark

 

I look up into the sky

The glistening visual of stars instills a little hope inside of me

A little hope for a successful journey and discovery of purpose

The idea of making a wish upon a star crossed my mind

My wish wouldn�t come true, though

Scratch that

The walking continues

In the dark

 

I go in all directions�north, south, east, west

Attempting to become lost into an adventure

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately)

Familiar paths that I�ve previously crossed revealed themselves

Still, I do not know where I am going

My destination is still unclear

I continue to take my steps

In the dark

 

Feelings surface

Thoughts are rampant

Confusion swells

Puzzling questions fill my mind

No kind of answers present themselves

What started as an activity for clarity

Turned into a search for solutions

The search is unsuccessful

Not much comprehension between the mental chaos

An ultimate purpose is not allotted any time for development

Among discouragement, I am still walking

In the dark

 

My undetermined path leads me to an open field

My footsteps slacken

However, they do not cease

I slowly make my way into the spacious area

Finally, I stop

The walking is over

I look around at the marvel of open space

Here I am�all alone

No companion to share the journey taken

No answers to the questions that filled the inquisitive mind

Alone and confused

Confused and distraught

I look up into the sky once more

Stars shining as brightly as I remembered

The thought of making a wish entered my mind once more

A wish that everything will become better somehow

My head lowered to verify the negative

The negative that a change will not come so easily

Seeing above, a moon previously ignored

My vision is fixated on the spectacle

A full moon�shining light upon all

In the dark

 

The moon was so bright

I felt so dull

After a prolonged glance, I closed my eyes

A tear started to form in my right eye

As the tear descended, so did my head

I held my hand out

The tear

Falling and falling

Slowly falling into my hand

I grasp the drop as soon as it lands

It is the only tear I intend to shed

 

My head ascends one final time

Observing the nocturnal visual once more

Envisioning all that is right in the sky

While I stand here in disbelief

Within one blink, another tear forms in my left eye

No longer can I hold anything in

One my one, the tears start to flow

In the dark

 

A silent cry

Transfixed visualization

The journey was complete

Complete, but incomplete

Incomplete and unanswered

All I can do now is stand

In observation of the obvious conflict

Outside, I am adorned by the stars and moonlight

Inside�myself�I am�

In the dark

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