Summer and College

Kid #1: What are YOU going to do with your $20,000?
Kid #2: Buy a giraffe. What about you?
Kid #1: *smirks and nods* Quuuiiit schooool.
Random Psycho Homeless Man: *sitting cross-legged* GOOD IDEA! School's for FOOLS! *waves hands in air* LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! -Mr. Deeds

Rules for the iZAN FU
1.)Meet in front of Methodist church Wednesdays at 5 (and/or whenever Bible studies commence) for book burnings.
2.)Color of attire may include, and IS limited to anything red, black, gold or white, however white and gold must always be worn with a majority of black or red.
3.)NO TANNING- must have scary pale complexion.
4.)No socializing with anyone outside iZAN FU.
5.)Must be a dedicated Redbird Fan.
6.)Must always win- LOSERS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED AND THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES.
****Warning of Intimidation, severe beating with midevil foam swords, third is death by Libby. If Libby is not available, incinerator appointments will be made. Must have SS# available.

"Lots of people get sad when it rains." "But it rains because you're sad, baby." -MEN IN BLACK 2

"ZED I CAN BE AGENT M! AGENT M ZED AGENT M!" -Micheal Jackson haha yeah SHUT THE HELL UP YOU DO NOT BELONG IN THIS MOVIE.

"He was talking with a lady with a bad personality. Heather sat down and I stood and the scene we witnessed was more entertaining than the movie. Apparently Cody had come to pick up his schedule, and he also filled up his inhumanly large Scooby's cup. He walked by this lady and inquired in an excited Cody tone, "ISN'T THIS A HUGE CUP?!?!" her response was something to the effect of "Yeah. GIVE ME FIVE DOLLARS!" From there, they bickered profusely about random things I don't really remember. It consisted of his 50 wives (and she NOT being one of them), the money so she could buy candy, Heather telling her she and Cody were twins, the profanity, oh the profanity, (Once a little kid and his dad or brother or something walked by when the lady said "BULL SHIT!" and the kid gasped it horror and the brother/dad said "DID YOU HEAR THAT?!" So funny.) and us being afraid because this lady was very drunk or high or something. I thought she was going to snap and murder all three of us. I was tempted to pretend I was a German Exchange Student, but I honestly could not keep my laughter it. You don't care about manners when the company is THIS idiotic." -My Open Diary

"Are you the tickey man?" -My Mom "Excuse me? The 'tickey man'? No, see... I'm STANDING POINT!!!!" -Cody

"How you guys doin'? You guys having fun opening and closing your doors?" -Guy coming out of IHOP "We're great, how about you? Yes we are in fact." -Me "FYI, drugs will do a lot more for you." -THE JERKFACE

*motions to 4th Dr. Pepper* "Hey John, you're REALLY gonna have to pee after that one." -Stella "It's a good thing I wore my portable catheder." -John

"I swear, if I hear the theme music to Austin Powers one more time, I am going to find Mike Meyers, and MURDER HIM SLOWLY." -Me

"It doesn't equate. Kill him." -CODY!!!! after I told him something that a certain person did to me.

"HOOKER!� -John screaming in Olive Garden

�Hey baby, they�re playing our song.� -John calling Stella's cell phone "JOHN STOP IT!!!!" -Stella �Don�t worry Stella, I won�t touch your phone in ways you don�t want me to.� -John

�YOUR KID�S FREQUENCY IS TOO HIGH!� -Me at Wendy's

"Is it a bad sign that we have not heard the drier noise after everyone that has exited the bathroom?" -Amanda

"WOAH THIS ROOM IS CRAZY!" -Random Hewett Resident "Yes, we're having it committed to the dorm room asylum in a little while." -Me

"Hey, how you doin' kids?" -Space Ghost attemtping to reach the kids in the far reaches of the galaxy.

Later on... at camp �AND THAT�S HOW I SAVED CHRISTMAS!� -Space Ghost

"I am the dark locust of the appocalypse. Think of me when you look to the night sky." -Zorak

"I have a woman's torso." -Jon Stewart

"MY DOG JUST PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE!" -Steve

WWJD (for a Klondike bar?) -a hilarious t-shirt

"I'll take 'The Rapists' for 200 Alex." -Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery "That's 'THERAPISTS' not 'The Rapists' Mr. Connery." -Will Ferrell as Alex Trebek

"How many abodigitals do you see modeling?" -Derek Zoolander

"I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!" and "OBEY MY DOG." -Mugatu

FOI Textbook Quotes:

"Earn a D or an F and you get No Credit, which is like kissing your cousin."

"MYTH: I already know how to think and I know all about arguments, ask my mom and dad. TRUTH: Some of you undoubtedly do. Help us teach the rest of the class. You may learn something while doing so. Argumentation is not about quarrelling. Most people know how to yell "Oh yeah? Well, you're wrong donkey breath!" FOI teaches you to think critically. It teaches you how to tell that bozo WHY s/he is wrong."

"DRUGS- Unless we're talking Nyquil or Tylenol here, multiply the consequences of DRINKING by ten and start thinking about tattooing your cellmate's name on some part of your body to show your devotion. Do we have to talk about the joy of cavity searches here? Jailhouse delousing?"

"GRADE SUCKS, WHAT CAN I DO?-- first consider, is this really my fault? Did I screw up? Did I turn in all my assignments and on time? Whose pants are these?"

"Wouldn't it be funny if the guy was a drunk driver?" -Ginger "Yes that would be hilarious for all the people walking on the sidewalks waiting to surrender their lives." -Me

KT: You don't have a girlfriend named April do you?
Strother: No, why?
KT: Because Cody's girlfriend is April, and Steve is taking an April to Homecoming. I just wondered if I should change my name to April.
Strother: Hehehehe

THE PRANK CALL CHRONICLES!

Prank Call Numero Uno: Scary Guy on Answering Machine: *deep breath* BLAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! BLAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! BLLLLLLAAAAAHHHHH!!!! *barely deciferable* This is Graaaahm.. calla me back... Grrraaaaahhhhhmmmm back!

Prank Call Nummer Zwei: Assertive Guy on Answering Machine: *party noises in background* Hey Mike, YOU'RE A FUCKING DEUSCHBAG GET OVER HERE!!!!

Prank Call Numero Tres: Chick Trying to Seduce Our Answering Machine: Hey baby... where are you? You should be here. I wanna suck your *censored* and make it hard. *insert other vulgar disgusting connotations*

Prank Call Nummer Vierundnichtzig: An ACTUAL Prank Call!

*ring ring ring* *Katie sleeps on*

Hillary: *thinking it's Eric so she answers in her usual 'I sound evil' voice* HELLO.

Girl: Hi, this is the Hewett fronk desk, is Kathryn there?

Hillary: Uhm, she's asleep may I take a message?

Girl: Well there's a Micheal down here who needs to be escorted up.

Hillary: Okay... Katie! *Katie awakes, grumbling* There's a Micheal on the phone for you.

Katie: *dazed* Who...Micheal... whaaat? *knowing there's only one Micheal but he refers to himself as MIKE and would not call at 1:20 am* What's his last name?

Hillary: Can I get the last name?

Girl: What's your last name?

Guy: *muffled, in background* Uhh... PENISDICK! *click*

Hillary: *laughs hysterically*

Katie: *utter confusion*

Hillary: *tells Katie the story and calls Eric* Eric, is there any way to trace prank phone calls? Like star 69 or something?

Eric: *response*

Hillary: *tells him the story*

Eric: So... is he down there waiting?

Hillary: What? No Eric!

Katie: *laughs and hates college*

�Fool me once, shame on........................... shame on you......... IFYOUFOOLED�IMONCEYOUCAN�TGETFOOLEDAGAIN!� -King George the W
�He�s so stupid!� -Alten, us
�SMELL YA LATER!�-Hillary
"DAVID DUCHOVNY IS A PORN STAR!" -Eric
"Let's build a fire and make some nice warm schmoes." -Buzz Lightyear
KT: STOP WARNING ME!
Eric: Ooh, im warning you for the weather. Its cold outside.