"FABOO!!" ~Pat & Sopeak (remember Carly?!?!)
"How about...a taco salad?!?!" ~Mr. Bernklau
"Nowhow!" ~Me (Dum) "Contrariwise!" ~Carly (Dee)
"Here comes Modest...Oh! There he goes!" ~Us talking about Chris the almighty most
wonderful three foot actor in the whole world.
"Gobble gobble." ~Carly "Very good Carly. Now what does the piggy say?" ~Mr. McCaley
"Does that man have radar or something?" ~Me
"By the end of the year, I'll be bald you know." ~Me talking to Javier when he sat behind
me in Science plucking my hair out and putting it on my desk.
"Can I borrow a pencil?"
~Javier
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I DON'T HAVE A PENCIL FOR YOU, AND YOURS IS RIGHT
ON YOUR DESK!" ~Me yelling at Javier
"Bite me!" ~Javier
"Are you trying to kill me or
something?" ~Me after Javier pulled my shirt collar and choked me.
"And this is...a cow??" ~Mr. Tyle
"EMILY!" ~Someone
"MMMMOOOOOO!!" Someone
else
"But Mrs. Keuker! They aren't saying anything bad! It just SOUNDS like they say 'Fuck
your mother'!" ~Me during Art Club, trying to convince Mrs. Keuker that Pat's
Chumbawumba CD wasn't at all bad.
"Help, I'm bleeding internally."
~Carly
"What is that guy sniffing?"
~My Dad
"Probably the Gumbalia."
~My Mom after the comment above was said.
"Did you just wipe your nose on the window?"
~Me
"ALL I WANTED WAS A LUNCH!"
~Lil John
"NNOO!! It's the pigeon lady! RRUUNN!!"
~Me
"KATIE! Stop spraying the glister up your nose!"
~Carly
"I forgot the 'i' in 'travels'."
~Amanda M
"I make this look gooooooood."
~Agent J
"SSSSTTTTEEEELLLLAAAA!!!!"
~Marlon Brando
"Leagalize it! Leagalize it I say!"
~Matt (sniff sniff)
"We need to find one of those little pictures of the mall."
~Amanda H
"You mean, a map?"
~Carly
"Shuttup."
~Amanda H
"That's it, no more Mr. Knife Guy!"
~Jim West
"A movie about a relationship, that's worse than yours."
~Preview for "Love Stinks"
"What relationship? You mean Katie and John's?"
~Amanda M
"You know, this was supposed to be my weekend off. But nnnnoooo. You got me out
here, dragging your heavy ass, through the burnin' desert, with your dreadlocks stickin'
out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin' all big
and bad. AND WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?!?! AAARRRGGGHHH!!! I COULDA BEEN IN
A BARBEQUE! But I ain't mad, no way. That's alright."
~Captain Steven Hiller
"Name it Skala Boy!"
~Amanda H
"John Guam Skala Boy Valdez? That doesn't sound right. How about Guam John Valdez?"
~Me
"Have you gone insane? Or were you born this way?"
~Me
"Katie! Don't steal my black chuckles!"
~Jen
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
~Anyone who has ever tried to dominate the world.
"I think you are one braincell short of a dumbass."
~Me
"Don't call me Stumpy! HUMPY!"
~Stella (on that faithful Halloween night...)
"Oohh, shot down!"
~Carly
"...Now, THIS is what a breast is supposed to feel like."
~Jim West
"Oohh...nice, yes. Very, uh, soft..."
~Artemus Gordon
"Jack, there's a boat Jack..."
~The even more annoying 'Kate' Winslet
"HEY! Boy...Don't you get me started!"
~Me (remeber that Beth?)
"Why look Katie it's it's IT'S...BEAU!"
~Mary-Megan
"MMmmMM! Who loves pound cake? Katie loves pound cake!"
~Me
"Let's break that word down, 'redneck'. First word, 'red'. A color of passion, fire, POWER.
The second word, 'neck'...NECK...*$h!t*...Well, I can't think of anything for 'neck' right
now, but you still have 'red'."
~Jim West
"Have a strawberry day!"
~Me
"When I was younger, it was more about being different when everyone else wanted to
fit in. I always wanted how I talked and my clothes to be different. Peer pressure never
meant anything to me. If something was done one way, something in me resisted it."
~Will Smith
"It's a flying squirrel! NO! It's a deflating blimp! NO! It's...Toilet Boy!" ~Me
"I AM TOILET BOY! QUICK! TO THE BATHROOM!" ~Toilet Boy
"LA! LA!" ~My Dad
"Where is she? I can't see her!" ~Me
"It must be the Gene Pool." ~Amanda H & Cory
"Carly look! Khaki shorts!" ~Me & Carly's Mom
"Smooth move Ex-Lax." ~Carly's family & 'Shane'
"Have you ever been in a Turkish Prison?" ~Frank
"Ecky-ecky-ecky-kipang!-boing!-zoom!-mumble mumble." ~The Knights Who Until Most
Recently Said 'Ni'
"It's a maggit!" ~Carly
"SSHH!! Be vewy vewy quuuiiiet! I'm hunting BOXES! Heheheh." ~Me
"Get 'em Dusty get 'em!" ~Donna
"I be a young person." ~Carly
"SHUT THE F...RONT DOOR!" ~Amanda M
"Bea Weaver!" ~Frank
"When I saw her face, dum dum dum dum, yeah I'm a Bea Weaver!" ~Me & My Dad
"This parrot is deceased!" ~Guy
"No it's not, it's just resting!" ~Other Guy
"Do you go to Gary's school? Who is this Gary character?" ~Frank
"A-S-P-A-R-A-G-U-S!" ~Carly
"HOW COME EVERY LITTLE KID IN THE WORLD OWNS JIM WEST SUNGLASSES?!?!" ~Me
"Because they are cheap, and from Burger King." ~Amanda M
"GET ON WITH IT!" ~Army of Angry British Extras From Monty Python.
"It ain't always gonna be great. You gotta be prepared to take the bad times with the
good times. If it all ends tommorrow, it'll be okay, because all my experiences have led
me to who I am. And being sure of who you are helps you to get through." ~Will Smith
"TTFN! Tatafornow!" ~Me & Tigger
"Hey hey hey! What's up mah sista?" ~Me
"SHUT UP!!" ~Strother
"You pulled a Katie." ~Trashy
"D*MM*T F*CK*NG SH*T TO H*LL CR*P @$$ PURPLE MONKEY MOM E*TER SHIMMY
SHAKER WANNA BE A SPICE GIRL LFO LOVER BALIMOS SINGER DOGGIE KILLER RABBIT
FOOT!!" ~Me when I pull a Katie.
"So, are you going to put a picture of ME on your site?" ~Amanda's Mom, talking to me
on the phone.
"Uhh...No?" ~Me, and then Amanda's mom laughs.
"Well, what am I going to call it?? 'Pictures of my friend's moms?'" ~Me as Amanda's
mom laughs harder.
"Amanda's eating all of my ice cream." ~Amanda's mom AGAIN.
"Hey, goat!" ~Carly
"Does a squirrel reproduce? Now, if you don't know the answer to this one, you need to
go look in your backyard and watch squirrels chase each other." ~Mr. Carper, My Biology
Teacher
"I'll bet I have more Barbies than you!" ~John
"Where'd my nose go?!?!" ~Me When The Novicane Made Me Think My Nose Went Away
"This is kind of a morbid movie, isn't it?" ~My Dad While Watching "My Girl" With Me
"He's Too Fat!" ~That Old Lady In "Goin' Berserk"
"I want to pet it!" ~Amy Talking About Petting Mr. Carper's Taxidermied Squirrel
"Squirrels and peanut butter!" ~Me
"Squirrels and peanut butter...what?!" ~My Dad
"SQUIRRELS AND PEANUT BUTTER!!" ~Me
"I ate squirrel once, but not with peanut butter though." ~My Dad
"See, you'll always act like a Freshman." ~John
"And John, you'll always look like a Freshman." ~Me
"Let's lock him in there! Where's the keys?! Dammit, I can't find them!" ~Me Talking
About Locking Shimmerman In The Storage Closet
**A Notebook Conversation In Western Civ Between Pat And I**
"The bathroom or bust!" ~Me
"I've had to go since 1st period!" ~Pat
**More To Come On That When I Bring My Notebook Home**
"Where's my doughnuts?" ~John
"I didn't bring any." ~Me
*John Sobs* "Well I'm
sorry!
My parents didn't buy any!" ~Me
"No no! You just don't like me anymore." ~John
"Look,
when my parents get some I promise I'll bring you a doughnut." ~Me
"You'd better or I'm
gonna come over there and..." ~John
"Did you kids do your homework?" ~My dad asking Beth, John, Margot and Darcie if they
did their homework, in front of John's house.
"Sorry guys. He went senile at 50." ~Me
"I
can tell." ~John
"Jesus! I got a 100% on my quiz! Man, that means I must have gotten a decent grade on
the---(my Geometry teacher passes back the test)---shit." ~Me
"Hey, do we have to write out the whole sentence?" ~Tim (aka Ingo) in German Class
"Oh, well, now you do." ~Frau Baker (our group moans) "Tim, I don't think you should
talk anymore. You make us have to do more work!" ~Me
"INGO I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"~Frau Baker (teehee)
"It figures that the bitchy girl in Taming Of The Shrew is named Katharina." ~Me (cuz my
German name is Katharina)
*Jesus makes a little "phone" with his hand and mouths the words, "Call me." I make a
disgusted face and mouthed the words, "You wish."* (The Infamous 1st Semester Drama Class
Sophomore Year.)
"PAT JUST PUSHED ME INTO THE LOCKERS!" ~Me tattling on Pat after he DID in fact, push
me into the lockers. However, Shimmerman doesn't care...
"FART! YOU GOTTA FART!! MAKE THE FARTING NOISE!" ~Maggie after auditions.
"Hey hey!" ~Strother
"Hey hey hey!" ~Me
"How's your twin Beth?" ~John
"I don't have a twin, thank you." ~Beth
"Yeah you do!
Which sister is it?" ~John
"I don't have a twin!" ~Beth
"If you don't choose, I'm
going to
pick for you!" ~John
"Give me a napkin please." ~Me at lunchtime
"No! I don't take orders from anybody! You
sound like my damn mother!" ~John (Yes, all that over a NAPKIN.)
"So..." ~Me
"Yeah yeah I know. 'Say hi' to Carly for you." ~Margot
"Dammit,I gotta do my driver's ed homework!" ~Stella
"Why do you think I was waiting
for you Stella? So we could do it together!" ~John
"At least she took down that ugly shrunken head!" ~Melissa, Beth's sister (her twin ;-)
"I
agree. Oh my God...Beth, I've found a common bond with your sister! We both hate that
shrunken head! AAHH!!"~Me
"WOAH! WHAT'S UP WITH HER EYES???? AAAHHH!! IT'S STIGMATA!! I JUST SAW
STIGMATA!! THEY CHANGED COLORS!! THEY CHANGED COLORS I TELL YOU!!"~ Josh aka
Stigmata boy one day in Drama class when he CLAIMED my eyes turned from blue to
bright green. What a retard.
"Well your eyes changed color."~Josh
"NO! THEY DIDN'T! YOU SAW WRONG! THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CHANGE COLOR, AND
THEY DIDN'T CHANGE COLOR EITHER!"~Me
"But they changed color."~Josh
"But that's pretty cool though."~Jesus
"Thank you."~Me rolling my eyes
"Where did she go?"~Linsay asked when our gym teacher walked away
"She forgot to turn off her d**do"~Sarah D. as another teacher walks by(now that was
hilarious)
"Get that f*ing cow away from me!"~Me telling Christene to stop bothering me with her
plush cow in English class
"Hey! Are you insulting her cow?!"~Tim defending Christene's plush cow in English class
"Derek is a putz!"~Mr. Carper my biology teacher wrote in the biggest letters on his
powerpoint presentation insulting Derek(But then the next day he played an *N Stynk
video and crap on it...*shiver*)
"Hey Jen look! It's your cousin!"~Jackie pointing out to my second cousin twice removed
(or something like that) that we were somehow related. (AND YOU HAD A CRUSH ON HER CODY
AWWW!! j/k j/k j/k)
BANG! "Uh oh, I dropped my calculator!" ~Matt T. in Geometry
"Oh no, if it's broken there goes dinner for a month!!"~Steve making fun of Matt having
to pay for his own food (HAD to be there.)
"Oh oh OH! Who's the FOOL now HUH??"~Beca mocking Matt
"Okay, this is messed up. Deanna is pregnant by John, who has 5 other girls pregnant, so
they are going to get married before Christmas, so John can get the Black and Decker
powertool he wanted, but now they aren't getting married so Deanna's all sad.
Hhmm...maybe I should tell Deanna of when John was raped by an 85 year old
man..."~Me (And if you wanna know, ask. It's a looong story.)
"Oh stop playing with the damn Pokemon toy!"~Me
"Hey, my friend over there thinks your cute."~This weird guy telling me that, and I reply
"Oh really...heh heh, that's niiiice..."~Me as I inch closer to Darcie and Beth and say
"AAHH!! I HAVE AN UGLY LITTLE KID THAT THINKS I'M CUTE!! HELP!"
"I disagree with Christene. Because I've known this girl since I was three, and she's like
my sister."~Me debating in English class
"WHO???"~Matt B turns around in his seat and asks who
"CARLY!!!"~I yell back
"I remember Ghostbusters! I had this one outfit, TOTALLY Ghostbusters! All the boys
thought I was cool and---"~Me
"Too bad they don't think the same now."~Kyle(Remember Kyle, what goes around,
comes around.)
"Are you a man hater?"~Rick
"What?"~I turn and look at him weird
"Woah I guess that's a 'YES'."~Rick (R-E-T-A-R-D)
"Take some drugs. Drugs are good. But don't quote me on that."~Mr. Kellner(TOO LATE
KELLNER!!!AHA! Or should I say...MR. WAITER! I know, I know. It's stupid. But I'll have revenge
on you one day...)
"End of Jumping Days..By Beau and Chris."~Chris T. (their IHDA, FUNNY STUFF I wish I
taped it.)
"You look like a damn fool!"~Tony (Then Nicole proceeded to laugh and liquid/snot shot out,
partly onto Tony. Then she ducked down on the seat so's not to be seen. Meanwhile Tony is
disgusted because of the "debris" and Monaca, Mike and I are turning purple from laughter; as
the entire cafeteria filled with Novice 4N6 competators stare at the crazy We-go people.)
"Katie...John loves you...He wants to marry you...Katie K****S-S***A. Or better yet, John
S***A-K****S!! AHAHA HE CAN BE YOUR WIFE!!"~Christina at the Naperville Central 4N6
Tourney(Yes John and I were plotting her demise believe me. Ugh, it got SO bad,
especially after Darcie worked the pole and slammed into the cafeteria tray holder
thingy, that by the end of the night we were calling her Christina Dro-HO and Christina
Dro-whore!)
