In the year 2000....

CO: It's serious and needs to be done. Ladies and gentlemen we need to look to the future. That's right David Duchovny, lets look to the future…

CO: Singer Meatloaf will realize that Meatloaf is a stupid name and will change it to the much cooler "Meatdiddy".

DD: The American Bald Eagle will be taken off the endangered species list, not because it is no longer extinct, but because it is a deutchbag.

CO: It will be discovered that Paul Revere's famous battle cry was not "The British are coming, the British are coming!" but rather, "Help! I'm being chased by a bunch of guys in red jackets with bad teeth.

DD: As a prank the United Nations will introduce a new resolution to combine all the countries into one. After the merger is signed by the first two countries, Canada and Peru, all the other countries will laugh and say, enjoy your new country, Canapu!

CO: The lost comic strips of Charles M. Schultz will be discovered, where Charlie Brown actually kicks the football, Linus abandons his blanket, and Peppermint Pattie finally whips it out.

DD: The social order will be inverted, when limousine drivers will host the first ever "Limo Driver's Prom", forcing High School Seniors to drive them around to get drunk and have sex.

CO: Women will all loose interest in David Duchovny, when it is revealed that Duchovny is the Russian word for "syphilis".

DD: Women will all loose interest in Conan O'Brian when it is revealed that he had a raging case of "Duchovny".

CO: To keep their conflict interesting to Americans, China and Taiwan steal story lines from the TV show "Felicity": China will cut its hair and Taiwan will totally bag Ben for Noel.

DD: I'm glad you had that one…Sales of Timex watches will drop drastically when they change their slogan from, "It takes a licking and keeps on ticking", to "It takes a licking, but prefers a sucking."

CO: Very nicely done. Thanks to David Duchonvy…