The No Shims Page

Okay, if you don't know, you may be wondering what a 'shim' is. I think you'll get the gist of what it is as you scroll down. Now remember, I am not racist or prejeduice to anything, but this...Come on people, it's not naturally possible for a human. So if you are a shim, then you have some serious serious issues. Most likely they are perverts. Hey, now you're probably wondering how in the hell I got into this. Welp, it started about two years ago, when I was talking to this 'jerk' online. To make a long story short, he sent me his picture, or what was supposed to be his, and...Okay, let's try this. Picture either an insanely hideous woman with bad makeup and hair (Quinn, stoppit now. QUINN NO!), no boobs, hair all over it's filthy body, with a two-piece bright red bathing suit on, and finally...a Louisville Sluger in it's mouth and *cough* hole. This thing had absolutely no dick, unless it was a cocktail weenie. I swear, it must have been a male that had surgery cuz it looked like a guy until you get down there. Dree knows, Beth knows. I felt like I was going to puke up my liver into the toilet, and then laugh my ass off to next tuesday. So, I told Dree this...and we wrote a song. A couple a songs. A few songs. Ah Welp. And then Trashy came up with another idea...So, enjoy NO SHIMS LAND!

COMING SOON: THE NO SHIMS SONG! (and I mean it this time)

Okay, before we get to the main stuff, here are just some...little parodies about shims...

1.Shim shimeny shim shimeny shim shim sheroo...They're walking like dogs...a cross of guysNgurls too...~Mary Poppins

2.Hi, her name is...dyke?...His name is...gay?...They're name is...ick ick ick ick...SHIM SHADY!~Eminem

3.But of all the things I ever tell you, you MUST remember this one thing...No matter what a transvestite tells you, there are no shims, in the Fairly Decent room.~Chris Rock

**A Possible Shim Commercial**
*Announcer voice arrises over a naked shim in the shower*
ANNOUNCER:Are you tired of working day and night trying to get all of those tangly nots out of your hair extentions?
*The Shim nods 'yes'*
ANNOUNCER:Does your female side contrast with the male side of you to give you very contradicting and unpleasent looking hair?
*The Shim smiles and nods 'yes' again*
ANNOUNCER: Well then frustrate no more! (and we mean that) Thanks to the new and improved SHIMPOO, you can have the beautiful hair you desire that's suitable for either gender!
*Shim looks overjoyed*
ANNOUNCER: And not only is it a shimpoo, but also a stress reliever, to know that with the small minority of Shims in the world, you feel as though no one understands. But fret no more, because we care about your hair, just as much as the average normal one-gendered human being! It's a sense of happiness when you know that someone cares.
*Shim is happily jumping up and down in shower*
ANNOUNCER: So try SHIMPOO today...
*A bottle of SHIMPOO is thrown to Shim*
SHIM: You won't go female...or male...without it!
*END*

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