Made of Steel
Disclaimer: The song, "Made of Steel" is copyright Our Lady Peace. Not mine. And the characters are not mine either. Digimon does not belong to me.
For Drakin, because he lets me spam his guestbook. {Drakin: ^_^ WAAIII! Brownie points for Leticia!}
I can be anything that you want me to be
I shoulder my way through the crowd of hysterical fans. The concert is over and everyone is hanging about, hoping for a glimpse of Matt Ishida.
It seems that I am the only one who had heard the quaver in his voice as he sung. Something is wrong, and as his best friend, it is my job to find out what. �TK!� I shout, waving. �TK!�
He rushes over, looking worried. �Tai. Thank God you�re here. He won�t see any of us. Not even me. You have to see what�s wrong. Please, Tai.� I can see how worried he is, and that he�s hurt. Well, that�s it. If it comes down to a fight, Matt is not escaping lightly. He needs to come to his senses. He�d rather die than hurt TK, and that�s exactly what he�s doing.
I found the note down in your car
I slip through the door carefully, ready for just about anything. Instead of an attack, or something, he�s just sitting in his chair by the mirror, with his back to the door. �Go away Tai.� He says flatly.
�Not until you tell me what�s wrong, Ishida.� I try to look him in the eye, but he�s not cooperating. Stepping closer, I put a hand on his shoulder. He flinches.
�What makes you think anything is wrong?� I�m startled to hear the weariness in his voice. I had expected hostility, anger, but not this.
I finally catch his eye in the reflection. �You�re pushing everyone away. TK�s worried.� My words are met with stony silence for a moment, but his eyes are now showing a little bit of pain. Thank God. Maybe he�ll open up before he does something stupid.
It�s a sad world we live in when I�m glad to see my friend hurting.
�I can�t do this anymore, Tai.� He looks down at his hands.
I�m more than a little surprised. It usually takes more for me to get a straight answer out of him. �Can�t do what, Matt?�
He waves a hand around the room vaguely. �This. Being different. Being special. They all worship me, but not the real me. They worship an image.�
Hold your head high
Oh. So that�s it. He doesn�t feel good enough for all their admiration. �Matt. Look at me.� He looks up. �Not in the mirror. I feel like I�m talking to myself. Thank you.� My mind races. What can I say? Usually trying to understand him ends up with me on top of him with a black eye threatening to beat him within an inch of his life.
Hmm. Aside from the black eye and the beating, it�s not that unattractive�
Gah. What am I thinking? I blush, and he raises an eyebrow. �Look, Matt. Those fans, what they think doesn�t matter. They don�t know you like we do. TK looks up to you. In his eyes, you are perfect. You�re his big brother. And Sora, Mimi, Kari, Joe, and Izzy. They all admire you because you are a great person. You just won�t let yourself believe it.� I exhale, relieved.
�What about you?�
Well I�m not made of steel
I blink. What did he just say? Did he�? �What?�
Patiently, he repeats himself. �What about you?� I just look at him blankly. �What do you think of me?� and then he waits. Just �waits. As if he knows that one part of my mind is going, "Meh. You�re my best friend. What else do you want from me? Can I go watch the soccer game on TV now?" and the other part is screaming, "My God, it�s about time you asked. You�re gorgeous, talented, (A/N: Goddammit, Laby you�ve infected my brain! NOT THAT KIND OF TALENTED! {No, that comes later} [O_o] Voices, shut up! [Why should we?] Because I said so. {And your point would be?} *beats self in head with keyboard until voices shut up, realizing that if I�m dead they have no one to torment) smart, gorgeous, and I wish you were mine. Did I mention gorgeous?"
Just waits for me to figure it out.
I can be anything that you want me to be
So what do I tell him? If I told him what the first part of me said, I�d just put him back where he started: depressed, sorry for himself, and feeling unloved. But� if I told him what the other half of me said�
More importantly, what do I think about him? Yes, he is my best friend. But he�s� he�s� perfect, angelic, and looks really hot with a guitar, and God, I wish we were more than friends.
That�s it. Now I know exactly what I�ve got to do.
I found the note down in your car
Okay, deep breath. �Matt, you�re the best friend I�ve ever had. I don�t know what I�d do with out you. And-� I pause, waiting for him to pick up his cue.
�And?� his eyes meet mine, expectant.
I shoot him a cocky grin. �And as much as I hate to admit it, Ishida, you look damn sexy on stage with that guitar.�
He blinks, and I can see my words run through his brain once or twice as he tries to understand them. Now to wait.
Hold your head high
�I look� what?� he cocks his head. �what is THAT supposed to mean?�
I shake my head, chuckling. �You sure can be dense when you want to, can�t you?� I lean down and hover above his lips, and whisper, �It means that I�m here to sweep you off your feet.� And then� I kiss him. I expect him to push me away, punch me, anything, but I don�t care. All I can think about is how soft his lips are, how good he feels.
And then I pull away. His eyes open slowly, clouded with shock and a little bit of happiness, no, more than that� rapture.
Well I�m not made of steel
I smile at him, thinking again how beautiful he is. He just watches me, a strange smile on his face. �What was that for, Taichi? And what does it mean?�
I blush and look at the floor. �Um� would you believe that I thought it was the best way to make you feel better?�
I can just hear him smirking. �Well, it worked. What does it mean? Do you�?�
I look back up. �Yamato�I think it means I love you.�
They knock you down
He smiles, very softly, sweetly. �I love you too, Taichi.�
�And it definitely means I�ll never let you think you�re worthless, ever again.� I pull him up and wrap an arm around his shoulder. He snuggles into me, and a warm feeling starts in the pit of my stomach and spreads. He�s mine. All mine.
�Taichi?�
�Hmm?�
�Will you protect me from the fangirls, too?�
I fake a choke. �And lose my life? I don�t think so!�
FIN
Well, did you like it? [I did. It was sweet.] {You�ve written better} SHUT UP! Can�t you two get along? And, the question comes to mind, who are you and what are you doing in my head? [*shrug*] {I�m not telling you!} *Makes plea to the Heavens* Help me!
A punching bag, a piece of string
That reminds you not think
And its not your fault it gets this hard
Gets this hard
Don�t look down
I�m by your side
Won�t back down
You wanted a hero tonight
I�m not made of steel
But your secret�s safe with me
A holy cross, some sympathy, oh
That reminds you not to bleed
And you climbed up here to fall apart
Fall apart
Don�t look down
I�m by your side
Won�t back down
You wanted a hero tonight
I�m not made of steel
But your secrets safe with me
I�ll pick you up...
They laugh at you
I�ll shut them up
Luv 4eva, Leticia