As The Digi-World Turns
Part V: Confusion
Thank God it was morning. Tai had been up half the night worried sick about the whole situation and soon it could be resolved. It was 8am. Tai got out of bed and decided he should look a little bit nicer than on a usual school day. He put on a pair of black slacks and a white button up shirt. His pants hugged his sweet Tai ass and he left the shirt untucked.
"Have a good day at school hunny."
Tai kissed his mom on the cheek and left for the subway station. Instead of getting off at the university, he exited the train near Matt�s apartment. Tai nervously approached the front steps.
Wait a minute. What the hell am I going to say? "Hey buddy. How�s it going? Just thought I�d lay out of school today and then lay you." No, Shit! Just act natural.
Tai knocked on the door. No answer. He let himself in.
"Matt! Hey Matt, are you here?"
Tai made his way into the bedroom.
"HOLY SHIT!"
The two closely sleeping boys awoke.
"What in the hell is this!!"
"Tai!"
"Tai!"
The three of them stared at one another, eyes wide and mouths gaping open for about half a minute. All were speechless. Suddenly Tai turned and jetted out of the apartment. Matt tried to pick himself up and run after but after the events of the past few days, it was too much for him and he fainted. Ken knew in a split second it was up to him to handle the situation and he pulled on some pants and rushed out the door to catch Tai. Ken saw him in the distance running down the street and tried to gain on him.
"Tai wait! Please we have to talk!"
Tai paused and turned.
"There�s nothing to talk about!"
He turned to get away but slowed down to a fast walk. Ken ran, topless mind you, till he reached Tai. Tai continued his pace and Ken walked along side trying to meet Tai�s gaze. Tai just stared straight ahead.
"Look Tai, I know you�re his best friend and all but I don�t think you understand Matt."
"What�s there to understand? The fact that he is a complete slut?"
"What do you mean Tai?"
"First he messes around with Mimi, then me, and now you? I can�t believe it! Your right Ichijouji, I don�t understand him!"
"Wait, I�m confused. What exactly are you mad about?"
"Frankly you little turncoat pansy, it�s none of your business!"
Ken was taken aback by Tai�s hostility but continued to follow.
"Tai. I really need to understand what exactly, you are upset about . Are you mad to find out that your friend is gay or are you..."
Ken was stopped suddenly by Tai pushing his tiny body up against a nearby building.
"I don�t have to explain a damn thing to you! Go back to Matt and tell him I am not his little fuck bunny!"
Ken, frightened and pinned against the wall ,continued to try to resolve this for Matt�s sake.
"Tai I really think that there has been a huge misunderstanding on both you�re and Matt�s parts."
Tai�s mind was swirling and all he could really focus on was a disturbed image of his beloved in bed with Ken. He looked into Ken�s near tearful eyes and clinched his fist tightly. Then he, not at all feeling like himself, reared back and punched the small helpless Ken right in the face. Tai let loose his grip and Ken sank to the ground with his head in his hands. Tai, not believing what he had just done, stared shocked at his now nemesis. His visage then turned to anger and he darted away leaving Ken in tears.
What the hell did I just do! I haven�t hit anyone in years. Last person I hit was Matt and I felt horrible.
Tai snickered to himself as he entered the subway station.
"Well I don�t feel bad now. That little son of a bitch Ken. I have always hated that little bastard."
Tai sat down on the train. He was just going to ride until he found what he was looking for even though he had no clue as to what that was.
God what am I thinking. I�m not like this! I�m not violent. It�s not Ken�s fault. He is probably being used just like I was. That poor kid is so confused and Matt probably took advantage of his vulnerability. "No." Tai did not want to face his next thought. "Matt�s the asshole; not Mimi or Ken." He took advantage of me that night and then after he had what he wanted he didn�t bother to talk to me for days! Now it makes perfect sense! That fucker! I can�t believe he would treat his best friend like this! I thought I knew him. I thought I could love him. "I thought wrong."
Tai�s anger turned to despair and he tried to hide his tears from the other passengers.
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Ken could barely move. He was shocked, in tears, and in pain both emotionally and physically. A young girl, about 10, passed by the sobbing young man.
"Are you ok mister?"
Ken looked up from the ground and smiled through his tears.
"Hey. yeah. Thanks.."
The girl extended her hand and helped him up.
When did I become so pitiful?
Ken thanked her again and walked back to Matt�s apartment. He went in and walked to the bedroom to check on Matt. Matt was still lying on the bed where he had fainted. Ken kneeled down beside his friend.
"Yamato. Yamato. Come on. Get up."
"Hey. Tell me that was a dream."
"Sorry."
"Is he here? I need to talk to him."
"No. He left."
"Where did he go?"
"I don�t know."
"Oh my God Ken! What happened to your face?"
"I tried to run after Tai to talk to him and. I fell down. I�m a klutz."
Ken did not want to upset Matt. If he knew that Tai did this to him he would just get more upset. Matt knew something was up.
"Ken I know you well enough to know you are not a klutz."
Ken tried to change the subject.
"Hey do you want something to eat?"
"No. I want to know the truth."
Ken tried to get up and Matt put his hand around his arm to stop him.
"Please."
"Look. Tai was really upset when he saw us together. But I don�t know if it was because he thinks it�s gross, or because you said something to him at the party, or because you did something with him at the party, or because he is jealous."
"Why would he be jealous?"
"I don�t know. It�s like he seemed madder about us being in bed together than you having done something with him that you shouldn�t have. I tried to get to the bottom of it. I asked him what he was mad about and he said something like, �First Mimi, then me, now you�. It�s like he was all defensive of his relationship with you. Anyway that�s about the time he."
Ken stopped himself.
"He what?"
"Nothing."
"Did he hit you? Did he do this! Man I though he was over that aggression shit!"
"I think he was, in a way, defending his love for you."
"We have discussed this. Tai does not have an ounce of love for me."
"I think you�re wrong. Why else would he have hurt me? Tai is not just going to hurt someone because he doesn�t like or agree with them. He was being defensive of something and I think it was you."
"I just don�t know what to think. Are you okay?"
"I�ll be okay. Hey at least we know one thing. You and Tai did mess around at the party. He said to tell you that he is not your fuck bunny."
Matt laughed to himself.
"That sounds like Tai."
Ken kissed Matt�s cheek and got up to make some coffee.
Ken does make sense. Maybe Tai does like me. If we really did mess around, which I think we did, he messed back. And then he storms out when he thinks I�m with another guy. Matt smiled. Our first lovers spat. "Cool." Sucks that Ken had to get hurt but I know Tai throws sissy punches.
Matt and Ken spent the rest of the day together doing the usual. They also talked a lot about love. Matt decided that he needed to talk to Tai in person tonight and straighten things out. They also discussed Ken�s infatuation with Davis. Ken always smiled when he talked about Daisuke and that made Matt happy. It was about 7pm when Ken left and Matt picked up the phone immediately.
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When Tai got home after doing absolutely nothing all day he found his Mom and Dad on the couch waiting for him. Mr. Kamiya was usually out of town on business and when he was home that meant no fun. Tai loved his Dad and all but when he was back all his Dad wanted to do was hang out with the kids. For the next week Tai and Kari would be doing family stuff.
"Hey there! How�s my son?"
"Hey Dad. I�m okay."
"Just okay? How about a hug for your old man?"
Tai hugged his dad and walked toward his room.
"Tai hunny, where are you going?"
"To my room."
"But."
Tai slammed the door to his room and threw himself on the bed. He thought about Matt and tears flooded his face.
"Why Yama? I just don�t understand why."
The phone rang but Tai did not seem to notice.
"Tai sweetie."
Tai�s mom stuck her head in the door.
"Yamato�s on the phone."
"So." Tai said trying to hide his tears.
"Are you okay son?"
"Fine. Tell that asshole. Tell Matt I can�t talk right now and I�ll call him later."
Tai�s mom closed the door and walked back to the phone.
"Matt sugar, he said he�ll have to call you back"
"I can wait. It�s really important."
"Well, he seems real upset. I don�t know what�s wrong with him. I really wish you would try to cheer him up. Hold on and I�ll try him again."
Tai�s mom entered his room.
"Tai hunny, talk to Matt. I bet he can cheer you up."
"He is the last person that could possibly cheer me up right now!" Tai snapped.
"Well he said it is really important."
Tai jerked up and whipped up the phone in his room.
"Matt you can go straight to hell! Don�t ever fucking call me again! You used me and no telling who else! You�re a fucking bastard!"
Tai slammed down the phone and turned to his mom.
"You were right. Talking to him made me feel a lot fucking better! I�m whistling Zippidy Do-Da out my asshole I�m so damn happy!"
Tai�s father rushed into check on the commotion.
"What�s going on in here?"
Tai�s mom broke into tears at Tai�s language and ran out of the room.
"Nothing. I�m just in a fight with Matt."
"Well you need to be more respectful of your mother. She doesn�t like it when us grown men cuss."
"Sorry Dad."
"Oh fuck it."
Tai smiled for the first time since early this morning.
"You seem really upset today. Is it anything you want to talk about?"
"Nah. I�ll get over it. It�s stupid."
"Okay. If you change your mind I�ll be in the living room consoling your mom."
"Thanks Dad."
Tai rolled over on his bed and curled up in a ball. He tried to focus on sleep. It had been an exhausting day.
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Matt couldn�t believe it and couldn�t live with it. He ran to the medicine cabinet when he felt the panic set in. He was breaking out in a cold sweat and quickly swallowed two pills. He stared at himself in the mirror. Tears and sweat pouring down his face Matt took another. He finally calmed down a bit. He walked into the kitchen. He stared like a zombie at the empty bottle of vodka so he went for the rum. He took a gulp and cringed.
I�m a fucking moron. I�m a fucking moron. I�m a fucking moron.
He walked back to the bathroom and hypnotically made a steaming hot bath. This had to be perfect. He thought it was kind of sick that he fanaticized about his death . Maybe he had just been looking for an excuse all this time and this was it. He already had all the candles in place. He lit all 23 of the white candles and turned off the lights. The room was glowing. He put on the song he had always wanted to die to Don�t Fear the Reaper. He and Ken always joked "Don�t fear the reefer." He took off his clothes and sat down in the near boiling water with his mind still lost in oblivion. He then lit the eight colored candles. These were in memory of his dearest friends. Matt always thought how strange it was that they were all so close. If life had been normal he probably would have never thought to associate with any of them or they with him. He lit the pink one first.
"Mimi. You are a totally self absorbed bitch and I love you."
He lit the orange one.
"Sora. You are true and honest and I am proud to have known you."
He lit the purple one.
"Joe. You always made me laugh. Not many people can do that."