Danger Zone

Personality Crisis

“Heya, Curt!”  

“Yeah, what?”  

“Look at this!”

“What? What is it?”  The rock star stalked across the room and snatched the newspaper out of Brian’s hands.  “What? A Brian Slade look-alike contest… What about it?”  A wicked smile spread across Brian’s face.  Curt groaned audibly and dropped the paper back to the table. “Ooohhh no…no, no, NO.  You are NOT entering that thing.”

“I’m not!” Brian laughed.  Curt breathed a sigh of relief.  Then, a moment later… “You are.”

“WHAT?! No way, Brian.”

“Why not?”

“Because!”

“Because why?”

“Because I’m NOT doing it. That’s why.”

~ + ~

A week later…

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“You’re doing it for me, baby.”  Curt snorted and turned away from his blue-haired twin.  He felt utterly ridiculous standing there dressed like the world’s top pop idol.  “Break a leg, beautiful,” Brian laughed and disappeared through the door.  Curt sighed.

Showtime.

~ + ~

Outside, creatures from all over England had congregated on the stage of the Rainbow Club.  All of them looked like Brian Slade.  Curt’s head swam.  Not only was he not here of his own accord, but he was most definitely going to lose.

Brian was a dead man.

Brian…Curt glanced over and happened to see the REAL Brian Slade in the line of imposters.  Brian, seeing Curt as well, winked and blew a quick kiss.  Curt scowled.  Nobody had a chance now.

The judges started down the line, each time asking for a name only to have each one answer “I’m Brian Slade.”  Curt waited rather impatiently as the judges slowly made their way toward him at the end of the line.

“And what is your name?”  one of the judges asked with a sarcastic smirk.

Falling into character and hating himself for it, Curt answered, “I’m Brian Slade.”  After a thorough inspection, the panel moved back down the line to the dais  where they conferred for several moments.

Then, what Curt guessed to be the head judge picked up the three ribbons and grabbed the microphone as he started back toward the row of waiting Brian Slade wannabes.

“Third place goes to… Brian Slade!”  he pinned the third place ribbon on one of the various Brians.  At this point, Curt didn’t care anymore.

“ Second Place   goes to…Brian Slade!”  another imposter was pinned.

“And first place…the best Brian Slade in the world…goes to… BRIAN SLADE!!!” the crowd roared and Curt rolled his eyes.  He was glad it was over.  But then…

“No…wait! What?!  No, no no!!!”  he cried as a blue ribbon was pinned to the lapel of his green leopard-print coat. 

He was then thrust forward to give the crowd a good look.  Realizing that he had won, Curt bowed with a flourish.  He was enjoying the attention of the spotlight and the crowd.  When he looked around, he noticed the second-place winner grinning madly.  He was standing next to the real Brian Slade, who was sulking in the corner with the third place ribbon.  Flashing a mean grin at the real Brian,  Curt started to strut around, bowing to his loving audience.

~ + ~

After the show, Curt chased Brian down.  Brian was in no mood for company.

“Hi there, Charlie!” he laughed, trying to take off the wig.  “Uhm…Brian…”

“What?”  the pissed off rock start croaked.

“The wig…it won’t come off.”

“I know.”

“What?”

“I glued it on.”

“Why you little…”  At that exact moment.

“ITS BRIAN SLADE!!!”  Brian grinned proudly and opened his arms to his fans that ran straight past him and tackled Curt.  Brian’s proud grin quickly fizzled, and he started to snort.

“NO! I’m not Brian Slade!”  A gasping sound.  “That is!”  Then, muffled, “Mmm  Murm Miwmmmm!!!!” 

“Having a bit of a personality crisis, BRIAN?”  Brian asked, and started to laugh.  From the middle of the pile stretched a hand, holding up a middle finger. Brian just laughed harder and kept walking.

“Its just that personality crisis…”