Title: Danger Zone: China Girl
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Green Jello?
Disclaimer: Todd Haynes owns them. I just play with them. Oh yeah…and
Iggy Pop and David Bowie own the song “China Girl.”
Thank you Ziggy, for inspiring this tidbit of complete and utter filth.
“CUT!”
Curt looked up from his place on the floor, half-pissed, half-amused. They’d
done twenty-three takes on the same shot, and no matter what he did, he couldn’t
get it right.
“What is it now, Jack?” he called, trying to stifle a grin at his situation.
He was lying on the ground after having slid in the green jell-o that was being
thrown at him. The women around him – beautiful Chinese women dressed in not
much more than their underwear, were standing around giggling to themselves
after having pelted the rocker repeatedly with the jiggly stuff.
“For the last time, Curt,” Jack Fairy replied smoothly, taking his directing
job way too seriously for this silly set, “You are not supposed to land
ass-first. You are SUPPOSED to fall forward, and just before you hit the floor,
the camera is going to cut away.”
“Alright, alright… fuck. Lighten up, baby, please.”
“I’ll lighten up when this is finished. Now get your sticky ass back in
place.” Curt, ever the smart-ass, gave Jack a Nazi salute – a dangerous
thing to do in the middle of Berlin in 1972 – and took his jell-o-covered self
back to his starting position.
He smirked at the girls holding the globs of jell-o as they giggled back at him,
readying himself for the next run, hoping he’d land the right way so he could
get on with his torture of the prettiest girl on the end. He was even
considering pulling Jack in and having a mud wrestling match…substituting the
green goop for the mud.
“And… ACTION!” The music kicked in again, and Curt mouthed the words to
the song as he bolted down the slick runway, ducking jell-o pellets as he went.
I stumble into town just like a sacred cow
Visions of swastikas in my head
Plans for everyone
It's in the white of my eyes
This time, he managed to hurtle himself forward, grabbing the girl at the end
and pulling her down with him, taking the jell-o from her hand and feeding it
back to her, continuing to mouth the words to the song.
My little China Girl
You shouldn't mess with me
I'll ruin everything you are
I'll give you television
I'll give you eyes of blue
I'll give you men who want to rule the world
“Okay, and…CUT!” came the bark from Jack and Curt looked up again,
grinning like crazy.
“How was that?”
“Perfect, darling. Absolutely perfect. Go get yourself cleaned up and we’ll
get ready for the next few shots.”
~ + ~
Half an hour later, Curt found himself standing in a pair of black leather pants
and a billowy white shirt, the pretty Chinese girl standing in front of him. The
music played again…
And when I get excited
My little China Girl says
Oh baby just you shut your mouth
And when I get excited
My little China Girl says
Oh baby just you shut your mouth
She says ... sh-she says
He sang along until she leaned into him, silencing him with a finger. Curt,
feeling playful, waggled his eyebrows at the girl and sucked the tip of her
finger into his mouth. She squeaked and tried to pull away, completely
unsuspecting.
“CUT!!!” came the scream again.
“What now?!”
“She jumped!”
“So cut the shot before she jumps! Get the close up! It was good!”
“Do it again!”
“I will not!”
~ + ~
One week later…
“It looks great, Curt.”
“Thank you, Jack…but it was all your doing.”
“Its your sexy ass in the video, not mine.”
“So my ass is sexy?”
”Just pay attention to the film and make sure we didn’t miss anything.”
The video played back on the 12 different monitors as Curt, Jack, the band, the
cast of the video, and the entire production crew watched its final run before
being sent for release and distribution.
When it was over, Curt and Jack looked at each other, smiled, and nodded,
signaling a job well-done, green jell-o and all.
© Draickin und Phoenix
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