My Pagan Poems
Swallow once more and hide in the darkness
I stare at the night with reaching eyes
Look out in terror, in the fear of what I know
But do not see, the aberration my mind cannot grasp
And my eyes cannot capture but which is there
No, there, by the door, standing in my room or
Floating maybe above my stricken face and
Always, always grinning with a horrible shapeless
Mouth, and the teeth stretch over the whole face
Across the room, around my world, grinning
And gnashing silently but effectively, never stopping

Open eyes, closed eyes, I blink and peer through the
Cold and fetid air.  I smell the demon through my skin and
Feel the breath at once both hot and cold but I
Finally decide to watch (knowing I am doomed, I
still refuse to be surprised by my own demise)
And he only waits, just out of reach, in a shadow
In a roving moonbeam, laughing that I cannot
Escape and grinning still at the paralysis of my terror

Eternal night, will you end?  Can I reach the dawn
Or will dawn stay forever in my nonexistent future?
The hours roll by, or were they seconds?  And still
I quake, I sweat, I cry in silence and curse myself.
For I know this demon, I curse his name and will never
Ever leave him for the safety of another dream or another
Life.  I may hate, and I may run, but I only sink
Into his arms, into the bitter soul I so lately denied but
I have embraced the demon and have become him in myself
I saw the dragon eat the mist and asked why
He said that is not the question to ask today
But rather, I should ask how
Meditate, he said, on how to eat the mists
And the reasons become apparent in time
To the eater, the hungry one in you
For the wisdom is not in the answers
But in the asking lies the purpose
And do not seek a teacher, little one
Only seek to know yourself
Know that you are divine and in
God rests the truest of all knowledge
Dragondream
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