SIGNS THAT YOU ARE TOO DRUNK!

YOU LOSE ARGUMENTS WITH INANIMATE OBJECTS

YOU HAVE TO HOLD ONTO THE LAWN TO KEEP FROM FALLING OFF THE EARTH

JOB INTERFERING WITH DRINKING

YOUR DOCTOR FINDS TRACES OF BLOOD IN YOUR ALCOHOL STREAM

THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD KEEPS GETTING HIT BY THE TOILET SEAT

YOU CAN FOCUS BETTER WITH ONE EYE CLOSED

THE PARKING LOT SEEMS TO HAVE MOVED WHILE YOU WERE IN THE BAR

YOU FALL OFF THE FLOOR

YOUR TWIN SONS ARE NAMED BARLEY AND HOPS

5 BEERS HAS JUST AS MANY CALORIES AS A BURGER, SCREW DINNER

MOSQUITOES CATCH A BUZZ AFTER ATTACKING YOU

AT AA MEETINGS YOU BEGIN: HI, MY NAME IS ...UH...SHIT I FORGOT!

YOUR IDEA OF CUTTING BACK IS LESS SALT

YOU WOKE UP IN THE BEDROOM, YOUR UNDIES ARE IN THE BATHROOM, BUT YOU FELL ASLEEP CLOTHED?

THE WHOLE BAR SAYS HI WHEN YOU COME IN

EVERY NIGHT YOU BEGIN TO FIND YOU'RE ROOMATES CAT MORE AND MORE ATTRACTIVE

ROSEANNE LOOKS GOOD

DON'T RECOGNIZE WIFE UNLESS SEEN THROUGH BOTTOM OF GLASS

THAT DAMNED PINK ELEPHANT FOLLOWED YOU HOME AGAIN