If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 
        
	If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it 
        considered a hostage situation? 
        
	Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they 
        still grow, only to be troubled and insecure? 
        
	What's another word for synonym? 
        
	Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? 
        
	When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? 
        
	When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown 
        away? 
        
	Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? 
        
	Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? 
        
	Why do they report power outages on TV? 
        
	What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an 
        endangered plant? 
        
	Is it possible to be totally partial? 
        
	If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 
        
	Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk? 
        
	Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will 
        clean them? 
        
	If a funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their 
        headlights off? 
        
	If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? 
        
	If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he 
        still wrong? 
        
	If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless? 
        
	Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? 
        
	Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? 
        
	If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain 
        silent? 
        
	Why do people who know the least, know it the loudest? 
        
	If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? 
            
	If it ain't broke, break it.

	A tree: first you chop it down, then you chop it up.

	If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

	What exactly is "diddley squat?"

	If the bouncer gets drunk, who throws him out?

	This year is the two millionth anniversary of sperm!

	the day after tomarrow is the third day of the rest of you're life.

	Santa is satan spelled inside out.

	When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

	If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

	Why do they put braille on the number pads at drive-thru bank machines?

	If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

	Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection?

	Why is abbreviation such a long word?

	Why do kamikazee pilots where helmets?

	Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

	If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?