It All Started With A Chibi…
Author's note: I don't own
Slayers. Or anything except my lovely Christina Mathenna ©
and my computer and my ficcies. That is all. There is a moderate
swearing in this ficcie, but it is all for humorous purposes. That is all.
D.S.: *sitting at her computer* What
should I do today?
Xellos: *sitting on her shoulder in
chibi form* Well you might try getting dressed.
D.S.: *is in her bra and pajama
bottoms* WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?! *blush*
Xellos: I'm your shoulder angel.
D.S.: *blush* NO YOU AREN'T!
*snatches blanket from bed*
Xellos: You're right. I'm not.
D.S.: *in snuggly blankie* Why are
you here?
Xellos: What are those little stony
things on your pajamas?
D.S.: ANSWER THE QUESTION!
Xellos: *kawaii genki grin* Those are Chibi Zelgadis' aren't they D.S.-sama?
D.S.: *nervous laugh* *sweatdrop*
Xellos: Yare, yare, I never knew you
had a thing for him. *finger waggle*
D.S.: Well I-
Xellos: And what is that on your
computer? Is that an Amelia/Zelgadis lemon?
D.S.: You see-
Xellos: Oh dear, imagine if Zelgadis
or Miss Amelia saw this…
D.S.: *goes pale* Uh…
Xellos: Well, what are you waiting
for get some clothes on! We have things to do, people to annoy Mazoku to mess
with…
D.S.: I can't.
Xellos: Why not?
D.S.: You're sitting on me.
Xellos: So I am! *turns into full
Xellos sitting on her lap*
D.S.: *rolls eyes and gets up,
dumping him on the ground* *walks into closet*
Xellos: *tries to peek in*
D.S.: Hentai! *throws shoe at him*
Xellos: OW!
D.S.: Oh please. *comes out in a
black miniskirt and purple long-sleeved halter and platform knee-high silver
boots, making her a bunch taller(grin)*
Xellos: Are you ready yet? Ooh,
purple.
D.S.: Yes. So…where are we --HANG ON
ONE DAMN MINUTE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'ARE YOU READY'?
Xellos: *sweatdrop* Would you kindly stop yelling?
D.S.: Look at it from my perspective.
You waltz in here, tell me to get dressed *blush*, and tell me we're going
somewhere. I was going to work on my stories today! I had stuff planned!
Xellos: Oh? *blink* Like what?
D.S.: Like…stuff…*pauses to think*
Xellos: *sighs as D.S. goes off into
ditz mode* Come on. *teleports out with her*
D.S.: Pretty colors. *faints*
Xellos: *sweatdrop as he materializes
in front of the Slayers with D.S. in his arms*
Minna besides Xellos and D.S.: NANI?
Xellos: She's never teleported
through dimensions before.
Amelia: Makes sense.
Gourry: *nod*
Zelgadis: Is that who I think it is?
*looks terrified*
Lina: Oh no! L-sama forbid! *turns white*
Amelia: *looks nervous*
Gourry: This is the song that never
ends…
Xellos: *sets D.S. on her feet, even
though she's unconscious. She falls to the ground with a 'thud'* Oh dear.
Amelia: YOU KILLED THE AUTHORESS!
Zelgadis: Who's complaining?!
Amelia: MISTER ZELGADIS! THAT'S
HORRIBLE!
Lina: Oh who cares? She's dead!
Zelgadis: Ding-dong D.S. is dead!
Gourry: Who is dead?
Lina: D.S. is dead!
Zelgadis: Ding-dong the authoress is
dead!
Xellos: Um minna-san…
Lina: Wake up you jellyfish!
Gourry: I guess she finally granted
our wish…
Zelgadis: Everyone, D.S. is dead!
Lina: She's gone where the fruitcakes
go!
Gourry: Below-below-below!
Zelgadis: Yo-ho, let's open up and
sing
Gourry: And ring the bells out.
Lina: Ding Dong' the merry-oh,
Gourry: Sing it high
Zelgadis: Sing it low
All three: Ding-dong the authoress is dead!
D.S.: Which authoress?
Lina: WHO THE HELL WOKE YOU UP?
Xellos: *whistle innocently*
D.S.: *blush* *mumbles* I dunno…
Lina: Oh my God…
Amelia: Nobody move! * pounds Lina,
Gourry, Zelgadis and Xellos*
Minna: What was that for?
Amelia: For being so horribly unjust!
That was a horrible song and you all know it!
Xellos: Miss Amelia, why did I
deserve to be pounded though? *sweatdrop*
Amelia: For waking up D.S.-sama in a
hentai, ecchi way!
D.S.: He didn't wake me up like that
Amelia! *makes a face* I thought you of all people wouldn't think of things
like that!
Amelia: What are you talking about?
D.S.: Are we talking about the same
thing?
Amelia: Um…I dunno.
Zelgadis: Both of you…
Lina: SHUT UP!
Gourry: Shutting up Lina.
Lina: NOT YOU!
Zelgadis: First off, I would like to
know why you brought this insane fruitcake here Xellos, and second, I would
like to know why the hell she is sitting on the ground in that-that-outfit!
*sweatdrop*
D.S.: What does
my clothes have to do with anything?
Zelgadis: I ran out of things to say.
D.S.: *sweatdrop*
Xellos: You see,
I figured bringing the authoress here would liven things up a bit. Especially since she has horrible writer's block. With her
wonderful author powers, she could really cause some trouble, ne?
D.S.: 'Cause trouble?'
Amelia: 'Writer's block?'
Lina: 'Liven things up a bit?!'
Zelgadis: 'Wonderful author powers?!'
Gourry: *blinking his eyes, trying to
make them stay together*
Xellos: Precisely. Anyway, I have the
whole day planned. First stop: the Mazoku Dark Lord Meeting! *grabs everybody
and teleports away*
~~~ (Squigglies, I love that word…squigglies…) ~~~
Gaav: *shuffling some papers* First
off on the agenda, Phibby has an announcement to make.
Phibrizo: Yeah thanks Gaav. *rolls
eyes* It has come to me that everyone calls me Phibby, not Great lord
Hellmaster Phibrizo! Do not call me Phibrizo! No one treats me with any
respect!
All: 0_o
Phibrizo: Dolphin understands what I
mean, right Dolphin? No one calls her Deep Sea Dolphin when that’s her name.
They just call her Dolphin.
Dolphin: Fishy? *tilts head*
Zellas: You should’ve known better
than to try and use Dolphin as an example.
Phibrizo: See, see what I mean? They
don’t treat you with any respect Dolphin! No more than they treat me either!
Dynast: *enters and conjures up a
chair out of ice* Sorry I’m late.
Zellas: *takes a sip of wine* Well,
you’re here now so we’ll excuse it. Where is my general/priest anyway? He said
he was going to be a little late. *Xellos appears with the Slayers, all thoroughly
pissed, and a very loopy D.S.*
Amelia: Evil Mazoku Dark Lords!
*Justice Finger tm*
Lina: Xellos! You tricked us!
Zelgadis: *really, really pissed. * I
knew that no good would come of this!
D.S.: Dolphin! *runs toward her and
they hug*
Dolphin: Fishy! *smile*
D.S.: Fishy! *nod*
Minna: O_O;
Xellos: Lord Zellas. *bow*
Zellas: Oh hello Xellos. *holds out
her hand and wiggles her fingers* Where's my brandy?
Xellos: *sweatdrop* *pulls bottle out
of subspace* Here it is Beastmaster.
Zellas: *happy* Thank you Xellos
dear. *refills her glass magically*
Lina: Okay, first of all, why are we
here?
Zelgadis: Stupid question.
Xellos: Sore wa
himitsu- *D.S. stalks over, to Xellos, all sexy and seductive, and the boy Dark
Lords sit up in their chairs*
D.S.: Xellos? *grabs his collar*
Xellos: *sweatdrop* Yes D.S.-sama?
D.S.: *whaps him upside the head* If
don’t answer everyone’s questions truthfully from now on, I’ll tell Filia about
your special tattoo…
Xellos: *major sweatdrop* Hehe,
You’re all here to play a little game I like to call, 'Spin the Bottle'
D.S.: Oh! Fun! I’ll get the alcohol!
*disappears for a minute with Zellas*
Xellos: Oi.
Gourry: I love that word. Oi.
Zelgadis: Damn fruitcakes.
Amelia: How do you play this game?
Xellos: You get in a circle, spin the
bottle, and whoever it lands on you have to kiss.
Amelia: I will not participate in
such a degrading game!
Zelgadis: And I won’t let her!
Minna: Excuse me?
Zelgadis: *small voice* I mean,
neither will I.
Gourry: I’m game!
Lina: WHAT?!
Zelgadis: You can’t be serious.
Lina: Aw hell. What have we got to
lose?
Xellos: *under his breath* Someone’s
virginity.
Amelia: *turns blue* Miss Lina, I now
know this isn’t a good idea.
Lina: Listen you hentai Mazoku, you
won’t touch any one of us without getting Fireballed!
Xellos: *sweatdrop*
Zelgadis: *standing in front of
Amelia* We will not play your stupid games and-
D.S.: *coming back in with Zellas,
both of their arms laden with beer, wine, margarita mix, brandy, and whiskey* You guys ready to play?
Lina: Like hell.
D.S.: *gllaaaaaarrrrreeeee*
Slayers: Eep! 0_0
Dynast: *to Gaav* At least we don’t
have to play.
Xellos: Um, D.S.-sama, we don't need
wine for this game…
D.S.: Aw…shit. *gives the bottles
reluctantly to Zellas after grabbing a bottle of wine for herself
~~~(Uh oh…insane, hyperactive authoress
plus alcohol equals really bad stuff)~~~
D.S.: *everyone is seated in a
circle* I’ll be a judge. *stalks off to the side so she can play with fate*
Xellos: *sweatdrop* Lina, why don't
you go first?
Lina: Fine. *spins the bottle, it
lands on no one* Hey, wait a minute…
D.S.: Oh dear, we need another girl,
don't we? Oh! I know! *snaps fingers and Filia appears* *claps hands* Yay!
Filia: Where am I?
All: *monotone* You're
in a cave with the insane authoress playing 'Spin the Bottle'.
Filia: *grr*
D.S.: Oh I forgot. No one can use
magic or any weapons. *waves hands and Filia's mace disappears, along with
Zelgadis, Lina, and Gourrys' swords.*
All: WHAT?
D.S.: Play the damn game.
Xellos: I think I'll start this time.
*spins the bottle, it lands on Amelia* Oh Amelia…
Amelia: *edging away from him,
towards the wall* No, no, please God no… *pale*
Zelgadis: Leave her alone Xellos.
Xellos: *mischievous grin* But she's
so sexy. Amelia is the sexiest woman I have ever seen. *starts to walk toward
her*
Zelgadis: Hey! Stop it! *gets up*
Lina/D.S.: *big smirk*
Amelia: I won't! I won't!
Xellos: It won't hurt, I promise…
Amelia: *grimace* Fine. *holds still and Xellos swoops in, kissing her full on the mouth.
She waits for him to finish, and for the sole purpose of pissing Zel off, he
doesn't stop. Amelia starts flailing her arms wildly in attempt to get away*
Zelgadis: THAT IS LONG ENOUGH! *grabs
Xellos, flings him against the wall*
Xellos-shaped-crater: Itai…
Amelia: *sinks down to the floor and
crawls slowly back to the circle*
D.S.: *takes a swig of wine* I like
this game!
Filia: Stop drinking. *glare*
D.S.: *takes a big sip* Make me. *giggle*
All: Uh oh…
D.S.: Filia, why don’t you spin next?
Filia: *glare* Fine. *spins and it
lands on…*
All: XELLOS?
Filia: OBJECTION!
D.S.: Overruled.
Filia: He just kissed Amelia!
Amelia: *weakly* Don’t
remind me.
D.S.: You have to kiss him. It’s the rules.
Filia: But…but…
D.S.: *gets battle aura* DO IT!
Filia: *wide-eyed* Okay…okay. Come
here Xellos.
Xellos: *grin*
Filia: *gives him a slight peck on
the cheek and rushes back to her seat*
Xellos: Aw come on! That wasn’t a
kiss! *looks at D.S. appealingly*
D.S.: Well…technically…it was…*pouts*
Lina: Um, Gourry, why don’t you go
next?
Gourry: *spins bottle, it lands on
Lina*
Lina: WHAT? You can’t be serious!
D.S.: Oh but I am. *sip* *giggle*
Zelgadis: OI.
Amelia: OI.
Gourry: OI.
Xellos: That is a-
Lina: *bashes his head*
D.S.: What? *giggle*
Zelgadis: Is it just me, or is she
getting tipsy?
Lina: It isn't just you. Come here
Gourry.
Gourry: Why?
Lina: Cause you have to kiss me.
Gourry: Why?
Lina: Cause the bottle landed on me.
Gourry: Why?
Lina: If I knew why, I would change
the rules.
Gourry: Why?
Lina: Cause I hate this game.
Gourry: Why?
Lina: Because now I have to admit my
feelings for you because I have to kiss you and blush and stuff.
Gourry: Why?
Lina: STOP ASKING WHY!!!!! *seethes*
Gourry: Why?
Lina: Darkness beyond twilight-
Gourry: *stops Lina's chanting by
grabbing her face and kissing her*
Lina: You're a good kisser Gourry. OI.
D.S.: OI! *raises wine bottle and
Lina faints* Was it something I said? *sip*
Amelia: No.
D.S.: Oh…okay! *sip*
Amelia: I guess…I'll spin next.
*spins and it lands on the wall* NANI?!
D.S.: Kiss the wall Amelia. *sip sip*
Amelia: Oh…fine. *kisses wall*
All except Lina: 0_o
Zelgadis: When I finish spinning is
the game over?
D.S.: *sip* Sh-ure Zelly-kun… *sways
slightly* *sip*
Zelgadis: OI…*spins and it lands on,
who else, Amelia*
Amelia: **blush**
Zelgadis: ***blush*** I don't know…
Amelia: *walks up and whispers* I
don't mind if you don't…
Zelgadis: *leans forward and french
kisses her, to which she responds*
**FIVE MINUTES GO BY**
Lina: *woke up five minutes ago* Don't you guys have to come up for air?
D.S.: Fum-fishy-fum-fishy! *sip*
*giggle*
Filia: One would think so.
Xellos: I don't know…
Filia: Shut up.
D.S.: GO Amelia and Zel! *drains
bottle* Pretty lights *falls off rock she is sitting on and passes out*
All except Amelia and Zel: OI!
Lina: *stalks over to Amelia and Zel*
That's it you two! Enough!
Zelgadis: *breaks apart from Amelia
reluctantly, and she does the same* Okay, game over.
Amelia: *sees fainted D.S.* What happened to her?
Xellos: *makes a drinking movement
with his hand and sighs* Alcohol is bad for her. *picks up D.S.* I think we
better sober her up and send her home.
~~~(Guess I should stay away from
alcohol as well as sugar ne?)~~~
D.S.: Where am I?
Amelia: You're at your house.
D.S.: Then why are you guys here?
Zelgadis: We're your muses remember?
D.S.: Oh yeah…
Zelgadis: I have been checking out
some of those lemons you read. **blush**
D.S.: *evil smile* You
want me to write one for you and Amelia Zel-kun?
Zelgadis: *pales and blushes while
Amelia is wondering what the hell they are talking about*
D.S.: Thought so. *whips out notepad*
Note to self: write Ame/Zel lemon. Wait: P.S.: Write fluffy romantic
Ame/Zel lemon.
Zelgadis: God help me!
End! ^-^
P.S. Do you want an Ame/Zel lemon?
Well, do ya? I have gotten a few requests, but I'm not sure… *sweatdrop* People
are so weird.
Zel: You're one to talk.
Shut up. ^-^ Ja
ne!