| I lay on my back, looking through the skylight, thinking. Will and I had come in after sitting outside for a while and now had gone to bed under the stars. But sleep wouldn't come to me as easily as it did my companion. 'Companion'. A good word to use for someone you were with but not as good as 'friend'. Was he my friend? Of course. But what else was he? To me, he was something different, someone I wanted to protect me and wanted to protect at the same time. I could look in his eyes and see the little kid he never got to be at home and I wanted to rock that kid until he fell asleep in my arms. 'Hell, you can't deny it to yourself; you love him and you've only known him for a few months,' I thought but shook my head. It felt like I had known him forever. It was like he could read my mind and sometimes like tonight, he read my soul. Was he afraid of what he saw? Or was he afraid of himself? Either way, I wasn't going to find out anytime soon. I could always understand fighting better than what I'd called 'sappy emotions'. Those just got in the way of what you were doing. Will turned in his sleep, flinging his bare arm across my stomach and I flinched. His skin was warm against the thin cloth of my shirt and I shook my head. 'Taka won't need to dismiss the thought of offspring if this keeps up.' Sliding from under his arm, I stood and padded softly out to the living room. "Pup, sleep won't come to you," a voice said in the corner and I turned to find Grandfather standing against the wall. "Your thoughts toss and turn, as well as your body." Nodding slightly, I cursed silently. 'The last thing I need is more surprises tonight,' but then I shook my head. 'No, I need to know. Everything. Now.' "Grandfather, could you do me a favor?" "Ask." "No more games. No more surprises. Please. I'm too confused as it is. Will and I went outside tonight and I could feel him. His power ran and flowed across my skin like ice; I could feel his soul." I took a deep breath and sat on the couch. "And I don't know why. Please, tell me, what's going on?" Sleeping Panther pushed up from the wall and sat next to me, his long flowing hair undone. When I was a small child, I used to braid his hair and just lose myself. If things were still that simple... "Feeling him...frightens you?" he said softly and stared at me through his hair. My own hair was tied back in a lose ponytail but was now falling around my shoulders. "It just seems so...personal. Like an invasion of him and his mind. I feel like I'm mentally raping him, or..." I fought to explain. "I just can't put the feeling into words." Grandfather sighed. "Funny how you should compare it to sex." "I didn't mean too--" "Because that is the closest comparison you are going to get." I looked at him and blinked. When he didn't offer anything, I swallowed. "You mean...sharing this...whatever, is like sex?" I managed to say and my elder nodded. "What you are sharing is your power, which is directly connected to your soul. And of course, your mind is connected to your soul. What you feel and what he feels runs back and forward between you two and it what binds you together. It is why if one of you dies, the other one suffer almost as bad. You can block off yourself to each other but only to a certain limit." "But why have this in the first place?" I shook my head. "It doesn't make any sense. I don't want to--" "Feel what he does?" "That's not--" Grandfather pinned me with a look and I stopped in mid sentence. "You don't want to feel what he does," he said slowly. "Because you do not know what he feels for you and that is the worry you carry with you. It was originally made for mating purposes only in wolves but now, you have inherited it. Its function is not purely sexual; it is a gift. You are now bound to your love as you are supposed to be." Looking past him into the fireplace, I whispered, "I maybe bound to my love but is he bound to his? I felt something tonight, Grandfather. Something dark, something that scared me. And I feel it in me too. It's like an ember, too hot to touch and I don't want to touch it to begin with, even though it fascinates me. I'm too young for this; I can't make a choice to love someone that might not care for me. Not all WolfAngels are mated; I learned that from the cave. We may have the same birthmarks but he's my friend and he hasn't--" I looked up and felt something wet crawl down my face. Tears. I haven't cried in half a decade. "I don't know what to do, Grandfather." Sleeping Panther put his arms around me and cradled me close; his body as strong and as solid as it had been when I was smaller. He was speaking Cherokee softly, stroking my hair as he spoke. I didn't understand all of the words but I didn't have to; they made me feel warm inside. "Stalking Wolf," he said softly and I looked up. The lines of age that usually marred his face were gone, smoothing and sculpting his features until he appeared as if he was barely twenty. 'What did he do? He never uses my tribal name...' "The burden for you will be hard to carry and your road will be long. Do not give up hope because it is hope that holds the very place you stand on together." Piercing gold eyes searched my face. "You and William will find your demon tomorrow. You will both stare them in the face. You must conquer them or else...or else, everything is in vain." I tilted my head and sat up, squaring my shoulders. "I will conquer them," I said, my own voice sounding distant. "I will because I am not afraid." Sleeping Panther looked at me with a sad look. "If you are not, then I fear Sayt has already won." |